Had to Be You: Bad Boys of Red Hook (15 page)

“See, he’s going to be fine. It’s okay, sweetheart, just breathe.” Slater sat on the chair beside the bed and pulled her onto his lap.

Rocki curled into him, clung to his neck, watered his shirt, and gulped for air. “I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose him too.”

“I know.” Slater wished he was one of those guys who carried handkerchiefs, but he wasn’t. He kissed the top of her head and waited for the storm to pass. It was going to be a while, so he just held her close, murmured soothing words, and rubbed her back, all under Jackson’s watchful gaze.

“I’m sorry.” She kissed the spot on his shirt that covered his scar and he knew she was apologizing for more than just watering his shirt, but he wasn’t sure how much more.

“Me too.”

She looked at him, her face all blotchy, her eyes even more red and swollen than they’d been before, and he couldn’t help but think she was the prettiest woman he’d ever seen. “So we’re good?”

His stomach dipped and something inside him took a tumble. “We’re good.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissed him, and damned if she didn’t fry his circuits again.

Jackson cleared his throat. “Does someone want to tell me who the hell you are and just what is going on between
you and my little sister?”

•   •   •

Rocki slid off Slater’s lap but didn’t drop his hand. She couldn’t. Slater was the only reason she could hold it together now. She didn’t know why, after all this time, she’d fallen apart, but she had. And just like with everything else, Slater knew what she needed, even after everything she’d said and hadn’t said, and was there for her.

She took a stuttered breath, wiped her face, and then looked at Jax. “Slater Shaw, Jackson Sullivan. Jax, Slater’s my . . . friend.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. I might have an extra hole in my head, and it hurts like the devil, but I’m not dumb.”

“Do you remember the accident?”

“Not really, but I hear the tree looks worse than I do.”

Slater gave her hand a squeeze, and pulled her closer. “Why don’t I go so Grace and Teddy can come in? I’m sure they’d like to see Jackson.”

“You’re leaving?” She didn’t want him to leave.

Jackson made a face she didn’t think had anything to do with his considerable headache. “That’d be great, thanks.”

Slater and Jackson looked as if they were having a weird telepathic conversation, the kind one needed a Y chromosome to follow.

Slater gave Jackson a curt nod. “No problem. It’s good to meet you, Jackson.”

Jax had obviously lost his manners along with the cerebral spinal fluid they’d drained from his cranium because he didn’t return the sentiment.

Slater didn’t miss a beat. “I’ll be right outside if you need me. Maybe I can create a diversion so that Grace and Teddy can both get past the nurses.”

If anyone could, it would be Slater. He could cause a diversion just by breathing. “Thanks. I’ll be out in a little bit.”

“Take your time. It’s all good.”

Rocki watched Slater leave and turned on her brother. “You could have said it was nice to meet him too, Jax.”

“I would have if that’s the way I felt. The guy was all over you.”

“He was not. He was being supportive.”

“Supportive, my ass. So tell me, Racquel, what’s the deal with you and Mr. Macho?”

“Racquel?” He only called her Racquel when he was pissed, and right now he had absolutely no reason to be pissed at her. Rocki couldn’t believe him. “You almost kill yourself and you’re asking me about Slater?”

“Damn straight I am. I talked to you last week—at least I think it was last week—and you never mentioned you were seeing anyone.”

“It was last week, and obviously a lot has changed. God, Jax.” She grabbed his hand—the same hand she’d been holding for days. “I’ve spent the last two days expecting you to die. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry. But if it makes you feel any better, it wasn’t a picnic on my end either. You would not believe the scary, crazy dreams I’ve had. It was one long nightmare. I just didn’t know I was dreaming. Even after I woke up, I didn’t know. I had to ask the nurses.”

He tried to sit and she pushed him back down. “You can’t lift your head.”

“So does your boyfriend allow you to hug your brother?”

“It’s not Slater you have to worry about—it’s the nurses. I’ll hug you, but don’t move that thick skull of yours, okay?” She reached over Jax, and gave him a hug. Drinking in the scent of her brother mixed with hospital soap.

