Headstrong Quarterback: A New Adult Sports Romance (4 page)

Steel walked me upstairs. He didn’t push me, and let me have my space. After saying goodnight, he headed back to his truck. I could still smell his scent lingering; the sultry, musky cologne filled my nostrils. I wanted to reach out to him, to feel his arms around me, to feel his comfort and strength… Would he make the pain go away if I kissed him? I kicked myself for not stopping him from leaving.

Somehow, he’d dismantled a few bricks in my wall.

I closed my door and locked it, wishing I wasn’t such a basket case.

The loud knock startled me.

“Who is it?” I went into defense mode. I couldn’t help myself.

He answered, his head close enough to the door, that I could almost hear him breathing. “It’s me.”

I swallowed hard and unlocked the door. I opened it and peeked up at him. Our eyes met and lingered in a hungry gaze.

“I wasn’t ready to leave,” he said.

I nodded and stepped back, letting him inside.

His deep voice resonated within me. “Can I hold you?”

He wrapped his massive arms around my body. I buried my head against his chest and closed my eyes. It wasn’t scary. It was nice. There was safety in his arms. A quiet strength that told me he was there for me. It cradled me saying, ‘Nothing bad is going to happen.’

I didn’t want the moment to end. I didn’t care that we were in my crappy room. Normally, I’d be ashamed. I just didn’t care. I only wanted to be in his arms. I was weary. I’d been alone for so long.

He slipped his hand under my chin and tipped it up. No words were spoken. He simply looked at me. It was a long, heated exchange. After what felt like years, he brushed his lips against mine, soft and tender.

“Sleep well,” he said, then turned to leave.

“Don’t go,” I squeaked out. I didn’t want to be alone, not after feeling so safe in his arms.

Steel looked at me. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I whispered. There was nowhere for him to sit. I didn’t have a chair. I only had my mattress and dresser, and not much more. My nightstand was an old milk crate flipped upside down. That’s where I kept my laptop. There was no fancy light fixture, there was a single bare bulb that hung from the ceiling.

He held fast, not letting go.

My heart thundered. I ached for his kiss. I wanted him to kiss me deeply, passionately, as much as I didn’t want him to. My brain swirled in confusion. His scent was upon me again. I wanted to memorize it, memorize him. I needed to remember every tiny moment about his embrace, because when I curled up in bed later that night, I’d wrap myself in the memory and let it cradle me to sleep.

He looked into my eyes, questioning, quizzing.

I answered silently.

Steel parted his lips. Our mouths met. He drank me in. I soared like an eagle, dancing in the pleasure, and admitted to myself that I wanted more.

Then I panicked. My familiar wall shot up to protect me and I pulled back.  I felt like a fool. Heated crimson filled my cheeks. “I’m not ready.”

“I’m sorry,” he started.

“Don’t be. I wanted you to kiss me.” I meant it.

“Another day.” He kissed my forehead in a tender moment, then let himself out. Only, he didn’t get far. He stalled, lingered at the door, and stared at me. There was longing in his eyes.

I wanted to feel him against me again, I wanted to kiss him again, and yet I pulled away not even sure why.

He took a step toward me, and I met him halfway. Back in his arms, I cocooned in his safety.

“I’m here.” He knew I needed his protection, even if it was an illusion.

“Steel,” I finally said as I looked up at him.

His giant hand brushed my hair from my eyes. He lowered his head. A soft, gentle kiss grew more passionate. We came together, unsure if the moment would be broken.

With that kiss, I let him push away my fear. Our lips parted and heat grew within us. As I tasted him, I knew I’d need more.

He raked his fingers through my hair, then cupped the nape of my neck. My body went limp in his arms in the most delicious way. I was coming back to life.

A scrap of light found its way through my armor. I’d heal a little today, maybe more tomorrow. Steel Brickman lit a fire in me that had been out for far too long.

He slid his hands down over my shoulders, letting them rest on my back.

He didn’t try to cop a feel, even though I could feel his hardness pressed against my body, trapped under the denim of his jeans.

There was something between us. When he left, all I wondered was when he’d be back.

