Authors: James Buchanan
140
Hard Fall
by James Buchanan
Holding out the cup and smiling big, she waggled it at him.
"Take my mug, tell them you're on an official go-fer assignment for Ranger Slokum, and they'll be nice to you.
Want anything Deputy? Coffee, tea..."
Shook my head, "I'm fine." Most everyone around here already knew all about me. At least the not drinking caffeine part of me.
"Got instant cocoa," Nadia wheedled, "kind with the little marshmallows."
I rolled my eyes. Woman could talk a dog out of its spots.
"Twist my arm for marshmallows." I conceded.
Nadia pushed the mug into Kabe's less than enthusiastic hands. Taking him by the shoulders, she walked them both out of the office. "There's cups back there, too." I twisted in my seat and watched her shove him down the hall. "Mix the cocoa two packets to one cup hot water. They're weaker than a Baptist's resolve on Saturday night. Get yourself whatever you want. We'll be in my office." Then Nadia walked into another office.
While I waited, I studied the camera. I knew, just knew, somewhere in there was my answer. Nothing could convince me that Gunter didn't have something to do with Anya's fall.
My gut told me. Something had called me back to that cliff, drew me like a moth to a flame, something besides just lusting after Kabe. I needed to be out there, it was meant to be. 'Course the only reason I'd been out all night, stayed to look the next day, was Kabe. I'd wanted to be with him.
I guess that meant Kabe and I were meant to be as well.
That scared me. Boy did it scare me.
141
Hard Fall
by James Buchanan
"You know," Nadia's voice startled me, "he's a nice kid."
"Yeah," I managed a weak smile and hoped I hadn't jumped much as I probably did. "He's nice. Don't know as I'd call him a kid though."
Nadia slid past me and sat down at her desk. "True. He's all grown up in all the right places." Pulling out a form from the stack she carried, Nadia took a moment to scribble a few boxes in. Then she kinda looked up at me, sorta sideways, and tried not to smile. "'Course, figuring you know all about that, probably about things I don't."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Somehow, I managed to get that out without choking. What I really wanted to do was get up and run. The only people who ran were those who had something to hide. I didn't want to seem like I had anything to hide.
"Right." Now Nadia looked at me head-on. She wasn't smiling. "And I'm the President of the United States." If her southern drawl got any thicker, even I wouldn't be able to fathom it.
I blinked. "Nice to meet you, Madam President." One of the most difficult things I'd done, keep my face that blank.
Nadia rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, you two are cute together." Bile rose in my throat at her words and I shoved it back down, quick. "He is so looking for his daddy bear, it hurts."
I reminded myself I needed to breathe. As evenly as I could manage, I denied it. "Look, I don't know what you think is going on, but it ain't like that."
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Eyes narrowed, lips tight, she called me on my lie. "Ain't like what, Sugar?" Somehow her voice was more gentle than I expected.
Not wanting to come at it straight on, I hedged. "What you're thinking."
Slowly, she set the pen down on her desk. "And just what am I thinking?"
"You're thinking, like, we're all about each other," I swallowed, "and it just ain't that way." Like it was some joke, a misunderstanding, I pulled a smile onto my face. "Not out here."
"It's not that way." Resting her chin in her hand and tapping her nose with her index finger, she smiled at me. My mom used to smile at me like that, every time I done something wrong and she already knew it and just waited for me to tell her. "Or it's not that way 'cause you're out here."
"Y'all just need to go talk to Fred, he'll tell you all 'bout me. I'm as stand up as they come."
"I don't doubt that at all, Sugar." I don't know why there seemed to be so much pain in her face. "And I did talk to Fred. 'Course I was more interested in what he wasn't saying than what he was. Why I'm so good at my job, I read between the lines. I watch people. And between you and that boy, there's something." Nadia reached out across that small metal desk of hers, had to lean forward some, so that her fingers just brushed the back of my hand. "Something kinda nice."
"Nice?"
