Headstrong Quarterback: A New Adult Sports Romance (8 page)

I was responsible. It wasn’t Avery’s fault. I felt like less of a man. My career was on the line. I didn’t know what my future held. I was an ass. I didn’t mean what I said, but I struck out, lashing her with my words.

Truth be told, when Avery came into my life, she completed me. There was always something missing, but she filled that void. She was sweet, even when she was guarded and thought she was tough. When she’s in my arms, I know I’m with the right person. She brings a joy to my life that I’ve never known.

I want what’s best for her. She doesn’t give herself enough credit. She’s such a smart girl, but doesn’t think she deserves good things to happen in her life. I know her confidence took a hit after what happened with her step-brother, but she’s worth so much more than she realizes.

I want to lift her onto my shoulders and help her reach her dreams, but the girl just doesn’t dream – at least not what I can see. I guess trying to push her, I pushed too hard. I was a jerk. An idiot. I love that girl. She’s the best thing that happened to me.

I hate that she’s lost. I don’t know how to change things for her, to make them better. I want to fix things, and I can’t. That’s a difficult place to be. I feel stronger when I can control the circumstances, but this is her life. I need to let her live it on her terms.

I don’t mean to come off as overbearing, it’s just that sometimes the way I love that girl overwhelms me. I wish she’d reach for the stars. Hell, I’d buy her a god-damn ladder if it would help. I have to let go, and it puts me at a loss. I don’t know how to do that. And yet, I almost lost her with my short-sited temper.

The only thing I’m certain of anymore is that I need Avery by my side.

When I left the bar, I went to the shitty motel she was staying at. It wasn’t the kind of place she should be living. She deserved so much better. Shame washed through me as I gathered her things. I’m the one that pushed her out.  I returned her key to the office and left. This was my fault. I did this. I let her down. It was time to fix it.

I had to ring the doorbell. I didn’t have a key anymore. It felt weird, almost symbolic, waiting for him to let me back in. I felt like an outsider, like I didn’t belong, and yet I wanted to be here. Without Steel, I felt empty.

When he opened the door, he apologized. “I should have given you your key, I didn’t think.”

“It’s okay,” I said, a little nervous to enter. I wanted to jump into his arms, but it wasn’t that easy. We had to work through the tension between us. We loved one another, but would it be enough?

“I’m glad you’re home,” he said.

“Me too.” I walked in and sat on the edge of the sofa. “Steel, we need to talk about this.”

“I know.” He sat across from me.  “We’ll figure it out…together. Don’t leave, Avery, please don’t leave. I need you.”

Steel needing anything came as a surprise. He was always in control, like he could tackle the world. I couldn’t picture him needing someone as simple and as messed up as me. I whispered quietly, “You don’t need me. You can move mountains without me.”

“I do need you. My heart is broken, and you’re the only one that can fix that. I want you with me. You’re my heart and soul.”

“You’re not in love with me,” I reminded. The words killed me.

“That’s not true. I was trying to hurt you. I’m sorry I sank that low. Avery, give us another chance.”

I nodded. I couldn’t imagine life without Steel.

He spoke gently. “Can you forgive me? I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful with your feelings.”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Can you forgive me? I was a bitch.”

“Absolutely,” he answered.

We were exhausted and worn from the emotional craters. We clasped our hands together, reuniting. That tiny moment was bigger than I can tell you. I was home.

***

Once the cast came off, it made a huge difference in his demeanor. Seeing him climb out of the depression was like recognizing the old Steel of past. I didn’t realize how heavy the burden of his injury had been. His identity was tied to his career, and if he wasn’t useful he didn’t know if the Red Hawks would keep him. He had no intention of being a bench warmer.

The mood finally lightened at home.

When human resources from a local company called me on a resume I submitted months before, I got nervous at the thought of interviewing all over again. The last jobs I applied for in corporate environments hadn’t gone over well.

I froze up with strangers, a social anxiety that didn’t bring me across in the best light. Sure I could do the actual work, but getting past the interview was my biggest challenge apparently.

Steel was excited for me. We went over possible interview questions, rehearsing what I might say.

I dressed carefully, found my way, and went to the interview. I thought maybe, just maybe it might work out. And then he said the words that took my breath away. “So, Steel Brickman of the Red Hawks, huh?”

“This interview is over.” I stood up and turned to leave. He couldn’t…he wouldn’t…right?

The entire drive home I fumed over his intrusion into my professional life.

“Did you set this up?” I confronted him angrily when I got home.

“What does it matter? It’s a job, and one that you wanted. I asked for a favor, it’s part of business.”

“Steel, you get to live beside me, but you don’t get to live my life. You don’t get to direct it like some stage director. I’m not taking the job,” I finished.

“It’s a perfect opportunity, Avery. Don’t spit in the wind.”

“I want to land a job on my own merits, not based on who my boyfriend is.”

“I don’t get it; all I did was contact somebody. The interview was up to you.”

“Steel, if I took that job, I’d always be known as the girl who got hired based on who I knew and not based on my ability. It belittles me in front of other co-workers, and then they’ll start to wonder what other favors I’m getting.”

“Who’s to say you get a job on your own, that people won’t just assume I had something to do with it?”

“I’ll know.”

“It wasn’t even a special job, it was entry level, a chance to get your foot in the door,” he answered.

“Steel, you can’t do stuff like this. You’ve got to accept this at some point. Can’t you see? I want to climb this ladder on my own. I need to know I can do it.”

“I thought I could help,” he said, looking like a thrown out teddy-bear. He wasn’t being malicious, he wanted to fix things, to make things easier for me.

I sighed, recognizing it for what it was.

