Healing A Hero (The Camerons of Tide’s Way #4) (23 page)

Another long pause.

“I don’t know,” Julie said so softly Philip almost didn’t hear the words at all. “Maybe I’m afraid this can’t last. He’s going to leave again. If he’s just the Gunny . . . a nice man I enjoy being with and all, but . . . well . . . what if he gets sent somewhere dangerous and this time he doesn’t come home at all?”

There was a rustling of clothes as the two dark figures moved closer and Ava put her arm about Julie’s shoulders. “He’ll come back. He always does,” Ava assured her new cousin.

Philip slumped against the wall, his heart beating so hard it was surprising the girls didn’t hear it.

“And he really loves you. Anyone can tell just by the way he talks about you. He’d never abandon you like my mom abandoned us.”

Philip slid down the wall until he was sitting, his knees drawn up in front of him. The realization that Julie was afraid to love him too much and was trying to protect her heart from being hurt hit him square between the eyes.

The one thing that had been a constant in his adult life, the thing he’d let define him, was the very thing that had taken him away from Elena in the first place and had kept Julie from him all these years. And if he stuck with it, being a Marine might keep his daughter at a distance forever.

Chapter 42

Memorial Day Weekend, 2015

Tide’s Way, North Carolina

ELENA WANDERED around Philip’s childhood bedroom, looking at the things either he or his mother had chosen to hang on the walls and touching the bits and pieces of his life that decorated the horizontal surfaces. A trophy for first place in a tennis tournament, a baseball glove with the thumb chewed off by a long-ago pet, a baseball with signatures on it from a Padres game.

Until he told her about Tommy, she hadn’t known he’d ever spent enough time in San Diego to start following the Padres. She touched the clear plastic box the ball was incased in and thought about all the games he might have taken the boy to had Tommy not turned out to be someone else’s son.

A small wooden box with the Marine Corps emblem on the top and Semper Fi burned into the front sat on top of the dresser with a very old, one-eyed teddy bear next to it. She lifted the lid of the box and found a collection of medals, ribbons and other commendations.

That’s odd. Why are they here? Wouldn’t he have to wear them on his uniform? At least some of the time?
Maybe they were duplicates.

She lifted the teddy bear and pressed the still-soft fur against her face. He was well-loved. Most of the satin label had been worn away, and he was missing one eye. She tried to imagine a miniature version of Philip hugging the bear, maybe falling asleep with it at night, or clutching it when faced with something that scared him.

Nothing scared him now. Not the rigorous and painful rehab he’d gone through, not the surgeries, and not the idea of putting himself in harm’s way.

She dropped onto the bed as her legs felt suddenly weak. In a few weeks, he’d be gone again, tackling the world and all the evil it held, head-on.

Earlier, in the light of the bonfire, she’d resisted when Philip first snaked his arm about her shoulders and pulled her close. But then she’d given in to the comfort of his solid, reassuring presence. Resting her head against his shoulder had made her wish with all her heart that she could put her head on his shoulder any time she pleased. Or any time she needed.

A quick tap on the door and she scrambled to put the teddy bear back on the dresser beside the wooden box. Her pulse hammered in her throat as she moved toward the door, praying it was Philip. Afraid it was. They still had so much to talk out.

“Mom?” Julie’s head appeared as the door eased open.

Elena relaxed and gestured for her daughter to come in. She did, and closed the door behind her.

“Are—are you having a nice time?” She’d barely had a moment with Julie since they’d arrived. A few moments on the beach, a couple more during supper. And a conversation that had seemed like it was going to be important until Philip had interrupted it.

Julie played with the hem of her shirt, running her fingers back and forth along the stitched edge.

Elena’s chest seemed to constrict. Philip had the same habit. She glanced at the teddy bear with the tattered label and back to Julie’s nervous fingers.

How could she not have noticed it before? Sometimes, maybe more aware of the habit, Philip tended to shove his hand in his pocket and worry the lining, but she’d also watched him flatten the sharp crease in his uniform trousers as if he had no idea he was doing it. A chink in Philip’s armor.

Julie had far more in common with Philip than she did with Eli, in spite of growing up with the other man in her life. She had Philip’s eyes and his dimple, and even the habit that showed up when she was anxious. But those were obvious things.

