Heart (6 page)

“Only they know. But whatever it is… it’s
vile. You must understand that.”

I shivered in the warm air. “I have no
doubt.” We stood there silently for another moment, both of us lost
in our thoughts. I finally asked her the one question I needed to
know more than any other and the one I knew she had been avoiding.
“Thalia, why does Nix want me so badly? What am I to him? I know
I’m missing something. If I’m going to get Sloane back, I have to
know what it is.”

“Using my child against me,” she scolded. “I
suppose you think that’s going to work.”

“I do. It will.”

“I know you want an exact answer from me, but
I can’t give it to you. All I can tell you is that you have
something to do with his weapon.”

“The weapon he’s going to use to wipe out the
Pantheon and potentially invade the world?”

“The very one,” she smiled grimly at me. “I
don’t know why or how or in what way, but I do know that. Evaleen
overheard a conversation between Hades and Ares. They were
discussing you, saying how they believed Nix now, how they had no
choice but to get in line or go back into hiding.”

The streetlights flickered on behind me and
made me jump. I hadn’t realized how dark it had gotten. I didn’t
have any plans for the night and I needed to find a safe place to
stay or get back on a plane and get the hell out of here.

“Come inside, Ivy,” Thalia coaxed. “I’ll find
you something to eat. Do you have a place to stay? You can stay
here if you need to. It would be nice to have some company for a
change.”

Her sudden hospitality sent alarm bells
ringing through my head. “No, thank you. I, uh, I have some other
things to look into.”

Anger turned her expression from friendly to
sour in a split second. I jumped back, surprised by how frightening
she looked. She cleared her throat and smoothed down her black
pencil skirt, seeming to get a better hold of herself.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’ve been a mess
for months now.”

I took a few steps back, “I understand.”

“I want you to find Sloane,” she told me
sincerely.

“I’m going to.” There was no hint of
confusion or doubt in my voice. I would find Sloane. And Exie. I
would find them and bring them back home.

No, scratch that. I would find them and take
them somewhere safer than home… somewhere this ugly world would
never touch us again.

“Ivy?” she called to me. “I’m going to call
him.”

“What?” The word grated against my raw
throat.

“Nix. I have to. If he found out I’ve seen
you and didn’t tell him, he would take my head.”

“But I’m getting Sloane back! I’m not lying!
Thalia, listen to me. I will get her back. I
will!
”

She nodded as if she accepted my argument. “I
know you will. That’s why I’m telling you. That’s why I’m giving
you a head start.”

“You’re crazy!” I shouted at her as I picked
up my pace.

As I raced through the neighborhood,
desperate to get away from her, I could have sworn I heard her say,
“I know.”

Chapter Five

I called another cab. I didn’t know where
else to go.

I needed to see if Smith was home, but I
didn’t think I should go tonight. I had tried calling him again
while I waited for the cab, but he still hadn’t picked up. I was
getting more and more nervous.

Hermes was on the tip of my tongue, but I
felt like there was more to find out in Omaha first. I wanted to
know as much about this impending war as I could.

I also wanted to know as much about both
factions as I could.

Hermes seemed like the lesser evil when
compared with Nix, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still evil.

I nearly had the cab drop me off at my old
apartment. I didn’t know what Ava had done with it, but I realized
that even if she still owned it, I didn’t have keys.

When I gave the driver directions, I
surprised myself.

Light filtered out of Phoenix’s house,
spilling onto the darkened flower beds. I could see his family
moving around inside. The blinds hadn’t been closed yet and
Phoenix’s parents and siblings were sprawled out on the couches
watching something on TV.

It wasn’t until I was walking up to the front
door that I realized Phoenix might not have made it home from the
Slowdown yet. And what if he hated me as much as Ryder?

Would he turn me away?

I knocked on the doorway feeling more
anxiety. I wouldn’t have been surprised if this day had turned my
hair gray. The last few hours had been one horrible thing after
another.

If Phoenix was mean to me that might be the
final straw on my sanity.

I rang the doorbell and then heard a stampede
of feet as his younger siblings raced for the door. I knew he had
twin sisters, but it wasn’t until they wrenched the door open and
stared at me that I realized how twin-ish they were.