Jax’s arms came around her and squeezed. “I love you, Rocki. I’m really sorry I scared you.”

“You did. You’re all the family I have left.”

“That’s not true. You’ll always have Grace and Teddy.”

The tears started coming again. “I know, and believe me, they’ve been great. But please, don’t you ever scare me like that again.”

“It’s not in the plans, but it looks as if you’ve been doing okay. So tell me what’s going on between you and curly locks.”

Rocki pulled away and looked at her brother. “It’s complicated.”

The door opened and Grace and Teddy stepped in.

“There’s nothing complicated about what I saw in that man’s eyes. I’ve just never seen that look aimed at my little sister before. I don’t like it.”

“Jackson Finneus Sullivan.” Grace’s scolding tone brought a smile to Rocki’s face. “That’s quite enough.” Grace marched herself right up to the bed, leaned over Jax, brushed the hair off his forehead, and kissed his cheek. “I always knew you’d come back to us. Thank the good Lord.”

“I’m sorry I worried you, Grace.”

“I’ve worried about you both since the day you were born; it’s a hard habit to break.” Grace clucked her tongue and straightened Jax’s covers. “Still, it doesn’t give you leave to behave badly. Slater has been a godsend to Racquel. He not only dropped everything and drove her here, but he’s sat with her at your bedside for two days. He never left her side.”

“I can imagine.”

“Hush. You should be thanking that young man for taking such good care of your sister.”

“I don’t like the way he looks at her.”

“I think it’s romantic.”

Rocki blew the hair out of her eyes. “Would both of you stop talking about me like I’m not even here?”

Jackson went on as if Rocki had never opened her mouth. “I’m out for two days and when I come to, I see some strange dude has set his sights on my little sister. What do we know about this guy, anyway?”

Teddy patted Jackson’s leg. “I know his father. Slater was regular navy and served for eight years. When he got out, he went to some high-falutin’ computer school in Seattle and got his master’s degree in computer science. He works in cyber security. The young man has been offered a contract with OPEC. He’s selling them some kind of security program he designed and he also has an offer from Microsoft.”

Rocki felt as if she were watching a tennis match. “Teddy, how do you know that?”

Teddy shrugged. “I asked him. You don’t think I’m going to let you get involved with someone unless I check him out first, do you?” He turned back to Jackson. “If anything, Slater downplayed his experience. Did you know he was a chief warrant officer, fourth class? That young man has to be exceptional to achieve that rank in only eight years.”

Rocki didn’t know any of this. “He told you that?”

Teddy shook his head. “Of course not. I made a few phone calls.”

Rocki couldn’t believe it. “How could you do that?”

“I did nothing that any good parent wouldn’t do.”

“Jackson.” Grace gave Rocki her trademark keep-your-mouth-shut pat. “Slater’s a good man. And he looks at Racquel like she’s the light of his life. A woman can’t ask for any more than that.”

Rocki’s eyes almost jumped out of their sockets. “He what? No, Slater and I . . . It’s not serious.”

Both Teddy’s and Grace’s eyebrows rose in unison.

“It’s complicated. And the timing is all wrong. Slater is leaving for Bahrain after the first of the year.”

Teddy rocked back on his heels. “He was sure to tell me that he had a lot of options if he chose to stay on the East Coast.”

Rocki couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “What did you do, Teddy? Interrogate him?”

Teddy’s gaze didn’t stray from Jackson. “Slater’s a nice young man, and he’s got a hell of a backbone. He’s not going to buckle under when Racquel starts getting pushy.”

“I’m not pushy!”

All three heads turned to stare at her. Jackson groaned. Good, he deserved it. “Rocki, I love you but you’re the pushiest broad I’ve ever known, and the only reason I’m telling you this now is because I’m in a hospital bed and you wouldn’t dare hit me with Grace and Teddy here.”

Rocki put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “I can’t believe that Jax just came out of a coma and all the three of you can talk about is me and Slater Shaw. What’s wrong with this picture? Shouldn’t you be fawning over Jackson?”

Grace smiled at her and then Jackson. “You’re probably right, but unfortunately, either of you showing up with a member of the opposite sex in tow is more unexpected than Jackson running into a tree and ending up in a coma.”

