Happily Ever Now (Boundless Love Book 2) (8 page)

‘I understand. It’s a moment by moment thing. Anyway, I just wanted to know if you wanted me to go ahead with the order for the sweet sixteen party.’ Alice understood when not to push for information.

‘Yes, that would be great. I think I’ll call it a day, if you don’t mind. I’m feeling a little tired.’

‘That’s fine; everything seems to be under control.’

‘I’ll be in after twelve tomorrow, if not I’ll ask my mother to cover.’

Alice nodded and turned to leave.

‘Alice,’ she called. ‘Thanks for not pushing.’

‘You’re welcome.’

****

That evening she was grateful for Eugene’s call. It had started to get lonely, and the looming doctor’s appointment had made her that more afraid. She didn’t want to startle him, but just hearing his voice was enough to soothe her somewhat.

‘So tell me, what it’s like where you are?’ she asked.

‘Hot!’ he laughed.

‘Lucky you.’ She tried to imagine it. ‘It’s another grey day in Yorkshire, with a chance of rain later this evening.’ She tried to sound like the weather lady on Look North.

‘I’m sorry to hear that, I could try and bring some sunshine with me.’

‘That would be great…I miss you.’

‘I miss you too. I don’t get to see a lot, I’m working all the time, but when I get up into my fancy room, all I think about is you. Holding you and kissing you, making love to you.’

She felt her body fizzle.

‘I want to feel your skin up against mine, kiss your body, cover you in chocolate syrup and lick it all up very, very slowly.’ His voice had lowered.

‘Go on,’ she said excitedly.

‘My tongue will explore every part of you. It will venture down to the very wet parts of you.’

She felt her middle twinge as he said that.

‘I will tease your little flap with my tongue until you come.’

He heard her moan, and he continued to seduce her gently. His low voice turned on switches in her body she didn’t know existed. He teased and tickled her with just the sound of his voice.

The fear of the appointment had melted away and she was carried away into a fantasy land for a while. She made the right sounds that made his member rock hard. He lay back into the luxurious bed and played with his erection. The more she moaned for him, the more he wanted to touch her.

‘I’d jump on a plane right now and be with you,’ he breathed.

She laughed lightly, the build up getting more and more intense. He asked her to describe what she wore and what she was doing to herself. She panted, letting her hands glide between her slit, bringing herself to a climax that she’d only ever experienced with him.

‘I love the sound of your voice,’ she whispered.

‘I love the sound of your enjoyment.’ He whispered back.

Together they explored parts of their body only they had explored on each other. It was like they were in the same room, and yet they were miles apart. Even though their bodies were apart, their minds and souls were together. It wasn’t long before they both found their peak, whispering sweet words of ecstasy to each other.

‘Oh my god! I feel so good after that,’ she said finally lying into the pillow.

‘Good! I do to honey.’ He still wished he was by her side. ‘Besides missing me, is everything okay?’

‘In this moment, everything is okay.’

And it was, the moment was all she had and it reminded her of what was important and to let go of tomorrow because it didn’t exist, at least not yet.

****

‘Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you to the hospital?’ asked Emily.

‘Yes, I’m sure. I’m a big girl, I’ve done this before.’

‘But you don’t have to do it alone.’

‘I know that, but I want to. If I need you I’ll give you a ring.’

‘Okay,’ she said a little reluctant. ‘Don’t worry about anything, I’m sure everything’s okay.’

‘I don’t know, Emily, I have this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that it’s not.’

‘Since when have you been negative?’

‘Since I feel this way, I really can’t help it.’

‘Just see what the doc says, and take it from there.’

‘Yes you’re right.’ She glanced at her watch. ‘I better get going.’

‘Good luck hon.’

‘Thanks, I’ll ring you if anything’s wrong.’

Sahara hung up. She’d decided to ask Eugene’s driver to take her to the hospital. That way, if she couldn’t drive for whatever reason, possible shock, then she’d be able to just sit at the back and try and think about her next move.

The car hooted ten minutes later.

‘Okay, let’s do this.’ She told herself. ‘It has to be faced whether I like it or not.’ She knew that ignoring the symptoms wasn’t an option.

She picked up her belongings and headed for the Jaguar. The driver stepped out, but she only told him to get back in and that she’d open the door herself. He nodded and waited for her to get settled in the back before heading for the hospital.

They arrived at St James thirty minutes later. She took a couple of minutes to build her courage. She could face it, it wasn’t going to be bad news, she was hopeful that it wasn’t.

‘I think I’ll be half an hour to forty five minutes,’ she told the driver.

‘Yes, Miss Young. I’ll just wait here.’

‘Please call me Sahara.’ She corrected him.

‘Yes, of course.’

She nodded, opened the door and headed for the hospital.

The moment she stepped in, old memories returned. Fear grasped at the pit of her stomach and she felt as though she was going to fall down. A part of her didn’t want to step in, but not stepping in wouldn’t solve the problems she had. She just wasn’t sure she’d be able to go through the whole cancer again.

She logged in her arrival and was informed that there were two people before her appointment. That didn’t help calm her nerves, it just heightened them further. She found a seat next to a lady who seemed no calmer. The atmosphere was filled with fear and it tightened her stomach. There were moments when she wished Eugene was with her, but she didn’t want to worry him, not until there was something to actually worry about.

The hospital was busy like it always was, life went on regardless of what went on in other peoples lives. It made her realise just how important living in the now was, and decided to focus on something else. Her eyes drifted to the flowers that sat on the receptionist’s desk. Even though they hadn’t spoken because the automated system had done its job, she could tell that those beautiful yellow sunflowers brightened up the woman’s day. Sahara smiled slightly as she remembered what joy flowers gave her. Their beautiful colours made her relax somewhat and took her attention from the pending dread.

