Hanchart Land (12 page)

She grinned at him. "Rosa's going to think you've locked me in the bedroom. She'll be up here to free me soon." 

"She's worried you haven't had anything to eat and you might be starving to death," he explained, moving a few steps to the door. He turned back to her, leaning his right shoulder against the frame. While crossing his arms over his chest, he fastened his gaze on her again.

His stance was casual, and she couldn't help but admire the sleek, beautiful lines of his body. He wore his usual attire of snug, worn jeans and a T-shirt that hugged his chest and arms. A sudden mental image of all that masculine beauty in the nude brought a rush of longing so intense she shuddered.

It suddenly occurred to her that most newlyweds felt the same. That's why they needed extended honeymoons. They just couldn't bear to be parted. He was still within a few feet of her and yet she missed him.

She knew her eyes were full of hungry need as they met his. His flared in recognition of the hunger, but she swiftly redirected her attention. "Now that you mention it, food does sound pretty good."

He didn't comment on her provocative body language. "Rosa made sandwiches and told the men to fend for themselves, but she'll probably make an exception for you."

She didn't want special attention from the housekeeper. "I imagine she's busy."

The reminder of party plans dampened her good mood. She wasn't ready to face so many people. All she wanted to do was spend time with him. She didn't want to be the center of everyone's attention or have to start dodging personal questions. The subject of her marriage to two Hanchart men would be of unbearable interest.

"We still have to talk," he reminded, eyes narrowing.

Panic surged through her. Now that he knew a few of the details about her relationship with Shane, he wanted to know why she'd married his cousin. He'd asked her several times during the night, but she'd managed to put off explaining.

She couldn't get by with it much longer, yet she dreaded the pain and humiliation the truth would bring. She didn't want the ugliness to mar the sweetness of what they'd found together.

"But not right now?" She pleaded for more time.

His expression hardened. "You can trust me with your body, but not your secrets?" he ground out.

"It's not like that," she countered.

"Do you think it's going to hurt my feelings? Did you marry him just because he got the good looks and the charm? Because he was everybody's idea of the perfect catch?"

"No!" She'd never been drawn to Shane physically or emotionally. She'd never preferred him over Luke, but her new husband wouldn't believe that without knowing all the details. Maybe not even then.

"Do you really think I'm that shallow?" she asked, dropping her eyes to where her fingers nervously plucked at the sheet.

He didn't answer, and she dared a glance at him. She could tell by the tightening of his mouth he didn't like her defensive question any more than she liked his. He was closing up again, shutting her out and destroying the intimacy they'd created throughout the night.

"Why does it matter so much? Why does it have to affect us?" she beseeched. "Can't we just let it go?"

"It's a fact. You married him," his tone was hard. "That's not going to change, and believe me, nobody's going to let us forget it."

"If I had the power to change it, I would," she insisted, eyes wide and pleading. "But I don't. It was a mistake. We were all wrong for each other, and we made a horrible, regrettable mistake."

"Then why did you do it in the first place?" he demanded, straightening from his relaxed position and glaring at her with suddenly hostile eyes. "What made you think you could make it work if neither of you really wanted it?"

When she gave no response, he continued, "If you fancied him, why didn't you have a real marriage? Did he scare you? Was he a sexual pervert of some kind?"

Susan looked him straight in the eyes. "I was not in love with him, and I didn't care about his sexual preferences as long as he stayed away from me."

She flinched when the declaration seemed to make him more angry. It was impossible to comprehend her marriage to Shane without knowing all the details. She understood his frustration, and knew she'd have to confess the truth to him soon.

"Please, Luke. Just give us a little more time."

"Us?" he growled. "Just us. Without Shane's ugliness."

His retort held more anger and frustration. "You can't just wish it away."

"I know." She couldn't put him off much longer, but she wanted to pretend they were a normal, happy couple. At least for a few more hours.

