Healing Gabe (Last Hangman MC Book 3) (9 page)

CHAPTER 10

Gabe

I wake up with a smile on my face, it’s an odd feeling, I haven’t woken up smiling in such a long fucking time.

I kiss the top of Viv’s head who’s still fast asleep on top of me, her head resting on my chest, her right hand lying over my heart. It feels so fucking good to have her in my arms, finally.

We’ve both come a long way.

We should have been damaged beyond repair after that night, but we’ve made it, surely it can only get better from now on? I know I’ll have to constantly reassure her that it’s her that I want to be with, not an Annie replica.

Annie…

I still can’t believe that we slept together, I never intended for it to happen that night, but the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted her.

I know it’s sick, I loved her sister and now I’m fucking her. I feel like a new man when I’m around Viv. She’s the light to my darkness. No matter how shitty my day has been, she always brings a smile to my face. She was the missing piece to my happiness and I finally have her with me. She doesn’t give a damn that I’m a biker, which is a huge change for me, when you’re biker women throw themselves at your feet wanting the danger and adrenalin. I never minded, hell I was pretty fucking happy about it, easy fucks on tap, what kind of men would turn that down?

The most fucked up thing is that I knew Viv had feelings for me back then and if I’m being completely honest, it’s Viv that I’ve always wanted. Those eyes, those lips, those curves…

I’m aware that makes me a total dick, initially I dated Annie because I thought Viv didn’t feel anything for me and blamed me for Jared’s treatment of her, which only got more brutal and cruel after that night. It wasn’t long after I started seeing Annie that I found out Viv reciprocated my feelings but I was stuck. I couldn’t just end things with Annie and go to Viv telling her that it was her that I had loved all along. Annie had quickly fallen in love with me and I couldn’t stomach the thought of breaking her heart, Viv never would have wanted me after I broke her sister’s heart.

Selfishly I stayed with Annie. If I couldn’t have Viv, then I’d have Annie, she was the closest I could get to Viv. Maybe if I’d had the balls to end things with Annie and forgot about those two amazing women, Annie would still be alive. I never should have pursued Annie, it was a big fucking mistake that I’m still paying for. But at the same time, I don’t regret any of it because I was still kinda with Viv.

I disgust myself, but I don’t plan on stopping whatever it is that Viv and I have. Call me a fucking asshole, I don’t care, I have loved that woman for the past twelve years and I am not punishing myself any longer. I might not be showing it the right way at the moment but I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I need to explain everything to her, she won’t believe me though, even when I tell her that I want her not her sister, she doesn’t believe me. She’s my Viv, she’s always been mine. Even if I was with Annie, I’d always look out for her. I sigh to myself, all my happy thoughts leaving my mind, I guess this is what she’s doing to herself every time she overthinks things.

I wish I was better at expressing my feelings. My greatest wish is to have what my parents had, what Cabe and Josie, Ayd and Ant have. Hell even Aleck, the one man who swore off love, found his one and only.

I found mine years ago but stupidly went out with her sister instead of owning up to how I felt and confronting the right one. Viv had my heart the moment I punched Jared, without a word she managed to steal it and she’s never given it back. Hell she doesn’t even know she has it. I need to explain everything, to pour my heart out to her before her head overrules her heart. She already doubts me, I constantly catch her lost in her thoughts and I know it’s always about me and Annie. I need to do this soon before I fuck things up, it’s bound to happen, I know what I’m like.

“Now look who’s over thinking things.” I jump as Viv’s sleepy voice brings me back to reality.

“Fuck! How long have you been awake?” She chuckles and stretches her small frame next to me, pressing herself closer to me in the process.

“Long enough to know that
you’re
the one over thinking things right now.” She smiles softly looking up at me.

“No, I’m not. Good morning, Doll.” I gently brush my lips over hers and squeeze her ass.

“Good morning and yes, you are.” She kisses me back softly before getting up and disappearing in the bathroom, fully naked. I have the amazing view of her ass and her tattoo. A fallen angel with burned wings.
Beautiful.

A few minutes later she emerges from the bathroom, wrapped in a robe. I can’t stop the frown that appears on my face. “What? It’s chilly, I’m not going to walk around naked for your pleasure.”

“You should,” I say completely serious and get up, wrapping her up in my arms. “How did you sleep?”

“Not too bad actually.” She smiles. “You didn’t have any more nightmares last night.”

It takes me a minute to think and I realize that she’s right. I didn’t. “That’s the first time that’s happened; I dreamt of the most beautiful purple-ish eyes looking up at me with my dick between your lips.” I grin sheepishly and groan when she slaps my stomach.

“Dickhead!” She glares at me and walks out of the room. I laugh to myself and get dressed. As much as I don’t want to leave her this morning, I don’t have much choice. We have another meeting with Sanders.
This should be interesting.

I head downstairs and join her in the kitchen, holding her to me with one arm around her waist and move her hair away from her neck, burying my face in her softness before kissing along her lavender scented skin.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing? I’m not sucking you off, so being a kiss-ass isn’t going to work!” She tries to push me away but I won’t budge.

“I didn’t ask you to suck me off, I was just telling you what my dream was about. Don’t act like a bitch, it doesn’t suit you. I just wanted to have a minute with you before I have to leave.” I sigh, not letting her pull away from me.

“Don’t fucking call me a bitch!” She turns around and glares at me.

