Hanchart Land (10 page)

Trusting him with her body meant trusting him more than she'd ever trusted any other human being. The thought was daunting. Especially since she knew his desire was only founded in physical need.

When the shower shut off she was both anxious and panicked again. Then Luke came through the door and all conscious thought left her mind.

She could only feel. Feel the impact the sight of his big body wrapped in nothing but a towel. He was using another towel to rub excess water off his hair, and the muscles in his arms flexed with the action. His chest was broad and covered with a whorl of golden hair that arrowed past the towel. His legs were long and muscled and strong.

His gaze was leveled on her as he tossed one towel aside and finger-combed his hair while moving toward the bed. Susan's heart was pounding with a suffocating rhythm, pumping overheated blood throughout her body. Her chest rose and fell and her nipples beaded again. When he loosened the towel from his waist, her gaze dropped. It found more golden curls and fully erect evidence of his arousal.

Her breath scattered, and her gaze flew to his. His features were tight with undisguised desire, and she felt panic explode inside her. First his knee dropped to the bed and then his full weight was on her. Alarm bells started jangling in her head.

She wasn't ready for this! It was happening too fast and rapidly getting out of control. She wanted to slow down, to scream for him to stop. She’d depended on Luke for guidance. Instead, he was impatient and greedy. She tried to speak, but Luke sealed her lips with his hard, hungry mouth.

Susan brought her hands up to force some distance between their locked torsos, but he was far too heavy to shift. He seemed unconcerned about control as he rocked his body against hers in primitive demand. She didn't part her thighs to accommodate him. He was suddenly too hard, too heavy, too impatient, and she was in full fledged panic. Nausea rose in her throat.

Images of another night intruded as her memory flashed back to the time Shane had come home drunk, woke her from a sound sleep, and raped her. She'd nearly suffocated that night, too, gasping for breath, but unable to draw air into her lungs.

She tried to jerk her head out of Luke’s grasp, but he held her securely. When he finally lifted his mouth from hers, she managed a choked cry.

"I can't breathe!"

He immediately shifted his weight, and she took advantage of the move by shoving him aside, rolling from beneath him and across the bed. She quickly rose to her feet and stood panting, her eyes locked with his.

"You're scaring the hell out of me!" she accused,

It took a few seconds for the passionate haze to clear from his eyes. Then his features twisted into the most bitter expression she'd ever seen.

"Is it harder to suffer my attentions than you expected?" he snapped, his words as sharp as her rejection. "I'm not pretty-boy Shane, but you probably thought you could forget that, didn't you?"

Panting for breath, her chest heaving, she tried to explain. "It's not like that at all," she argued, throwing her hands out in entreaty. Her heart refused to stop racing. She tried to calm her breathing.  He thought she was comparing him to Shane, and she hated the thought. She didn't want him to think he didn't measure up to her expectations.

"You're just moving too fast."

"According to Shane," he snarled the name, "you like it that way. He got his kicks telling everybody how insatiable you were."

Susan felt as though he'd slapped her, the blow slamming against her with a staggering force. Had he believed all Shane's lies? The little fantasy world she'd created this evening was destroyed and reality chilled her to the bone. She actually felt the color drain from her face.

When she finally found her voice, it was heavy with bitterness. "So you thought by marrying me you'd get your land, a quality brood mare, and an insatiable bed partner?" The thought made her feel exposed and vulnerable. Her stomach threatened to revolt.

Pain laced her next words. "Well I'm sorry if you believed Shane, but all he told you was lies, bold-faced, deliberately-concocted lies. Our marriage was nothing but a sham. The closest we ever got to sex was the night he raped me!"

Utter silence followed her outburst, broken only by the sound of her ragged breathing.

Luke fought the haze of passion and tried to make sense of her words. If she was lying, she was a real pro, because her tone was scathing, her eyes were brilliant, and she'd gone deathly pale. There was a brittle tension in every line other body. He went still and tense as his mind battled with a barrage of conflicting thoughts.

