Heart Tamer (6 page)

He nodded.

“I don’t want to be apart again,” Kate said, her voice breaking as tears slid down her cheeks. “I hate that I have to leave tomorrow.”

When they reached the bed, he gently disengaged and sat her on the bed. “Why do you have to leave so soon?”

Kate turned down the sheets and welcomed him in beside her. “My partner Evie is taking vacation, and before she leaves we have to complete a high-profile bridal order. I can’t divulge who the client is. Let’s just say she’s an A list movie star.”

Alec chuckled. “An A lister movie star, eh? Good for you.”

“It’s good for business,” Kate said. “But I just wish I could stay longer…with you.”

“Me too. But don’t worry. I’ll come to you,” he said, smoothing her hair back.

Her heart soared with hope. “When can you come?” she said quickly.

“I’m not sure. I’ll try to make it soon, but I can’t say when just yet.” He kissed the dampness from her cheeks. “No more tears now. We can’t have you starting the New Year crying.”

“They’re happy tears,” she said dreamily.

Later that night they made love again, savoring the mutual pleasuring at a slower pace. Afterward, Kate lay beside Alec with her face nestled in the crook of his neck, relishing the afterglow. His arm was draped over her waist as his hand leisurely stroked her hip.

Kate traced a heart on Alec’s chest. “I’m so relieved,” she said softly.

“Why?”

“I never thought I’d feel this way again. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. After you left, I never felt like this toward anyone. I have only loved you,” she said sincerely.

Alec hugged her tightly. “Ah, Katie, beautiful Katie. I’ve loved you since the day I saw you in that English pub, dressing down the bartender for being rude to a handicapped client. I love the grit you’re made of.”  His warm hand gently massaged her back, strong and proprietary. “Underneath your soft skin is an iron will. I admire the woman you’ve become, the way you selflessly raised your brothers into fine men.”

“Thank you, but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to be strong all the time.” She closed her eyes, remembering the happiest moment in her life. When she and Alec eloped. “The first time I ever felt free was when we got married. By then the boys were grown and fending for themselves…and they loved you. You were a good role model. Someone to look up to.”

“I always felt bad about how they were affected by our divorce. I wanted to keep in touch, but you refused to let me.”

Kate tilted her head to look up at him. “A clean break was better. I was too scared that you’d disappear from their lives too. I was protecting them.”

“A mother lioness. Someday you’re going to make an amazing mother,” he said, kissing her forehead.

“I hope so. I really do,” she said, touched to the core of her soul. She gazed at his strong profile, loving the way he looked after their lovemaking—relaxed and content. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek. “Alec?”

“Aye?” He peered at her from beneath thick, sable lashes.

“I don’t want to keep anything from you. We should be honest with each other, right?”

He turned on his side to face her. “What’s this about, Katie?”

“There’s something important I need to tell you.” She struggled to find the right words as the sad memory filled her heart. “Years ago, I had a miscarriage. It was your baby.”

“When?”

“I found out I was pregnant after our divorce and a month later I miscarried.”

His eyes glowed in the dim light coming in from the window. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You had already disappeared.”

One dark brow rose. “You could have reached me through Eileen. I would have come back to you.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t.  I wanted you to come back because you loved me, not because of a sense of duty. Or because you felt sorry for me.”

He gave the barest sigh, but it spoke volumes. “You still should have told me, Katie,” he said, his voice laced with reproach.

“Don’t you understand how much I was hurting? It was bad enough I lost you, but I lost our baby too!”

Alec nodded and after a pause, let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry you had to cope with the miscarriage alone. And all because of my stupid, stubborn pride.  I should have come back to you after we divorced and tried to make it work.” He tilted her face up and kissed her tenderly. “I love you.”

He still loved her.
Thank God.
Kate gazed at him, her heart filled with wonder.  “You won’t ever lose me,” she vowed. “I’m yours. Forever.”

They talked for hours into the early morning about a lot of things, sharing past disappointments and commiserating over lost time together. It hadn’t been all serious. They’d laughed too. Alec enjoyed teasing her and making her giggle. And she loved teasing him back.

