Harlequin E New Adult Romance Box Set Volume 1: Burning Moon\Girls' Guide to Getting It Together\Rookie in Love (55 page)

Jackson pulls me into a hug and says softly, “Don’t lie to me—I saw your face. You were going to run. You wouldn’t even have given me a chance to explain. Don’t ever run from me, Maddy.” I have to concentrate hard to keep from crying or telling him I think I am in too deep, too soon. He takes my hand in his and we leave campus. When we get to my apartment we have an hour to spare before we have to meet his mother at a local restaurant.

Abby and Kyle are on the couch in our living room when we walk in. The TV is off and Abby is asleep in Kyle’s lap. Kyle is gazing at her while she sleeps, lightly running his hand along her swollen tear-streaked face, from her forehead down to her chin and back again. I stand there not moving, just watching as he caresses her with the softest of touches, soothing her in her sleep.

“Are you taking the job?” I ask quietly, causing Jackson to look from me to Kyle and back, trying to make sense of what he is seeing.

Kyle never looks up and I know that he has been crying, as well. “I don’t know, Madeline. When my only family was in Florida I had everything figured out. I would go to school here, then move back home. The only problem is, I’ve since realized that Abby is my family, too. What am I supposed to do when either decision will cause the people I love so much pain?” His voice sounds strained, but he continues to stroke her head as he searches for an answer on her face.

“I’m sorry, Kyle. I don’t have that answer. Please do me a favor, though.” He looks up at me with pain on his face. “When you figure it out, please tell me.” Kyle looks to Jackson and gives a small nod before returning to his silent worship.

I walk down the hall to my room with Jackson in tow and climb onto my bed as he closes the door behind us. We don’t say anything, but the weight of what we just saw feels heavy between us. Jackson toes his shoes off and climbs in behind me, wrapping his warm body around mine, cradling his front to my back. I hear him inhale a big breath and I close my eyes and do the same.

“Maddy,” he whispers, and I turn my head slightly so that he knows I am listening. “They are going to make it. Sometimes the hardest decisions turn out to be the ones that make us the happiest. Kyle loves her and he’ll make the right choice for them. Once you accept how much you love someone and surrender to that, all the decisions get easier. You stop living to please everyone else and you learn to focus on making just that one person happy. He’ll figure it out. Just give him time.”

“Some families have strong roots, Jackson. No matter how far out the branches reach, they can’t survive without the roots. I hope you’re right.” Jackson pulls me tighter against him and kisses the back of my head.

“I
need
to be right,” he answers. We lie in the silence for a while and I can feel his heart beating against my back.

His phone chimes with a message and he retrieves it from his pocket. “It’s my mom. She’s on the way to the restaurant from her hotel.” His voice sounds lighter and I can tell that he is happy to have her in town. I close my eyes and think about my own mother. I would give anything to be meeting her for dinner.

“Let me freshen up a bit. I’ll be right back.” In the bathroom I reapply some makeup and run a brush through my hair. I put on a little perfume and then head back out into the bedroom. Jackson is sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me and I push aside any sad feelings so that I can focus on being with him and his mom. With Jackson’s hand in mine, we make our way past Kyle, who is still in silent meditation. He is so wrapped up in his thoughts I am sure he has completely missed us leaving.

* * *

Greg will be back in a week and a half. If his predictions are right, this thing with Jackson will be through and I will be heartbroken. I swallow down the dread that starts to rise in my throat and roll down my passenger-side window for some fresh air. I wonder how it will end; will he grow tired of me and find someone else? Will I grow tired of him? I can’t imagine ending this, but I can’t imagine it surviving all of the opposition coming at us.

“Rookie, stop worrying so much. Forget about everything and just let it play out the way it’s meant to. There isn’t anywhere else I would rather be right now, or anyone else I would rather be with. Let’s just see where this takes us.” I smile at Jackson and wonder how he can manage to stay living in the moment without freaking out about what will happen next.

After we pull up to the restaurant and park, he comes around to my door and opens it. Blocking the way for me to get out, he reaches up and kisses my lips gently. I feel the panic slip away as my heart fills with warmth for him. I love the way he can read me and how he takes care of me when I start to worry.

