Hard as You Can (16 page)

Stepping around Shane, Crystal started down a trail that cut through the woods. Some people ran through here to get to the running trails that surrounded the park on the far end, but Crystal never ran this path because something about the woods freaked her out. The isolation made her feel vulnerable in a way running on the street never did. But she figured because the trail wasn’t part of her usual routine, it was safer. No one would expect her there, so no one should be watching.

At least, she hoped.

Looking over her shoulder, she found Shane right behind her. She took off at a jog, needing distance between them and the too many eyes of the apartment complex.

Shane’s footsteps thumped behind her, and he easily kept pace. She hadn’t given any thought to the fact that his jeans and boots weren’t particularly suited to running, but he didn’t complain.

Crystal guided them deeper into the woods until that sense of isolation she usually disliked engulfed them. Only, this time, it was exactly what she wanted.

About midway between her place and the park, they came upon a small clearing. Logs and cinder blocks circled a makeshift fire pit. A few empty beer cans sat off to one side. The rush of the warm breeze through the trees was the only noise around them.

Crystal slowed to a walk, braced her hands on her hips, and turned around. “We should be good here,” she said.

Shane was right there. Fingers gently cupped her chin and tilted it up. This close, the clean scent of soap and leather and man washed over her. “You okay?” he asked.

She nodded. Truth was, she wanted to be okay, but she was kinda jumping out of her skin. Because she was about to cross some lines from which there would be no return.

His gaze narrowed, and he leaned closer yet, his thumb stroking her cheek. “I don’t like that you don’t feel safe to meet in your own apartment,” he said, gray eyes flashing.

Crystal shrugged. “Can’t be helped. For now.”

“You let me know how I can help with that. Just say the word. You hear?” No judgment. No unsolicited advice. Just a free and clear offer of assistance on her terms. His tone was a dark promise that curled around her and made her want to be closer, especially as his gaze warmed with unfettered interest that had her blood pumping harder. But that wasn’t what they were here for. That wasn’t what they were about at all.

But that didn’t mean a part of her didn’t want it. The foreign desire lanced panic through her blood and scattered her thoughts . . .

“How’s Jenna?” he asked, dropping his hand, like he knew she’d gotten tripped up in his words and needed a reprieve.

“Wiped out, but up and about. She’d pulled an all-nighter . . .” Crystal let the words drift off, unsure why she’d told him the cause behind the seizure. Why would he care, anyway?

Shane frowned. “Well, at least you know the whys of it.”

“Yeah,” she said. “So . . .”

He stepped closer, close enough she had to tilt back her head to maintain eye contact. Normally, a man’s invading her space triggered her fight-or-flight reflex. With Shane, the panicky fear whirled in the background of her mind, but there was an instinctive sense of safety, too. Probably ridiculous.

“Thank you for calling,” he said.

“You don’t know what I’m going to say yet.”

For a moment, something seemed to flash through his eyes. But then it was gone, and she wasn’t sure exactly what she’d seen. Probably nothing, as freaked out as she was. Besides, she didn’t know him well enough to read his face, his eyes, his expression, the way she could Bruno.

“True, but no matter what, I know you’re taking a risk. And I want you to know it’s recognized and appreciated.” The breeze blew a loose strand of her hair across her face, and Shane tucked it behind her ear.

Crystal’s heart squeezed. In just a few words, he made her feel more valued than she’d felt in years. A wind gust kicked up around them, swirling more wisps of hair around her face pulled loose from her low ponytail. Why couldn’t she have a life where she could be with a man like this? Maybe next year, once she’d started over.
Yeah, but then it won’t be Shane . . .

True.

And they’d be on the run, so it wasn’t like she’d get to leave all the lies behind, was it? What kind of basis was that for a relationship?

Needing a break from the intensity of his gaze, Crystal glanced down at his chest. Under his black jacket, he wore a threadbare black T-shirt that looked as soft and comfortable as it did old. It was the kind of shirt that invited you to snuggle up against its wearer, or to steal and sleep in it. She almost smiled.

“When you let down your guard, you have the most expressive face,” Shane said, caressing her cheek with his knuckles. The man seemed to revel in touching her in lots of different small ways. Rather than making her feel invaded, Shane’s gentleness made her feel special in a way she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt before.

