Hand-Me-Down Love (4 page)

By that time,
Cynthia had moved back to the family home in Bay Point to be near
Meredith. Bob stayed in Mobile during the week and came home to Bay
Point every weekend. They spent as much time as they could with
Meredith and helped out whenever possible. Cynthia cooked meals for
Sean once a week and made several soups for Meredith to eat during
the week. Soup was the only thing Meredith wanted to eat. It was the
only thing she could keep down.

They set up a
schedule. Cynthia stayed with Meredith every morning until noon.
Marla stayed with her the rest of the day until Sean got home. “How
is she today?” Marla asked her mother at the changing of the shift.
And then one day, about a week in to the new schedule, Cynthia said,
“I think she’s better! I can hardly believe it. She wanted a
sandwich with her soup and she got up for a little while. She wanted
to sit on the patio.” Cynthia had tears in her eyes. She gave Marla
a hug.

Meredith got
stronger every day. She got up after Sean left for work and walked
with Cynthia around her neighborhood’s oak-lined streets. She went
further every day. After about three weeks she told Cynthia and Marla
that she thought she could make it on her own. She wanted to get back
to the business of taking care of her house and cooking meals. Her
energy seemed boundless. It was March, and Meredith flowered with the
rest of the world as it came into spring. Azaleas bloomed throughout
the town and all around Meredith and Sean’s house. Meredith spent a
lot of time sitting on her porch, admiring the world as if she were
seeing it for the first time. “I’m fine,” she said every time
Marla called. And she looked fine every time Marla saw her. She
looked vibrant.

Chapter
Five

In early April,
Marla was at an estate sale when Meredith called her cell. Marla
walked into a hallway of the massive house she was in to take the
call.

“
I’m
starting to feel numb on my left side,” Meredith said. “I’ve
been ignoring it, but it’s getting too much to ignore now.”

“
How long has
this been happening?” Marla asked. She was filled with dread. The
past few weeks had been a fantasy with everyone thinking Marla had
somehow beaten her cancer. The reality of the situation hit Marla
hard.

“
I guess a
couple of weeks. It’s gotten worse. I called the doctor and he
wants me to come in tomorrow morning. Can you go with me?”

“
Of course,”
Marla said. “What does Sean say?”

“
He doesn’t
know. He’s been so happy lately, I hate to worry him.”

Dr. Nelson
confirmed Marla’s worst fear. He was a kind man, but he didn’t
beat around the bush.

“
Your tumor
may have grown and is pressing on nerves that control the left side
of your body. We’re going to get a CT scan to see what’s going
on. If it has grown, we can do chemo again to try to shrink it. The
location of the tumor makes it difficult to treat in any other way.”

The sisters
left the doctor’s office in a state of shock. They didn’t talk
for a while as Marla drove them back to Bay Point. When they were
half-way home, Marla reached over and squeezed Meredith’s hand.

“
I don’t
think I can do chemo again,” Meredith said. “I think I would
rather just keep going like I am. At least I have some quality of
life like this. Not with chemo.”

Marla wanted to
shout at Meredith, “Please do the chemo! I want you here on this
earth no matter what.” She knew that was selfish. She had seen how
chemo had sucked the life out of Meredith. But she wanted her big
sister around forever and ever. Meredith and Sean’s Craftsman
bungalow sat on the top of a hill in the historic district of Oak
Point and had a killer view of the bay. The young couple had worked
tirelessly on the house when they first took ownership. It had not
been updated for decades. Meredith had spent hours of every day
researching paint colors and landscaping. While Sean worked every day
at the bank, Meredith had overseen the refurbishment of the kitchen,
the refinishing of the hardwood floors, the remodeling of the
bathrooms, the landscaping around the house with Japanese maples and
extra azaleas—the house was already surrounded with vivid magenta
and red and white azaleas. The patio was redone with old brick and
the back yard was a little forest of hardwoods and magnolias. One
bush that Meredith protected during the renovations was a tea olive,
its sweet scent wafting through the yard in the spring and fall.

Marla drove up
the driveway and parked in front of the carport. She and Meredith got
out of the car and went into the house through the kitchen door.
Marla noticed right away that things had gotten messy in the house.
The sink was full of dishes and water that was cold and dirty
looking.

“
I’ll help
you pick up before Sean gets home,” Marla offered, eyeing the
encrusted plates that were still on the kitchen table. Meredith
didn’t say anything and went back to her bedroom. Marla followed.
Meredith lay down on the bed and curled into the fetal position.

“
Are you
okay?” Marla asked. “Can I get you anything?”

“
I just need
to rest for a little while,” Meredith said without opening her
eyes.

Marla left
Meredith in the bedroom and went back to the kitchen. She spent the
next half hour cleaning the dirty dishes, wiping down the granite
countertops, and sweeping the floors. She went back to the bedroom
where Meredith was sound asleep.

Marla checked
over the entire house, picking up dirty laundry, straightening the
den, cleaning the bathrooms. She didn’t want to leave Meredith
alone. Sean would be home soon, and Marla decided to wait on him. She
sat in the den and watched television mindlessly until she heard Sean
come in the kitchen door.

She got up from
the couch and went into the kitchen. “Hey,” she said. He looked
surprised to see her.

“
Meredith is
taking a nap and I didn’t want to leave her alone,” Marla said.

“
Oh,” Sean
said. “Why is that? Is she okay?”

“
She’s
fine. I just didn’t want to leave while she was asleep in case she
woke up and I wasn’t here, that’s all. But I think I’ll go now,
if that’s all right with you.”

“
Sure,” he
said, his tone perplexed.

