Haunting Secrets (17 page)

She sniffed and shook her head. “Justin, what a fool I am. How do you tolerate me?”

He arched a brow. “Pardon me?”

“I’m blaming you, when I shouldn’t be. I was just so frightened last night, and I wanted you to come to my rescue so much I ached.” She wiped the back of her hand under her nose. “You must hate me.”

Justin’s heart lightened. “Oh, Victoria. I could never hate you.”

“I shouldn’t have blamed you, not when you tried to warn me.” Her body stiffened then she drew back. When she looked at him, her forehead was creased and quizzical eyes stared at him. “How did you know to warn me about Roderick?”

Once more, anger surged through him, making him want to spit fire. “My younger brother is a conceited, ignorant, man. He thinks of pleasure only for himself, and doesn’t give a whit about anyone else. He is dangerous, especially for innocent young ladies.” He ran the pads of his thumbs underneath her eyes, removing the moisture. “Did he touch you?”

Slowly, she nodded. “He had me drink something vile that burned my throat. When I felt as if I was losing control of my limbs, he helped me to my room. I wanted him to leave. I asked him to, but he ignored me. He took me to my bed…”

Justin gritted his teeth. He’d kill his brother for touching her! “Oh, Victoria.” His voice broke as he held her close. “Please forgive me for not being there.”

She sniffed. “Roderick tried to remove my dress, and again I asked him to leave. That time, he did.”

He looked down into her eyes. “He didn’t force you in any way?”

“No, but I’d never been so frightened in my life.”

Cradling her in his arms, he stroked his palm up and down her back. “I swear, I’ll do everything I can to keep him away from you. Even if it means…” He sucked in a deep breath. What was he thinking? He couldn’t come out of hiding.

She lifted her head and met his stare. “If it means what?” She touched the side of his face, tenderly running her fingers over his scars. “What are you keeping from me, Justin?”

“Victoria, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Why do you hide from everyone? You’re not a ghost like your family has declared. So why hide? You’re the Master of the Manor. Can’t you reclaim your title?”

Squeezing his eyes closed, he rested his head against her forehead. “If it were only that easy. You don’t know how I long to take back the life I used to have.” He opened his eyes and peered into her gaze. “You don’t know how badly I want to be a man, to be free to touch and kiss you like I’ve missed doing.” He stroked the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. “You’ve been the first woman in a year, Victoria. Being with you has brought back feelings I can’t deny any longer.”

She caressed the side of his face lovingly. “What happened to you a year ago, Justin? Why can’t you be the man you once were?”

“It’s too complicated.” Groaning, he closed his eyes and titled his head back. “I fear telling you the truth will put you in more danger.”

She kissed his lips lightly. “Then take me away from here. Today. You and me, together.”

He took her head and pulled her down for another kiss. She complied and answered just the way he wanted—the way he’d been dreaming about for so long now. How he wanted to forget his beastly existence and run away with her. If it were only that easy.

But the fact remained; she needed to leave before the witch harmed her.

He ended the kiss and stood. “Victoria, my love. I’ll take you away from here, only because it’s dangerous. But I must return.”

She scowled. “No. That’s ridiculous. Why would you want to come back to this?” Her expression softened and she smiled. “Don’t you want to be with me?”

His heart twisted as agony shot inside him once again. “More than anything, but not now. It’s impossible.”

Frowning, she rose to her feet right in front of him. She folded her arms across her bosom and paced the floor. “Then if you won’t leave, neither will I.”

“Victoria, be reasonable.”

“I mean it, Justin.” She faced him and planted her hands on her hips. “My feelings for you run very deep, and I think you’re experiencing the same kind of emotions.”

He nodded.

“Then if you want me to leave, you have to be open with me. You have to tell me the truth.”

Justin cupped her face, fear twisting his stomach. Could he? Would she understand? Would she still look at him as a man and not a monster?

He swallowed hard. “If I’m honest with you, will you open up to me?”

“Oh, yes.” She clutched his shoulders. “There’s nothing I want more than to tell you why I’m really here.”

Confusion crinkled his forehead. “Why are you really here, Victoria?”