I scrambled to finish my homework. I’d let some of it go, and was playing catch up. Between work and new feelings for Steel, my focus was scattered. He’d stop by for a beer and bite to eat time to time, though our place didn’t have great food. He still stuck with me, coming to visit when he could. I was opening up, talking more, though still partially guarded.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn’t believe I could find happiness without it being snatched away. Somebody would come along and tell me it was a mistake.

Only, he kept showing up. He invested time. Slowly, we grew those moments into a relationship.  His patience was unlike any other. He was tolerant, kind, and kept me close. I was amazed. He could have any woman he wanted – and yet he came to this shitty place to be with me. He didn’t push, didn’t press, didn’t ask for more than I could give him. He simply shared space with me and it seemed to be enough.

“You want to go out this weekend, maybe catch a movie?” Steel sat with a cheesesteak and beer, keeping me company at the bar.

“I have a paper to finish,” I said, watching his oversized hands dwarf the sandwich.

“Work on it tonight,” he said. “Movie, Saturday. You don’t usually have them off,” he answered before taking a bite of his cheesesteak.

“Okay,” I answered. I wasn’t ready to admit I’d been struggling with my latest assignment. I couldn’t concentrate, and felt like a failure. Distraction used to be my saving grace, but lately my mind focused on anything but school.

“I’ll pick you up at eight,” he said. “After the movie, we’ll grab something to eat.”

“Eight works. Tell me more about you; something I don’t know.” I lifted the bar-stock bottles from the long tray behind the bar and wiped each of them down.

“Not much to tell,” he said. He wasn’t big on conversation that revolved around him.

“What about your mother?” I started, wondering if it was a mistake.

He smiled. “She was beautiful, inside and out. She had a good heart, and worked harder than anyone I knew. She kept two jobs trying to keep us afloat. When I was old enough, I cut lawns to help with money, but she’d never take it from me.”

“And your dad?” I asked, not remembering anything about him.

He froze, then took another bite of his sandwich. When he finished chewing, his answer was laced with venom. “He’s an asshole. A drunken, no good… anyway, I don’t know where he is today. We were better off without him. We might have been poor, but we didn’t have to deal with his bullshit anymore.”

“I’m sorry. My dad took off with another woman and disappeared. I’d get a card every few years. My mom remarried about eight years ago, but as far as I’m concerned they’re all dead to me. You know, my mom comes into the bar time to time, thinking I’ll acknowledge her or something. I guess she figures I can’t throw her out, being a public place and all.”

“You think you’ll ever forgive her?”

“What’s forgiveness,” I asked sarcastically. “Fuck, no. She made her choice. She chose him over me, her own daughter. She turned away from me, looked to my step-father when I told her what happened. Followed his lead. Fuck her.”

He nodded in understanding. “Hey, I’ve got some stuff to do. Saturday, eight, okay?”

“Right,” I said and watched him leave. Did he have normal relationships in high school and college? I tried to picture him as the perfect boyfriend, the kind you see on television, but he was edgier than that. Hurt and disappointment probably scarred him We were two wounded souls trying to find our way. Only he was strong and powerful, and I was floundering like a fish out of water.

Saturday night, Steel showed up as handsome as ever. In a dark blue shirt, boots, and dark-wash jeans, he waltzed in like he owned the place.  My heart skipped a beat, and I blushed like some damn school girl.

I was in all black, not like I had a huge wardrobe, but they were the nicest of my thrift store finds. I didn’t do fuck-me pumps anymore, so my dark sneakers would have to do. Sexy made me uncomfortable. It drew attention my way that I didn’t want. My clothes were looser, less seductive these days. Skirts were off limits, since they offered easy access. I’d never put as much effort into dressing down as I had in the past year.

“You look great,” he said. The funny thing was that he meant it. I was hardly date worthy, but he only had eyes for me.

“Thanks,” I fumbled, as I tried to remember how to take a compliment.

He held my hand as we drove to the movies. I liked the comfort of his big, bear paw over me. With tickets bought, we made our way over to the concession stand. Popcorn to share, and…

When I saw him, I froze.