Teddy let out a laugh and threw his arm around Grace. “It’s a sad commentary on the state of their love lives, but the truth all the same. You have an amazing way of pointing out the obvious to the oblivious.”

Slater stood outside the hospital entrance and looked to the sixth floor wondering how long Rocki was going to be in her brother’s room. “Pop. It sounds as if Jackson’s going to be fine as long as he stays still for a while longer. He and Rocki seem to have the same problem when it comes to following directions.”

Pete laughed. “She’s one hardheaded woman, but then I’ve always considered that just part of her charm. Life with Rocki will never be boring.”

“Jackson’s not charming any of the nurses—that’s for damn sure. Rocki’s already threatened to duct tape his head to the bed if he gives her any more trouble.”

“Is there a problem?”

“No, but until they remove the tube, he has to keep still. All I can say is it’s a good thing they’re talking about taking it out later today.”

“Thank God for that. So when do you think you and Rocki will come home?”

“I can come home at any time. As for Rocki, I’m not sure. I guess that depends on her.”

“You haven’t talked about it?”

“When were we supposed to do that? We didn’t find out Jackson was out of the coma until this morning and we had no idea what kind of shape he was in until we saw him.”

“What’s he like?”

Slater didn’t think he’d make any points with his dad if he told him that Jackson seemed like an overprotective egomaniac. “He and Rocki look a lot alike, but other than that, I don’t know. I didn’t stay any longer than it took to meet the guy and make sure Rocki was okay. I wanted to let Grace and Teddy get in to see him.”

“Why don’t you and Rocki bring Jackson home with you? I’m sure she’d love to have her brother around to make sure he’s healing, and with the holidays coming up, it would be good for Rocki to have her whole family with her. Besides, everyone here is curious about him.”

“I can imagine. I’ll mention it to her, but don’t get your hopes up.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because Rocki’s kept her life up here hidden from everyone in Red Hook for a reason. She’s weird about the whole money thing.”

“Money thing?”

“Come on, Pop. You know as well as I do that she kept a tight lid on the fact that she’s a trust fund baby.”

“You can’t blame the girl for wanting to make her own way in the world.”

“Rocki thinks that if it becomes common knowledge that she’s a walking, talking Brink’s truck, everyone will treat her differently.”

“What do you think?”

“I think she’s spent the last three years lying to everyone. I don’t know, maybe she had valid reasons, but I don’t give a shit how much money she has or doesn’t have—neither will any of her real friends. But then you’ve known Rocki’s little secret all along, haven’t you?”

“Her story had more holes in it than Jackson’s head, so I may have done a little checking.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything to her?”

“Because it doesn’t matter to me. It matters to her though, and she has to learn to trust people enough to make herself vulnerable. That’s something all you kids have a hard time doing. Maybe now that you know, you can show her that everything doesn’t have to change, and the life she’s made for herself here doesn’t need to come to an end.”

“I don’t like being made a fool of.”

“No one does, but the thing is, son, this is not about you. It’s about Rocki. You didn’t give her a hard time about it, did you?”

Slater tried to decide just how much to tell his father.

“Shit, son.”

He must have waited too long to answer.

“I can’t believe even you would be stupid enough to give her grief with everything else the girl has going on. Did you at least wait to see if Jackson was going to be okay?”

“A heads-up would have been nice, Pop. What the hell did you expect?”

“I expected you to use the brain God gave you. Rocki’s a woman and all women have their secrets. They’re entitled. So what happened?”

“Before or after she slugged me?”

“After.”

“We kissed and made up.” At least he hoped they had. “I think. We were interrupted.”

Pop let out a shotgun laugh. “I suggest you make sure the next time you get the girl alone.”

“So that’s your angle then? You’re trying to fix us up?”

“It looked to me like you were already on the chase, son. I was just nice enough to help you out. If Rocki wasn’t interested, you wouldn’t have gotten past first base.”

“I guess you’re right. I’d better get back up to ICU.” Which was the last thing he wanted to do. He should be getting used to being there by now, but he wasn’t. He was just getting better at hiding his reaction.