"I promise I'll explain everything tomorrow. Just let me get through this party tonight." She wanted another night in his arms, too, another night to help cement their relationship before he learned the whole ugly truth. His eyes bored into hers, searching for secrets. Finding only entreaty, he abruptly changed the subject. "I've got to get back downstairs and help set things up."

Susan breathed a sigh at the reprieve. She hated his contempt and mistrust, but not as much as the idea of disclosing the truth.

"I'll take a quick shower and come help."

"You know we're going to catch hell from the family, don't you?" He added another worry. "Especially since Granddad was the only one who was invited to the ceremony."

"Will they have to know we had a party with the ranch staff?" That would add insult to injury.

"There's no keeping secrets around here. Granddad already had a call from Linda. She's on the warpath."

Susan gnawed her lip. "Will she make a scene?"

"Probably not in front of half the community, but there are lots of mean, subtle ways to show displeasure. She knows 'em all."

He was right. Linda would have condemned their plans from the beginning and done everything in her power to thwart them. Now she'd be furious because they hadn't included her. It was a no-win situation.

"She'll just have to get over it.” She'd let Shane's sister intimidate her before, but not any longer.

"Just remember she can't hurt you if you don't let her. You're my wife now. If she causes trouble, she answers to me." On that, he turned and left the room.

Susan fell back against the pillows and pulled the sheet over her head. The desire to shut out the rest of the world was strong. She just wanted Luke, and wished their relationship wasn't so complex. For at least the millionth time she wished she'd never met Shane Hanchart.

She could have gone to Luke as soon as Shane started blackmailing her, but she'd been too scared and humiliated. Her first concern at that point had been protecting her brother. He'd been so young and vulnerable and confused.

He was all the family she'd had left, and she would have done anything to protect him. It had been her responsibility to care for him. As the elder, she'd had more time to develop self-worth and emotional security. Butch had so little of both.

Looking back, she knew she hadn't really helped her brother by marrying Shane. She'd only compounded his feelings of guilt and inadequacy. The decisions she'd made had been the wrong ones. That was obvious now.

Butch had died when his motorcycle crashed into a tree, but she'd never been certain the wreck was an accident. He'd been so depressed and had been drinking heavily. Nothing she did ever seemed to help. His death would burden her conscience for the rest other life.

Doctor Peters had counseled her at the time, telling her Butch needed to learn to cope with his problems. He'd explained that lots of young people her brother's age faced even worse situations than the death of their parents.

Spoiling Butch had done more harm than good, but she hadn't known how else to protect him. Every time she'd tried to lecture him, he'd looked so forlorn and bereft she couldn't stand it.

She'd let him get away with skipping school, driving too fast, staying out too late. There had been a couple skirmishes with the sheriff for curfew, then Butch had turned eighteen and become a legal adult. The problems had gotten worse until finally one became blackmail material.

Thoughts of her brother always made Susan painfully sad, so she tried not to dwell on the past. Now Luke was insisting she relive it all with explanations. It made her feel bereft, too. There was a chance the truth would cost her his tentative trust. She knew one night of loving couldn't erase all the heartache they'd suffered, but it was a new beginning.

She hoped she'd gained a little respect from him last night. He couldn't help but notice how inept and inexperienced she was, refuting Shane's claims about her sexual appetites. If Luke realized he was her first and only lover, maybe it would put a dent in the armor around his heart.

He had plenty of experience with women, of that she was certain. The knowledge brought a stab of jealousy, but it was tempered with common sense. His experience could benefit her, too. She wanted him to know how special he was to her.

She wanted him to be the one who taught her everything there was to learn about loving. She wanted all his faith, love and trust, she thought, burrowing her head into the pillow. Unfortunately, those were things that had to be earned. She couldn't expect his unconditional acceptance if she wasn't willing to trust him with the truth.

Maybe she could solve the problem with most of the truth. She'd already told him she and Shane weren't lovers, so why did he need to know about the blackmail? It would only make things worse. Maybe she could get by with a partial explanation for the whole family.

