Heartland Wedding (7 page)

But what of tenderness and affection? What of love?

Would her marriage be any different from her lonely childhood?

As though sensing her distress, Pete’s brown eyes locked with hers, and he smiled so sweetly her heart skipped a beat. If not careful, she could fall for this man.

She must not.

Her parents’ neglect had taught her well. Only loneliness and pain came from loving too much, especially when the emotion wasn’t returned.

She would have to be careful with her feelings for this man.

Pete stopped directly in front of her. “Rebecca.” His voice was surprisingly gentle. “Are you certain you want to do this tonight? I know I’ve pushed you. We can wait a day or two if you need more time to prepare.”

Staring into those beautiful, compelling eyes, she couldn’t answer him right away—her heart was stuck in her throat—but she swallowed back her nerves and forced her words out in careful English. “Now is good. Now is right.”

He smiled again, the gesture transforming his face. Honestly, the man should smile more often.

Needing a moment to gain her composure, she quickly turned her attention to the preacher and his wife. “Good evening. I appreciate you doing this for us tonight.”

They both nodded solemnly.

Richard Preston looked like a preacher. Tall, scarecrow thin and dark-haired, he was an ordinary-looking man with a pleasant, nearly forgettable face. His wife was shorter, a little plump, very blond and quite pretty.

Mrs. Preston’s gaze met Rebecca’s for the first time
ever. Rebecca clutched her mother’s kerchief tighter. Although Susannah wasn’t actually scowling at her, her mouth was pinched at a slightly odd angle. A single hollow etched a tiny groove across her wide brow, and her eyes held a watchful expression.

Rebecca sighed. She supposed the woman’s lack of warmth was to be expected. Susannah Preston was friends with Mrs. Johnson’s daughter, Abigail. No telling what she’d heard about Rebecca’s time spent with Pete in his storm cellar.

Yet another reminder why this marriage must occur tonight.

Burying her trembling fingers inside the folds of her skirt, Rebecca tried to appear calm. Stoic was the best she could manage under the circumstances.

Pete took her elbow and directed her to the front of the church. He loomed large next to her, but instead of scaring her, his presence gave her courage. In a matter of hours, he’d become her pillar of strength, her trustworthy sentinel much like the granite cliffs overlooking the fjords in her homeland.

Glory.

“Let’s begin,” the pastor said, employing his booming preacher voice despite the fact that the wooden pews held all of two people this evening.

Bible open, he shifted his gaze to his wife. “My dear, would you be so kind as to play a hymn for us first?”

Giving him a stiff bob of her head, Susannah Preston positioned herself at the church’s organ.

Hands raised, she pounded out the wheezing refrain of a hymn Rebecca had never heard before. Then again, perhaps she had heard the tune. The organ had seen better
days twenty years ago. Now it was a pitiful instrument that only produced a series of hisses, tinks and bangs.

Trying not to cringe, Rebecca smoothed the lines in her already smooth skirt. She cast a quick glance over her shoulder. Mrs. Jennings sat broomstick-straight, while Edward slumped forward, his left arm wrapped protectively around his middle. What a forlorn little group they made.

“It’ll be over soon,” Pete whispered. To punctuate the statement, he took her hand and gently stroked his thumb over her knuckles.

Her heartbeat quickened.

The music stopped abruptly and Rebecca jerked.

Pete let go of her hand and squared his shoulders.

“Dearly beloved,” the pastor began. “We are gathered here to witness the union of Peter Daniel Benjamin and Rebecca Anne Gundersen in holy matrimony.”

With the words of the marriage ceremony falling over them, Rebecca found herself thinking of her parents again, and she brought the kerchief to her cheek. From her first memory to her last, Helga and Carl Gundersen had formed a single unit. They’d been so close that even their own children couldn’t break past their tight bond. They’d truly been joined as one.

In that moment, Rebecca realized why she considered marriage to Pete such a lonely prospect. She’d viewed it from the eyes of an ignored child.

Would marrying Pete be as lonely as she expected, or could she hope for something else, something that transcended her childhood memories?

“Scripture is clear about the purpose of marriage,” Reverend Preston continued. “As Genesis 2:24 says,
‘Therefore a man must leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife.’”

Rebecca cast a quick glance at Pete from under her lowered lashes. Would he cleave to her?

She could tell nothing from his expression. His eyes held a sad, distant look in them. Was he thinking of his first wife?

How could he not think of her now? After all, Pete had
wanted
to marry Sarah, while mean-spirited gossip had driven this union. Not love, not choice, but necessity.

Rebecca swallowed back a sob.

Pete turned his head to look at her then. His rich brown eyes seemed to see right through her, past every pretension and straight to the secret depths of her soul.

His gaze softened and he clutched her hand again. The gesture had a soothing affect on her nerves.

Reverend Preston cleared his throat.

