Have I Told You (12 page)

I just stood there in the doorway and watched her go. I stood there until the tail lights were not visible anymore. I felt hollow. Turning to walk back into the building, I raked my fingers through my hair, pulling hard. Suddenly, all the breath was taken from my lungs, like I was punched in the gut. I bent over, resting my elbows on my knees, and took gasping breaths. Rage was building up in me. How could I be so stupid to let her go? I stood up and punched the first picture to my left. It came crashing down in a waterfall of glass around my feet.

I stormed down the hall and pulled out my phone to dial Terrance. “Terrance, please, tell me you are taking her to Beth’s apartment… Good. How is she? No, don’t answer that… Don’t forget about the bag in the back. Walk her to the door, and if she won’t let you, don’t leave until she is in the apartment. Thank you, Terrance.”

I gripped the phone until I heard it start to crack. I could hear her in the background crying, it was awful. Looking around the room, I saw her beautiful face smiling back at me. It tore me apart. I started racing around the room turning over tables, ripping down pictures, throwing bulletin boards.

A knock at the door pulled me out of my raged trance. “Hello?”

“FUCK!” I screamed to no one in particular.

The door cracked open and Luca my new intern said “Mr. Black, um, sir. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here. I heard the commotion as I, um, was coming to get things prepared to set up a…” He stopped when he saw the state of the room and his eyes immediately cast downward.

“It’s okay, Luca. We are scrapping the Miss Bennett idea as my newest Sweetheart. Please, have someone come clear this room.”

“Very well, sir,” Luca muttered, as he quickly turned and ran back down the hall.

Damn, my hand hurt. I looked down at it, I was bleeding. Fuck. I wiped it on my shirt. So many thoughts were running through my head. I found my work laptop amongst the rubble of the office and quickly started writing to Sabrina. I have to get her back. I will do anything. I will do everything in my power to get her back.

I sat, staring at my screen, willing a response to my email to come through. I know she has the iPad, because Terrance had come back to get me at Black Hollywood. I sat staring at the screen overnight. I was not even sure what time it was anymore, and still, nothing. I got up, and started pacing again. The room was still a mess, no one on my staff wanted to come in here to clear it while I was still here. I looked down and saw a picture of Sabrina. Her long brunette locks were cascading down her back, and she was looking at the camera, as if she knew someone was taking her picture. Her creamy white skin was flawless, her smile barely there, her hazel eyes looked sad, even though she had a smile on her face. I touched the picture. I wanted to feel her again. Hold her in my arms.

I was ready to walk out of the room when my email pinged. I rushed over to the screen and looked at it. It was her. Quickly opening it, I read, and it felt like she ripped my heart out and stepped on it. I sat down at the desk and wept into my hands. I started typing my soul out to her. I have to get her to let me back in. Finally, I stopped and hit delete, she wanted time. I had to accept that. Looking down at the picture, I tucked it into my pocket, and headed out to the garage where Terrance was waiting.

“Sir, the iPhone came in. Should I deliver it to her in the morning?”

Looking up, I could see the pity in his eyes. He knew just as much as I did that she was a catch, and I had let her slip through my fingers.

“Please.” I slid into the seat and laid my head back and closed my eyes, so I didn’t have to think. My mind had other plans though and ran away with ideas on getting her back.

Beth was nice enough to let me stay in her apartment over spring break, the longest week of my life. Thankfully, it was rainy and gloomy, which reflected my mood perfectly. I slept for countless hours. The only time I got up was to go to keep my follow up appointment at the clinic from an earlier health problem. I didn’t eat, who knows how much weight I lost in five days? I was miserable. Why was I doing this to myself? It was my choice to be away from him.

The doorbell rang twice every day while Beth was gone, but I didn’t want to answer it.

I woke up on Monday to the sun shining. Any other day I would’ve been happy to see the sun, but not today. I still had nothing to be happy about. I had a massive headache, and I felt hung-over. Emotional hangovers are worse, I think. You cannot just get sick and make it go away. It stays with you.