Julie wasn’t a warrior. At least, not yet. But she wasn’t a pacifist like Eli either. She’d gotten her first black eye and a chipped tooth defending a friend who was being bullied when she was only seven. She was confident and outgoing rather than arrogant and introverted. Julie was so much Philip’s daughter it hurt to think about it.

“I’m having a wonderful time,” Julie said, her eyes not quite meeting Elena’s. “But that’s not why I came.”

Elena’s heart started its erratic thumping again. “Then what?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For being in a pissy mood and treating you like crap.”

This was the rest of that conversation, after all.

Elena reached for her. “You don’t need to be sorry. You had a good reason to be upset with me.”

Julie sank onto the edge of the bed and finally looked up, her eyes locking on Elena’s. “You could have gotten rid of me. One way or another.”

Elena sucked in a gasp of shock. She dropped onto the bed beside Julie and wrapped her arms about her. “It never crossed my mind.” She hugged her daughter tighter as the thought of such a choice hit her, along with Julie’s acceptance that she might have considered it.

“You married Dad because of me. So I’d have a father. Even though your heart was broken and you probably didn’t want to marry anyone.”

Elena couldn’t find the words to reason with her daughter’s assessment of the decisions she had made all those years ago. Her heart
had
been broken and she really
hadn’t
wanted to marry Eli. If it hadn’t been for Julie, she’d probably have gone on mourning Philip’s continued absence from her life indefinitely. But she’d chosen a different path.

“I understand better now.” Julie pulled free of Elena’s embrace and dabbed at her eyes. “And maybe it’s karma the way things happened in the end.”

“Karma?” Elena still struggled to pull herself together.

“When we first moved here, I didn’t know anyone and I was angry because I thought you’d taken away my whole world. But now I’ve got this crazy, fantastic new family. And if you’d stayed in San Diego, I probably would never have met my real father at all. It’s not that I don’t still love Eli, but now I have all this, too.” She gestured vaguely as if taking in the house and all its occupants. “Karma. See?”

“But I should have told you about Philip back in February. I really should have told you years ago, but I should have come clean when you met him. When he met you.”

Julie got to her feet and paced away from the bed, then back again. The look on her face said she was on a mission. Another mission beyond apologizing, but what? “You’d have told me eventually, though. You’d have had to.”

“Maybe.” Elena’s breath was coming in short uneasy puffs, as if her body knew something her brain hadn’t figured out yet.

“Are you going to tell him this time?”

“Tell him what?”

“That he’s going to be a father again.”

Elena gasped. “How . . . ?”

Julie’s face relaxed and her dimple, Philip’s dimple, appeared in her smooth, youthful cheek. “You better never play poker. You’re too easy to read.”

“But how?” Elena still reeled with disbelief. She’d only suspected she was pregnant for a couple of weeks. She’d only been sure for a few days. She covered her still very flat stomach with trembling fingers.

“That, for one thing.” Julie pointed at Elena’s stomach and her hand resting protectively over the tiny life growing inside. “You do it a lot when you’re looking at him. When you think no one else is noticing that you’re looking at him.”

Elena yanked her hand away from her belly.

“You’re in love with him. Maybe you’ve always been in love with him. And I know you were together while I was gone. Annnnnd—” She dragged the word out. “You weren’t very careful about getting rid of the evidence.”

“But I—” Elena started to argue.

“The pregnancy test instructions fell down behind the toilet,” Julie answered Elena’s unasked question. “And I found them.”

Chapter 43

Memorial Day Weekend, 2015

Tide’s Way, North Carolina

PHILIP STEPPED out onto the deck and found Julie standing at the rail, looking toward the beach where her new cousins were busily building a sandcastle. He crossed the worn, sundrenched boards to his daughter and put his hands on her shoulders.

“Oh, hey—” She jerked around at his touch. “Gunny!”

He dropped his hands from her shoulders and placed them on the rail. Elena stood at the water’s edge, bent at the waist examining something that sparkled in the sunlight. She picked it up and as she slid it into her pocket, she glanced up at the house and smiled. She turned and headed in their direction.

“I’m going to take your mom for a ride. You’ll be okay here while we’re gone?”