“Well, Mr. Quarterback, are we going to do this or what?” I shimmy to the edge of the seat and he effortlessly lifts me out of the truck. “Any hints or anything, things past girlfriends have messed up, topics I should stay away from?”

A grin stretches across his face and he plants a kiss on my forehead before taking my hand in his and walking us to the restaurant. “I’m afraid I have none of those things to offer. You’ll just have to figure it out for yourself. You’re the first girl I’ve introduced to my mother since starting college.” I pull back on his hand as the shock paralyzes my legs. How could it be that he has never introduced another girl to his mother in four years? With a chuckle he tugs at my arm. “You’ve got this, Rookie. Knees up.” He playfully slaps my ass and I roll my eyes.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried—my mother is going to love you.” We enter the restaurant and almost immediately a small woman runs up and throws her arms around Jackson. I try to let go of his hand so he can hug her properly with both arms, but he keeps his grip on my hand and wraps his other arm around his mother. When she pulls back from him her eyes dart to mine, and I smile as warmly as I can manage while the butterflies take flight in my stomach.

“Mom, this is Madeline.”

Jackson’s mother wraps her arms around me before I can even say hello. She is warm and soft and gentle as she kisses my cheek. “It is so nice to meet you. You can call me Peggy. I am so glad you could come to dinner with us tonight. I had to meet the girl I have been hearing so much about.” A thrill races through me and I look to Jackson, who shrugs and smiles. I wish I could introduce him to my family, but they would never be receptive to the idea.

The conversation throughout dinner is easy. Peggy tells me about her daughter and about how much she loves volunteering at the library in their hometown.

“It’s so nice to finally be able to step away from the family business, now that the board is running it so efficiently. I’d much rather be spending my time surrounded by stories and fellow booklovers.”

“Oh!” I look quizzically at Jackson. “I didn’t realize your family ran a company. Jackson has never mentioned it. My family lives for our business and sometimes I wonder if my brothers even go home at night.”

“Mom,” Jackson gives his mother a warning glance. “You and I agreed we wouldn’t talk about the business tonight, remember? We’re here so you two can get to know each other.”

“We’re not talking business, Jackson, we’re talking about how life is too short to be stuck inside an office all day. Madeline, our family learned quickly that all the money you make is no good to you if you don’t have time to spend it. It’s people that are important.”

“I’m a people person too,” I agree. “That’s why I chose a degree in social work. I’m planning on minimizing my time at the hotels.” Peggy’s eyes shoot over to Jackson’s.

“Well, I’m sure you made the right choice. Social work is a wonderful profession; I considered it myself when I was young.” She shakes her head. “I just can’t believe how much you two already have in common.”

Jackson quickly changes the subject to how intense the past few weeks have been, trying to finish up the requirements for his business degree.

“Following in his father’s footsteps.” Jackson’s mother beams with pride. “Although I think it is just as important that he is taking this time to follow his dream of being a professional football player. I have always told him there is plenty of time to take over the business. He should explore what he is good at and what he loves.” I see him smile gratefully at her, looking genuinely at peace with that plan.

When the waiter takes our plates and offers us the dessert menus, Jackson takes the opportunity to put his hand on my leg under the table. I become aware at once that he doesn’t care who sees him touching me. It is so different with him.

“Let me guess, Rookie, you are going to get the chocolate cake.” I can feel my cheeks flush and I shoot a look in his mother’s direction, but her face is hidden behind her menu.

“Oh, I love chocolate cake, too,” she enthuses. When I glance back at Jackson he scrunches up his nose at the visual he must be imagining and I can’t help but to giggle. When the waiter takes our order, Jackson puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him in the booth. I am worried that his mother won’t approve, but she smiles at us warmly. I love the way her eyes light up when she sees Jackson smile.

