Authors: Ken Bruen
Tags: #Fiction, #Mystery & Detective, #General, #Thrillers, #Crime
“I’m already on all the major cases in the city, so,
mister, don’t let me find you staggering around in
any of them. Do what you do best—drink yourself
stupid.”
I let that hover, seep in, and asked,
“What about Headstone?”
“What?”
I leant over to his face, said,
“Seems you missed one of the major cases. Not
exactly a shining start to your professional career.”
He was mystified, asked,
“Tell me about it?”
I said,
“The fucking dogs in the street know about it. Mind
you, they are Irish dogs.”
He stood up, weighing the wisdom of walloping
me in a pub where I was obviously a regular.
Anger was spitting from his eyes, he hissed,
“You’ve been warned Taylor, next time I won’t be
so polite.”
I said,
“Be careful.”
He pulled himself up to his full height, looked at
me, and I said,
“It’s thin ice.”
He gave a short laugh, said,
“You think I’m worried by the bloody weather?”
I lifted my hands in mock surrender, said,
“Who’s talking about the weather?”
He, dare I say it, stormed out.
Over the next few weeks, as the freeze continued
and refused to relinquish its stranglehold, I
continued to visit Malachy—without Ridge. One
occasion, I left a carrier bag by the bed, a carton of
cigs and the now customary bottle of 7-Up. He
eyed this, said with a twinkle in his eye,
“Uisce beatha (holy water), I presume.”
I said,
“It’s certainly blessed to a lot of us.”
Saying thanks wasn’t ever in the equation but
slowly, painstakingly, I managed to gather, in bits
and scraps, his memory of the attack. I usually
waited till he had a shot or four of the 7-Up as that
lessened the sheer terror in his eyes. I had no love
for him, never had, but we had history, bad, yes,
but still . . . I hated to see a defiant feisty spirit like
his cowed. He remembered.
Three young people, one was a girl. The girl he
regarded as being especially venomous. Said with
a shudder as he clutched his bottle like a prayer he
didn’t believe in,
“She was on fire with pure hatred.”
Headstone, I thought.
Then I’d leave as his old head began to droop and
sleep claimed him. A nurse stopped me one
evening, said,
“You’re a grand man to visit the priest like you do.
You must love him very much.”
I had no reply to that, if she only knew.
She added,
“Is he related?”
Now I could answer, said,
“Only through drink.”
My black eye was now in the yellow phase, like
having jaundice. I had tried so hard not to think of
Loyola and his death in the cold water outside the
cottage he loved and regarded as a refuge. Time to
do something about it. I dressed to intimidate:
black jeans, black T-shirt, heavy black scarf, and
my Garda coat. The Mossberg fitting snugly in the
pocket. I took a Xanax, a wee drop of Jay,
muttered,
“By all that’s holy.”
And went to the house previously occupied by
Father Loyola. I didn’t bring port. Knew the lady
would be long gone. Rang the bell, it was
answered by a Barbie doll. Cross my heart, a real
cutesy pie. Maybe twenty but not anything over.
Jesus, at her age, I was security for a Thin Lizzy
concert, right before Phil Lynott died.
She was heartaching gorgeous and as if in
deference, she wore a heavy silver cross round her
neck. God forgive me but all it served to do was
accentuate her wondrous cleavage. Her clothes
were the thin side of provocative. She asked, in a
cultured voice tinged with the American twang
beloved of Irish young people,
“Help you?”
Jesus, count the ways.
She clocked my hearing aid, my bruised eye, the
black glove on my right hand. Nothing there to
suggest any help……….. could help. I said,
“I’ve an appointment with Father Gabriel.”
She chewed on her bottom lip and I knew if she
had gum, she’d probably have blown a bubble. I
said,
“No need to show me the way.”
Pushed past her. I didn’t knock on the door of the
study, simply barged in. Gabriel was sitting behind
a splendid new oak desk, a Galway crystal tumbler
of booze at his right hand. The walls were adorned
with photos of him with the guys with the juice.
Most of whom were now facing indictments on all
sorts of fraud, embezzling, theft. I focused on the
one with him and Clancy, on the golf course,
golden smiles and empty eyes. He managed, “Jack,
what a surprise; this is unexpected.”
I gave him my best smile. Even if my teeth had
been real, the sentiment never would be. I sat in the
armchair opposite him, lovely soft napa leather
that whispered,
“Relax.”
He asked,
“To what do I owe the pleasure?”
I said,
“Give me a shot of whatever it is you’re having.”
He had his control back, said,
“This is not really a good time.”
I said,
“Make it good.”
He glanced at the phone on his desk, one of those
fake fucking antique jobs that cost a fortune, then
decided to ride it out, reached in a drawer,
produced a bottle of Laphroaig, then a glass,
poured a smallish measure, pushed it across the
desk. I said,
“Ah, Johnny Depp’s favorite drink.”
Contempt flowed easily now. He said,
“I really wouldn’t know. Pop trivia is not my
forte.”
I said,
“He’s a movie star, but shite, that is one good
drink.”
It was.
Like the smooth lie of an insincere priest. I said,
“Though, is it not a bit unpatriotic of you not to
support the home side, like a decent bottle of
Jameson? God knows, the economy could use all
the help it can get.”
He was tired of me already, asked in a weary tone,
“Was there something?”
I made a show of looking around, asked,
“Where’s the housekeeper?”
We both knew I didn’t mean Barbie.
He made a dry sucking sound with his teeth, not an
easy feat, but then, who’d want it to be? He said,
“Not really your concern but she had divided
loyalties.”