Julie’s gaze flitted beyond him for a moment, then back to meet his. “Of course. Why? Is something going to happen I don’t know about?”

“Maybe,” he conceded, slowly. It wouldn’t be smart to tell Julie before he talked to Elena, so he didn’t elaborate.

Julie watched her mother approach with a slight frown marring her youthful brow. “Mom says I’m legally your daughter,” Julie began in a rush. “Because your name is on my birth certificate, and all. So, I’m like, really part of your family. Right?”

“Of course.”

“And you’re responsible for me. As much as mom.”

“I suppose that’s so,” Philip agreed, puzzled by her intensity. “Is there something I should know about? You look worried.”

She brightened. “I just wanted to know where I fit in.”

He pulled her into his arms. “You fit in right here. Always.” He kissed the top of her head and gave her an extra squeeze.

“Good to know,” she said breezily as she pushed herself free of his embrace.

Elena had reached the foot of the stairs.

“Whatever happens,” Julie glanced toward Elena and back, “I wanted to tell you . . . ” She hesitated again.

Philip held his breath, waiting for her to finish.

“I love you . . . Daddy.”

Julie’s eyes darkened with determination. Not just Gunny. Not just anyone. He was her father, and she’d made sure he knew how she felt about it.

“I love you, too.” His heart hammered.

He would have pulled her back for another hug, but she pressed her hand to his chest and pushed him away.

“Better go for that ride. See you when you get back.” Then she turned and hurried past her mother, pausing only long enough to leave a fleeting kiss on Elena’s cheek. A moment later, she was running down the beach in the direction of Ava and another sandcastle creation.

“What was all that about?” Elena asked when she got to where Philip stood, still stunned by his sudden change of status.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and sucked in a shuddering breath. “I’ll tell you in the car.”

“In the car?” Elena tipped her head to the side. “Where are we going?”

“To Anchor Beach. We have some things to talk out, and there’s no privacy around here.”

As if to emphasize his claim, his brothers’ three boys tore out of the house and pounded down the stairs, shouting and jostling each other as they went. Then Sandy appeared with Meg and a tray bearing a sweating pitcher of sweet tea and tall glasses.

“Be back in a while, Mom.” Philip grabbed Elena’s hand and drew her toward the house.

Sandy just smiled and nodded. Meg smirked. What did they know that he didn’t? He shrugged and continued on through the family room and out the other side.

THE SHORT RIDE up the barrier island to Anchor Beach didn’t take long, but it was heavy with things yet unsaid. Whatever had happened on the porch, Elena was sure Philip would tell her when he was ready.

Ever the gentleman, he opened her door for her and held his hand out to assist her from the low-slung Camaro. When he laced his fingers through hers and the heat of his palm seeped into her, Elena’s heart began to race. Touching him and being touched by him always made her heart run faster, but today there were other things besides physical excitement to cause the sped-up heartbeat.

As they passed the anchor, Philip reached out to tap it just he always had fourteen years earlier.

“You still believe the anchor brings good luck?” Elena asked as she leaned across him to duplicate his action.

“There’s a Chinese proverb. At least I think it’s Chinese.” Philip stopped to shuck his flip-flops. “It says luck is when opportunity knocks and you answer.”

Elena kicked her sandals off on top of Philip’s. She glanced back at the anchor, then up at Philip. “So is opportunity knocking now?”

“It knocked a long time ago.” Philip dragged her through the dunes and onto the beach. “Thirteen years, thirty-seven weeks and six days, to be exact. I pretended I didn’t hear it.”

She stopped walking and turned to look up at him. “What happened . . . thirteen years, thirty-seven weeks and . . . however many days you said ago? That’s kind of an exact number.”

“That’s the day you gave me this.” He tapped the cross glinting against his polo shirt in the afternoon sunlight.

Now her heart was thumping fast and hard. “W-what opportunity did you not answer?”

His intense gaze probed hers. “That’s when I knew I didn’t want to live without you. I should have told you I loved you. I should have done this.” Abruptly, he dropped onto one knee and looked up at her with those incredibly blue eyes, suddenly softened with such a radiant look of love that it took her breath away. “Will you be my wife and make the rest of my life luckier than I deserve?”

