Hawk (Stag) (3 page)

“I think we should try it out. What do you say?” He
waited for her answer while his body woke up with the mere thought of having
sex with her in here.

Cass undid the button on her shorts and stepped out of
them. Her panties followed and she lifted her top over her head, dropping it on
the marble floor. She turned and walked over to the shower. Hawk watched; his
gaze on her naked butt and long legs as she looked at the shower controls. He
reached out to the wall panel just inside the bathroom door and pressed the
setting. A wall of water fell from the ceiling and she looked around at him, a
smile of pleasure on her face before stepping under the deluge.

Hawk dropped his shorts and followed her. Standing in
this shower was the biggest buzz for him. After days of lying in wait for a
target, weeks without showering and being clean, this was one of his favorite
places to go when he made it home. He’d have to tell Cass this wasn’t a rental
sooner or later but for now he wanted to keep that to himself. The house had an
air of secrecy on the island and it suited him and the boys well. They all
visited at some stage or other for much needed down time and to get their heads
together after major missions. Convincing them to leave him alone for two weeks
had cost him dearly but it was going to be worth it if he could convince Cass
they had a future together.

He reached for the soap on a shelf and pumped a couple
of squirts into his hand. Rubbing them together until they lathered up, he slid
them down her back and cupped her butt massaging the soap into the pale skin.
Cass turned around and hooked her arms around his neck. She trailed her fingers
down his chest, leaning down to flick her tongue over his nipple, laughing when
he groaned.

“Toughen up, Hawk. You can face danger I can’t even
dream of but you go weak at the touch of my tongue on your body. Such a softie
at heart.” She traced a finger over a white line on his jaw line. “I didn’t
notice this before. What happened?”

“Hmm, that one would be a fist fight with a rogue
Serbian general.”

“This one?” She touched the puckered indentation on
his right arm where a bullet had torn through the muscle on a previous mission.

“Bullet. No big deal.”

She raised an eyebrow at his words, the water
trickling down her face. “Really? It’s a big deal to me. Turn around.  I
want to see what else you have in the way of injuries from the job.”

Hawk turned around and put his arms on the glass,
looking out over the ocean while she continued to inspect his skin. The scar on
his hip would throw her off. He could barely stand to look at it.  It
wasn’t only Pedro who had been hurt that day. Hawk had almost died along with
his second-in-command. Of course he blamed himself. He should have known the
insurgents would booby-trap the man they were trying to rescue. It was how they
worked but with no other option and the real risk of the prisoner being
executed, Hawks team had been sent in.

Her gentle touch soothed him, settling the demons that
reared their ugly heads. “Shrapnel, in case you were wondering. Two weeks in a
German hospital before I could come home. These things are going to happen,
Cass. You have to know and be ready for them.”

She leaned against his wet back, wrapping her arms
around his chest. “I’m doing my best to understand, honestly I am. You have to
give me time, Hawk.”

He looked at the breaking waves through the glass and
wondered if he would be able to convince her to stay past this holiday. She
deserved more but he needed her desperately. Hawk put a smile on his face and
turned around. “I will. You have all the time you want. In the meantime I’m
going to do the most delicious things to you so you won’t be able to live
without me.”

He cupped her butt and pulled her up so her sex was
against his. He stepped forward and leaned her against the glass of the shower
wall and reached down to guide himself inside her waiting body.

The vibration of his cell phone on the bedside table
woke Hawk. “Sir?”

“You need to come in. The chopper will be at your
place in ten minutes.”

“But Sir, you gave me two weeks off.” He ran a hand
over his face, cursing inwardly at his run of bad luck.

“Leave cancelled. Come in now.” The phone went dead in
his hand. Cass stirred beside him.

“Hmmm, who is that?” She rolled over and opened her
eyes. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I have to go. I’m sorry, Cass.”

She sat up in bed, the sheet falling to expose the
naked body he had worshiped all night long. He looked away, the temptation to
touch her still strong.

“But…”

“I know. I’m sorry but this is what my life is like.”
He slid out of bed and hurried to the dressing room beside the bathroom. He
pulled out a black t-shirt and black cargo pants, pulling them on as he hopped
back to the bedroom. She sat up in bed, a blank look on her face.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

She blinked and looked at him, her eyes devoid of
emotion.

“You can stay here until I get back. If you want to
use the truck the keys are in it, and you know the code for the gates. I’ll be
back as soon as I can.”

The
thwap
thwap
of the chopper broke through the still night air.
He glanced out the window and reached for his phone, then opened the drawer of
his nightstand. His pistol lay on top of a set of keys. He scooped them both
up, pushing the pistol into the waistband of his pants and dropping the keys
into a pocket.