“You make it sound as if you’re headed to the gallows.”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t improving as much as he’d thought, but then it could be just Pop. Pop always had a way of knowing things there was no way in hell he could possibly know.

“Are you okay, son?”

“I’m fine. I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

“That could be a good thing or a bad thing. Which is it?”

“A little bit of both. I’ll handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

No, but what the hell could he say? “I’m fine.”

“You know where I am if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Pop. I’ll talk to you soon.” He ended the call, took a last breath of fresh air, girded his loins, and headed back to ICU.

He stopped at the nurses’ station on his way to the waiting room. “Racquel hasn’t come out of Jackson’s room yet, has she?”

The nurse who had been so frantic earlier actually smiled at him. “No, not yet. Last we checked she and the Watkinses were still in with him. Jackson must be listening to your wife; he hasn’t set off any monitors lately.”

It was all he could do not to laugh at the wife comment, though he didn’t correct her. Maybe that’s why they’d let him into Jackson’s room in the first place. “Good to know. So how long will Jackson be here?”

“Barring complications, they usually release patients like Jackson about twenty-four hours after removing the tube. If there aren’t any setbacks, he should be home in the next day or two.”

“That’s good news, thank you.” With any luck, he and Rocki would be on their way home before the weekend.

The nurse’s face broke into a smile and she leaned toward him. “I think your wife is looking for you.”

Slater turned, took one look at Rocki, and felt something shift inside him. The ball of stress that had been lodged in his throat since he’d gotten off the elevator seemed to unravel when the corners of her mouth turned up into one of her sexy smiles. He walked toward her and she slid right into his arms, wrapped hers around his waist, and went up on her toes for a kiss.

She ended the kiss but didn’t let him go. “Jackson’s impossible but he’s my big brother so that shouldn’t come as a complete shock.”

“It’s not.”

She wrinkled her nose like she did whenever he teased her. It only made him want to kiss it. God, he was beginning to really worry about himself.

“I was expecting Jackson to be better but not that much better. I was so shocked and relieved and well . . . I don’t know what happened. I’m sorry for losing it in there.”

“You’re doing okay?”

She held him tighter and rested her head on his chest. “I am now.” She took a step back and grabbed his hand. Hers were a little clammy. “Do you want to get out of here?”

She had no idea how much. “Sure. But what about your brother?”

She smiled a smile that made him wonder if she wasn’t hiding a pair of horns under that spiked hair or was somehow distantly related to the Wicked Witch. “Grace and Teddy have decided to take the first shift. We’ve been released for good behavior.”

Getting out of here with Rocki sounded like heaven. “Okay, I’m all yours.”

•   •   •

Rocki had taken one look at Slater talking to the flirty nurses and couldn’t believe her sense of relief—not that the sight of him flirting was a good thing, but after everything that had happened in the last two days, it didn’t even cause a blip on her radar.

She’d been relieved because a big part of her had expected Slater to take off the moment they’d heard Jax was going to be fine. She had visions of having to steal Grace and Teddy’s car and chase him. She wouldn’t have blamed him if he had left. She hadn’t meant to, but she had a strong suspicion that she’d hurt him.

“So, you’re all mine?” She didn’t bother hiding her smile when she threw his words back in his face—maybe he needed to hear them.

Slater’s brows went up, and not in a sexy
are-you-in-the-mood?
kind of way. He didn’t look happy that she’d picked up on that. It looked as if he’d pulled on a set of armor since leaving Jax’s hospital room.

“It’s a figure of speech.”

Not many people would, but she took his aloofness as a good sign, and grabbed his hand. “Come on. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

“You are?” The poor boy looked completely confused. She supposed it was a good thing. At least she wasn’t alone.

“It’s amazing what finding out my brother’s going to be okay does for my appetite.”

“You want to go out to breakfast?”

“No.” She pressed the
DOWN
button on the elevator. “I want to go home. There’s plenty of food there and everything else I have a taste for.”

“Okay.” He strung the word out, making it sound more like a question.

Rocki didn’t want to show her hand so she ignored it. It was more fun to leave him wondering. She pulled him into the elevator and took great interest in watching the numbers above the doors.