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"Yeah," she sighed, "nice like I haven't seen since I lived in Frisco." She had to draw back, couldn't maintain that position too long. For a bit she went back to writing. When the form was finished she signed off and slid it and the pen my way. As I started to sign off on my line, Nadia rested her hand on mine. "Miss my partner, you know."
That came out of left field. I searched for a moment and the only thing that came up in my memory was her past service. "NPS at Alcatraz?"
"No," she laughed with kinda low, sad tone under it,
"school teacher in Oakland. She died of breast cancer a few years back." With that my hand got a little squeeze. "That's when I asked to be transferred back to the South where I grew up. Got all the southern charm back." She drew back and folded her hands on the desktop. "Now I'm here and I'd really like to think I wasn't all alone in the Land of Bubba.
'Course I'm old enough to be your mama, specially as early as these gals start. Thinking you might need mama's shoulder once now and again: couple biscuits, cup of coffee with a shot of whiskey, and an ear. I got 'em."
Well, maybe that's how she figured things. I'd always heard jokes about 'gaydar' and such ... never believed 'em.
Kabe didn't hide it much, though, even if I did. Maybe living in a big city, San Francisco of all places, that kinda sense wore off on her. "I don't drink coffee and I don't drink whiskey." I signed my name and dropped the pen. After I licked my lips, I dredged up a smile. "Company I probably wouldn't turn down, though."
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Hard Fall
by James Buchanan
"Boy," Nadia rocked back in her chair and crossed her thin arms over her chest, "you done picked yourself one hell of a hard row to hoe, you know that?"
"There's harder." I gave her one of my biggest smiles. It faltered about half way through.
"Not by much, Sugar, not by much." About that time Kabe came back, balancing two Styrofoam cups and Nadia's mug.
Our conversation switched to how we found the camera. I could feel Kabe standing behind me, right up against my back. A few times I caught Nadia in an
I knew it
smirk, which I ignored and Kabe seemed oblivious too. Could be he was watching me too much to catch what Nadia was doing.
Finally coffee, cocoa and conversation were done. Kabe, Nadia and I wandered back out to the parking lot and found that night had fallen while we talked. Nadia said her goodbyes at that point, waving as she swaggered away. I watched her walking from light pool to light pool, waiting until she made it to employee housing. Made sure she made it. Not that I didn't think Nadia could handle herself ... heck, I'd be afraid to take that sleek little polecat in a dark alley. Still, never hurt to have someone watch your back. When the front door to the apartment block had open and closed, I turned back to find Kabe resting his arm on the hood of my truck.
"It's late, let's get." I clambered into the cab and fired her up as Kabe got in. As I swung out of the lot, I glanced over at him. Couldn't see much with just the dashboard light, mostly just outline and shadows on his face. I sighed to myself, time to stop playing around and get back to real life. There was stuff I had to do tomorrow before I went back on shift. Had 145
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one of those weird schedules where they played with days so everyone got a Saturday/Sunday off once in a while. "I'll take you home now." Heck of a round trip; out to T's and back to mine. Maybe I could sleep in some tomorrow.
"Cool," a little mischief hid in his voice, "wanted to see your place."
"What?" I choked it out.
Like it was all settled he shrugged. "We're going to your place."
I had to focus on the road and keep driving. As we passed the exit to the Park I finally managed to put some words to it.
"You just decided that? All on your own there?"
"Yeah, I kinda did." Kabe laughed. I liked his laugh. All amusement and no scorn ... those were the best. "Look, you're beat, I'm beat. Your options are to come back to T's place and stay there with me. Go back to T's place, drop me off, drive an hour and forty minutes back home and risk falling asleep behind the wheel. Or you can drive me back to your house, which is only forty minutes that way. I'll crash while you drive. I'll cook while you crash." A little wheedle crept into his voice, "I'm pretty good at what-luck."
That plan sounded so reasonable. "What-luck?" I asked, more to just give me time to think it all through.
"Yeah, as in
what luck, there's food in the fridge
. Takes a special type of cook to look at half a cup of Bisquick, two eggs, bacon bits, wilted spinach and powdered milk to come up with dinner."