“I came to find you.”

His heart leapt and tightness constricted in his chest. What was she talking about? Hadn’t she come to court Jonathan? “You’re here for me?”

She nodded. “You were the last person I know of who spoke to my father before he died. I need your help to find who killed him.”

At the mention of her father, he smiled in remembrance. He’d loved that man like a father. It saddened him to learn Peter had died, but Justin didn’t know if he could help. Although, he’d do anything to help Victoria find the killer. Unfortunately, it happened a year ago, and he didn’t think they had a chance now.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but I don’t know who would have killed him.”

Tears moistened her lashes even through her smile. She clasped his hands. “Thank you, Justin. My father talked highly of you, and I know he loved you.”

“When I last visited with him, he talked of you. He wanted us to meet, you know.”

Her cheeks darkened and she lowered her gaze. “Yes, he’d mentioned it a few times. He said you were the kind of man he wanted me to…marry.” Her voice softened at the end.

“Before I left, he gave me paintings.”

Her eyes widened. “Paintings?”

“Yes. I assumed they were painted by him, yet he never told me about that talent.”

She shook her head. “He didn’t paint, at least not what I know of, anyway. Do you still have these paintings?”

“Actually, some are still hanging on the walls in the manor. You’ll recognize them because they don’t have the painter’s signature.”

She gasped. “I remember seeing them.”

“I kept some in my room.” He glanced around the semi-darkened chamber. “Not this one, but my other room.”

“Father would have been pleased you thought so much of them. It would also have made him happy to know you’re going to help me.”

Justin raised her hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Being with you lightens my heart. I’ll do anything for you, Victoria.”

“Anything?”

“Yes.”

“Then tell me why you’re hiding.”

Chapter Ten

Victoria held her breath, waiting, hoping, and praying Justin would trust her with his secret. He must. Despite her initial misgivings, she had fallen in love with him. If he didn’t trust her enough to tell her, it would break her heart because she’d know then he didn’t return her affection.

Justin pulled away and paced the floor of his bedroom. Jaw hard and lips tight, he ran his fingers through his hair. What could be rolling through his mind right now? Could his past be that horrible?

Finally, he stopped in front of her. Closing his eyes, he heaved a deep breath. Pain etched his face as if he struggled inwardly with his emotions. She waited for him to speak.

He squared his shoulders and met her gaze. Warm eyes held her captive, yet the anguish laced in his expression tore at her heart.

“Victoria, as hard as this is for me to say, I’m quite certain it’ll be harder to believe. I’m…not human.”

He paused as if waiting for her to say something, but she couldn’t. They’d had this discussion before when she pointed out she didn’t believe in ghosts.

“I’ve been cursed.” He swallowed hard. “My family is embarrassed by me and bade me to hide away in the East Wing. They spread rumors that I’m a ghost so nobody was tempted to come into my sanctuary. But as you can see, I’m not a ghost. Unfortunately, the truth is harder to believe.”

She shook her head. “You’re not making sense.”

He fisted his hands by his side. “A year ago, a witch cursed me.” He paused, keeping his eyes on her.

She gasped, her heart slamming against her ribs.
A witch?
He was right. Ghosts were easier to comprehend.

“I was about to dismiss some of my staff and throw my brother and sister-in-law out of the house, but my plans were stopped. Not liking what I was about to do, the witch put a curse on me. A curse so bad I’m afraid to show myself, which is why I’m in hiding.”

Fear clutched her throat. She twisted her hands against her middle. “Why, Justin? How did she curse you?”

Growling, he ran his fingers through his hair once more, still meeting her stare.

“She wanted me to love her. I wouldn’t. So she cursed me from desiring other women.” He took a deep breath. “Every time I’m remotely interested in a woman, I turn into a beast.”

She gasped and quickly brought her hand to her mouth. “A beast?” she whispered.

“To be more precise, I shift into…the white wolf.”

Shock vibrated through her body, making her step back until she bumped into the bed. Her limbs shook, and she sat on the edge of the mattress. This couldn’t be. Not the white wolf.

A throb pounded in her forehead and she rubbed the spot, hoping to make it disappear. “You—you killed Sarah?”

