Hand-Me-Down Love (11 page)

The gray sky turned
to black. Marla walked through the dark apartment and stood beside
the bed, removing her clothes before crawling under the covers. Lucy
had settled beside Sean’s leg and didn’t move. Marla closed her
eyes, hoping sleep would come soon.

“
I know you love
her as much as I do,” Sean said into the black room. He touched her
arm in the dark.

“
Yes,” she said.
“I love her. I miss her so much I can’t stand it.”

“
I love you, too,
Marla,” he said. “I know it doesn’t seem right or fair, but I
do. I love you.”

He turned on his
side and put his arm around her. She pulled herself over to his chest
and settled there as he stroked her arm. “I love you too,” she
said. Both of them were worn out with the emotions of the day and
they slept in each other’s arms all night.

Early the next
morning, Marla woke up leaving Sean in the bed. As soon as she had a
cup of coffee she went down to the shop and called Jada.

“
I’ve got a lot
of things to take care of with Sean’s house this week. It’s kind
of sudden, I know, but can you take care of things for me for a few
days?”

Marla drove to a
Wal-Mart in Mobile and stocked up on boxes and large plastic
containers and went to Sean’s house. Sean’s house. Not Sean and
Meredith’s house. Nobody’s house anymore, really, Marla thought.
It was a dead house.

The master bedroom
closet was full of Meredith’s clothes. The last time Marla had gone
through the closet it was to get Merrie’s blue dress. With eyes
full of tears, she took down each dress, each blouse, each skirt and
carefully folded them and placed them in the plastic containers. She
ran her fingers over the embroidery on a peasant blouse Meredith had
bought in Mexico and worn every summer since. The hardest of all was
seeing Meredith’s wedding dress, protected in a zippered plastic
bag.

Marla tried to work
like an automaton removing the clothes and shoes. There was so much
to be done. She thought about calling her mother for help but then
thought better of it. She didn’t want to put her mother through it.

Sean kept his
clothes in a spare bedroom closet and Marla tackled it next. She put
them in a plastic container marked “Sean’s Clothes.” He might
want them, or he might not, but she would give him the option.

With the clothes out
of the way, Marla stripped every bed and put the sheets and
bedspreads in large plastic bags. She did the same with extra linens
and all of the towels. By lunchtime, all of the closets and clothes
drawers were emptied and packed. Marla took Meredith’s jewelry box
and put it in her car. She planned to hide it somewhere in her
apartment so that Sean wouldn’t see it.

Once she was back on
the road, she called Jada. “I’m going to get lunch for everybody
at Shrimper’s, unless you’ve got other plans. Is Derrick there?”

“
Yes, he’s
here,” Jada said. “Shrimper’s sounds good. I’ll tell him.”

“
Jada, I was
thinking of asking Derrick if he could go over to the house with me
tomorrow and the next day to help me. Do you think he’d be okay
with that?”

“
I’m sure he
would be,” Jada said. “We don’t have any deliveries or anything
this week and he can stop the stuff he’s doing with the furniture
here.”

Thirty minutes
later, Marla walked in the shop door with four shrimp baskets with
hushpuppies and French fries. Jada came up to help her and they put
the baskets on the desk. “Hey, Derrick,” Marla said as he walked
through the door. “I brought lunch.”

Jada and Derrick
each picked up a basket and went outside to the courtyard to eat.
Marla went up the steps with the baskets for her and Sean. “I’ve
got lunch,” she called when she opened the door. Sean came around
the corner and sat at the table. Marla sat with him and they began to
eat the fried shrimp.

“
I know it must’ve
been terrible for you today,” Sean said. The spark had gone out of
his eyes and he was unsmiling.

“
It wasn’t
easy,” Marla said truthfully. “But I got a lot done. I think I
can get it taken care of in the next couple of days.”

“
I know it’s not
fair that you’re doing everything. You’ve always done
everything.”

Marla put down the
shrimp she was about to eat and looked at Sean. “This isn’t about
fairness or anything like that. She was my sister and I consider it
an honor to do this. Merrie would want me to do this. She would want
to lessen your pain, I know that. She knew I could do it.”

“
And she probably
knew I couldn’t,” he said.

“
What she knew is
that it would be too hard for you. She knew that and that’s why she
asked me to look after you.”

“
She did?” Sean
said, surprised. “She asked you that?”

Maybe Marla
shouldn’t have told Sean that. She thought it might reassure him,
but maybe it didn’t.

“
Is that why
you’re doing everything?” he asked.

“
No, that’s not
why I’m doing everything. I’m doing what I want to do.”

“
Is that why
you’re. . .” His voiced trailed off. Then he looked directly at
her and said, “Is that why you’ve been with me?”

She knew what he
meant by that. He wanted to know if that’s why she was having sex
with him.

“
Absolutely not!”
she said emphatically. “I’ve been with you because I care deeply
about you. It just happened naturally, maybe because we’re both
grieving and found comfort in each other. I don’t know. I just know
that it’s real for me.”

He nodded.

“
The rest of the
world may think it’s wrong, but I don’t think that Merrie would
think that. I think she would want us to find comfort and love. I
really believe that.”

“
I believe that
too,” he finally said. “If I didn’t believe that, then I
wouldn’t be doing it.”

Marla walked around
to where Sean was sitting and put her arm around his shoulders. He
took her other arm in both of his hands. After a few minutes, Marla
said, “I’m going back down to the shop for a little while. Will
you be all right up here?”

