Haunting Magic (Ink Book 6) (11 page)

I am Hope Andrews. I am Hope Andrews. I am Hope Andrews.

I keep repeating it on a loop so I don’t forget. I am the wife of Slade Andrews. My husband is a rock star. My husband is a big deal. And I am his wife. I am the girl madly in love with Slade Andrews.

It’s a simple sentence. Four simple words. So why is it so hard to remember when I am staring at a crowd of people pointing cameras at me?

Why am I sweating? I have deodorant on. What if this deodorant doesn’t work and they notice? What if the tabloids write up an entire story
about my body odor
?

“I am, Hope… Andrews.” There I said. I got the words out. Now if I could get a grip on my racing heart before I die in front of these reporters. Man, what an article would that be:
Slade Andrews wife keels over on national television.

Now they are looking at me.

“Do you have anything to say?” One news reporter asks me. I keep smiling even though I have no idea what she is even saying. I don’t know what she asked me. I was too busy focusing on my name to even remember a single god damn syllable.

“Not really,” I tell her. My cheeks hurt. It can’t be good to smile so much. I Am I smiling too much? Maybe I should tone it down because smiling too much could make you seem crazy. But what if they think I am crazy because I go straight face all of a sudden?

“Not even one thing?” Another reporter asks, he holds out his microphone and raises an eyebrow trying to pull something out of me.

Shit. I  faked enough conversations in my life to get through this one. I will just agree. I will just agree with whatever they asked. It couldn’t be that bad. Most reporters have nothing but great things to say about the band. The guys are doing great. They are at the top of their career. That’s what their manager says whenever he calls.

“Is it true?” They wait, human vultures ready to devour something rancid.

I take a deep breath and invite the air into my lungs and nod my head. A million light bulbs flash, I have made the worst mistake ever in my life. It’s written on Slade’s face. It’s written on Karsen’s.

I sit back in my seat and look around.
Fuck.

Slade leans in and whispers. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He shakes his head and laughs. “Why is this so hard for you?”

I beg the blood to back off of my cheeks. I don’t need the entire room knowing I feel so stupid.

Karsen leans in. “You realize you just admitted to sleeping with Kidd right?” She smooths her hair and keeps a smile plastered on her face as she looks at the cameras. “On national television.”

What. The. Fuck.

I cover my face with my hand and let the rest of them deal with what I just did. I am a moron. A big moron who can’t handle fame. And it’s not even my fame, it’s my husbands. I am the wife. I am supposed to be his supporter. Instead I am agreeing with total bullshit gossip and feeding peanuts to the media circus.

I stand up. I need to leave and I need to do it without falling on my face. I pull the microphone pack out from under my shirt and struggle with the wires. They don’t want to let go, they want me to stay there looking like an idiot.  The assistant comes on stage and frees me from the stupid contraption and I take off down the steps and around the crowd of reporters to the exit in the back. I burst through the door and out into the studio parking lot.

“Stop freaking out,” Slade says when he comes out the door. He takes a few steps forward until he is in front of me and he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight.

“I said I slept with Kidd,” I groan, gripping his t-shirt. He’s laughing. And this only makes me feel worse.

“Don’t worry Karsen assured them she watched. She said after having the baby she’s been so tired she gave Kidd permission to sleep with you,” and he laughs again, and when he stops he presses a kiss into the top of my head smoothing my hair. “It’s okay. Tomorrow you will laugh about it, I swear. Now let’s go home.”

“I am such an idiot.” This doesn’t make me feel better. I don’t want to look like the dumb wife that can’t hold her own in front of the cameras. Everyone else can hold it together but me. I am a bumbling stumbling idiot.

“This our life,” he reminds me. “The band is where we always wanted to be. And you and I are husband and wife. We have everything we always wanted.”

I roll my eyes. “I wanted to be more than your wife. You are cute but not so cute I’d give up my dreams.”

Slade shrugs. “That’s not what you say in the bedroom.”