“I didn’t call you a bitch. I said you were acting like one. For fuck’s sake, I really don’t need this. I don’t do drama.”

She scoffs. “I’m not the one bringing the drama.”

“Is that so? And how in the fucking hell did I?”

“By bringing Annie up any chance you have!” She raises her eyebrow at me.

“Hold up, I didn’t fucking bring her up so stop making fucking excuses. I had one fucking nightmare about her whilst sleeping in the same bed as you and you’re gonna throw it back in my face. That’s unfair, Viv. I can’t control what I fucking dream about, if I could then they would only be about you. When are you going to fucking get that? Even when I fucking dream or have nightmares about her it’s always your eyes I see.” I let out a frustrated sigh. This is not how I envisioned my morning to start.

“What?” She looks at me confused.

“You never listen do you? I’m here with you because I want you for fuck’s sake. It’s your eyes I fucking see every time I have a fucking nightmare. Your beautiful eyes being ripped away from me, leaving my heart fucking bleeding!”

“How would you feel if the roles were reversed? Your twin brother passed away because we were together, despite knowing things would be a fucking mess if anyone found out. Then years later, you and I hook up and I show up in the middle of the night after having a fucking nightmare about your dead brother and wanting some comfort and sex. Tell me Gabe, how the fuck would you feel? Because right now, I feel used. You might be all sweet and shit at the moment, but the only reason you came over last night is because of that fucking nightmare about Annie. You talk about needing to feel again, but do you even care about how
I
feel?” She stares at me and I’m speechless. “Didn’t think so. You can see yourself out, Gabriel. Don’t come back here. Whatever this is, it’s over.” She pushes me away as if to make a point and I let her, still stunned. Then everything sinks in and I’m seeing red.

I immediately walk back to her and pin her to the counter. “First of all, do not fucking push me, ever, or I swear your ass will be a nasty shade of red and you won’t be able to sit down for a fucking week. Second, that was a fucking low blow. Of course I fucking care about how you feel, how the fuck can you ask me that? Third, I do
not
appreciate being yelled at in the morning for no fucking reason at all. This is why I don’t do relationships; I don’t need the fucking drama. You want us to be over? Fine, we’re done. Have a good fucking life on your own.” I walk out of the kitchen without a second thought. Just as I’m about to open the front door, she stops me by yelling the words I never wanted to hear from her.

“Do not ever fucking come back here. It was the biggest fucking mistake coming back, especially seeing you again. I regret all of this, especially letting you use me twice, Gabe. Rest assured I will never make that mistake again. Stay out of my fucking life!” she yells.

A part of me wants to stay and prove her wrong but that part is quickly overwhelmed by the rage that consumes me. I can’t stand being near her at the moment. I take one last look at her and leave, slamming the door as if to make some stupid fucking point.

I jump on my bike and speed away from her place, feeling my heart being ripped out more and more the further I drive away from her.

I fucked up.

She fucking makes me feel truly happy for the first time in years but she’s so fucking frustrating! I need to find a way to show her how I feel but I have no idea how. She’s only been here a couple of days, but fuck if she hasn’t turned my world upside down.

It doesn’t take me long to get to the compound and a few minutes later I pull up and park my bike next to Ant’s. As I make my way to the chapel, I stop in my tracks.

“Ryan, Brother, I need to ask you a favor.”

“Anything, what’s up?” He looks at me, meaning business. I like that about this kid, you can ask him anything and he’ll do it happily. I study him for a second, he’s still quite young, a fair few years younger than me, but he exhibits the tell-tale signs that he’s been to hell and back too.

“I need you to keep an eye on Viv. She’s mine. Don’t fuck it up.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just want to make sure she has protection. It’s a really long story but can you do that for me?”

“Of course, what’s the address?” I write it down for him and hand him the paper. “Thanks.”

“No, thank you. I won’t be able to focus when we deal with the Kings if I think she’s unprotected.”

“Looks like Ant and Aleck were right. Someone’s already pussy whipped.” He taunts and snickers.

“If you care at all about your legs you’ll stop that shit right now.” I glare at him but all it does is make him laugh more. “Dickhead.” I shake my head at him and chuckle. “Make sure she’s safe. If anything happens to her, I’m holding you responsible.”

“Don’t worry, I got this.” He chuckles and claps my shoulder once, making me wince.

“What’s with everybody hitting the wrong fucking shoulder?” I rub it as I walk into the chapel seeing Ant, Aleck and Sanders already seated.

“Someone is in a good mood.” Ant chuckles.

“Piss off Ant.” I sit down and sigh, rubbing my face.

“Trouble in paradise?” Aleck snickers.

“No, everything is perfect. What’s new?” I really don’t want to be talking about this with any of them.

“Right.” Ant sighs. “Focus on this meeting and forget about whatever it is that happened with Viv, at least for a couple of days. I need you to keep your head in this and she probably needs time.”

“I know.” I rub my face.

We’re all silent for a moment before Sanders starts to speak. “Don’t know what’s going on with you but Ant is right, things are moving fast, we’ve all got to focus. They’ve offed one of the Angels’ women because she was talking and whining too much. They made my man do it to prove his loyalty and it nearly killed him. He’s a fucking mess. Luckily they aren’t suspecting him, which is a miracle. I’ve showed everyone my guy’s picture so they don’t kill him when this shit goes down. There is one major issue though.”

“What is that?” Ant asks looking worried.

“They know Viv is back.”

“Motherfuckers!” I growl.