They never discussed the details on how they’d begin their second chance at love. But sometime during that long, passionate night, the fight that had ignited their fierce coupling transformed into tender passion and mutual respect as they came full circle. 

Kate woke up feeling disoriented. Her mouth was parched and her stomach a bit woozy, even though she was hungry for breakfast. For a moment, she didn’t know where she was as she tried to focus in the dark room. She turned on her side and stared at the large windows. The massive drapes were drawn, blackening the room. A glance at her smartphone on the nightstand told her it was 9:00 am. She had spent most of the night in Alec’s arms, she recalled with a satiated smile.

She was lying on the softest sheets she’d ever slept on, in a big, comfy bed and her mind was inundated with the most delicious, sensual memories—ones that would last a lifetime. But at the moment, she was alone and the most important person in her life was missing—Alec.

Kate groped the area beside her on the bed even though she knew Alec wasn’t there. She would have felt his large presence if he had. Something was off.  She sat up and winced at the ache in her temples. She shouldn’t have knocked back those two whiskeys last night.
Bad move.
Now she was in for a bitch of a headache. Her stomach didn’t feel that great either. A hot cup of strong Earl Grey tea was exactly what she needed to revive herself.

She pulled on the robe and padded to the bathroom on bare feet, hoping Alec might be there. Kate knocked on the door and called out Alec’s name a few times. When he didn’t answer, she opened the door and was surprised to find he’d already showered and had used his shaving kit. 

She went back into the room and switched on the lights. After a quick search, she saw Alec’s formalwear hanging in the closet. His suitcase was there too.

Where was he?

Alec briskly strolled through the streets of Edinburgh, welcoming the cold morning air that assailed his face. For the most part, the streets were cleaned up after the revelry of Hogmanay. It was a gray morning with no sun in sight, but Alec didn’t mind. He was used to inclement winter weather. He would have walked in rain or snow. There was no better place than outdoors to pull his thoughts together. He needed time alone to mentally digest everything and clear the sensual fog of his night with Katie. He had never felt so connected to anyone.

The moment he made love to her, Alec knew he loved Katie as much he had before—perhaps more. He felt humbled by her honesty, the way she’d bared her soul to him.
I never thought I’d feel this way again. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. After you left, I never felt like this toward anyone. I have only loved you.

During their heartfelt conversations, he understood better her need to be in control. It was self-preservation more than anything. Katie was feisty and strong-willed, qualities he wouldn’t change for the world. She’d always owned his heart and thinking about her now made him want her even more.

The moment he’d seen her at the church the reality hit him full force. He’d missed Katie much more than he was willing to admit. She had his heart, had always had his heart, even from the moment he met her in a pub. She’d been so busy reproaching the rude bartender, she hadn’t noticed Alec until he handed her a mug of ale. He’d been a damned idiot to leave her. They could have worked something out, but he’d been too hot-headed.

The confounding reality was that it might not be only about him and Kate. There was a possibility of a bairn. His bairn. The thought terrified him and thrilled him at once. It would bring an immediate change to his lifestyle. At thirty-eight, he had everything in the world he could ask for but one thing—love. All that would change now. Reuniting with Katie was the first step.

If they’d made a bairn last night, great. If not, he’d always have Katie. All night they’d had steamy, unprotected sex that had been amazing. But what had drawn him to her was the intimate conversation that followed. The emotional closeness with Katie had been a balm, healing the past sorrows of the year and giving him newfound hope. Maybe, just maybe they could make things work this time. If last night was any indication, he was willing to try.

He’d been surprised when she had told him she was ovulating, but that according to her doctor she might have trouble conceiving.
That’s why I wanted you to donate sperm. For more chances
, she’d said.