I took the turn toward Panguitch, a few miles down and I'd be at ground zero. We either turned or went straight. One 146
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option headed us to the ranch ... the other my bed. "What the heck do you make with that?" Filling the space with words just so I didn't have to really consider what I was about to do.
I already knew, somewhere down deep, that I'd cave in to him. Wasn't ready to admit it, but I knew it.
"Quiche."
"Real men don't eat quiche." I kept my fingers on the wheel, my eyes on the road. I couldn't handle more.
"Don't knock it till you've tried it. Or call it cheesy eggs with veggies and biscuits, if you've got issues." Kabe's hand stretched across the spine of the bench to brush the nape of my neck. "But like my Grams always said, if you didn't cook it, say 'thanks,' eat it and offer to wash dishes after."
A normal, teasing conversation ... I could handle that. "My chili was that awful?" Kept me away from dangerous subjects, like how bad I was falling.
"No, it was good." Kabe sounded like he meant it. "Really, I wouldn't lie to a guy with a gun."
"I'm not armed." Well, my rifle was racked behind us, didn't really consider that
armed
though.
"No, but you got one hell of a gun and you handle it good."
Kabe leaned across the cab and whispered just loud enough for me to hear it over the whine of the engine and the road.
"Like to play with your pistol a bit more."
Step off the cliff from friendly teasing to sexual innuendo.
The boy switched gears faster than anyone I knew. "That's way corny."
"Okay, I'll be direct." He scooted closer, right up against my side, his leg against mine and his arm on my shoulder. "I 147
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like you." Those soft words tickled down my spine and set everything jangling. "I like how you fuck. I want more with you ... round three."
I lied. "I don't know." I wanted him as bad, if not more.
Couldn't handle saying it yet.
"Didn't like it?"
"Liked it just fine." I could barely work up enough spit to talk. "But, ah, never done anything this close to home. You really need to understand that, okay." The turnoff flashed by in the dark. I was going to take him home with me. And I was shaking in my boots at the prospect. "Wasn't just screwing with you out on the face when I told you not to mess with me in front of no one. Out, away from everyone, we can tease.
But, this is me, I'm Mormon in my heart and a deputy in a tiny little county."
"You're afraid."
"That's putting it lightly."
"I won't say anything, Joe." Kabe's hand settled on my knee and darn near stole my breath away. "Not to anyone."
His words eased me a little bit. "It's not much of nothing, my place." Still, I was as nervous as a horse at the gate, talking to hear words come out. "Prefab cabin thing, you know, vacation home I bought off a woman whose husband died. Not much for real living..."
His hand along my thigh, tracking the seam on my jeans—
the inside, not outside one, right near my prick—and sitting right next to me, Kabe's voice was gentle. "Joe, keep driving, you don't have to sell me. I'm already here."
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He was there. All close and all for me. "Okay." I kinda turned as I said it, just enough to look some without losing sight of the road. He smiled and rested his head on the seat back near my shoulder. Enough to be close, but not enough to get popped by my elbow if I had to shift. Ten, twenty miles went under the tires before I realized he'd fallen asleep. Good to his word.
I'd just bet my whole life on his staying true to that.
149
Hard Fall
by James Buchanan
Kabe climbed out of the truck and whistled as he caught sight of my house. "I assumed you were talking about a shack of some sort. You know, one of those square boxes with cheap siding." Even in the dark, you could see it right well. Especially up here, with the moon so big and the stars.
"That looks like a fancy ski lodge."
I guess it did. I knew it was panel construction; real wood, mind you ... half cut logs and rough timber gave it the feel of a log cabin. Like model kits, builders could throw one up in a couple months. "It's the A-frame." I headed up onto the porch. "You either build a pitch into the roof or you shovel snow off your roof come winter." Flipped on the light as I walked in. I could hear Kabe's steps behind me. "Five cent tour of my cabin." I turned and smiled as he shut the door behind him. Thrift store couch, my old recliner and a coffee table I'd made from deer antlers didn't actually say much for my taste. "You're in the living room. That there's the kitchen,"