"He raped you?"

"He scared me out of my mind, and for the first time since I met you, you just reminded me of him!" On that parting shot
,
she found strength in her legs to run out of the room, not bothering to shut the door or take time for more clothes.

She raced across the hall, down the stairs, along the first floor hallway and was struggling to unlock the garden door when Luke finally caught up with her. He wrapped both arms around her and stilled her progress.

She turned, ready to fight him off, but was swiftly swallowed in a gentle embrace, her head pressed against his chest as he spoke to her in a quieting tone.

"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you. Just stop trying to run from me."

Tired, shaken, and short of breath, she abruptly stopped struggling and collapsed against his solid strength. He pulled her closer and her arms seemed to involuntarily slide around his waist. She wasn't really afraid of him, just hurt, confused, and angry.

"Explain," he insisted roughly. "I can't make any sense of this unless you give me some details."

A shiver raced down her spine. She couldn't bear to tell him the truth about why she married Shane, but she realized her new marriage didn't stand a chance unless she described the physical aspects of the old one. Still the words seemed to get locked in her throat.

"Shane forced you to have sex against your will?"

The concept of a woman being raped by her husband wasn't that unusual, but it contradicted everything he'd ever believed about her and Shane's relationship. If they hadn't been in love, or at least lusted after each other, why had they married in the first place?

"Why?" he prompted.

"Because we only pretended to marry for love, and he promised our marriage would never be consummated. He thought he could seduce me into changing my mind, but he couldn't, so he decided to use force."

Pretended to marry for love? Nothing she said was making much sense, but Luke didn't question her honesty. He just tried to keep her talking. "What did you do?"

"When he finally passed out, I beat him with a ball bat," she confessed. "It sounds cowardly, but no more than attacking a woman while she's sleeping. I warned him if he ever touched me again, I'd kill him, and I made sure he knew I meant it.

An image of Shane a couple years ago, bruised and limping, flashed into Luke's mind. He'd claimed some thugs had attacked him outside a local bar.

"So why'd you stay with him?"

"Butch was living with us then, and I didn't want him to learn the truth."

 "Weren't you afraid of Shane after that?"

"I told him I'd kill him if he ever touched me again, and I guess he believed me. We had separate bedrooms, and he never stepped a foot in mine again. There were plenty of women willing to provide him with sex, so he just left me alone."

The feel of her warm, pliant body was clouding Luke's thinking. There was plenty they needed to sort out, but his top priority at the moment was their physical relationship.

His tone was low and carefully controlled when he finally spoke. "Let me get this clear. The only time you had sex with Shane was when he forced you? Was that the only time in the last three years?

Susan didn't speak, but nodded in the affirmative.

"Why didn't you tell me any of that before we got to the bedroom stage?"

She didn't lift her head, just mumbled the words against his skin. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to," she confessed. "You wouldn't have believed me anyway."

She didn't want to do any more explaining. It would only lead to questions she couldn't or wouldn't answer. She was determined to put the past behind her and build a new life with Luke. Within the circle of his arms, desire began to stir to life again. He was still totally naked. His flesh was smooth and warm with tight chest curls that brushed her cheek. He smelled of soap and Luke.

Tilting her head, she found his eyes in the shadowed darkness, and then placed her fingertips on his lips. "This is supposed to be our night. Please don't let him steal another second of it."

She saw an instant of resistance to her plea, and then she watched him mentally change gears and will away the bad thoughts. He let out a pent-up breath and his eyes grew smoky again.

"Have you had some good experiences with sex?"

Heat suffused her body, but she held his gaze and gave him the truth. "No."

It was a long minute before he spoke, and she could tell he was having difficulty controlling his reaction to her denial. His body was swelling against hers and the feel of him brought renewed trembling to her limbs.

"And you don't think I needed to know that?" He finally asked in a thick, graveled tone.

"I thought maybe you wouldn't notice."