Clones of each other basically.

They had rich brown hair like Phoenix, only
it fell to their middle back and looked like there were random
dreads here and there. It was a very cool look, but surprising on
girls as young as them. Then I remembered his hippie parents and
maybe it wasn’t so surprising.

“Is, uh, Phoenix here?” I asked them.

They shared a conspiratorial look with each
other, turned to face the staircase and shouted, “Phoenix!” at the
same time. When he didn’t answer immediately, they shouted his name
again.

“Girls!” Their mother laughed from the couch.
“Go get him! He probably has his music on.”

She pulled herself up from the couch and
ambled over to me. Her long hair matched her daughters, only it was
completely dreaded and woven with long ribbons and beads. Her face
was completely bare of makeup, but she looked younger that way.

“Hey, honey,” she grinned at me. “You’re a
friend of Phoenix?”

“I am,” I smiled at her. “We went to school
together.”

“Come on in, he just got home.” She opened
the screen door and I stepped inside. Phoenix’s dad waved at me
from the couch. A little boy, that could only be Buzzard, was
tucked into his side.

Before I could introduce myself further,
Phoenix bounded down the stairs as loudly as humanly possible. He
stopped halfway, put his hands on either side of the banister and
jumped down the rest of the steps.

I braced myself just in time for him to crash
into me. He threw his arms around me and picked me up in a tight
bear hug.

“The Ginga Ninja!” he shouted in my ear.

“Hey, kid,” I murmured against his chest.
“How ya been?”

He pulled back and looked down at me. His
intelligent eyes moved over my face and down my body. I watched him
pass approval over me, as if he expected a drug problem or some
kind of physical deformity.

His eyes melted into compassion and his voice
gentled when he said, “I’m good, Ives. You okay?”

“Can we talk actually?”

“Of course.” He didn’t hesitate; he turned me
around by the shoulders and pushed me up the stairs. To his parents
he said, “I’m taking a girl to my room. Nobody bother me.”

“Be safe!” yelled his father.

“Use a condom!” shouted his mother.

I felt my face flame with embarrassment. I
shot a look at Phoenix over my shoulder and he rolled his eyes.

“I told you,” he mumbled. “At least they
didn’t offer you a hit off their community bong.”

I laughed and it turned into something more.
I reached the top of the steps and had to brace myself against the
wall because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t make a sound or
catch my breath.

It felt so good. I couldn’t remember the last
time I had laughed like this or let myself find something funny. I
had been melancholy and depressed for as long as I had been alive,
but
this
was something to laugh at.

The feeling bubbled through me and consumed
my body whole. Phoenix continued to guide me to his room where I
collapsed on the edge of his bed and wiped away tears.

“It’s not that funny!” he chided on a
grin.

“It’s super funny,” I argued.

It took me another minute to get myself under
control. Phoenix sunk down next to me and rested his elbows on his
lanky knees. He looked just like I remembered him plus a few days
of stubble.

“What happened to you, Ivy?” He’d lost all of
the good humor from a few minutes ago. I hated the notes of sadness
in his voice… the tone of betrayal. I hadn’t even said goodbye to
Phoenix last fall.

“I’m in trouble,” I said honestly. “I need a
place to crash for the night. I was hoping you wouldn’t turn me
away?”

“Of course you can stay here. That’s never a
question. But I want to know what happened. Where did you go? Where
have you been? Why did you take my bro’s heart and toss it into a
blender? You murdered his soul, Ivy. I need some kind of
explanation.”

“Geez, Phoenix.” I rubbed my sweaty palms on
the maxi skirt I’d been wearing for way too long. Sitting on this
bed and not feeling the constant surge of anxiety I’d suffered from
for the last forty-eight hours, I suddenly realized how tired I
was. The plane here had been long and exhausting and ever since my
feet landed on Nebraska soil again, there had been one thing after
another.

I needed sleep.

But I also owed Phoenix at least part of an
explanation. I couldn’t tell him everything, but I could give him
enough answers to ease his curiosity.