I pushed,
“Where is she now?”
Exasperation oozed from him. He took a fine nip of
the fine booze, patriotism notwithstanding, said,
“I’ve absolutely no idea.”
And the thought/sentinel riding point was,
“And I could give a fuck.”
Reared in the school of
not giving a fuck,
I
recognized a fellow pilgrim.
Time to up the ante, get him focused.
I stood up and he was about to smile, thinking I
was leaving. Used my left hand to free the
Mossberg, pumped a shell into the chamber. The
sound was awesome; you could have heard a nun
drop. Momentarily startled, he managed to rein it
in, said, “Such theatrics Taylor. You’re going to
shoot a priest?”
Now he laughed, at the sheer absurdity of the
thought. The bollix hadn’t been out much, it
seemed. The laugh galvanized me, I was across the
desk like I actually had the energy, the barrel
jammed into his tanned cheek. I said,
“Great movie, available on DVD,
Mesrine,
classic
French cinema. In it, Mesrine said,
There are no
rules, like me. I live without rules
. You get my
drift I’d hazard. Here’s the gig: you find the
housekeeper and give her the money you
‘recovered’ from poor old Loyola. Sound fair?”
He was shaken, it’s hard not to be when a
Mossberg is jammed into your face, but fair dues,
he did rally, managed,
“Or what?”
I admire spirit, truly appreciate cojones in the face
of a barrel but, truth to tell, I didn’t like this slimy
bastard, simple as that. I pulled the trigger an inch
from his ear, blowing a hole in the wall almost the
size of the Greek national deficit. Then the sound
of running feet and the babe-slash-housekeeper
burst in. I said, “Fuck off, and if I hear the phone,
you’ll be joining this dude.”
She took off.
I felt reasonably certain, not for the phone.
Gabriel was meanwhile whining,
“My ear, my ear, I can’t hear.”
Fucking tell me about it.
I stepped back from the desk, adjusted my hearing
aid, said,
“I can suggest a good ear man.”
He grabbed his glass, hands trembling, said,
“Taylor, you’ve no idea of what you’re getting
into. The Brethren have a very severe code of
punishment.”
I moved back to my seat, facing him, asked,
“Like, say, drowning a helpless old man. Are you
actually threatening me?”
The smirk was creeping back, not only to his face
but to his very tone. He said,
“You can take it as a guarantee.”
He was either very drunk or very stupid. I grabbed
the bottle, asked,
“May I?”
Even added a drop to his glass, I’m not vindictive .
. . much. Asked,
“An actual threat from a man of the cloth, this is
really something. You are serious, right?”
He lifted his glass, assured he’d regained the
higher ground, back in control, the peasant in his
place. I took a swig of the drink. It was smooth,
smooth as false hope. I sat back, lit up a cigarette,
just to see the flicker of annoyance on his movie
star face, clicked the Zippo, twice, asked,
“You hear that?”
He was all done with my idiocy, began to reach for
a file, said,
“I can hear fine now . . .”
I held up my damaged hand, said,
“Sh….ussh.”
God forgive me, it’s a rush to do that to a priest.
They’d been trying for bloody centuries to keep us
quiet, so throwing it back was a blast, if not indeed
blasphemy. I put the Mossberg on the oak desk,
would love if he tried for it, reached in my jacket,
took out a slim silver recorder. Bought it earlier in
the day from the Army and Navy Shop. They even
sold grenades, collector’s items. Asked,
“Ready?”
Hit the play button.
His face took a serious drop as he heard his rich,
clear voice.
I let it play, then pressed stop.
Put it back in my jacket, said,
“There will be two copies of this. One goes to
Garda headquarters in Dublin, unless your golfing
buddy Clancy really wants a copy? And the second
to my friend Kosta.”
He was speechless. Maybe he could join a Silent
Disorder.
I continued,
“Kosta I don’t think you’d like much. He hates
priests and for some odd reason has a real hard-on
for you. He got me the Mossberg and, cross my
bedraggled heart, I love him dearly but it has to be
said, he’s a nutter, your out-and-out psycho. The
kind of guy who’d cut your balls off and shove
them in your mouth. Or so they say. I haven’t
actually seen it but I think it’s probably true. And
here’s the best bit. You ready? He regards me as
his great friend. Go figure, huh? Anyway, sorry for
rambling on like a priest on a Sunday sermon, the
point is, if anything………….anything happens to
me, I were you, I’d hope the Guards came before
Kosta. So you see, I don’t like to be crude but I
have you by the . . . nuts.”
I stood up, drained my glass, put the gun back in
my jacket, said, “Keep it in your pants, padre.”
The housekeeper was standing by the door, her
face ablaze with anger and fury. She glared at me. I
said,
“Alanna, I’m not the enemy. Your boss in there, he
had the previous occupant of this house put in the
river.”
She spat in my face.
I let the spittle dribble down my cheek, no attempt
to stop it, stared at her. She began to move back. I
pulled off the glove, put my stumped fingers right
in her face, lied,
“Your precious employer, the saintly Gabriel in
there, he did that to me because he suspected I
knew some things. I have one question for you.”
She was transfixed by the ugly remains of my hand,
muttered,
“What?”
I pulled the glove back, asked,
“What does he think
you
know?”
Don’t play what’s there, play what’s
not there.
—Miles Davis
The call from Kosta was unexpected. He began,
“Jack, you extended me the hospitality of your
home. I’d like to repay the courtesy.”