Hard to Love You (16 page)

“You wouldn’t like my answer.” He states. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t.

I roll my eyes and Ryder lets out a cry. I turn off the monitor that is sitting on the end table and walk upstairs to get him. When I go into his room he has rolled on his stomach and is still crying. I reach down and cradle him in my arms trying to settle him down. “Oh Ryder, it’s ok monkey, Mommy and Daddy will be home in a few days.” I say as I pat his bottom and pace back and forth.

“Can I try?” Mason asks me as he sneaks up behind me.

I stare at him in disbelief. He normally doesn’t do well with a crying Ryder. Mason gets all freaked out cause he thinks he’s doing something wrong.

He holds his strong arms out. “Let me see him.”

Ryder starts to reach for him. “Come here buddy, Uncle Mason will figure out what’s going on with you.” As soon as Ryder settles into Mason’s arms his cries quiet to a soft whimper.
Nice
. I used to have that touch with Ryder.

“Where’s his blanket, Hails?” Mason asks as he shushes Ryder, rocking him in his arms.

I go over to the diaper bag that I still haven’t unpacked yet and pull Ryder’s soft, baby blue blanket out of his bag and hand it to him. “Here you go.” As I hand it over a little piece of paper falls to the ground. I reach down and pick it up.

Hails

Use this when Ryder will not stop crying.

Xoxo

Kenzie

Great!
I should have known MacKenzie would have left me little notes like this. She was worried about leaving her baby for a week while she and Hunter were off enjoying their honeymoon.

Mason starts laughing, “My sister really did think of everything, huh?”

I crumple up the paper and throw it at him. “Yeah she did.”

I leave them in the room and saunter downstairs to make myself some coffee. I really should order some takeout since I haven’t been eating properly lately, but coffee sounds better at this point.

Mason strolls down with a now happy Ryder in his arms. “When did he eat last?”

I look at the clock on the microwave. “He’s due for a bottle.”

I go over to the sink and start fixing Ryder’s milk. When it’s all warm and ready I place a burp cloth on my shoulder and go into the living room where Mason and Ryder are. The sight in front of me stops me in my tracks. Mason has Ryder propped up on his lap watching the Yankees and Phillies battling it out in the last inning. Mason looks so comfortable and at ease with Ryder. My heart aches as I picture what Mason would look like if he and I were to have a little boy or girl. I clear the thought away just as quickly as it came. Now is not the time for that.

Mason catches me staring at him, “Bottle ready?”

“Uh,” I look down to the bottle still in my hand, “Yeah.” I go over to where they are sitting on the couch and grab for Ryder.

Mason places a hand on my wrist stopping me. “I got it. Why don’t you go take a bath and relax? I know you aren’t going to get much time for yourself for the next couple of days while you have him.”

I gawk at him.
What’s he really up to?
“You sure?”

“Positive.” Mason grabs the bottle, lays Ryder down in his arms and then turns his attention back to the game.

Well then, I’m taking advantage of this time to go and soak in MacKenzie’s massive tub that Hunter’s just put in for her. I turn the kitchen light off and make my way upstairs to grab a pair of yoga pants and a tank top from one of my bags in the guest room. I go into MacKenzie’s bathroom and start filling up the tub, making sure to add lots of bubbles, and then work on lighting a few candles around it. I dim the lights and strip out of my clothes. I dip my toes in first, feeling the temperature. It’s perfect.

I sink down until my whole body is covered, leaving only my face above the water. All the sounds drown out until I can only hear myself breathing. I close my eyes for just a few seconds but when I open them Mason is standing above me.

I sit up quickly and try to cover by body with the bubbles. “Damn it, Mason. You could have knocked.”

He laughs, “I called your name. You didn’t hear me.”

“Can you turn around? Better yet, get out. I’ll be out in just a second.”

Mason kneels down next to the tub, “Hails, I’ve seen and tasted every inch of your body. There’s no reason to hide.” My cheeks burn thinking about the first time Mason saw me completely naked.