“No more
favors
, Steel. I need to get a job on my own merits. Promise me.”

“Fine,” he said, disgruntled. “At least let me take you out to dinner to make it up to you?”

I nodded, “Do you promise? No more interfering?”

“No more interfering,” he said. I was torn between being mad at him for sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong, and appreciating that he loved me enough to want good things to happen.

After the experience, I was more determined than ever to prove to him that I could land a job. I’d put in extra effort and send another batch of resumes out, whatever it took.

“Take pity on a man with a bum leg,” he said. Steel smiled and followed me into the bedroom to change.

How could I not laugh? “Fine, you’ve been properly scolded.”

“I think punishment is in order, like maybe being forced to endure endless, passionate kisses.” He looked down and grinned. “I have the perfect place you can sit.”

“You’re naughty.” I laughed.

“I thought you liked that about me?”

“I do.” I stripped off my blazer, and slowly unbuttoned my blouse. “A girl needs a little extracurricular activity.”

“Leave the skirt on, ditch the panties,” he said. “You can pretend to be my secretary, taking
dictation
. Get it?”

“You’re proud of yourself for that little play on words, aren’t you?”

Steel grinned and nodded.

“You’re such a boy,” I groaned. I was tired of the hot and cold pattern we’d been in. I was ready for it to be hot, with no forecast of cold in the future.

When he kissed me, I melted. This was the Steel I’d fallen in love with, the man that made me feel safe and oh so sexy.

I flashed back to our first kiss. I shook inside, wanting him to touch me, but still afraid to be touched. We’d weathered bigger storms; we’d get through anything life through our way.

Steel pulled away only long enough to take off his clothes. He moved gingerly, and laid back. I climbed over him and found what we’d lost along the way.

He played me like a finely-tuned instrument, knowing all of my sensitive spots. His fingers danced across my skin, barely grazing it. His hands were magic, and I was his muse.

Making love to Steel was perfection, even when it wasn’t perfect. We belonged together. He thrust from below. My nails dug into him. An arch, a peak, a moan. I held on fast, as the orgasm ripped through me. Everything was right again. The way it was meant to be.

By the time I finally landed my first job out of college, it felt like forever had passed. It wasn’t fabulous, and it wasn’t high-paying, but I got it on my own. That alone made it special. I was in an entry level position for a national landscaping company.  You’d have thought I’d won the lottery the way I celebrated that day.

The funny thing is, as much as I wanted that job, I ended up missing bartending. They’re different worlds with different expectations, and different types of co-workers. Either way, it was a step in the right direction.

Steel was progressing, too. He hoped to be given clearance to play, but they held him out. They wanted him as strong as possible for the following season. He’d train. He’d be there for the games, but until he was functioning at full capacity, he was out. They paid a lot of money for his contract, and hoped the investment would pay for itself the following year. He hated being a bench warmer, but came to terms with it.

When Kira called, Steel wasn’t sure what he thought of the news. She’d met somebody and wanted him to meet the guy. You’d think she said she was moving to Mars by his reaction. I knew nobody would be good enough for her in his eyes.

They’d relied on each other so much through their earlier years. With the loss of their mother, it changed their dynamic. There was still a co-dependence, but it gradually loosened its grip.

She was going to fly in for a visit, bringing her new beau along. She wanted to stay with us, but I knew it was a mistake. I gently suggested they get a hotel room and some private space. I told her what it might be like other wise. Steel would play the part of an overbearing father, not simply her brother. She finally agreed it was a good idea.

Kira’s boyfriend wasn’t who or what Steel expected. In fact, he came as a shock. He wasn’t big and strong, he wasn’t solid, he didn’t have a steady job, and other than the fact that he seemed to treat Kira well, he wasn’t the kind of guy Steel would have picked out for her. This wasn’t a man that could support her, take care of her, and battle all of her demons. He was a wishy-washy, slender boy with long hair and no direction. He took odd jobs freelancing, and was some artistic hippy. How did that spell stability? She’d end up supporting him, working her ass off, while he flitted around playing with creative ideas and hoping one might catch. Why was Kira wasting time with this guy?

Kira was her own person, a grown woman. It didn’t matter what he wanted for her, he didn’t get to choose.  Kira, of course, swore she’d end up marrying this guy because it was her life, and she knew
exactl
y what she wanted. She didn’t. She split up with him when she got back to Seattle. Maybe Steel had more influence in her life than she believed. I already knew the answer. Nobody would ever measure up to her brother. She had big shoes to fill. She’d see it one day. He was her hero. How can anybody else fit that bill?

The one good thing that came out of her visit was that Kira finally accepted me. Steel and I had been together a long time, and she saw I wasn’t a passing phase. We loved each other. She might not have been my biggest fan, but she saw that our love was genuine. I took it as a win.

Either way, I envied the way they cared about each other. My family was a distant wound from my past. I moved forward, but some days it felt insanely lonely. If Steel hadn’t come into my life, I’m not sure what I’d be doing. Would I still be burying my pain at Phil’s, working in a dark, shady environment and living in a rat hole of a room with a bare bulb and a run-down mattress? I want to believe I would have found my way out, but truth be told Steel helped me find myself again.

He rescued me from myself more than anything. I’m pretty sure I would have followed a path of self-destruction, otherwise. Rescuing me, saved him. I’m grateful that he chose me that first night at the bar.

The day he asked me to be his wife, I knew we’d made it. We’d gotten to the point of trusting one another with our lives – the good, the bad, and the ugly. There was something comforting knowing that the person you love more than life itself would be around forever. We weren’t in a hurry to marry since we’re both still young, but we knew our future was together. We’d get married in a year or two, but for now we’re doing just fine.

THE END

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