Slater stepped away from her and leaned against the back wall. “I called Pop and told him the good news.”

“I should have thought to do that.” She turned to face him. “Is everything okay at home?”

“Everything is fine.” His face broke out into a grin that she was sure had nothing to do with her. “Except Bree found Pop’s cigar stash. Nicki has been working on everyone trying to talk them into buying her a bike for Christmas. And Pop was wondering when we’d be returning. He invited Jackson for the holidays. It sounds as if everyone would like to meet him.”

Jackson and the crew of the Crow’s Nest? She wasn’t sure she could handle that. “You must not have mentioned what an ass he can be. After Jackson’s behavior earlier, it makes me wonder why you didn’t. I am sorry about that.”

The doors opened and all she could think of was getting the heck out of there.

Slater followed her. “Jackson cares about you and I think you shocked him. Most guys don’t know how to handle tears. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is to me. I think he was more shocked to see me with you than he was that I lost it. He’s never seen me with anyone before and he didn’t take it well. It took both Grace and Teddy to set him straight.”

She thought Slater would say something but he just shrugged as if he didn’t care. And maybe he didn’t. He didn’t even reach for her. He just stuffed his hands in his pockets, and walked to the Jeep.

Okay, so that was a bit of a letdown. When she ran out of Jackson’s room, she thought of nothing but the feelings winging around her heart and mind. She hadn’t known what to do about them, and wondered if Slater felt the same. All she could think of was finding him. All she could think of was being with him.

Once the worry and fear about Jackson’s condition was over. Once she knew Jackson would be fine, she’d expected her feelings for Slater to dissipate. She hadn’t expected her need for Slater to still be there, and she certainly never expected it to grow stronger. Shit.

Slater opened the door to the Jeep, and when she got in she had half a mind to bang her head against the dashboard. Falling for a man who was leaving the country in a matter of weeks was so not what she’d planned. Actually, she hadn’t planned to ever fall for anyone. Let’s face it, she didn’t do well with loss, so she thought the best way to avoid it entirely was just to keep everyone at a comfortable distance and she’d done exactly that for so long, she didn’t know how not to.

But then Slater walked into the bar, took one look at her, and somehow slipped past her every defense.

She just wished she knew what the hell to do now.

Slater pulled out of the parking lot. “Did you have a good visit with your brother?”

“Good? I guess so, if you consider an inquisition good. At least there seems to be nothing wrong with
his mind—well, nothing new anyway. You’d think he’d be happy to be alive, but instead he was more interested in what was going on between you and me.”

“He’s protective.”

“Teddy and Grace sang your praises though. They seem to have formed a Slater Shaw Fan Club.”

Her statement was met with silence. She decided not to fight it; Rome wasn’t built in a day. She just didn’t like the feeling that he was slipping away from her, but there wasn’t much she could do about it while he drove. They’d be back at the house soon enough. Not that she knew what she could do other than jump him. “Teddy mentioned that you might not go to Bahrain.”

He looked at her and then returned his attention to the road. “It’s a possibility.”

“Why does he know this and I don’t?”

Slater pulled into the drive and headed up the mountain. “You never asked.” He parked in front of the garage and got out without saying a word. He just shook his head when she let them into the house through the side door. He had a thing for locking doors and for feeding her, and she wasn’t sure why, but it bothered him to no end that, until now at least, neither interested her.

It should make his day that she was hungry, and not just for him.

She kicked off her shoes, dropped her bag, headed toward the refrigerator, and did an inventory. “It’s not breakfasty but there’s lobster salad. Did you eat this morning?”

“No, but don’t tell Grace. She tried to feed me but I wasn’t hungry, so I lied and told her I’d already eaten.”

“You lied?” She spun around to look at him.

His face took on that carved-in-stone quality that made her want to wipe it right off it. “You heard me.”

“Yeah, but you’re all pissed off at me for supposedly lying—which I didn’t even do—but it’s okay for you to lie to Grace?”

“I was trying not to hurt her feelings. It was a little white lie.”

She just raised an eyebrow.