It was prom weekend for MacKenzie and I. Mason and I were on really bad terms after I found out that he slept with that whore Lily back in the eighth grade. I wasn’t stupid, I knew he had been with other girls; but Mason sleeping with Lily was inexcusable to me because he wouldn’t sleep with me. I always thought it was because of our age, apparently not. I hated Lily with a passion and Mason knew that. Mason had been trying to call and text me but I’d just ignored him. One of the high school basketball players, Matt, had asked me to prom. I agreed just because I really had no one else to go with and he had been the first one to ask me. Matt and I spent a lot of time together leading up to prom and I had started developing feelings for him. This was the first guy I felt anything for aside from Mason. Yeah I’ve had boyfriends here and there but I never felt a thing for any of them. I guess I kept trying, hoping I could eventually get over Mason.

MacKenzie and I had gone out to get our hair done right after school on Friday. Once that was done we had gone back to her house to get ready before the limo came. I was pulling out my clothes so I could rearrange my bags to get everything to fit when the box of condoms I bought fell on the floor.

“Umm, Hails?” MacKenzie asked with a raised eyebrow.

“What? They’re just condoms.” I said trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal.

MacKenzie huffed, “I know what they are. Did you forget that I have three brothers and the jackasses can’t remember to take them out of their pockets so they are always in the washer?”

I shrugged, “I was thinking about sleeping with Matt this weekend.” I didn’t really want to have this conversation with her. MacKenzie and I had talked about losing our v-cards a lot lately but we both said we wanted to wait until we were completely sure. Now I just wanted to lose mine and since Mason wasn’t going to help me with that I’d find someone who would.

“Hailey!” MacKenzie exclaimed. “That’s a big deal. I’m your best friend and you weren’t even going to tell me?”

“Kenzie, it’s not a big deal.” I said, downplaying it.

MacKenzie rolled her eyes, “Whatever you say. Did you and Matt plan this?”

I nodded. It was a lie but I wasn’t going to tell her that I hoped her brother would have been my first.

The conversation was dropped after that. We went about the rest of the afternoon trying to make sure her car was packed so all we would have to do when prom was over was to come back and pick up her car.

Prom had been a blast. We’d all had the time of our lives. Late that night when we all arrived at the shore house the party really got started. Most of our friends’ parents had houses down there so there was a good group of us all hanging out. Matt and I were getting pretty hot and heavy out on the back deck. Then Frankie showed up with beers; Matt began drinking and started to get really friendly with our friend Mike’s date. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but then before I realized it a half hour had passed and I hadn’t seen Matt anywhere. I went into the house and tried to find him, and that’s when I found a lot more than I wanted to. Matt was screwing some girl in the bathroom. I only knew it was him because I heard his name being called out.

I turned around to leave because I was devastated that he had done that to me. I thought we had something special going for us. By the time I’d reached the stairs, Mason had walked in with Hunter and Cooper. I didn’t think the night could get any worse.

“Hailey? What the fuck is wrong?” Mason asked when he noticed I was crying.

I pushed past him and ran upstairs. MacKenzie was up there grabbing a sweatshirt.

“What’s going on?” She asked as I ran over and wrapped my arms around her.

I cried harder as she shushed me and told me to take a few deep breaths. “Matt is screwing some girl in the bathroom, Kenz.” I laughed once through the tears. “What a fucking idiot I am! And to think I was going to give him my v-card.” I cried.

After a few minutes I calmed down and wiped the mascara off my cheeks with a tissue. “My brothers are looking for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes ok?” MacKenzie said as she was tapping away on her phone.

“Alright.”

After she left I unzipped my dress and threw it on the bed, then took off my heels and bent down to pick up my overnight bag off the floor. I was sifting through it looking for the boy shorts and tank top I’d packed to sleep in.

“Hailey?”

Shit, what is Mason doing up here
. “Give me a second Mason, I’m getting changed.”

He either didn’t hear me or didn’t care because he continued up the stairs to the third floor. I had my back turned towards him so I wasn’t sure where in the room he was until his hands snaked around my waist.