He turned around. His date, popcorn, drinks… I hadn’t seen him in over a year. Panic gripped me. I couldn’t breathe.

Then,
he
saw me.

I gripped Steel’s hand with a sense of urgency and ferocity. My knees buckled and trembled. I tried to stand strong. The spark of recognition…I couldn’t swallow. I needed to run, but my feet betrayed me and wouldn’t move.

With a twisted grin, he came right at us, almost mocking me.

I looked away, turned up toward Steel, panic glazing over my eyes.

“What’s the matter?” He asked quietly, understanding something was going on.

Before I had time to answer, my nightmare stood before me.

“Well, look who it is,” he said, his words tearing into my flesh.

“Avery?” Steel looked at my step-brother, then at me. “Is that him?”

I couldn’t speak. My voice abandoned me.

“What’s the matter? Not going to introduce me to your football star, Sis?” Steel was recognizable from all of the publicity.

The split second Steel realized who he was, all bets were off. Rage tore out of him. Steel went head first into my step-brother, knocking him to the ground in a tackle. Popcorn flew through the air, and drinks crashed to the ground, splashing all over.

Steel swung wildly, beating my step-brother, pummeling the man below him. Nothing could stop his anger.

Security ran over, screaming at them to break it up. But, they were simply two dollar guards who took a spare job to pay their bills. They weren’t going to jump into the mix. They were there to stop people from sneaking into a movie without a ticket, and not much more. They weren’t equipped to handle an ice hockey player that was used to brawling, and a massive football player.

The men rolled and fought, Steel’s anger leading the way. There was a right to wrong, so much to make up for. The piece of shit beneath him was the very man that destroyed me.

“Call the cops,” someone yelled out.

I didn’t want Steel to get hurt, and yet watching him beat the shit out of my step-brother felt just in its own weird way. I hated my step-brother and he was getting his due, but this was Neanderthal justice.

I heard somebody’s nose crack, and yet nothing as my brain numbed me. An intense quake shook my body. I couldn’t stop it.

When the cops showed, both men were bloodied and beyond themselves. Their adrenaline rocketed. I stood emotionless. Handcuffed, the police had them in separate corners. I should have done something.

Steel’s eyes flickered with rage and his nostrils flared. If the cops hadn’t shown up, would he have finished ‘the job’ or realized he’d gone too far? He was protecting me. There was no time to think, only react.

“Fuck you, I’m pressing charges,” my step-brother spat out.

“You’re a fucking rapist,” Steel shouted.

I cringed, horrified the word was said aloud. I wanted to fade away, become invisible. Shame washed through me as people stared.

“She wanted it,” he shot back. “She’s a fucking liar, a drama queen.”

They escorted Steel outside to one of the police cars. They gave me his truck keys so I could meet him at the station. I quivered, still in shock. My arms and legs went numb. I tried to walk, one foot in front of the other, but I was living in some odd dream. I moved, but I didn’t feel it.

I looked over at my step-brother. Ice pulsed through my veins. Would I ever forget what he did to me? I turned and left. I needed to get to the police station.

Steel told me who to contact. A team lawyer showed up to pay his bail. After a stern warning and suspension, he was released. The Red Hawks didn’t need this kind of publicity. The offense cost him a hefty fine.

We drove back to my place in silence. He was still trying to harness his anger.

Once we got back to Phil’s, I unbuckled and started to climb out of his truck.

“Can I come in? No pressure. I just want to hold you.”

I sensed that this time it was more for him than for me. “Come on.”

We went upstairs and kicked off our shoes. Together we sat down. His face was raw. We clung to one another, trying to forget the earlier events.

“Are you okay?” I whispered.

“Yeah,” was all he could offer.

“I’m sorry,” I started.

“For what?”

“I shouldn’t have-”

He pulled me closer. “You’re not responsible for my actions. I have anger issues. I need to control it better.”

I didn’t know what to say. He wanted to make things better. He was my new hero. My heart bled for him. He went through this for me. “Thank you,” I finally whispered.