Pete continued commanding Rebecca’s gaze. A moment passed, and then, slowly—very, very slowly—he let go of her hand.

Without his touch, despair threatened to press in on her again. She shook off the melancholy with a determined shrug.

“Do you have rings to exchange?” the Reverend asked.

Rings?
Rebecca looked at Pete. He stood blinking at her in what could only be described as stunned silence.

“I’m sorry, Rebecca, I didn’t think.” His gaze filled with genuine regret. “It never occurred to me to provide rings.”

“Not to worry.” Mrs. Jennings scuttled forward, nudging the preacher aside with her hip until she was standing in his place. “It occurred to me.”

With a flourish, she pulled out two shiny gold rings from a tapestry satchel hanging around her wrist. “My dear Mr. Jennings purchased these on our wedding day thirty years ago. God willing, they’ll fit you.”

“Oh, Mrs. Jennings.” Rebecca’s throat cinched. “I…
we
can’t possibly take your wedding rings.”

“You most definitely will accept them. They’re my gift to you, freely given.” She cupped Rebecca’s cheek and smiled kindly. “I never had children of my own. You and Edward are as close as I’ll ever come.” She dropped her hand. “Take these precious rings with my blessing.”

“I…I…” Rebecca couldn’t push her words out in English.

A wave of desperation had her turning to Pete for help.

He stepped forward and pulled Mrs. Jennings into a loose hug. “We’d be honored to accept this treasured wedding gift.” He set her at arm’s length, his hands resting on her thin shoulders. “And I promise, before you
and
God that I will take care of Rebecca the rest of my days.”

Sniffing loudly, Mrs. Jennings waved a dismissive hand between them. “Oh, dear Mr. Benjamin, I know that.”

Pete stepped back and opened his hand.

Smiling through watery eyes, Mrs. Jennings dropped both rings into his outstretched palm.

Overcome with her own emotion, Rebecca stood rigid and trembling, unable to fathom how blessed she’d become in one day.

Realizing everyone was waiting for her, she stepped forward and hugged Mrs. Jennings tightly against her. “Thank you. I won’t ever,
ever
forget this.”

Dabbing at her eyes, the older woman patted Rebecca’s hand and then quickly returned to her seat.

Rebecca smiled ever so slightly.

The Lord had just provided her with a new beginning. Not the one she had expected. Certainly not the one that she’d dreamed of as a little girl. But a fresh start, all the same.

She would not waste this opportunity.

P
ete escorted Rebecca down the church steps, his large hand a whisper touch on her elbow. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the way he helped her down the stairs. But with him walking this closely beside her, and with his clean, woodsy scent wafting between them, the events of the past hour raced through her thoughts with excruciating detail.

One particular moment kept playing over and over again in her mind. It had happened when Pete was talking to the pastor at the back of the church after the ceremony was over. Her eyes had met his, and in that instant Rebecca had felt as though she truly belonged to Pete—as a wife belonged to her husband.

The sensation hadn’t lasted very long, but it had been enough to thread hope through her heart. Perhaps marrying Pete was a good thing.

Then again…

A rush of nerves made her miss the last step and she lost her footing.

Pete’s fingers tightened on her arm until she regained her balance. But
still
he said nothing to her.

What was he thinking?

She glanced into his face. His expression was a study in calm, as though they were taking a routine stroll down the street. A thousand questions flitted across her mind. She voiced none of them and continued walking silently beside him.

The night air stewed with the thick, oppressive heat of summer. Rebecca wanted to release a sigh—a big, loud, heartfelt sigh.

She refrained.

Pete directed her across the empty street, steering her around the worst of the ruts and wheel tracks that were illuminated by the full moon floating in the cloudless sky.

With her senses heightened, Rebecca noticed every sound around her. Crickets clicked. Frogs croaked. A horse whinnied from somewhere nearby. And was that a coyote howl in the distance? A snake’s rattle off to her left?

Night on the prairie could be a scary proposition for anyone, especially a woman. Potential dangers lurked in every shadow. Aside from wild animals, there’d been Indian unrest in the territory recently. Now, with eight-year-old Mikey and his twin sister Missy still missing, the dangers seemed more real to Rebecca. Add Edward’s fight over her with the Tully brothers, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to walk the streets of High Plains alone without at least a small amount of fear nagging at her.

Yet walking next to Pete—her big, silent, handsome husband—she knew she was safe. Truly safe.

Perhaps for the first time in her life.

She wanted to raise her hands and shout for joy. But Pete
would probably think she’d gone mad. So she offered up a silent prayer of thanksgiving, instead.
Thank You, Lord. I trust marrying Pete was the right thing to do. I trust You will bring good out of this union.

Eventually.

Well, then. That last thought wasn’t one of a faithful Christian. But, glory.
Glory.
The silence between them was growing more awkward with each step.

