Heart Tamer (7 page)

Alec had agreed to give them a second chance last night. Had he only done it to have sex with her?
No!
She refused to believe he had lied to her, not after the beautiful night they’d spent. He would never be that cruel. Alec might be hot-headed and stubborn, but he was noble. Maybe he had panicked at the commitment they’d made and decided to cut out before she got more attached to the idea of having a baby. As much as it made her heart squeeze and her stomach tighten, she had to trust him. She didn’t want to go back to her usual pattern of self-denial for self-preservation.

After she went through security a thought occurred to her. Maybe there was still hope…maybe, just maybe he’d show up at the airport like one of those romantic comedy heroes who raced against the clock to stop his girlfriend from leaving at the airport. And then in front of everyone, he’d loudly proclaim his love by proposing to her on his knees.

Fat chance.
She was being naïve and silly hoping for that scenario. But she couldn’t help wishing that she’d look up and find Alec coming toward her with love all over his rugged face.
Katie, you’re not leaving here. You’re mine. You will always be mine.
What she’d give to hear him say that! She scanned the terminal again, hoping she’d spot him. She squinted, looking right and left, over her shoulder, but came up empty. She was trying to hold onto the hope that he’d make it in time so they could say good-bye in person.

Yesterday, he’d told her he wasn’t planning on getting married and she’d replied she wasn’t asking him to.
What a hypocrite
. The moment she saw him standing at the entrance of the church, Kate regretted their divorce more than anything in the world. Then when he made love to her so passionately, so fiercely, she vowed never to be separated from him again. She relived the tenderness of his kisses, the way he’d looked at her as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world.

Her heart melted remembering his words.
Ah, Katie, beautiful Katie. I’ve loved you since the day I saw you in that English pub, dressing down the bartender for being rude to a handicapped client. I should have come back to you after we divorced, but my stubborn pride held me back. I don’t ever want to lose you.

She knew Alec would come. He had to. After the kind of night they’d spent and the beautiful things he’d said to her, there was no way he’d let her leave without saying good-bye. It was a two hour wait before the flight, ample time for Alec to make it.

Two hours later, Kate stood at the gate alone with a lump in her throat. She had finally stopped looking over her shoulder. Her heart sank even lower as she removed her earrings and put them in her handbag. Alec wasn’t going to show up. The reality hit her full-force.

Don’t cry
.
Not one tear or you won’t be able to stop the meltdown.
She fought back her tears and forced herself into the plane.

Kate downed the last of her lemongrass green tea and rinsed her cup before joining Evie at the front parlor of their bridal boutique. “Where’s the shipment of ring pillows we ordered?”

“It’s right there, next to the display case. I haven’t gotten a chance to put them away yet,” Evie said, looking up from her computer.

“I’ll do it.”

Evie took off her hipster glasses and studied her. “Are you finally going to tell me what happened?”

“No.”

“Come on, Kate. I’m worried about you.” Evie’s dark blue eyes looked exasperated as she ran a hand through her jet black pixie length hair.

“Don’t be.” Kate trudged to the cardboard box on the floor. “I’ll survive.”

“Maybe. But it’s been two weeks since you came back and you haven’t told me anything about your trip, other than the bride looked beautiful.” She paused. “I know something is eating at you. You look absolutely miserable.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Kate said tightly as she took the tiny pillows out of the box. If she opened up, she’d start bawling. She hadn’t heard from Alec. Not one peep. She still couldn’t wrap her head around it. How could he disappear like that? 
Without a trace.
Part of her was petrified that something terrible had happened to him. The other part wanted to murder him for breaking her heart again.

“You can’t keep everything bottled up like that. It’s not good for you.”

“Quit nagging, Evie! I said I don’t want to talk about it.” Kate stacked the pillows side by side and punched each one in the middle.

“Hey, don’t bite my head off and please don’t gut the pillows. Is Mercury in retrograde? Are you PMSing or something? This isn’t like you.”

Kate whirled around. “You really want to know what’s wrong?”

Evie nodded vigorously. “Yes. Please!”