Sahara walked into Doctor Cross’s office twenty minutes later. She smiled at him nervously.

‘It’s good to see you again Sahara.’ He was kind and gentle and had the ability to make her feel at ease, even when her nerves were running rampage in her body.

‘What can I do for you? Looking at your chart you aren’t due for a check up for a couple of months.’

‘Yes, but I’m having some dizzy spells as I mentioned the last time. I’ve taken the multivitamin, but things are still the same. I feel as though it’s getting worse.’

‘Your panic can also contribute to this,’ he said.

‘Yes, maybe, but I’m just so nervous, you know with everything.’

‘I understand, and to be honest, since your last clear, cancer wouldn’t show up that quickly again.’

‘Are you certain about that?’

He wasn’t, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. Doctor Cross was confident that it was something else, other than what she felt. But he could tell by the look on her face that she wouldn’t settle until he took a closer look at things.

‘Okay, I tell you what. I’m going to send you for some tests. We’ll start with some blood tests. If anything’s wrong we’ll definitely find out.’

She nodded.

‘We’ll take it from there.’ He started to write on a piece of paper. ‘Give this to the receptionist and she’ll direct you where to go for tests. It shouldn’t be long. You’ll probably get your results within the next twenty four hours.’

She nodded.

‘Don’t worry yet. I’m almost certain that it isn’t anything serious. It still might be your body is deficient. Keep taking the multivitamin.’

‘Thanks Doctor Cross.’ She stood up.

‘You’re welcome.’

Sahara left the room and headed straight for the reception desk. There were a few things that needed filling out, but she was soon on her way to the Phlebotomist. It was a quick procedure; the woman took blood so quickly it was over before Sahara could even blink.

‘Wow that was fast.’ Sahara patted the plaster on her arm.

‘It’s my job love, do this every minute of the day, you’ll become an expert.’ She smiled.

Sahara laughed lightly. Thanked the woman and made her way out to the waiting car.

‘Could you take me to work, please?’ She told the driver.

‘Certainly.’

By the time Sahara got to the shop, all her nerves had calmed down. The thought of Eugene coming home in a couple of days made it even more so.

‘Hey, how did it go?’ asked Alice. ‘Or shouldn’t I ask.’

‘Ask away, it was okay. Doc sent me for some bloods. He’s certain it’s not cancer, but also not a hundred percent certain.’

‘Well that’s good news. Isn’t it?’

‘It calmed my nerves, but I still get the feeling that something’s wrong.’

‘Don’t you think you’re just paranoid? You’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. It could be the reason you feel the way you do.’

‘True, the Doc suggested the same thing. I think things were moving too fast for me.’

‘Maybe you should join me in one of my meditation sessions.’

‘Thanks for the offer, but that really isn’t me. I’m not into that sort of thing.’

‘Okay, that’s fine. Just thought it would help. Perhaps a massage would do.’

‘Yeah that could help.’ She scanned through the diary. ‘Where are you up to on orders?’

Alice had done the first two orders of the day, there were still a few she had to do before two o’clock that had come through.

‘I guess I’ll start from the third order.’

‘Yes, that would be great. It’s been a busy week.’

‘I’m just grateful we have something to do. I’m glad people still find the joy in sending flowers. Although some flowers aren’t for joyous situations.’

‘But they still manage to brighten up the day.

‘Yes that’s true. Flowers will always remind me of how beautiful the world is. No matter what is going on around us, if we focus back on that beauty, you’ll feel that peace, that joy and that beauty.’ As she started to work, her words began to ring true. She got lost in her love for life, she became engrossed in her passion.

The day hurried along, by the time she’d gazed at her watch, it was already time to go. That moment, the moment she looked at the watch was the moment she was sucked back into reality.

‘I wish there was no time,’ she said suddenly.

‘There isn’t.’ Alice pulled on her jacket, ready to leave. ‘Time is an illusion created by us to mean something that really doesn’t have a meaning.’

Sahara looked at her a little confused. She didn’t know how to react to that.

‘You can’t step in to tomorrow, because it doesn’t exist. Life is just one big event that happens from moment to moment. Time was created by us to give us some sense of control, but the truth is, we have no control over what happens from moment to moment, things just unfold like the flower in the soil. It just is.’

Sahara smiled. Alice was certainly a gift, she hadn’t realised how much of a gift until she worked with her each day.

‘Thanks for that Alice, it has made my life feel a little bit easier.’

‘I know you’re worried about the results, and even if I tell you not to worry, you probably can’t help it.’ She stepped forward towards Sahara and took her hand. ‘But use your love for your work, your love for Eugene, to carry you forward. Spend time here, appreciate what you have, because if you spend time worrying about something you have no control over, it’s wasted time. You will miss the beauty of it all, the reason for living.’

‘And what’s that, what’s the reason for living?’

‘Whatever you choose it to be.’

‘What’s yours?’ Sahara was curious.

Alice smiled. ‘To do whatever makes me the most excited. To do what makes me feel good, regardless of what’s going on in my life.’

‘But how can you do that? Surely there are times when you just want to let it all out, get angry.’

‘True, and that’s healthy because when you’re feeling out of sync with yourself, it’s a clear sign something is going on inside you that needs to be addressed. It’s your fear, your anger, your pain, and as long as you remember that, you’ll always find you’re always in control of things that exist inside you.’