I laid on the bed and pulled the covers up to my chin, squeezed my eyes shut, and tried to will myself back to sleep. Last week I was in the arms of the perfect man, today I’m waking up alone. Was I stupid for leaving him? The same internal fight brewed in my head and heart again this morning, just as it had every day for the last week.

I could hear Beth singing to the radio in the kitchen. I was thankful she was finally back. Like clockwork, the doorbell rang. I sat straight up in bed, with my eyes wide open. I nervously looked over at the bedroom door. Who was Beth talking too? I could hear her laughing and flirting. Ugh, the last thing I needed was to watch her and Broc be all lovey dovey. I sank back down in bed and pulled the covers over my head, trying to tune out any thoughts of love.

No sooner did the covers reach my face when my door flung open. “Good morning! How’s my girl today? Did you miss me? I missed you! I wanted to talk to you last night when I got home, but you were already asleep,” Beth sang.

I groaned, “Go away.”

“Can’t. I’m under strict orders to give you this.”

I knew she was holding something out in front of me, but I refused to look. “Whatever it is I don’t want it”.

“Fuck that,” she said, as she plopped down next to me. “If you don’t want it, I’ll take it.”

She pulled the covers down and shoved a small box in my face. “What is it?”

“Don’t know. Some guy named Terrance dropped it off. Um, you so need to introduce me. I’d love to get to know him better.”

I glared at her like she had two heads. “Set it on the table and get out.”

“Nope.” She said, bouncing on the bed. “I want to see what it is. Plus, I need to get you moving. You have got to go to school today.”

I groaned. “I’m sure Professor Lee has already filed my expulsion papers.”

I sat up and took the box from her. She smiled, and got up to walk out. “I’ll be leaving in a half hour, so get ready.”

I stared at the box in my hands. In my heart I wanted to rip it open, but my head was telling me to throw it away. I took a deep breath, set it aside, and got up to shower. I hoped my extra shoes were still at school, since my dance bag was at Caston’s house. Tears started to well up, again, but I shook them off and got ready.

When I was done I met Beth by the front door. She had a spring in her step and smiled when she saw me. “So glad you decided to come with me. It will be like old times, just you and me.”

“Oh, sure. I don’t think so Beth, sorry.”

“Stop,” she took my hands in hers, “you’re a strong, confident, rather skinny person, did you lose weight?”

I just smiled and thanked God that she didn’t mention the box sitting on my bedside table.

“Thanks, Beth, for everything.”

Arriving at the dance studio, I took a deep breath to clear my head before I approached Professor Lee. I knew she was going to be very angry with me, and I prayed that she wouldn’t kick me out. Straightening my spine, I walked in with my head held high. I spotted her across the room, helping out another girl with her turnout. My stomach was in knots, as I walked over to her. “Professor Lee, may I speak with you?”

“Ms. Bennett,” Professor Lee stood up, with a big smile on her face, “I’m so happy to see you, again. Go, my dear, go get ready we have class to start.” She hugged me, and scooted me off toward the locker rooms.

I’m not sure what just happened. I was ready to plead for my position in the dance program, and she was welcoming me back with open arms, no questions asked, or retribution for missing so many classes.

Arriving at the locker room the other girls seemed to be whispering among themselves. No sooner did I walk in they stopped, looked over at me, and quickly walked around me, before continuing what they were saying. It was very strange. What was going on?

Stripped down in the locker room, I was in my tiny v-string thong, looking through my locker for a leotard. I heard the door open, but didn’t think anything of it because class should be starting soon and others had to get ready. I stopped digging in the bottom of the locker when I felt eyes on my backside. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I knew exactly who was standing behind me. Feeling that tingle in my lower regions, I stood up and slowly turned around. There he was, standing in front of me again. His eyes bore straight to my soul. He held out my dance bag. “Thought you might need this.”