I slap him in the arm. Because what I say when Slade’s mouth is on my body and his hands are roaming my flesh and what I say when I am clothed and not near him are two different things. Even today after everything, I still am  so in love with this asshole.

Even when things are a mess.

“There is nothing better than seeing my wife first thing in the morning all wet,” Slade says from the doorway of our bathroom. He holds onto the frame of the door—shirtless and delicious looking.

Not to mention the messy hair from rolling out of bed.

I poke my toe out of the water and smile at him from the soak tub. “Good morning.”

He walks over and gives me a quick kiss on the lips.

“Have you recovered from yesterday?” If he is referring to admitting to sleeping with Kidd sure. If he is talking about waking up from the worst nightmare of my life—hell no. I still get pangs of fear about that god awful dream.

I sink lower in the tub and shake my head. “I’ve never been so devastated in my entire life.” And that’s saying a lot because I have lost my father. And my grandmother. “Thinking I lost you, it was gut wrenching. I never want to feel that way again.”

Slade takes his pants off.

“What are you doing?”

He walks over to the tub and climbs in. He sinks down into the water. “Come here.”

“For what?” I do as he asks even though I don’t want to be pitied. I slip around in the tub until I am nestled between his legs and he wraps his arms around me. He moves my wet hair from my neck and presses a kiss on my jawline.

“I can’t just hold you?” I sink back into the water and against his chest and shut my eyes.

“You can hold me.” I stroke his arm and just enjoy the moment because I am afraid that it will go away. Hutch’s words are never far from my conscious and I am afraid that he could be right.

“Marrying you was the best decision I ever made.”

I touch his face and smile. “Even better than becoming a rock star?”

He takes my hand and kisses my fingertips. “Even better than that.”

I let out a sigh of relief I’m so relaxed. Being in Slade’s arm, hearing him tell me how much I mean to him. It’s a safe and peaceful place. I want to stay this way forever.

“Dax said something the other night,” Slade says. That’s enough to end the peace and relaxation.

“What did your brother have to say?”

“He said you were asking about bringing back the dead,” Slade informs me. Shit. “Is that why you were on the roof?”

I feel like a kid getting caught by their parents smoking. I go on the defense. “If I want to practice magic that’s my choice.”

Slade sighs and forces me to look at him. “You can’t bring them back you and I both know this. We tried this. You could have killed yourself.”

I pull away from him and then move back to my side of the tub. I draw my feet up and wrap my arms around them and glare at Slade. “You don’t know what it feels like. You aren’t missing anyone.”

My words are harsh and he knows it but he also knows I have lost a lot because of him so he doesn’t react. “I’d miss you if anything happened to you.”

I reach out my hand and Slade takes it. I can’t be mad at him. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” I sigh. “I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t care. I miss them.”

Slade’s eyes move from my face down to my shoulders and back up again. “And if I could take that pain away I would in a heartbeat. You know that right?”

I scoot toward him smiling. And his eyes light up knowing I am becoming okay again. That for the moment he can fix me. We kiss.

He brushes my hair out of the way and touches my face with his hands. “I love you. And it’s hard to see you hurting. I would take it away in a second. Remember that.”

I nod, pressing my forehead into his. “I know.” I touch his face, feeling the stubble forming. “You love me, I know it.”

***

The music tonight is giving me a headache. And I would much rather be home, sleeping not listening to the band play a concert. But I promised to go on the tour with Slade this time.

“This show is bad ass,” Dax yells in my ear, he hands me a beer and takes in the music from off stage with me.

“It’s not bad,” I tell him. “But I have a headache.” I give the beer back.

“I imagine after trying to bring back the dead is exhausting,” he takes a sip of his beer and grins.

“I lost my dad. Can you blame me?”

“Some things aren’t meant to be. You can’t alter someone’s existence without consequences. I think you understand that more than anyone.”

“Sure.” I’m not sure what he is trying to say. He was the one bringing these things up.