Marla left,
knowing that Sean was going to get some more bad news. She hated
that. She had come to see that he was a sensitive person, in spite of
the corporate life he led. In spite of the suits and ties he wore
every day to work. In spite of the public relations work he did all
day long. In spite of all of the things Sean did on the surface, he
was a deep-feeling person, Marla could tell that.

Chapter
Six

The next morning,
Marla lay in bed staring at the ceiling. She had painted all of the
ceilings in the apartment a smoky blue shortly after she moved in,
and now she stared at it unseeing, thinking about getting up. Lucy
had demanded her food a couple of hours earlier, and Marla had
stumbled out of bed to feed her. But she had gone back to bed, not
ready to face the realities of the day. Lucy was nudged against her
legs. The cell phone rang and Marla reached for it.

“
He wants me
to do radiation and chemo again,” Meredith said without preamble.
“We were up all night arguing about it. I finally agreed.”

Marla felt
relief spread through her. “I’m glad,” she said.

“
I understand
what he’s saying,” Meredith said. “But it nearly killed me the
last time. If I only have a little time left, I don’t want to spend
it like that. Do you understand that?”

“
Yes,”
Marla said. “I understand that. But I understand how Sean feels
too, because that’s how I feel.”

Meredith
sighed. “I know. I get it. If the results come back that the tumor
has grown, I’ll do it.”

And the tumor
had grown. And Meredith had radiation and chemo again. But it didn’t
touch the tumor. The tumor was relentless. The chemo ruled Meredith’s
life, and she was sick all of the time.

Marla went to
stay with Meredith every afternoon, as she had before. One day when
she walked into the spare bedroom, the sick room, Meredith said, “I’m
done with this. I talked to Sean last night and he has agreed to let
me stop. I was so relieved. But he’s hurting, Marla. He’s really
hurting, and I don’t know how to help him.”

Marla went to
the side of Meredith’s bed. “I’m sorry, Merrie,” she said
trying not to cry. “I’m sorry.”

“
Just help me
get my strength back, okay?” Meredith said. “Help me so I can
have some good times before I go.”

Marla nodded.
She was fighting her tears, but they rolled down her cheeks anyway.

“
I wish you
didn’t have to go through this, Marla,” Meredith said. “I wish
Sean didn’t have to. I wish Mom and Dad didn’t have to. I just
don’t know how to stop it.”

Marla sat on
the side of her sister’s bed and held her hand. After a while,
Meredith turned on the television that sat in front of the bed in an
antique armoire. The sisters watched Jerry Springer and laughed and
laughed.

The week after
stopping chemo, Meredith began to improve slowly. She got out of bed
every day, and by the second week, she was taking short walks outside
or roaming around in the back yard.

“
I never
realized how many birds we have back here,” she said one day in the
back yard. “I wish I knew the names of them. I’ve had all this
time on earth and never bothered to learn what kind of birds they
are.” She turned to Marla and laughed. Meredith’s blond hair
shone in the sun. Marla laughed with her and refused to cry. She
would remember Meredith like that, on that day, forever. She would
remember Meredith turning her head, her blond hair swinging in the
sunlight, the smile on her face. Forever.

Before Marla
got back to the shop that day, Meredith was calling.

“
Could you go
to the store and get some things. I want to show you how to make
gumbo. You need to know.”

Marla got the
list from Meredith. It included green bell peppers and onions, lump
crab meat, stewed tomatoes, and okra. “I’ve got some shrimp from
that last jubilee, so we’re okay on that,” Meredith said.

The next
afternoon, Meredith greeted Marla at the door. “We’ve got a lot
to do, sister,” she said leading Meredith into the kitchen. Marla
could see that Meredith was tired and she sat her sister down in a
dining chair. “You just tell me what to do,” she said to
Meredith. But Meredith insisted on standing up and guiding Marla
through the complex gumbo process.

“
I peeled the
shrimp earlier,” Meredith said, holding up her hand when Marla
protested. “I can still peel shrimp,” Meredith said. “I’ve
put the shells on to boil in some water and it’s making a nice
fishy broth.”

Marla could see
there was no stopping Meredith.

“
Put the oil and
the flour in the Dutch oven,” Meredith instructed. “Now you’re
gonna stand there for a while making the roux. It’s got to get to
be the color of mahogany.” And Marla stood at the stove scraping
the roux with a wooden spoon. It gradually got darker and darker and
eventually it became the color of mahogany. Meredith, who was taking
a rest in the chair, stood up then and walked to the stove. “Yes,”
she said. “That’s it. Okay, now put in the onions and celery and
bell pepper and let them soften. That’s what we call the holy
trinity, girl.” Marla did as she was told.

After a few minutes,
Meredith told Marla to strain the shrimp broth and pour it into the
roux mixture. “We’ll add the shrimp and crab toward the end,”
she said. “Go ahead and put in the andouille sausage in a few
minutes.”

Marla added the
tomatoes and sliced okra and let the pot simmer. She sat at the
table with Meredith and sipped on a glass of wine.

“
I know you’ve
been resisting learning how to make gumbo for years,” Meredith said
with a laugh. “But the time has come for you to learn it. It’s a
tedious process, that’s for sure. But it’s worth it.”

After the okra was
cooked, Meredith told Marla to add the seasoning, which consisted
mostly of Old Bay and Cajun seasoning. “Taste it!” Meredith
said. “You’ve got to taste it to know it’s right.” Marla
tasted it and added some more Old Bay. Meredith said it was time to
add the shrimp, which Marla did. “Now add the crab meat,”
Meredith said. “And let it simmer for a few minutes.”

When it was time,
Marla put the gumbo into two bowls for herself and Meredith. The
sisters ate hungrily, slurping the spicy broth from their spoons.