I wasn’t going to cover up in front of him. “Thank you.” I said, reaching forward to grab the bag from him. He caught my wrist, tugging me toward him. I gasped, as I crashed into his rock hard chest. I could smell his cologne and my legs felt weak.

“Why won’t you let me explain? Give me a chance,” he whispered into my ear, sounding so somber. His hot breath making me shiver.

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to forgive him. I wanted to make him pay. I wanted to lose myself in him. I had no idea what I wanted.

His thumb started to stroke my back, and a small whimper escaped my lips. I looked up at him, and put my hand to his face. Searching his eyes for the truth. I could see in his eyes he was sorry. He looked like a little puppy staring at me. Could I simply believe him? I could see deep into his soul that he would do anything in his power to get me back. We both sunk to our knees and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me onto his lap. His mouth sought mine, and my lips parted to let his eager tongue in. I pulled back, trying to catch my breath. His mouth found my neck and I closed my eyes and moaned. “Caston,” I said breathless, “Please, don’t ever lie to me, again. I can’t take the lies, and I won’t stay. I’ve been treated wrong for too long. I’m going to be a new stronger, confident woman.”

“Sabrina, I’ll never lie to you, again. I’m so sorry I lost your trust. I’ll do everything in my power to get it back. I’ll tell you anything you want to know, and answer any questions you have. Please, come back to me.”

His mouth was all over my neck and shoulders, seeking comfort and asking for forgiveness. I wanted him so badly. The deep pull on my insides made me tighten my legs around him, looking for comfort. I could feel him growing underneath me. I wanted him. My hands twisted in his hair and pulled his head down to my chest. I needed him to kiss me there. We were getting lost in the moment when there was a knock on the door. “Hello?”

“Damn!” Caston said into my chest, making me giggle. He looked up at me and smiled. “That is the sound I love to hear. Please, forgive me?”

I nodded and gave him a peck on the lips before he stood us both up. He quickly straightened himself. I quickly grabbed my robe out of my bag, trying to hide my blush that was rising in my cheeks. I had to cover my mouth to hide my smile when I noticed what I had done to his hair. It usually looked perfectly messed up, but now it looks like we were up to no good in here.

“Mr. Black?” Professor Lee’s voice echoed into the locker room. “Is everything okay in here?”

“Yes, Professor Lee. Ms. Bennett and I were just talking.”

I had to cover my mouth to not laugh out loud.

“Please, hurry her up I’m ready to start class.”

“Yes, ma’am. I will make sure she is out shortly.”

I heard the door close upon her leaving, and Caston was back at my side in a nanosecond. His mouth engulfed mine as he stripped the robe off my shoulders, pushing it down to pool around my feet. He quickly lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he backed me into the row of lockers. His strong hands squeezed and kneaded my butt. His mouth quickly made its way down my neck, sucking a trail to my right nipple. My hands were pulling his shirt out of the back of his pants, and I wiggled my hips against the bulge in his pants to get more friction where I wanted it. His moan into my breast fueled my fire even more. I pulled the shirt over his head, then my hands roamed his hard muscles. My mouth sought skin, and tasted it magnificent, as my hands moved to the button of his jeans. Fumbling for a few seconds I finally felt the button pop and I slid my hands down to release his manhood. His mouth moved over to my other breast, and my head fell back slightly taking in a deep breath. His talented tongue did a dance over my nipple that sent shock waves through my body. “Caston, I need you. Please.” I didn’t need to ask twice. His finger slipped in me and he touched my core. I erupted in his hand and with a flick of his wrist my thong snapped. He quickly pulled out a condom and entered me, making me gasp at the fullness. My head rested into the crook of his neck and my hands tangled into his hair. His motions were fluid. I felt myself building again. I could tell by his grunts and clenched muscles he was almost there, too. I moved my head up to his ear and sucked on his lobe. The deep growl in his throat sent me over the edge, and he quickly followed me.