All the same, Crystal schooled her expression, not sure what she might’ve been giving away but knowing it couldn’t have been anything good.

Shane laughed. “I guess if I want you to let down your guard, I shouldn’t mention it, huh?”

She peered up at him. “Why would you want me to let down my guard?”

He studied her for a long moment. “For all kinds of reasons it might be counterproductive to voice, darlin’.” His tone was part promise, part threat.

“Like what?” She braced her hands on her hips, but he just shook his head. “That’s not fair. Tell me.”

He closed the gap between them, the open edges of his jacket brushing against her light blue tank top. “Really want to know?”

No, you don’t. You really don’t, Crystal.
Heart thundering against her breastbone, she nodded.

“Like you’re beautiful. And I’m attracted to you. And I’m worried about you and your sister. For starters. How’s that?”

For starters? Geez, what else could there be?

Her heart tripped into a sprint, and the heat rising to her skin had nothing to do with the warmth of the afternoon or the jog through the woods. She didn’t know which affected her most, that he thought her beautiful, that he maybe wanted her as much as she wanted him, or that he actually cared about her and her sister. The combination was dizzying and terrifying and the kind of thing she might’ve dreamed up to hear from a man. But then she remembered the scars on her back and knew he wouldn’t feel the same if he saw them. Or, worse, knew how she’d gotten them. She glanced away. “Oh.”

Shane flashed that charming grin that had probably stolen a fair share of hearts in his lifetime. “Yeah. Oh.”

As casually as she could, she retreated a step. The light of the afternoon dimmed, and overhead, the sky grew overcast. A spring storm was rolling in. Time to say what she needed to say so she could get home again. “So, uh, what I wanted to tell you was that I learned something last night,” Crystal rushed out, needing to distract herself from Shane’s honesty. And his interest. It hurt too much to flirt with something she could never have.

Hands landed on the bare skin of her biceps. “Crystal, breathe for me. Just relax.” Shane gently squeezed—

Crystal sucked in a breath as the fingers on his left hand pressed into the very spot where Bruno had grabbed her the night before.

“What?” he said, yanking his touch away. Grasping her hands, he lifted and turned her arms, looking . . . She knew the minute he found the marks on the outside of her right arm. They weren’t dark—not like the time Jenna had learned the kind of man Bruno really was—but the fury that rolled in across his expression told her he had a good idea what had caused them. “He hurt you again,” he said, voice seething.

Shame made heat rise to her cheeks, and she knew they must be absolutely flaming from the feel of it. “Somehow he knew you were in the apartment last night. That’s why I brought you out here.”

“Who’s
he
?” he growled, brows slashed downward. In the distance, thunder rumbled long and low, almost lazily.

Gently pulling her hands out of his, she hugged herself. “His name is Bruno.”

He scoffed. “Figures. This can’t go on, Crystal.”

Jenna’s words echoed in her ears, fueling her embarrassment and stirring up her anger, too. “I know,” she snapped. “I’m working on it. And it’s none of your business anyway.” She pushed past him. This had been such a freaking mistake.

“Wait. Please don’t go. I’m sorry,” he called, his voice gentling.

The regret and earnestness in his voice froze her in place.

“I didn’t mean to criticize you, Crystal. I just cannot abide violence against women. Period. Especially not someone I know.” A long pause. “And definitely not someone I like.” After everything that had happened to her, the words were a balm for her psyche.

Footsteps came up behind her, slowly, cautiously, like she was a wild animal who would bolt in an instant. And she supposed there was some truth to that analogy.

Torn between returning to the danger she knew or staying with the one she didn’t, Crystal debated. Her heart told her Shane might well be the most dangerous man she’d ever met because he made her want, wish, maybe even dream. Not at all sure it was a good idea, Crystal slowly turned.

Shane was right in front of her. A rock in the middle of a raging sea, a refuge she might claim if she had the strength and the will and the nerve to fight for it. To believe she deserved it. She hugged herself.

“Hey,” he said, cupping her face in his big hands. His fingers slid behind her neck and gently massaged.