They'd all be here tonight. Shane's sister, Linda, and her husband, Dan Tarken, lived closest and had two children, Molly, age ten, and Alex, six. Their chunk of Hanchart property was within ten miles of the main ranch, so they were the most frequent visitors.

Their brother Brad, and his wife, Lynette, had two young daughters; Tami, five, and Paige, three. Brad ranched another Hanchart property a hundred miles further south, closer to Lynette's family. They reserved their visits to holidays and special occasions.

Shane's mother, Bernice, had remarried and moved to the East Coast after the death of their father. She visited occasionally, but didn't get involved with family affairs.

Although Luke was the oldest of the Hanchart grandchildren at age thirty, Linda was only a year younger. Brad was a couple years behind her, and Shane had been the baby. For all intents and purposes, Linda reined as matriarch of what was left of the family.

Susan wasn't looking forward to seeing her sister-in-law. While the other woman had never been openly hostile, she'd made it clear she didn't approve of a marriage between her beloved younger brother and an orphaned woman with no family wealth or social standing.

During the two years of her marriage to Shane, Susan had never done anything to endear herself to his family. She'd attended very few get togethers because Luke's cold contempt had stung, even though she deserved it. Seeing him with other women had hurt, as well, so she hadn't been very sociable. It was mostly her own fault Linda resented her, she mused. Now she had to find a way to bridge the gap caused by her own indifference because they were Luke's family, too.

Her thoughts drifted over various ways of explaining her motivations without causing even more scandal, and then she drifted back to sleep.

* * * * *

    The next time Susan woke, it was to the sound of the shower running in the adjoining bathroom. She sat straight up in bed and glanced toward the window. It had to be late afternoon. A glance at the clock on the dresser confirmed the fact. It was after five o'clock.

Dear heaven, she'd slept the whole day! What would everyone think? It sure wasn't the best way to make an impression on her new ranch family, she thought, shoving her hair back from her face.

There was a tray of food on the bedside stand, and she checked out the contents. Luke was obviously in the shower, and she was starving. She helped herself to a sandwich, some fruit, and a glass of milk. It was still cool, so she guessed it hadn't been in the room long.

The shower shut off just as she was placing the empty tray back on the stand. She jumped out of bed and grabbed a cotton robe to cover herself before he returned to the bedroom. It was embarrassing enough to have slept all day, she didn't want him to find her still naked in bed.

Her hair was a mess. She was standing in front of the dressing-table mirror trying to brush it into some order when he opened the bathroom door. One look at him had her hand pausing in midair.

Heat rushed through her body at his sheer masculine beauty. Wearing only white jockey shorts, there was a lot of naked male flesh revealed. Her fingers curled on the urge to stroke his broad chest and ridged stomach, to feel the length of him pressed against her.

Her intense, uninhibited perusal and the admiration in her gaze had a significant affect on his big body. She watched in fascination as his arousal became evident and the hard column of flesh strained against the confines of his underwear. Her pulse became erratic, gaze flying to his in amazement.

"You didn't know you could excite a man with just the look in your eyes?" he asked.

His tone was a mixture of arrogance and annoyance. Susan couldn't tell if he was annoyed with her or just the circumstances. Did he resent the affect she had on him or was he as easily aroused by other women, too?

She frowned. "I guess I never thought about it much at all."

She watched as he closed his eyes and turned his back on her. She might be naive in some ways, but instinct told her he was fighting a surge of desire he deeply resented. His battle for control fascinated her even more than his swift arousal. Their reactions to each other were remarkable, and she wanted more time to explore him.

"We have to get through this damned party," he insisted, echoing her thoughts. They couldn't be alone again until much later.

Susan took his cue and refocused her attention. Grabbing clean underwear from her drawer, she asked, "What time will people start arriving?"

"The family will be probably be here around six. Granddad and everyone else, after seven."