After dinner, we walk Peggy to her rental car and Jackson opens her door for her. During dessert I learned that she is here to see a few of her old sorority sisters for a small reunion. I had wondered why Jackson wasn’t choosing to spend more time with her while she was in town, but she told me that she likes to give him his space, and still needs her girl time. His mother kisses his cheek and gives him a big hug before moving on to me. When she pulls me in I shut my eyes at the tenderness and immediately remember the way it felt to be engulfed in my mother’s embrace.

“Take good care of my boy,” she says, kissing my cheek. “I am trusting you to make sure he minds his manners. I didn’t spend all those years teaching him only to have him forget it all when he crossed the state line.” She sends Jackson a warning look but then quickly blows him a kiss. We watch as she gets in the car and drives away.

Our walk to his truck is silent as I process how wonderful it feels to remember another thing about my mother that had been locked away for all these years. When we get into the truck and on the road, I find myself mindlessly sliding the star necklace back and forth across its chain. It has been tucked into my shirt during dinner but now my fingers feel drawn to it. Jackson looks over from his side of the truck and studies my movements.

“You never told me what you were running from the night you found that.” He peers in my direction, then moves his eyes back to the road.

“My brothers want me with Greg. It’s nothing personal, they have just hand-picked him for me and they won’t let it go. Whether I am in love with him or not doesn’t matter—they say that will develop over time. In my family’s circle, marriages are more about being a good team, with love coming second. Greg is a respectable man with a great job and a promising future. To my brothers, he seems like the obvious answer. When I marry him, they get to hand over the responsibility of looking after me. I imagine that will be a big load off their backs.”

“You said
when,
Rookie.” He looks at me with such seriousness I almost miss what he has said. My face must show my confusion because Jackson repeats, “You said
when,
not
if.
I will take these three weeks if that’s all I get, but it kills me to think that you’ll marry him and live your life unhappily.”

“Will I? That’s the problem, Jackson. I don’t know what makes a good marriage. I do love him and I care about his happiness. I just don’t feel drawn to him like I do to you. I don’t get butterflies when he is around. I know it sounds crazy, but when you’re with me it’s like the air around us becomes charged. Nothing that feels this good can last forever.” I let go of the star and let it fall beneath my collar again.

“Maddy, I don’t know if this feeling lasts forever. All I know is that I feel it, too. I don’t know how you are going to walk away from this at the end of our time, because the thought of you leaving causes panic in me. Right now I don’t want to know what it would be like to not have you. I don’t understand why you would make choices about who you share your life with based on how confident your brothers feel about handing over the responsibility. For fuck’s sake, you aren’t some family heirloom—you’re a person!”

“Jackson, I said ‘when’ instead of ‘if’ because my future has been a foregone conclusion for a while now. I don’t think anyone saw you coming: not Greg, not my brothers and certainly not me. It’s almost as if I was going through my life unaware of what I was missing, and then someone shined a light down another path as if to say, ‘Don’t miss this part over here.’ It never mattered before where the path I was on ended, because it was the only one. With you the end seems so important; it’s the position from which I would argue not marrying Greg. If I could tell my brothers I would be okay and have them believe that, then I could move forward down the path with you, but they’re right—I don’t know what’s at the end.”

Jackson pulls into my parking lot and shuts the engine off. He runs his fingers through his hair and thinks for a minute. “Maddy, no one knows what is at the end of any path. My mother married my father when they were just out of high school. He was dead before I turned five. Do you think she would change her decision if she knew where the path with him was going to end? Do you think your father would have chosen differently knowing that his path with your mother would end so soon? It is never about the end—it’s about the time you spend together on the way to it. Greg may be able to promise sunshine and rainbows, and your brothers might believe he provides the stable path, but you know as well as I do it’s bullshit. I can’t tell you where our path would end because no one honestly can, but I can tell you that I want to walk beside you every day. Whether you accept my company or not will be your choice, but I can tell you one thing—your brothers can’t give away something that is not theirs to begin with.”

It is quiet for a minute inside the truck and then Jackson opens his door and walks around to my side to let me out. He holds my hand as we walk up to the apartment and I squeeze it tight, because I am afraid that my inability to make the choice my heart wants will cause him to let me go. When we get to the door he kisses me gently on the lips.