Pete let go of her elbow, then linked his fingers through hers. The familiarity of holding hands with her new husband brought up a disturbing question.

Would their marriage be real? Or one in name only?

The fact that she didn’t know revealed how precarious the situation was between them. She was married to a stranger. Completely,
irrevocably,
married to him.

Pete came to a halt in front of the boardinghouse. Releasing her hand, he shifted until he stared directly into her eyes.

Rebecca swallowed.

“I figure you’ll want to organize your belongings before you move into my house.” He spoke with meticulous politeness. Did he really have to be that kind and considerate?

“Yes, I suppose I would,” she said. “But I should go to the livery and make sure Edward is comfortable first. He didn’t look well when he left the church ahead of us.”

“I’ll check on him before I turn in.”

She started to argue the point, then thought better of it. She’d fussed over Edward enough. If she pushed too much, he would shut her out just like their parents had.

“All right. I’ll let you check on him for me while I pack up my belongings.” Not that the process would take her much time. If pressed, she could pack every item she owned in less than an hour.

Pete must have known what little property she possessed. Of course he knew. But his words had alluded to something else entirely.
I’ll check on him before I turn in,
he’d said. Not
we,
but
I.
No matter how kind his tone sounded, he was excusing her for the rest of the night.
Their wedding night.

Her stomach felt as if a heavy lump of day-old bread had settled at the bottom. “Are you suggesting I stay at the boardinghouse this evening?” She needed to be sure.

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.” He was so detached, but then he surprised her by placing both hands on her shoulders and smiling kindly. Softly. “It’s for the best.”

Mesmerized by his deep voice, Rebecca found herself unable to respond.

“You can move into my house tomorrow,” he continued, his palms resting lightly on her shoulders. “Or the day after that. I’ll leave the timing up to you.”

His words were so civilized, so careful. An odd rush of disappointment made her breathing feel heavy against her ribs.

“Mrs. Jennings gave me most of tomorrow off,” she said in an unsteady voice. “I’ll serve breakfast as usual, then I’ll pack.”

Eyes still locked with hers, Pete let his hands drop. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is.” She shrugged, desperately hoping she pulled off the casual gesture. “I’ll see you later, then.”

“Rebecca. Wait.” He caught her hand as she tried to turn away. “We’ll talk tomorrow night.
Really
talk. We have much to discuss. It’ll go better after we’ve both had time to gather our thoughts.”

His voice sounded a little off, almost uncertain. She forced herself to look into his eyes and nearly gasped at
what she saw. There was something different in him. Something remarkably vulnerable.

He needs you, Rebecca, more than he can admit.

Yes. She saw the truth in his gaze. This strong, handsome man was lonely. He needed someone to love him. And she now had that privilege as his wife.

It took everything in her not to fling herself into his arms.

The thought should have scared her. After all, what did she really know about him? But there was no fear. No shame, either. During the ceremony Reverend Preston had said that God’s purpose for husband and wife, inside the holy sanctity of marriage, carried no disgrace.

Although this was no ordinary marriage, that did not mean it couldn’t be special. Unfortunately, Rebecca had no idea how to voice her hopes for their future. But she knew she had to try.

“Pete?” she began, and then clamped her lips shut. How did she broach the subject of intimacy between them with so much else left unsaid?

“I…that is…”

If only she could find it in herself to step toward him, just one, small step, then maybe—
maybe
—the next one would be a little easier.

But there’d been no talk of their life together, of children, of
anything
save the ceremony.

“Just so we understand each other.” She swallowed back a wave of trepidation. “I’d like to make our marriage…that is, I want…I want…”

She couldn’t make herself say the words. She
couldn’t.

Smiling kindly, Pete lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to her palm. “Tell me what you want, Rebecca. I’m listening.”

His lightly spoken words sent a shiver through her and she knew,
she knew,
she could have a real marriage with this man.

“I want…” She lost her nerve. There were just too many obstacles standing between them. “I
want
to keep my job at the boardinghouse.”

She was such a coward.

“I’d expected as much,” he said, a soft, understanding look flashing in his handsome face.

He stepped closer, pulling her against him in a relaxed hug. It was their first intimate contact as husband and wife.

Rebecca’s heart pounded so hard she thought it might stop on her. Before she blurted out too much, before she clung to him and begged him to take her home with him tonight, she stepped back.

“Good night, Pete. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She started to turn away, but in a burst of madness, she lifted on her toes and pressed her lips to his.

She felt his jerk, and then his arms lifted by her sides.

Shocked at her own impulsiveness, and at his seemingly pleased reaction, she twisted on her heel and rushed up the boardinghouse stairs as fast as her legs could carry her.

Holding back a sob, she yanked the door closed behind her, but not before she heard Pete whisper after her. “Good night, sweet Rebecca.”