Kate stalked to the antique ivory and gold desk and plopped down in the armchair in front of it. She took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. “Fine. I’ll tell you. I went to Scotland, reunited with my ex-husband, made love all night and then he disappeared. End of story.” Hot tears formed at the back of her eyes. She blinked rapidly not to let them escape.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.” Evie’s multi-ringed hand rested over Kate’s and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Don’t be. I should have known better. I’m an idiot,” Kate said, dashing a tear. Her throat was thick with grief.

“No you’re not. You’re the smartest person I know,” Evie said indignantly. “What happened?”

Might as well come clean. The burden of her pain might eased by sharing it with Evie. She loved Evie like a sister. Maybe she could help her figure out what to do next. Kate shook her head mournfully. “This is going to sound weird.”

“Not from you, it won’t,” Evie said supportively.

“Okay, here goes. I know you won’t judge,” she said with a sigh. “I promised myself I’d stay strong when I saw Alec. I only wanted one thing from him. A baby.”

Evie’s eyes shot open and her mouth dropped. “A baby? I had no idea.
Wow
,” she breathed. “With all the men you could have chosen, why on earth would you pick your ex? I thought your marriage ended badly...so badly that you hadn't seen or talked to him since. And you always said it was mutual...that he didn't want anything to do with you. It was very brave of you to reach out to him, Kate.” She stared at her in awe. “He could have turned you down flat.”

“Not brave. A fool for love. I desperately wanted to have a baby. Alec’s baby.” She paused. “And he did turn me down...at first.”

Wide-eyed, Evie nodded and remained silent.

Kate lifted one shoulder in a self-conscious shrug. “I only asked for his sperm donation. When he balked, I said I’d go to a sperm bank. Being the way he is, he’d have none of that and seduced me. I lost my head again. I have no control when it comes to him.”

Evie regarded her with sympathy as she smiled gently. “Don’t beat yourself up, Kate. I know exactly how you feel. That’s how it was with Michael…until he passed. I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone as amazing as my late husband.”

Kate shot up from the chair and hugged her. “Oh, Evie. I’m so sorry. I know how much you miss Michael.” Evie was so beautiful with her shiny dark hair and pink-cheeked, porcelain complexion. She was even more beautiful inside and it pained Kate that she worried she’d never find someone to love again.

Evie’s wide blue eyes welled up with tears. She brushed them away with a sheepish smile. “It’s been seven years, but I think of Michael every day… and night. I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing him.”

Evie’s grief was so palpable, Kate stopped feeling sorry for herself and straightened up. “I’ll help you find happiness again,” she said, hoping with all her heart she was right. “We will both start over. We can’t end up like the Golden Girls.” She forced a smile to cheer her up.

Evie gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Don't even think that. I just had a vision of us, old and gray, in our flannel nightgowns watching T.V.” She got up and grabbed her oversized python leather tote. “Let’s get out of here. No more feeling sorry for ourselves. Come to my place. I’ll cook dinner for us.”

“Pasta?” Kate asked eagerly. Evie was part Italian on her dad’s side and her pasta dishes were delicious.

“Yep. I’ll cook us up so much comfort food you won’t be able to move,” Evie said, snickering.

“I don’t doubt it. I love your cooking,” Kate said. "Go on without me. There’s something I must do first. I'll join you soon."

"Ok, but don't take too long. I'm starving," Evie said before she walked out the door.

Once Evie had gone, Kate opened her tote bag and pulled out a plastic bag. Her heart was beating so fast it felt like palpitations. She had been postponing this all day...too scared to find out. But now that she had gathered the courage, she couldn't wait another minute. She had to know...one way or the other. On shaky legs and with her heart in her throat, she walked toward the bathroom.

Moments later, Kate stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at her pale, incredulous face. Lightheaded, she clutched the pregnancy test with a trembling hand and swallowed hard to stifle the giddy gasp rising from her chest.

She kissed her hand and placed it over her tummy. “Welcome baby MacLeod,” she whispered. “I love you already.”

Kate entered her bridal boutique with a bounce to her step and a purpose in her life. She’d spent the past two days fluctuating between panicking over whether she was fit to be a single mother, agonizing over Alec’s whereabouts and sheer joy that she was going to have a baby. After much reflection and hours of talking with Evie, she decided all that worrying was bad for the baby.