Hawk walked around to Cass’s side of the bed and
leaned down. “I’m really sorry, Cass but this is what it’ll be like. Take care
and know that I love you. I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?” He kissed her
slowly, savoring the taste of her mouth against his. “I don’t want to lose you.
I can’t bear the thought of this coming between us.” He stood and looked down
on her one more time before walking out of the room and running down the
stairs.

Outside the chopper waited on the helipad near the
back of the house. He ducked and ran toward it. The door opened and Jasper held
out a hand. “Sorry, to ruin the lead up to your honeymoon, Boss. We have a
major problem.”

Hawk scrambled in and strapped himself into a seat
while the chopper rose in the air above his house flattening the palm fronds
and scattering sand over the dunes. He wondered if he’d lost his chance of
happiness with Cass for bailing on her once again.

***

Tears filled her eyes as she listened to the chopper
leave with Hawk. She couldn’t do this, it was too hard. Better to make the
decision now and move on. At least it would only hurt for a little while. If
they got married and she couldn’t deal with it, a divorce would just about kill
her.

Bad choice of words
. That was another hurdle she would have had to cross
if she’d made the decision to stay with him. Sleeping with a killer was
disconcerting. Sure he was the same Hawk she’d grown up with but somewhere
along the line he’d changed and become someone she didn’t understand. Soldiers
killed in the line of duty, any fool knew that but to become an army hit man—a
mercenary—didn’t sit well with her.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she turned her face
into the pillow, letting the sobs ease her pain.

When Cass woke again, the sun filtered through the
sheer curtains blowing gently in the breeze. She looked at Hawk’s side of the
bed hoping last night was a bad dream. He was gone and she was alone with the
indentation in the pillow where he’d laid his head and the smell his woodsy
cologne on the sheets.

Pain ripped through her chest, stealing the breath
from her lungs. It had been so good to have him back again. She couldn’t keep
doing this. Watching him leave was too damned hard to bear. The decision
already made, Cass rolled out of bed and pattered over to the huge shower she’d
shared with him yesterday. Hitting the control panel, she watched the sheet of
water fall from the ceiling before she stepped under the spray.

Her body was sensitive in spots after yesterday. Apart
from making love on the beach in the dunes, they’d repeated it in the shower
and then again in bed. She couldn’t get enough of him and now that particular
drug called lust would be extinguished before giving it full flight. Tears
streamed down her face as she washed.

Finished, Cass grabbed a towel and dried herself off
before finding her bag and putting on clean clothes. She may as well go back to
work. There was no point waiting for him to return, it would just make life
harder the next time he went away.

May as well make the cut quick and clean
.

She searched the bedroom for pen and paper and wrote
him a note, leaving it on his pillow. With a sigh, she closed the door behind
her and walked down the steps on heavy feet to the four-wheel-drive.

The keys were in it as he’d promised and she threw her
bag in the back before climbing in. Reversing out, she peered out of the window
at the house one last time before heading down the driveway. The gate opened
when she punched in the code and then Cass was on the track heading down to the
beach she loved. They’d walked this shoreline together, made love in the dunes.
How would she ever get over that? Life couldn’t get any better than the last
couple of days. Needing the connection for another moment, she parked the
vehicle and got out, her feet sinking into the white sand.

Cass walked down to the shoreline and picked up a
shell before looking out to the ocean.
Stay safe, Hawk. I couldn’t bear it
if anything happened to you. I don’t want to hurt you but this will kill me.
When you get back you’ll get over me. I doubt I’ll ever get over you.

The drive back to her cottage was the hardest journey
she had made. Parking the four-wheel-drive in the staff car park, she grabbed her
bag and headed to her own quiet sanctuary.

For the next four days, she kept to herself, only
leaving the privacy of her cottage to walk alone on the beach. On the fifth
day, she reported for work.

“Plans didn’t quite turn out how I wanted. If you
don’t mind, I’ll keep those extra days for another time.”

“Sure, we can use the help. Heidi called in sick today
and we’re down and busy as all heck out there.” Her manager smiled. “You know
I’m here if you need to talk too, Cass. We’ve worked together for a long time
and I thought we were friends.”

“Thanks, Helen. I really don’t want to discuss it at
the moment, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure. Anyway, I’m here if you need me.”

Cass headed out to reception and got back into her job
selling tours of the island. Staying busy was the only thing that kept her
sane.

For the rest of the week she showed up for work,
living in hope that the pain in her chest would eventually fade but it didn’t,
it got worse. If anything, she stressed out more than she had the last time
he’d gone away. Was he alive? Hurt or captured? Was he thinking about her? What
would he say when he read her letter? Would he come after her or leave her
alone?

The wind was no more than a small puff of air on a hot
day that didn’t do anyone a lick of good. Tempers were short as a storm built
up out to sea and everyone prayed for a good dose of rain to cool things down.
A particularly fussy tourist demanded she go through every tour on the books,
and when he finally chose a beach tour for the following morning around the
island, Cass breathed a sigh of relief.