Alec had told her in no uncertain terms that if she wanted more chances, he would provide them—in person. She’d laughed at that and agreed wholeheartedly. Thank God she’d come to him and not a fertility clinic. The minute she’d flung it in his face, he knew he was a goner. There was no way he’d allow her to carry any man’s bairn but his. Having kids wasn’t part of his plan. He was stunned at the confidence he’d felt when he made the decision to give Katie what she wanted. He’d known then as he did now, it was the right thing—for them.

Alec had been living autonomously for a long time and he’d enjoyed the liberty to come and go without strings. Just before the wedding he’d decided to go back into active duty doing investigations and covert operations. He’d been out of the field for a while, but after he’d caught the mob members threatening the Broadway star, Natasha White, he’d gotten a strong rush of adrenaline—the kind that made him forget everything, and he’d needed it badly. Still reeling from his parents’ death and his beloved granny’s passing all in one year, he had wanted to escape his melancholy by jumping back in the saddle.

For the past five years, he had been working at the helm of his personal security company and not in the trenches, building his company into a highly lucrative business. He hadn’t told Kate that he’d be gone on the next mission starting today. Last night had been just for them. To reconnect and catch up; to make up for all lost time by making love all night. He hadn’t brought it up because he knew she would instantly recoil at the possibility of him being in danger.

I don’t want to keep anything from you. We should be honest with each other, right?
The reality of Kate’s words slapped him in the face. Bloody hell, he would have never signed up if he’d known they were getting back together. Now that he’d have someone to come home to and that there was a possibility of a bairn, he needed to rethink the missions.

But first he needed to come clean with Katie. He owed her that much. He smiled to himself as a plan developed. First he’d stop at Jasper’s and pick up Katie’s favorite scones, almond blackberry. He would order a special breakfast and by the time he got back to the hotel, it would be there waiting for them. Then he’d break the news…gently.

He could just imagine her in bed waiting for him, all creamy curves and fragrant skin, with her tousled golden brown hair spread on the pillows. He got a tantalizing vision of round, pale breasts with petal pink tips, of curved hips and supple thighs. He grew instantly hard. She’d been so delicious last night, so uninhibited. To hell with breakfast. He’d rather devour Katie, he thought grinning with anticipation. 

Alec glanced at his watch. 9:30 a.m. By now she would be awake. Damn, he hadn’t thought of getting her cell number to let her know he’d be back soon. He should have left a note.  He dialed the hotel and asked to be connected to his suite.

The phone rang at least twenty times before it went back to the front desk clerk.

“Please try again,” Alec told him.

“Do you want to be connected to voice mail if there’s no answer?” the clerk asked.

“No thanks.”

Alec impatiently listened as the phone rang a long time. Where the bloody hell was Katie? He hoped she wasn’t in the shower. Well…if she was, he’d just have to kiss the droplets of water off her fragrant body.

He punched redial. “Please connect me with my suite again,” Alec told the clerk.

The phone rang and rang, but still no answer. Why wasn’t Katie answering?

Kate never thought she’d be doing the walk of shame in a wrinkled, jade satin gown. But there she was stuck in an elevator with a family of four—a tall, skinny man hiding a smile, his short, stout wife bristling with indignation and two teenage girls gawking at her. Kate stood rigid with embarrassment as she stared fixedly at the elevator buttons.

The moment the elevator doors opened on her floor, she bolted out and ran down the hall to her room. She took a quick shower and then got ready for her trip. It didn’t take long to pack her gown in the suitcase. Since she knew she’d be flying out today, she had tidied up her room and pre-packed everything before going to the wedding.  She changed into a soft black cashmere sweater and black skinny jeans and slipped on the dangling silver and amethyst teardrop earrings Alec had surprised her with many years ago.

She scribbled a note with all her contact information. She put on red lipstick and kissed the bottom of the card before slipping it back in the envelope. She left it with the front desk clerk for Alec. Once Alec read it, he’d get the message.

During the taxi ride to the airport, Kate opened the window and gulped in mouthfuls of cold, damp air. The shock of frigid air bolstered her and she didn’t feel so anxious…just sad and letdown. She had hoped to say good-by to Alec, and the fact that he’d left her alone to go God knows where made her more than a little nervous.