“I come from a really bad home,” I started on
a sigh. “Like really bad, Phoenix. Like nothing you’ve ever heard
of before.”

“You were abused?” He snapped upright, his
fists clenched on his thighs.

“Yes.” The word fell from my mouth as a heavy
rock, landing in the space between us. I wanted to take it back,
swallow it down and bury it forever. That was hard for me to admit
to someone else, to someone like Phoenix, who complained about his
own home life, but who also had it pretty good in comparison. “I
was abused.”

“How, Ivy? Physically? Verbally?
Emotionally…?” His voice trailed off and I heard his final question
left unspoken:
Sexually?

“Yes,” I answered. “All of those.”

He grimaced, a fierce sound scraping from his
chest. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I did,” I whispered. “I told Ryder.”

He was quiet for a few moments until he said,
“That explains a lot actually.”

“Yeah, well, I had an opportunity to get out,
to escape and I took it. I know I left Ryder behind. I know I
destroyed whatever was between us. But I had to get out, Phoenix. I
had to leave. I could not stay when there was a chance the life I
lived was going to kill me.” I thought about that for a second and
then clarified, “No, not a chance. I
knew
the life I lived
was going to kill me. Without a doubt.”

“You’re making it very difficult for me to
take Ryder’s side, Ives. You should have said something sooner. We
would have helped you. Hell, my parents would have let you move in
with us.”

I shook my head to let him know that it was
impossible, but his words sunk into me with a sweetness I wasn’t
used to. “My family would have never let me leave. They would have
come for me. When I say I escaped, I mean, I left the country. I
got as far away from this place as I could.”

“Wow,” he whistled. “You’re not kidding?”

“I’m not kidding.”

He pressed his hands together and dropped
them between his knees. His shoulders slumped with a defeat I knew
was born from his genuine spirit. He just now realized how helpless
I truly was and how helpless he was to save me.

“So Ryder?” He pressed. Apparently he wasn’t
going to let me get away with any secrets. “He was in his accident
the same night you left. Was that uh... connected?”

In a small voice, I admitted, “My godfather
did that to him.”

Phoenix’s eyes widened and his mouth opened
and closed, but he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“I know,” I whispered. “I was protecting him,
Phoenix. I know he won’t ever look at it like that, but I was. I… I
couldn’t imagine anything worse happening to him.”

Phoenix shook his head, visibly trying to
gather his thoughts. “I don’t think that’s what he wanted, Ivy.
Ryder didn’t seem… scared.”

The lingering accusation filtered through the
room. It hurt. It hurt me more than my self-deprecating thoughts
ever had. I didn’t want Phoenix to say so easily what I had known
for so long.

“Can we not talk about him right now?” I
whispered. “I heard the song. I get it.”

Phoenix pressed his lips together and nodded
his head, an outward sign that he would leave Ryder out of
this.

“So why’d you come back? Is it safe now?”

I had been asking myself that same question
all night. “No. It’s probably worse.”

“Then why are you here, Ivy? I’m worried
about you.”

“I heard that Ryder was in trouble,” I
admitted. “I heard that Exie and Sloane might be in trouble too. I
told you my family was bad news. They are. I wouldn’t be surprised
if they went after everyone who knows me just to get to me.”

“Ryder’s fine,” he answered immediately.
“We’ve been playing a lot of shows lately. We’re in a summer soccer
league. As far as I know, he’s fine.”

I breathed out and some of the aching around
my heart dissipated. At least there was that.

“What about Ex? Have you talked to her
lately?” I knew he hadn’t before he said anything. After what
Thalia had told me, I was pretty sure she’d disappeared in the
thick of the night.

But I wanted to hear what Phoenix had to say
about it, just in case there were pieces he’d picked up that Thalia
hadn’t bothered to share.

Since, you know, she was a back-stabbing,
horrible witch that had probably already put in the call to
Nix.

Phoenix’s shoulders slumped. He stared at his
hands as he answered, “I haven’t heard from her in almost as long
as I haven’t heard from you. She, uh, moved or something. At least
that was what her last text said. She moved out of state.”