Harkham's Corner (Harkham's Series Book 3) (24 page)

His legs bounced while the ceremony progressed.

They still had a lot more people to circulate through, and he wished it was done already.

This was taking entirely too long.

Button must be squawking by now, and Meg probably colored half her book.

And Thomas might be feeling unwell with his cancer and everything,
if
he was sitting up there in that ocean of people.

His chest ached, and he bent over, setting his elbows on his knees.

Was it right for him to avoid that man? He was dying.

What if after he was gone, he missed him?

What if he regretted shutting him out?

His thoughts rammed through his head over ideas of how he could maybe make it more tolerable.

“Yes!” the man next to him shouted and then he was up and almost running away.

Everyone was disbanding.

How had he missed that it was over?

Instead of going straight for his wife, he knew what he had to do.

His fingers typed out a simple text,
Dad, where are you? I want a hug
.

Thomas would be his dad for a few minutes. Adam could allow that, at the very least.

It might be nice.

“I’m right here,” came his father’s voice. He was only a few rows up on his right, camera slung around his neck and tears down his cheeks.

Adam pushed people out of the way as he raced over to him, and he made sure to remove his hat in the process to keep from injuring people.

Before he could fall over, his dad caught him up in a grand hug, and he told him, “Never been prouder in my whole goddamn life! You’re amazing, Adam!”

“So are you,” Adam mumbled in return, locked in his dad’s arms.

And somehow . . . Somehow it was all okay. And somehow he kind of felt better.

Chapter 12

Late lunch, or early dinner as he called it, was an awkward affair. Amelia prepared a feast back at the house she shared with his dad, and they actually invited Thomas to join them.

Adam’s mother was nowhere to be seen, and there was no mention of her. Clearly, Sarah had better things to do than watch her oldest son graduate and congratulate him.

Weirder still, Thomas seemed easier to be around without her there. He seemed relieved almost.

Zach ate like he was dying of starvation and barely noticed his brother’s presence.

The kids played with Jill, running around every few minutes, tossing crayons at Zach, then hiding.

He ignored it.

Adam enjoyed watching them try to get Zach riled up.

“They’re trying to poke the bear for fun, huh?” Thomas sat next to him, a plate of food with him.

“I guess so . . . If you can call Zach a bear. I always thought of him more as a duck.” Adam shrugged and drank his soda.

“’Cause he’s a strange duck?” Thomas smirked.

“No, because he likes to float on his back in the water all the time, and he eats fish sticks. He thinks those are super yummy.” Adam made a face, sticking his tongue out in the process. “Plus, he says the male is prettier than the girl, and he thinks he’s prettier than women.” He shook his head, memories making him smile. “So, he’s a silly duck.”

“Not a silly goose?”

“Now that would be really silly, wouldn’t it? Geese are mean, and Zach doesn’t know how to be mean to anyone.” Adam put his soda down and played with the chip on his plate instead. For some reason, his appetite vanished.

“He’s been mean to
me
—several times. But I understood why,” Thomas said, taking a bite of his burger.

He was looking very thin and gaunt. Did he look that way last time Adam saw him? It wasn’t that long ago. Maybe two weeks?

“I told him to do that. If I hadn’t, he probably would’ve mostly avoided you. He doesn’t like confrontation. That’s why his wife got away with being a snot so much.” Adam took another sip of his soda. His mouth couldn’t decide what it wanted to taste or do. The challenge wasn’t in effect today, though, so he figured, at the very least, he should finish his pop.

Everyone knew Adam would win anyway. Zach had been whining about no beer for a while.

No one wanted to hear about it anymore. They all said they’d both cheated several times, making excuses for why “this one time” was allowed. Adam had argued there was always room for human error, and he was right about that.

No, no. The bet was still on. Just not in force right this minute.

“Fair enough, and I’m sure you’re right about his marriage. I wouldn’t know. I was too busy dealing with my own.” Thomas winced a little. It was barely noticeable, but Adam was watching him carefully out of the corner of his eye.

Adam shrugged and looked away. Where was that woman he was stuck with as a mom? It was really bugging him worse than ant bites on his legs when he mowed the lawn that Sarah Matthews was missing.

Amelia walked by and patted Adam’s back, smiling at him.

Maybe
this
was his mom now? She hadn’t married his father yet, but she sure felt like what a loving mother was supposed to be like.

Amelia set another soda down in front of Adam and graced him with another pleased smile.

“She cares about you a lot.” Thomas motioned over his shoulder at Dr. Harkham’s retreating form.

“Yeah, she does. She’s known me for a long time, and she knows me very well. It’s her job, though, to know her clients well and to care about them.”

“No. I don’t think so.” Thomas grabbed a napkin and blew his nose.

Adam leaned away from him.

“Do you care about each of your clients you see in your dad’s office?” Thomas’s brows lifted.

“No. I care about helping them, but I don’t see them on a regular basis.” He paused and rubbed his right arm. “Well, there are a few I do. I know them, but it’s not a good idea to get attached. They’re there to get help, not be friends.”

“And was she there to be your friend?”

Adam’s spine snapped up to straight. “Yes. She told me the first time I saw her she wanted to be friends. I believed her. She’s a good lady.”

“Exactly the point I was making. She’s different because she honestly cared about you then and now. She
did
become your friend. That’s not something you can buy or teach someone. Why don’t you tell her how much you appreciate her?”

“I don’t know . . . I guess I worry that she’s going to be disappointed in me each time I have an episode or a relapse.” Adam searched for a better explanation, but nothing came to him.