“Next please.”

“Cass?”

She looked up into the eyes of a tall blond-haired man
with a painful-looking scar running across one cheek from his temple to his nose.
Her stomach rolled as she recognized the same look in his eyes Hawk had—the
constant search for danger, the body ready at any sign of attack.

“What is it? Is he alright?” Her blood ran cold as her
mind raced ahead, envisaging all or any of the things that could have happened
to Hawk.

“You need to come with me.” He reached for her arm and
she stepped back.

“Larry, I need to take a break. Call Helen if you need
any more help, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

She grabbed her handbag from under the counter and
looked at the man watching her. The corner of his mouth twitched and she saw a
flicker of humor in his eyes. He didn’t look funny; he scared the crap out of
her. Bigger than Hawk, he had muscles most men could only dream about. He had
to be one of Hawk’s men.

“I can give you five minutes, that’s all.” She walked
past him, and headed outside to the back of the resort where they could speak.
He followed her, his mouth grim. When she stopped by the pathway leading down
to the beach, he stood over her. “Right, tell me what you have to say and go. I
need to get back to work.”

“He needs you. You’re coming with me.”

“No!” She took a step backwards. “It’s over. There’s
nothing more to say.”

“Wrong answer.” He stepped forward and scooped her up
in his arms. With Cass frozen in fear, he walked down the path to the beach
where a four-wheel-drive was parked. He dumped her in the front passenger seat
and clipped in her safety belt. “Stay.”

Trembling more with rage than fear, Cass watched him
climb in the driver’s seat. “We’re done, it’s over.”

He headed down to the low tide line and drove without
looking at her again. “He needs you and in my book that means Hawk gets you.”

“You can’t do this. It’s kidnapping.”

A muscle in his scarred cheek twitched. “He’s hurt.
The only thing that kept him going was seeing you again. He even refused to go
to hospital in Germany as is the normal rule.”

“Hurt, how bad is he?”

“Pretty bad but he’ll live this time. Stupid fool
tried to get himself home. No wonder the boss didn’t want him to hook up with
you.”

 “What? He told me the boss said…” She looked out
the window, his words coming back to her.

“He said he could but only after Hawk handed in his
notice.” The blond shook his head and laughed. “The unit would fall apart
without him so there was no choice. But that doesn’t change things. He still
needs you.”

Cass was confused and her mind was in turmoil. “How
badly is he hurt?”

“Gunshot wound to his leg, broke a bone and he lost a
heap of blood.” He turned the four-wheel-drive up the track toward the house.
“He needs rest but he needs you more.”

“What happened?” She glanced over.

“You know I can’t tell you the details.”

“I need to know.” She watched the man’s mouth turn
down in a grim line before he glanced at and made his decision.

“We had to go and rescue a family being held by
insurgents. No ransom was ever going to be paid so you can guess the outcome if
we hadn’t been sent in.” He pulled over at the gate and looked at her. “There
were children involved. That never goes down well with any of the team. Kids
involved in war … that’s just wrong, Ma’am. Anyway, we thought we had them all
when one of the kids panicked and ran back.”

“Oh no.” Cass had a moment of breathlessness waiting
for the rest of the story.

“Hawk ran after him. We couldn’t go back and help, we
had our orders to get the rest of them out and that’s what we did. I made sure
they were all in the chopper before I headed back. There were gunshots fired
and he got caught up in it.”

“Did the child … did you manage to…”

“Yeah, your superhero man managed to get the kid out
even with a shattered leg. Bloody fool.” He leaned out and punched the code
into the security pad next to the gate. The movement caught her unawares and
she jumped, hunkering closer to the door, so tense to hear the outcome of the
story.

She blinked and realized there were tears in her eyes.

Hawk’s team mate pushed a tissue in front of her face.
Cass looked over at the man who’d brought her here. A crooked smile changed his
whole appearance. “Thanks.”

“Name’s Romeo and you’re welcome. I have a vested
interest in this working out for you guys. Just listen to what he has to say
and remember … you were all he could talk about on the flight home. He needs
you and this country needs him. By the way, I burned your note. Only you and I
know about it.” Romeo put the four-wheel-drive in gear and drove up to the
house, parking underneath it.

Cass jumped out of the passenger seat and walked
around to the house. Romeo took her arm and led her up the stairs where a man
in commando colors stood guard at the door.

“Thank fuck you found her. I can’t take anymore of his
freaking shit today.” He looked between her and Romeo. “Sorry, Ma’am. It’s been
hard on us all. I’m glad to see you made it safely.”

“Stand down, Harper. I’ll take the next watch.”

Cass was led inside. The lounge was cleared of the
furniture she saw last time she was here. Now in the middle of the room was a
hospital bed with medical equipment close by. Lying pale and still on the bed
was Hawk.