“
I think so,”
Sean said. “I just didn’t realize how hard it was going to hit me
going back to the house. I’m going to get better, I promise.”

“
We’ll get
better together,” she said and walked down the stairs.

Chapter
Thirteen

Marla and Derrick
worked on Sean’s house for the next two days, packing all of the
kitchen in one morning. That was tougher than the clothes. Meredith
had loved to cook. She was one of those natural cooks who threw
things in without measuring and made up her own recipes. Marla should
have paid better attention to that, should have asked more questions.

Cynthia called on
one of the packing days and Marla had no choice but to tell her what
was going on. Cynthia wanted to help, but Marla encouraged her not
to. She said that everything would be in storage if they wanted
anything, and Cynthia surprisingly agreed. Marla knew she wasn’t
ready to face the emptying out of her dead daughter’s house.

Derrick arranged for
a large climate-controlled storage room on the edge of town, and on
the third day of packing, the movers came. In and out of the house
they went with sofas and beds, tables and chests of drawers. Then
they packed the labeled containers and drove off with Derrick to the
storeroom. Marla stayed behind and cleaned every room, vacuumed and
mopped every floor, wiped down every countertop. And it was done.

She left close to
six, exhausted. She had already called Donna Meadows, a local
realtor, about listing the house.

“
You wouldn’t
believe how many of my customers have asked me about that house,”
Donna said. “They want something like that. I think I might be able
to sell it without even officially putting it on the market.”

And that’s exactly
how it happened. A young couple with an eight-month-old baby bought
the house. Marla was glad but it made her sad, too. She couldn’t
help but think about how Meredith and Sean were planning on a baby
when they found out Merrie was sick. They would have been so happy
together in that house with their baby.

Marla arranged for
the closing to happen through fax. Donna faxed the papers to the
shop, Sean signed them, and Marla faxed them back. It was the only
way Marla knew how to deal with it, and Sean was glad he didn’t
have to sit around a table at closing and sign a bunch of papers with
strangers taking over his house. Sean and Meredith’s worldly
belongings were in storage, the house was sold, and that part was
over.

The entire
process—from the packing to moving to closing had only taken three
weeks. It was a record sale, Donna said. She was happy because she
got a nice commission and she had made her customers happy.

Sean had begun to
lighten up and was working down in the shop again with Derrick. His
hair had grown even longer, but he didn’t care and neither did
Marla. They had resumed their sexual relationship and they were both
as happy as they could be, considering.

Then Cynthia called.
Marla was sitting at her desk with a cup of tea, Jada was working on
the vintage side, and Sean and Derrick were out at an estate sale.

“
I don’t like
asking you this,” Cynthia said after Marla said “hello.” “But
I guess I have to. I saw Mrs. Answorth yesterday at the bank.”

Here it comes, Marla
thought. She and Sean had never talked about Mrs. Answorth because of
everything else that had happened. They had forgotten.

“
She said she saw
Sean at the shop a while back. She said he went out the back door.”

“
That’s right,”
Marla said. “He was here that day.”

“
What was he doing
there? I thought he was in Mobile.”

“
He was in Mobile,
but he came here.”

“
Why?” Cynthia
asked. She was relentless and Marla didn’t know what to tell her
mother. So she told her the truth. Well, sort of the truth.

“
He was here
because he’s been helping me out in the shop. He doesn’t know
what he wants to do, so he’s been helping me out.”

“
Well, where is he
living?” Cynthia asked. “He can’t possibly be staying in Mobile
and driving to Bay Point to work in the shop.”

“
No, he doesn’t
have his place in Mobile anymore,” Marla said. This was getting
rough.

“
Then where is he?
He doesn’t have a house anymore.”

“
Mom, Sean is
staying with me. I offered to let him stay here for a while. He’s
having a rough time.”

“
Oh,” Cynthia
said. There was silence from her end.

“
How long has he
been there?”

And Marla lied to
her mother again. “Since after the holidays,” she said. If she
had told her mother the truth—since early November—then her
mother would have known she lied to her at Thanksgiving.

“
Is he in the
other bedroom?” Cynthia asked.

“
Mom,” Marla
said, exasperated. “Where do you think he is?”

“
I’m sorry,”
Cynthia said. “I’m just trying to figure this out.”

“
Mom,” Marla
said gently. “I promised Merrie that I’d look after Sean. She was
very concerned about that and asked me to do it. He hasn’t been
good. So I offered to let him stay here awhile. So I can keep my eye
on him like Merrie wanted.”

“
I understand,”
Cynthia said. “I just don’t know what people will think.”

“
Well, I don’t
care what they think and you shouldn’t either,” Marla said
angrily. “He’s your son-in-law and I’m your daughter. I don’t
know what else you need to know about it. Screw everybody else.”

“
You know how much
we care about Sean,” Cynthia said. “He’s like our son. I’m
just going to have to get used to the idea that he’s over there,
that’s all.”

“
I’m sorry,
Mom,” Marla said. “I’m not having such an easy time with things
myself, and I know you and Dad aren’t. I guess I hope that you can
understand that Sean needs me right now. And if I can help him, then
I’m helping myself. I’m helping Merrie.”

“
That does make
sense,” Cynthia said uncertainly.

They said goodbye
and Marla went up to her apartment and cried. Things were getting
complicated and she didn’t know how to deal with it. Sean found her
in the bed later. He got in beside her and pulled her over.