His image blurred as tears washed into her eyes. “Yes,” she whispered, barely able to speak. She brought trembling fingers to her mouth and kissed them before reaching down to place them against his lips. “Yes!”

It didn’t matter anymore how far away he might go physically. He’d always be in her heart and she in his. And he’d come home to her from now on. Unable to just stand there looking down at him, she dropped onto her knees and wrapped her arms about his neck. He hugged her hard, then kissed her even harder. Then he rolled onto his butt and pulled her into his lap.

He fumbled in his pocket and produced a small cream-colored velvet box. “I’m not letting opportunity get a second chance to change your mind,” he said as he flicked the lid open to reveal the sparkling glitter of a beautiful diamond ring. He plucked it from the box as she spread her trembling fingers and a heartbeat later, he slid it onto her finger. He kissed her knuckles.

“Opportunity has another question for you.”

“Can it wait until I kiss you to seal the deal?” Philip grinned and his dimple deepened.

She raised her face to his and pulled his head down, eager, as always, to feel his mouth on hers. He was gentle at first, a kiss filled with love and commitment, but then it turned fiery and demanding and it was several minutes before they broke apart, panting.

Philip tipped backward onto the sand and pulled her down to his side with her head pillowed on his shoulder. Elena traced the shape of the cross and tried to decide exactly how to tell him she was pregnant. She knew the night it happened exactly. The only night it could have happened. At the time, she’d been so turned on and desperate to have him inside her, she wouldn’t have cared even if she had thought she could get pregnant, but she’d thought she was safe.

He hadn’t cared either. Or said he didn’t. But maybe he would.

“There’s something else—”

I’ve come to a decision—”

They both started at once.

“You first,” Elena propped herself on one elbow so she could see his face.

“How do you feel about supporting me for a while?”

She felt her forehead pinch into a frown. “Supporting you?”

“While I go back to school to get my master’s.”

“But the Marines—”

“I’m getting out.”

Elena sat up in a rush and gazed down at him in disbelief. “Why?”

“For you. And Julie.” He ran his hand down her arm until his fingers rested on her ring. “For us.”

“But you’re a Marine,” she protested, not exactly sure why she was questioning a choice she had wanted him to make a month ago.

“I’m more than just a Marine. And now I have a lot more at stake if I stay in. I’ve got a lot to make up for.”

“But—but what will you do?” She caught her breath, still unable to believe he would not be deploying in a matter of weeks.

“I’m going to be that guy other Marines can come to when they need to talk. I have been where they’ve been. I’ve lived through the hell of it and suffered the nightmares. I know what it’s like to come home feeling jumpy and wired and disconnected from the rest of the world. And I know I can make a difference.”

“Oh, Philip. That’s wonderful. That’s fantastic. I know you will. Make a difference. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the change in Corporal Dickey, ’cause I did.” She sobered abruptly. “But couldn’t you do that and still stay in the Marines?”

Philip lunged up to sit with his forearms resting on his knees. “I probably could. Although changing your MOS isn’t always easy to do if you’ve been good at what you do, and the Corps wants to keep you there.”

“MOS?”

“Military Occupational Specialty.” He reached out to touch her ring again, as if reassuring himself that she’d really said yes. “If I get out, I can end up back at Lejeune like you as a civilian, working for the Marines. And they can’t send me anywhere else. They need counselors on ships and in the field just as much as they need them on bases back home. I thought you’d be happy about this.” His brows went up in question.

“I am, but—” Her hand fluttered against her stomach. Her tell, as Julie put it. But Philip hadn’t guessed.

“But you wanted to tell me something?” He grabbed both of her hands and closed his strong blunt fingers around them encouragingly.

“You’re—you’re going to be a father. Again.”

He stared at her, his lips rounding to a surprised “O.” His intense blue gaze softened. “You’re sure?”

She’d expected a whoop of triumph and chest-beating pride. Instead, his whole face suffused with joy and love. She drew his hands toward her and placed them on her stomach, over the tiny life they’d created together. “I’m sure.”

She leaned in to kiss him.

“How did I get so lucky?” he asked. He kissed her again, one hand still pressed possessively against her tummy and the other cradling her cheek.

“You answered when opportunity knocked.”

The End

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