“She won’t ever think any less of you, because she knows what kind of demons you’ve battled. She knows a sturdy warrior when she sees one.” Thomas stared at the wall ahead of him and took a drink of his own soda.

Was this amusing to him somehow?

“Yes, she does. And what I wonder is—what kind of demons have you battled that it’s made you so strong you can sit here without Mom prodding you into it?” Adam eyed his dad, waiting for some explosion to take place.

Thomas sat there, calm as could be, sipping more of his soda. “She left, Adam. That’s what she does. She freaks out, and she leaves, then begs to return when she realizes later how foolish she was. I was constantly dealing with her hysterics.”

“And?” Adam slapped the counter next to his dad. There had to be more than that.

“And, I told her not to come back, and I meant it. She was pressuring me to go after you.”

“Fuck, it’s always about money with you people,” Adam whispered, dropping his head and closing his eyes.

“It was always about keeping a balance for me—not about money. I wanted to keep the two people happy that were most important to me. You. And her. She has found ways to sabotage me repeatedly. Well, no more. She says she loves me, yet she never seems happy at all no matter what I do. I can’t live out the rest of my days being a disappointment to the woman I love.”

“Wait . . . You love her, yet you don’t want her?” Adam’s brain hurt, and his hurt was positively aching.

“It’s complicated, but she was causing trouble, and you know what?”

“No—
what
?” Adam shifted in his seat and before he knew it, he was facing his father straight on, staring in his eyes.

“I’ve had years with her. I can’t say the same about you.” Thomas’s fingers twitched on the counter.

Adam could feel it.

“You need a hug,” Adam said, and he pulled the man in for one.

“I do.” Thomas trembled in his hold.

“I do, too. We’re family, even when sometimes we don’t want to be.”

“I never wanted anything other than being your dad.” Thomas squeezed him tight, then let go.

“Well, I . . . Yeah.” Adam settled back into his seat. “That’s nice to hear.”

Adam wasn’t sure he believed it.

“She had to go, so I could get things right with you. She’ll understand someday. There’s nothing worse than knowing your child hates you, and it’s because of things that were outside of your control.” Thomas leaked tears.

Adam reached out and gripped Thomas’s wrist. “You didn’t have to get rid of her for me. I don’t want that.”

“What do you want then?” Thomas’s eyes were riveted on Adam’s hold on him.

“What I’ve always wanted—answers. Love. Kindness. Respect. Friendship. Knowledge. And mostly, not having to worry about you shutting me out and walking away again. That’s never okay. It’s hard to look at you sometimes because of how much pain you’ve caused me.” Adam blinked away his own surfacing tears. “How do I get past knowing you were absent for so much of my life? I can’t pretend it didn’t happen that way, because for me—
you
left me.”

Thomas nodded. “I know I did. I left so your mom would leave you, too. I thought she’d come after me. I hoped she’d leave you with Dustin once she found him. I knew he was far better for you than she ever was, and I was so in love with her I couldn’t let her go.”

“Did you keep sleeping with her even after you divorced?”

Thomas gulped. “I did. We had a continual affair for years. No one knew.”

“I think I probably did.” Adam’s head felt numb. “She would act strange sometimes and look at me like I was too big of a reminder of you, then she’d walk away all upset. At first, I figured she cried because I did something stupid, but then I realized I hadn’t done anything wrong, so that made no sense.”

“No. It was never you. I knew it was me. So, I finally got the nerve and moved away. She came after me. That’s when she left your family. I should have done it sooner—moving far, far away, but I didn’t know exactly how bad she’d gotten with you guys.”

“Why did you ever love her? She sounds crazy like Sam.”

Thomas muttered Samara’s name, took a large gulp of his soda and squared his shoulders. “I loved her because she was unique, beautiful and very sensual. I’d never met a woman so lively and intelligent, and she was the only one that ever believed in me and my music. She took my breath away, and I fell fast and hard for her. I was never the same after meeting Sarah. She was my dream woman I never knew I was searching for until I found her.” Thomas smiled, but it was fleeting. “Only, I didn’t know how troubled she was. Not really. I mean, I knew her family was a mess, but they were gone—out of the picture, so I only had a few bits and pieces to put together that she shared with me over time.”

Dustin approached Adam and out of nowhere, stood him up and said, “I want to give you your gift now.”

Adam glanced over at Thomas, who only smiled kindheartedly at him.

“Okay—I’d like that.” Adam wrapped an arm around his dad’s shoulder, feeling odd with Thomas directly next to him on the other side.

“Can I announce it? Would that be okay?” His dad got a little choked up.

Adam nodded and swallowed down his fears. Announced? Why?

Adam was a man, and he proved that today by graduating. Did men need gifts shouted out and shared this way?

“As many of you know, my son Adam works his butt off for me at the office. He’s done more than his fair share of work, and it helps me tremendously. I’m able to work four days a week now rather than the usual hectic five—something I always wanted to do. I’m able to take up hobbies again, relax and enjoy my life at home.” Dustin patted him on the back, then pulled something out of his pocket.

Adam gasped. He was holding keys.

“My boy needs a more reliable form of transportation to get to and from work, to school and for his family. He’s been a one-car household for far too long, and Amelia and I would like to change that, so we bought him a brand new SUV that seats six, in case his family continues to grow.”

Adam shook in place, unsure of what to say or do. “It’s not okay. You shouldn’t have. That’s your money, Dad.”

“It’s my money to spend on the people I love, and besides, Zach pitched in, too.”

Adam heard a utensil drop behind him. Was Thomas upset by this?

“I . . . But I . . . Thank you?” Adam stood there, battling so many emotions he worried he might have an attack from the numbers.