“My brother would kill me if anything ever happened to you. I was an idiot for ever bringing it up,” he tells me. “Sometimes I don’t think.”

“I get that. Is there anything to make someone from the dead leave you the hell alone?” There has to be something to get Hutch away from me once and for all.

“Yes. But I promise you it’s nothing you want to mess with,” he says.

“You killed a shaman. And you’re warning me about being careful,” he is the last person who should offer me advice on right and wrong.

“I never said it was for a good reason.”

I nod. I don’t care anymore to discuss matters with him. I did once, and he told Slade everything.

“Where are you going?”

I look back at him. “Back to the tour bus.” God, people act like I can’t make it from point a to point b on my own anymore and it’s getting annoying.

I make it to the tour bus and kick off my shoes, climb into a bunk and force myself to go to sleep so I don’t have to deal with life anymore. Sometimes it is just too exhausting.

I’m screaming.

I want to kill him and make him go away and no matter how hard I kick and thrash he is in my dreams and reality. He might as well be pinning me down on the bed and forcing me to deal with this misery.

“Do we need to go over this again?” Hutch asks. “Do you want me to show you again? Do you want me to make you feel all of those feelings you felt when you killed your dad?”

He’s as bad as Freddy Kruger the way he is haunting me.

I look away from him. I don’t want to see his face. I don’t want to hear him. I scream again.

Dax shakes me out of my sleep. “Hope. Snap out of it.” He grips my shoulders and keeps on shaking me. “Hope.”

He snaps his fingers and presses his palm against my forehead and Hutch is gone and I am back in reality.

I sit up and try to catch my breath. “What did you do?” How did he make it stop? How did he make it go away?

“Magic,” he whispers. He takes a seat on the couch and looks at me. “Is this an everyday occurrence?”

I run a hand across my face trying to pull it together. I am big ball of emotions. I look around, the fear of seeing Hutch again is too much.

Dax stands up. “Let me try something.”

“What?” I force myself to look at him.

“Tell me if he goes away,” he holds out his hand and waits for me to put mine in it.

“He’s standing behind you,” Dax says, and before I can freak out he shushes me and makes me look at Hutch standing there. “Just hold my hand.”

I grab hold of his hand and we lock our fingers together. A calm washes over me. Dax looks at me, He’s just as confused. Because Hutch is gone.

In all these years I have wanted no one else to touch me but Slade. But now I know what Dax is capable of and I don’t mind. If it helps he can touch me.

“How did you do that? What did you do?”

Dax shakes his head. “I have no idea what I did. When I shook you awake they all disappeared.”

He is talking about the dead people he sees. The people I see.

“But why?”

Dax says nothing.

“What’s up?” Slade and Kidd say coming through the door interrupting us.

I say nothing and Dax doesn’t either. I don’t think he wants to talk about it.

I follow Slade into the back room of the tour bus. He pulls his shirt over his head. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah why?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. You left the show. I figured you wanted to hang out.”

“I had a headache,” I tell him.

“When has that ever stopped you from watching us play?”

“I guess tonight was a little different,” I say with a shrug. I undo my jeans and toss them on the floor by the bed.

“Too tired for an orgasm?” He says with a smile.

I smile back and follow his lead and slip under the covers with him.

He pulls me toward him and doesn’t waste a single second, he kisses me. “This is so much better than being on stage all night.”

I nod in agreement and enjoy the moment of calm. For once I feel alright.

Slade pulls back and I smile at him. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy to be here.” I’m happy that he has a brother I never knew about. The voices in my head are quiet. Everything has faded away and just the good stuff is in front of me.

He runs his hands down to my chest and squeezes. “I’m glad you’re here too. Because all I thought about while I was on stage was getting deep inside of you.”

He pushes me down on and climbs on top of me. I grab hold of him and kiss him again. His lips crash into mine. And he fights to get me out of the rest of my clothes while I undo his jeans.