It was time to
suck it up, buttercup
. Life wasn’t about her anymore. By next time this year, she would be holding her baby in her arms. The thought sent shivers of delight and anxiety racing through her. What would her pregnancy be like? Would she be able to carry full-term? She was determined to eat healthy, sleep as much as possible and stay away from stress.

“Hey hot momma,” Evie teased the moment she saw Kate. “How was last night?”

Kate smiled. “Better. Much better. Thanks for the ear.” 

“Anytime. Just remember I am your baby’s favorite auntie. I’ll be your birthing coach too, if you want me to. Breathe in, breathe out, relax,” she said dramatically, her eyes twinkling merrily.

“You would be my birthing coach? Thank you!” Kate hugged Evie, silently vowing to bring her happiness too. Her new mission would be to find someone for Evie. “Would you be the godmother too?”

Evie’s face lit up brighter than the chandelier above. “Absolutely. I’m honored you chose me.”

“I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to raise my baby if I were gone,” Kate said honestly.

“Thanks, but please don’t think like that.”

“I have to think of those things as a single mom,” Kate said earnestly.

“I hear you. Always the practical one,” she said with a smile. “We have a new client coming in soon. Good thing you came in early.”

An hour later, Evie entered the small kitchen while Kate was having a mid-morning strawberry, banana and yogurt smoothie. “Kate, the client is here.”

“Oh, okay.” Kate took a final sip of her smoothie and smoothed the sides of her dress as she walked toward the front of the salon.

The moment she saw him, Kate’s heart stood still and blood drained from her face. The last person in the world she expected to see at the entrance of her bridal boutique was Alec. Yet there he was in flesh and blood, staring at her with a remorseful expression. A wave of dizziness made Kate clutch the display case beside her.

“Katie. Sweetheart,” Alec said, walking toward her with outstretched arms.

“Stay away,” Kate blurted out, grabbing the closest thing to her. A crystal and pearl tiara. She brandished it in the air. “I’m not afraid to use this and I will, MacLeod. To bash your thoughtless, despicable, inconsiderate, selfish…” She furiously searched for more words as he stealthily approached her. But she came up empty. She was so shocked—and profoundly relieved to see him—she couldn’t get past the last word.

Evie jumped up from her chair and managed to topple the stack of bridal albums on the antique desk. They landed in a heap at Alec’s feet. “Wait a minute. You’re Alec MacLeod?
The
Alec MacLeod?” Evie ran her fingers through her short hair until it stood out in spikes, creating a Statue of Liberty type crown. 

“Aye.” Not taking his eyes off Kate, Alec continued to head toward her.

Evie grabbed her tote bag and headed out the door. “I’ll give you two some privacy. Call me later, Kate.”

By the time Alec reached Kate’s side, she was beside herself. She took several steadying breaths and forced air into her constricting lungs.

“What are you doing here?” she finally said, filled with despair over her heart’s treacherous reaction. She was so thankful he was alive, she could barely hold onto her anger over his disappearance.

“I came to apologize.”

“Two weeks later?” she asked incredulously. Feelings of betrayal and distrust reared up inside her as she trembled. “Are you freaking kidding me? You expect me to welcome you with open arms? I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”

He made a helpless gesture with his hand. “I’m sorry, Katie.”

“Ha!” she said, infusing it with as much scorn as she could muster.

“Really, I am sorry. I was on a covert mission.”

The cords in Kate’s neck felt swollen as she tried to get a grip. “And you couldn’t call me or even send a message to let me know you were alive?”

“Not bloody likely. On a mission, there’s no contact with anyone until it’s over.” His face strained, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “When you hear what I have to say, you’ll change your mind.”

“I doubt it. I thought you were either dead or ditched me after the night we spent.”

A muscle in his jaw clenched. “I never ditched you.”

“Yes, you did! I couldn’t even call Eileen to find out if you were okay. She was on her honeymoon with her
considerate
husband while I was agonizing over your safety.
Damn you,
” she said, fighting tears.