That had him muttering obscenities. His hands flexed convulsively at her waist. His voice, when he spoke again, was razor sharp.

"I didn't notice, and I could have hurt you bad."

Susan was aware of that particular fact, but she hadn't allowed herself to think much about it until she'd been trapped under his big, virile body.

"It doesn't have to be so traumatic, does it?"

The total innocence of the query rattled him even more. "How the hell should I know?"

The answer didn't reassure her, but his next actions and words did. He took a deep breath and lowered his head to nudge hers. He buried his face in her hair and whispered in her ear, enunciating very clearly.

"We can go slower."

    He was willing to try again. Relief washed through her, and she gave him a fierce hug. She was embarrassed by her inexperience, but she didn't want him to give up on her or their marriage.

"You're sure?" she asked, easing some distance between them so that she could see him again.

Luke nodded his head. Maybe he was the worst kind of fool, but right now the ache in his loins was so painful and heavy that little else mattered.

"What if we can't get it right?" she asked in a barely audible tone.

Her question seemed to ease the tension a little. It teased a slow, incredibly sexy smile to his lips, making her heart flutter in renewed excitement.

"I guess we'll have to do like all the other married people do," he suggested solemnly.

A frown creased her forehead. "What's that?"

"Keep practicing until we get it right."

"Oh!" she gasped. He was sweeping her into his arms again and clutching her against his broad chest. She slid her arms around his neck and watched him in fascination as he retraced their steps to the bedroom.

This time when he laid her on the bed, he came down beside her. He leaned toward her with one arm propped above her head and the other across her stomach.

"We have a lot of talking to do, but it might help if we get past the physical hang-ups first. You enjoyed it when I touched you by the pool, didn’t you?”

Her eyes widened a little. She nodded her head, but kept watching him in wary fascination. She couldn't seem to stem the flow of blood to her cheeks, and the heat of his big body seared the rest of her. She desperately wanted to reach out and caress him, yet wasn't bold enough to do it. Luke wasn't the least bit shy about touching her. One hand began to play with her hair while the other hand slid over her ribs to her breasts.

He cupped first one and then the other, molding the soft mounds and teasing their tips until she moaned with pleasure. His gaze stayed tangled with hers for a long time. It dropped to where his fingers had roused her nipples to rigid points. She watched his eyes cloud with desire as they skimmed over his handiwork and then lifted to hers again.

"Would you like to have my mouth on your breasts?" he asked in a low husky query.

She closed her eyes to shield her vulnerability. She'd probably just die if he expected her to be able to verbally express everything she wanted and needed at the moment. She didn't even understand herself.

When she didn't immediately respond, he coaxed," Susy?" He used a nickname she hadn't heard for years. “Tell me what you want, so we don't make any more mistakes. Okay?"

"Okay." The word was little more than a sigh.

"Is it all right if I take off your gown and kiss your breasts?"

"Yes." Oh God, yes, she thought.

He slid one slim strap off her left shoulder, ran his fingers across her throat and then slid the other strap out of his way to peel the silk down to her waist.

Susan's heart was doing somersaults in her chest, and she began to wonder if his fast, furious approach might not be easier to withstand than his slow, easy one.

Chapter Six

Luke's head came down and she caught her breath in anticipation, but he didn't take her nipple into his mouth as he'd done before. Instead, his tongue alternately bathed each tight bud with hot moisture, leaving them to dry in the relative chill of the air before repeating the action again and again.

Her fingers and toes curled. A new, slow-burning tension invaded her body and it was difficult to lie still. When she could no longer stand-the teasing lap of his tongue, she grasped a handful of his hair and urged him closer.

He didn't disappoint her. While one hand molded her right breast, his mouth locked onto the left, nearly making her wild. Waves of delicious sensation turned into spasms that arrowed from her breasts to her womb. She shifted restlessly on the bed, amazed at her body's responses.

"Luke!" she cried. Suddenly, she was the impatient one and he wouldn’t be hurried.