All things considered, it wasn’t the worst start for their future. But it certainly wasn’t the best, either.

Early the following morning, Emmeline Logan charged into the boardinghouse kitchen. Her sister, Bess, followed closely behind.

“Is it true?” Emmeline demanded. “Did you marry Pete last night?”

Rebecca’s fingers tightened on the tray of biscuits she’d just retrieved from the oven. She had known the news of her nuptials would spread through town faster than yeast could leaven a lump of dough, but she hadn’t expected word to reach the ranch so quickly.

She’d only been married twelve hours. How could the gossip have stretched all the way to the Circle-L in that amount of time?

“Well?” Emmeline asked, a little less patiently than before. Which hadn’t been patient at all. “Did you marry him or not?”

Gathering her thoughts quickly, Rebecca set down the tray and then wiped her hands on her apron. “I did.” She turned to face her friend. “I married Pete last night.”

“But, Rebecca, you’re here this morning.” Emmeline’s eyebrows smashed together. “I don’t understand.”

Rebecca slipped her thumb across the ring on her left hand. She was still amazed the gold band was a perfect fit. “I slept in my own bed last night.”

“Oh. I’m…” Emmeline’s face filled with feminine understanding. “Sorry.”

“Me, too.” With nothing more to say, Rebecca turned back to her biscuits.

“Not so fast.” Emmeline jammed her hands on her hips and began an annoying toe-tapping routine. “What made you change your mind? I thought you were dead set against marrying him.”

Rebecca lifted a shoulder, determined to keep some things secret. But her thoughts went straight to Edward and his fight with the Tullys. Her brother had been defending her honor. As a result, he now had an injury that would keep him in bed for days. “I had my reasons,” she said with a sigh.

“I’m sure you did.” Emmeline’s lips twisted. “Was one of those reasons the Tully brothers?”

News of Edward’s fight had reached the Circle-L, as well? What else had been discussed at the Logans’ ranch? Rebecca closed her eyes a moment and waited until she was certain she could speak without her voice hitching.

“They beat Edward pretty badly,” she said at last, blinking rapidly but saying nothing more. Despite Emmeline’s kindness, Rebecca resolved to avoid discussing the situation any further. For Edward’s sake.

“Well, that certainly makes more sense. Though you should know, Will ordered the Tullys to leave town. They won’t be bothering Edward—or you, or anyone else—again. But, Rebecca—” Emmeline touched her hand “—it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, you marrying Pete, I mean.”

“No, I don’t suppose it does.” But she’d spent hours staring at her ceiling last night, feeling more alone than ever, wondering if she’d done the right thing by marrying Pete.

Would she find herself lonely in his house, as lonely as she’d been in her childhood home?

Oh, please, Lord, not that.

After a moment of silence between them, Emmeline sighed. “Well, anyway, I brought someone to see you.” She shifted until she was able to wrap her arm tightly through her sister’s.

The girl had been so silent that Rebecca had nearly forgotten she was in the kitchen with them.

Trying to make up for the unintentional slight, she smiled broadly. “Hello, Bess.”

Bess nodded a greeting but didn’t make any attempt to speak.

Rebecca’s heart twisted for the poor girl.

According to Emmeline, Doc Dempsey had diagnosed Bess’s condition as female hysteria. Rebecca had no idea what that meant, but it didn’t sound good. Nor did it sound accurate. Bess was not hysterical, not if the English word meant what she thought. Quite the opposite. The girl was actually serene, oddly so.

And astonishingly pretty. Small like Emmeline, Bess had the same arresting blue eyes. But where Emmeline was dark-haired, Bess was blond. Yet as pretty as she was, as sweet as she seemed to be, the fifteen-year-old hadn’t spoken a word in a month and only barely interacted with those around her. She didn’t laugh. She didn’t smile. She didn’t even cry. Something had obviously traumatized the girl.

She needed a distraction. Rebecca hoped she could provide one.

With quick movements, she placed steaming biscuits into two baskets. “Let me deliver these to the dining room and then I’ll show Bess around.”

As she hurried out of the kitchen, Rebecca prayed for wisdom. Helping Bess find her voice was far beyond her abilities. But nothing was impossible with Christ.

Returning to the kitchen, she stopped next to Bess. The girl had lowered herself in a chair against the wall. “All right, then.” Rebecca looked down and spread a genuine smile across her lips. “Are you ready to get started?”

The girl nodded, but just as quickly her eyes turned cautious.

Emmeline rushed to her side. “Bess.” She brushed her fingers across her sister’s cheek. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Bess let Emmeline stroke her cheeks for only a moment before she ducked out of reach.

Undaunted, Emmeline proceeded to pet the girl’s long blond hair with slow, gentle movements.

Bess shifted away.

Setting a determined look on her face, Emmeline lifted her hand again. Bess twisted away from her—again.