I tensed, “Don’t, Mase.”

He didn’t move his hands though. “That was a really shitty thing that Matt kid did and I promise it’s getting taken care of.”

I knew what that threat meant. The Cahills were going after him.

“He’s not worth it, Mase. Just leave it be.”

“The hell I will.” He said with rage in his voice.

I huffed, “Whatever. I’m going to bed.” I tried to get out of his grasp but it didn’t work, he held on tight.

“Were you really going to sleep with him?” Mason asked.

Damn it! MacKenzie had told him what I was going to do. “What does it matter to you?”

“
You
matter Hailey, now answer the question.” Mason said harshly.

I waited a few seconds before nodding my head.

Mason sighed loudly and let his grip around my waist go. When I turned around he was running his hands through his hair.

“Come to my room with me.”

“What? No,” I shook my head. “I’m getting changed and going to bed.”

Mason gave me a stern, heated look. “Come. To. My. Room. With. Me.”

I rolled my eyes. He must have thought I was just going to fall back into his arms again. Not a chance in hell. I continued looking for my things in my bags. “What are you looking for?”

“Uh, clothes.” I huffed. Had he not noticed I was standing here in my bra and underwear? I reached for the other bag I had brought with me, still unable to find any clothes, but Mason grabbed my arm.

“Here,” He reached behind his head and pulled his shirt off. “Put this on and lets go.”

I glared at him. “I’m not going anywhere with you Mase.”

He pulled his shirt over my head so fast I didn’t have a chance to fight him, then he threw me over his shoulder and headed out the door. Damn caveman.

“I have two legs you know.” I said as I pounded on his back.

He ignored me. When we reached his room he set me down to unlock his bedroom door and pushed it open for me. Once we were both in he turned and locked the door. Next thing I know he had me pinned against it.

“What—-” I was cut off by Mason’s hungry kiss.

He grabbed the back of my thighs and hoisted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist while he walked us to his bed. He gently laid me in the center of the bed and then crawled on top of me; nipping and sucking on my neck.

“Mase …”

He reached down between us and pushed up my shirt to reveal more of my skin. “I didn’t want to do this, Hailey. You deserve someone better than me but I can’t stop wanting you. It would have killed me if someone else was your first.” He thrust his hips against mine and I let out a strangled moan. “I’m sorry, Hailey. I wasn’t thinking with Lily.”

“You’re damn right you weren’t.” I tried to push him off me but he pinned my hands above my head.

“You are mine, Hailey. You aren’t going to remember whatever his name is after I’m done with you.” Mason told me.

He was being possessive and I had to admit that I liked it. While Mason and I rolled in his bed, I eagerly started pulling his clothes off. The mood had changed from possessive to tender.

“It’s gonna hurt at first, Hailey. I’m going to try and be as gentle as possible.” Mason explained between the kisses he was placing down my stomach. I arched my back the lower he got. My body was strung out from the want and need of Mason.

He slowly pulled my thong down and then reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom. He ripped it open with his teeth. I sat up and watched as he rolled it on his length. “You sure about this, Hailey?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak.

“We can stop now, or whenever you want, you just have to tell me.” Mason said. I could hear the worry in his voice.

“I know, Mase, I trust you.” I trusted him with my life.

I reached up, put my hands behind his neck and brought him down to me. I opened my legs wider so that Mason could settle between them and they started shaking from the anticipation.

“You’re shaking.” Mason said as he kissed right below my ear.

“I’m fine, just a little nervous.”

I felt Mason at my opening, he pushed in just a little and I felt myself stretching. I dug my fingernails into Mason’s back as he pushed in a little further. It hurt but wasn’t unbearable.

Mason lifted up and gazed into my eyes. He stilled inside me, letting me stretch to fit his size and get used to the feeling. Mason continued placing kisses on my lips, down my jaw and just as he got to my ear he pushed all the way in and I felt a sudden pinch. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“I love you, Hailey.” I heard Mason whisper so quietly that I’m not sure if I was meant to hear it.