He groaned. “I suppose. I don’t remember. I’ve never remembered what happens when I shift.”

“Then how do you know?”

“The witch informs me of these deaths the next day.” He placed his hand over his heart. “And I feel it in here.” He moved beside her, kneeling in front of her. “Victoria, I swear I don’t remember. I don’t understand why I kill. Not once have I desired Sarah or the other girls who were killed.”

“Could the witch be lying to you?”

“I don’t know. All I know is whenever a woman is killed, I have shifted.”

Confusion swam in her head, along with many questions. Nothing made sense or seemed real. “Justin? Do you know who the witch is?”

“Yes.”

“Why can’t you kill her?”

Releasing a sigh, he bent his head and rested it on her lap. Gingerly, she twirled her fingers around his locks of hair.

“I cannot kill her, Victoria,” he said without looking up. “If she dies, my curse remains intact. Only she can break the curse, which means she has to live. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to kill her, but I don’t want to be a beast for the rest of my life.”

“Is there anything you can do to make her break the curse?”

He lifted his head and met her eyes. Sadness etched deeply in his expression. “No. In the beginning, she wanted my affection, which I could never give. Lately, she’s wanted something I don’t have. I try to tell her, but she doesn’t believe me.”

“What does she demand of you?”

“She wants to know if I have the treasure map to the island.”

“Slumbering Giant?” She blinked as her mouth opened wide.
Ridiculous.
The witch was a mad woman. “Did you tell her there’s no such thing?”

“Yes. She refuses to listen.”

“Then we have to make her listen.”

He shook his head and frowned. “She’s stubborn. I’ve tried for a year now. Nothing is working.”

“Then I shall talk to her. My father—”

“Absolutely not.” He jumped to his feet. “You’ll not even think about that, Victoria. You don’t know how dangerous she will become if she thinks you have the answers.”

“But I don’t. My father’s last book was about the island. I’ll tell her to read it—”

“Victoria.” He grasped her hands and yanked her to her feet before sliding his arms around her, bringing her close to his body. “Promise me you’ll stop thinking like that. I cannot put you in harm’s way. I have to deal with the witch on my own. Nobody else can be involved.”

Warmth spread through her and she couldn’t stem the flow of love that accompanied it. Her heart ached for this man, and although she wanted to help, she knew he was right. There wasn’t anything she could do without opening herself up to danger.

Her heart cried out in angry protest. Why was this happening? Finally, she’d found a man who fulfilled her; who made her complete. Now she learned their future was not meant to be. Life couldn’t be this cruel.

Standing this close to him was tempting fate. He shifted into the white wolf if he felt desire, and as much as she wanted to hold him by her side forever, she couldn’t put him through the pain of knowing he’d hurt someone he loved.

Tears filled her eyes as she lowered her head. She pushed away from him until they were not touching. “Please forgive me for wanting to help you.” Her voice trembled. “I need some time to think.”

“As you wish.” The tone of his voice was soft, and laced with pain. Probably the same pain stabbing through her chest right now.

She turned, and on shaky legs, made her way through the tunnel to her bedchamber. With each step, her heart crumbled, especially when he didn’t try to stop her.

When she reached her room, she flung herself on the bed and sobbed. Her mind in turmoil, she prayed for relief soon. She loved Justin, yet how could she be with him now? Every kiss, every touch would make her fear he’d shift.

Rubbing the moisture from her eyes, she laid on her back. Remembering the way he’d kissed her earlier, like he couldn’t get enough, caused trickles of delight to run rapid over her body. No wonder he’d acted in such a manner. He thought he’d killed her.

She sighed and clutched the pillow to her chest. Agony wrenched a hole in her heart, only because she didn’t know how to help him. Yet who else could?

He’d mentioned the witch had wanted the treasure map. But there was no treasure map. Not according to her father’s book. Did he know something she didn’t? Could he have known his life was in peril?

Another thing that confused her was those paintings. According to Justin, her father had given him some paintings, yet her father didn’t possess that talent.

She jerked upright, dropping the pillow. Could the paintings hold a secret? Was that why her father sent them to Justin?