Happily Ever After: The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart (29 page)

Difficult as it may be, often we must wait until an event has long passed before we can fully understand or even appreciate its purpose. Thankfully, it can be well worth the wait.

True that, Karri-Leigh. True that.

If you aren’t able to find any meaning or blessing or shiny silver lining in the wounds of a tragedy, and it’s hard to contemplate moving forward, start by thinking of the people who love you and need you. Then, little by little turn to the simple things. Get out of bed, brush your teeth, get dressed. Attempt to make progress each day, opening your door, then stepping outside, maybe taking a short walk or getting in your car for a drive. Over time, those steps you take toward actively participating in life will hopefully give you back your life—a life that may not have all the answers, but one filled with blessings big and small.

We all may not have the willpower or the courage to donate an organ while still living, let alone at the time of our death, but if you can handle a little pinprick and some pressure for a few minutes,
donating blood or bone marrow can be just as powerful. Just ask James Harrison, aka the “man with the golden arm.” An Australian who needed thirteen liters of blood during a major chest surgery he survived when he was thirteen years old, Harrison vowed to start donating blood when he turned eighteen as a way to give back. Shortly after his initial donation, they determined that his blood contained the Rhesus disease antibody, and it has since been used to save more than 2.4 million babies, including his own daughter. I’d say that’s pretty damn powerful. To find out more about how you can help someone through donating blood, visit
RedCrossBlood.org
, or if you are interested in swabbing your cheek to find out if you could be a bone marrow match, visit my friends at
LoveHopeStrength.org
and click “Get On the List.” You are more powerful than you think.

Do you constantly fret about disasters—either natural or man-made? Think back over your life to the moment that fear began. Was it a near-miss or was it a direct impact? Either way, remember that fear is what you make of it. No matter how disastrous events in your past have been, you have the power to choose your reaction to those events in the present and pave the way toward a fearless future.

Sit back and think about the three most difficult events of your life. Now think about the domino effects that they caused, focusing on even the faintest
glimmers of light that were generated as a result, and write them down. Maybe the loss of a loved one caused you to empathize with someone struggling with the same issue; maybe you made a donation to a charitable organization that helped others in a similar boat; or maybe an injury led you down a new road that you would’ve missed if not for your painful circumstance. Don’t let the cloud of despair overwhelm you; instead look (very closely) for the sun and the stars undeniably shining behind it. Light exists in the darkness—we just need to adjust our eyes to see it.

“Thank You” Is a Verb

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

—W
ILLIAM
A
RTHUR
W
ARD

CHAPTER TEN

I
F YOU’VE REACHED THIS PART IN THE BOOK
, I
HOPE YOU
have it ingrained in your mind that gratitude and happiness go hand-in-hand. It improves your outlook and well-being and, as the
Huffington Post
recently reported, it can also help you sleep better, strengthen your relationships, increase life satisfaction, boost immunity, and decrease stress.

But feeling grateful is not quite enough—you’ve got to put it out there into the universe and let the people you appreciate hear it. There’s no doubt the recipient of your thanks will feel great, but many studies show that when you share your gratitude you also share in the joy. So, if you are ready to start sharing, check out some of my favorite ways to say thank you below.

Write a Note

There’s something about a handwritten note that makes people feel special. Even though it takes more time than a quick text, a phone call, or an e-mail covered in smiley faces (and if you have been a recipient of my e-mails, you know I am a repeat offender), a personally penned message sent through the good ol’ post office is worth the extra effort.

When someone does a kindness for me or for my family, I never worry that a written note of thanks is wrong. It may need to be accompanied by a thoughtful gift or reciprocated action, but the heartwarming feeling of opening a letter sent in the mail isn’t something that gets lost on many people.

With my crazy schedule, it may take quite a bit of time for thank-you notes to reach the top of my priority list, so I’ve devised a system to ensure they get done. Any time someone does something caring or sends something special for the kids, Ryan, or me, I immediately place a blank note card and the person’s address into my thank-you folder. Yes, I have a thank-you folder. Since my memory is less than stellar, my thank-you-note folder ensures that I won’t forget any important kindnesses that our family has been blessed to receive (at least in theory). It may be months before I write the note, but I know I’ll get there eventually, and, hopefully, when I do, the recipient will realize the sincerity of my thanks.