She shook her head and glanced toward the treetops in an effort to pinch off the sting building behind her eyes. Why did she have to meet him now? She’d had a plan, and all she’d needed to do was follow it for a few more months. “You don’t even know me.”

“No. Not everything. But I know more than a little. And that much I like enough to want to know more.” His fingers rubbed her neck, gently, soothingly.

And his words, well, his words were perfect. Maybe even too much so.
Too good to be true,
she thought. “I already told you I’d share what I’d learned. You don’t have to play me.”

His eyes narrowed, and he frowned. “You listen hard and you listen good, sweetness,” he said, the words firm but the tone urgent, almost desperate, and laced with his southern accent. “I’m not perfect, and God knows I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. But I would never play with a woman’s emotions to get information out of her. That kind of manipulation doesn’t hold with me. Ever.”

Sweetness.
She’d heard everything he’d said. The passion with which he’d said it. The sincerity that burned from his gaze as the words had poured from his lips. But it was the term of endearment that reached into her chest and gripped her heart. For a long moment, they stood there, bodies touching, faces inches apart, his hands holding her in that firm-but-gentle way he had.

Thunder rumbled again, closer this time, and her heart was a drum beat double-timing inside her chest. If his hands didn’t feel it racing, he’d have to hear it, because the sound was a loud
rush rush
in her ears. Beneath the sports bra and tank, her nipples went hard. If his gaze dropped, she knew he’d see, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel self-conscious about it. Not when he was looking at her like he wanted to devour her.

His gaze dropped to her lips.

She shuddered, everything inside her but the smallest voice of reason crying out for him to do it. Just once.

“Tell me not to,” he said, his voice a raw scrape.

“I
CAN
’
T
,”
SHE
whispered in a shaky voice. “I don’t want to.”

Shane’s body took over then, all urgent need and basic instinct. The rest of the world be damned. He pulled her in and kissed her, his lips devouring, his tongue exploring deep. Nothing held back. Nothing denied.

Not even as her lips reawakened the sting from the cut on his lip. Totally worth it.

Crystal’s arms came up around him. She trembled against him, and Shane wasn’t sure if it was caused by adrenaline or fear. Unable to tolerate the thought that she might feel forced, he eased off.

She moaned and held him tighter, like his retreat had made something snap within her. Their kisses deepened, and her body moved against his, sinuously, maddeningly, desperately.

They tasted one another again and again, giving in to the heat that had sparked between them from the moment Crystal had collided with him at Confessions. Little nips and bites of lips and teeth warred with long, sensual strokes of tongue that stole his breath and made him instantly hard. The sting in his lip, the throb of his GSW, the aches from Nick’s asskicking, every bit of it faded away—no, her touch made it all
go
away.

The few times they’d spoken, Crystal had most often been guarded, tentative, fearful. Just as she’d been when he first kissed her. But, now, she was revealing a passionate woman who could be fearless, giving and receiving openly and without hesitation. Christ, the thought that this fierceness was the real Crystal slayed him because it meant she was burying and denying her true self, not because she wanted to, but because she had to.

No, because someone forced her to.

The thought reminded him of the bruises on her arm. Shane had known this woman for three days, and twice in that time she’d been hurt by another man. And both as a consequence for things Shane had done.

A crack of thunder echoed from the heavens, making Crystal jump and gasp into his mouth.

“I’ve got you,” he rasped around a kiss.

Part of him wanted to say more, to tell her he had her and he’d keep her safe. But he couldn’t make himself give up her heat, her sweetness, her obvious hunger—for him. So he made her a silent promise instead.

Never again, Crystal. He’ll never hurt you again. Not on my watch.

Because Shane McCallan had made a mistake like that once. And, as bad as Molly’s disappearance had been, something’s happening to Crystal would actually be worse because Shane knew it was coming. The one break he’d
ever
given himself over Molly was that he’d had no way to know she’d be abducted. Didn’t excuse the role he played in allowing it to happen, but he couldn’t have known. But with Crystal, while he might not know when or how this Bruno asshole would strike out to do the ultimate damage, it was all but a done deal at this point. Always was with guys like him. And Shane would go to the grave before he let it happen, before he failed another female for whom he cared.