Authors: Mark Timlin
I exchanged my empty vodka glass for a full one of champagne, wedged myself in a quiet corner, parked the glass on a ledge, lit a cigarette and gave the party my full attention. By then the room was about a quarter full. The air-conditioning was coping and after the heat outside the temperature was a pleasant seventy or so. A couple of guys had set up a mobile sound system in one corner and were playing a selection of forties and fifties bop and stroll records at a volume that got the music across without being intrusive. It was that kind of function.
Barrington and Fiona were holding court at a table that had been set up at the main door and was piled high with copies of the magazine. Fiona had changed into an even more minute mini dress, if that was possible. This one was crimson red and slashed dramatically to the navel. I wondered if Brunel had a copyright on her underwear. It was an enticing thought.
People were moving around as if dancing a complicated gavotte. Little groups formed and dissolved in front of my eyes; the champagne was making my head sweat. I listened a lot and said little. A few people gave me the once-over, a couple made noncommittal comments. I spoke when I was spoken to, but didn't make much of an effort. It wasn't difficult. The state of some of the characters I clocked could curdle your Piña Colada, and all they talked about was money, money, money.
Like I said, I listened a lot and it didn't take me long to work out the pecking order in the magazine publishing world. It appeared to be mostly run by women, and they soon separated into three distinct types. At the bottom were the younger women. Slabs of blonde hair, big bins, small breasts, mini skirts and dark tights. The middle echelon were dumpy Sloanes with voices that could rupture an eardrum at forty paces. They had the monopoly on bad legs, silk sweeps from Hermès, and Liberty print blouses so muddy I was looking for bullfrogs in their cleavages. And at the top were tall, skinny women with hair like glass fibre, power suits with shoulder pads and the kind of predatory look that made you think that if they gave you a blow job you might not get your dick back at the end of it. Their escorts were an eclectic mixture of Hooray Henrys, tattooed love boys and suburban social workers in Kicker boots. Nice people, one and all. They made me want to puke my bean sprout and sesame salad.
After about an hour of moving around and earwigging I thought it was about time I found Catherine again. I made for the main bar, but got hung up outside, where a giggle of hairdressers had congregated. They were discussing scissors and gel and perm lotion and other important stuff. They were checking out hair styles and looking for thin patches in the passing bouffants. Suddenly a little spat seemed to flare up and one particular peacock, a dream in black satin and platform soles, broke away from the pack and headed towards me in an unsteady fashion. He gripped my arm with a surprisingly strong fist and gave me the full benefit of his baby blues. âFancy a line, sweet?'
I removed his hand and smoothed down the sleeve of my jacket. âA line of what?' I asked innocently.
He giggled and rubbed his face, smudging his eyeliner. âDon't kid a kidder,' he whispered. âLet's make a break for the Gents'.'
âWhat about your pals?'
He sniffed as if it hadn't been just cocaine that had got up his nose. âThose bitches,' he said, âcan kiss my arse for a hit on my drugs. I'd rather share with a real man.'
I felt complimented. âSorry,' I said. âNot right now. I'm looking for the young lady I came with.'
âOh,' he said, concealing a tiny burp with the back of his hand. âDo tell, who could that possibly be?'
âCatherine Pike.'
I thought he was going to have a fit. He danced from one foot to the other; then, all hard feelings forgotten, he dragged his chums over and after getting my name from me and making introductions all round, explained my situation to them.
âSo you're the latest,' said a tall boy with an Egyptian look and the unlikely name of Ivan. âI must say she's going severely down market.'
âShe always did like a bit of rough,' said my original acquaintance, whose name was Leee, with three vowels. He saw the look on my face. âNow don't be offended. We're only teasing and, speaking for myself, just a teensy weensy bit jealous. We've all been remarking on you since we came in, and dying for you to join us, and now we find you're spoken for. And with Catherine of all people, and she never even told me.'
âWhy should she?' I asked.
âWho do you think is responsible for making the lovely Cathy's coiffure the talk of the place?' He pouted. âEvery hair cries “Leee”. I'm her personal stylist. She doesn't touch a shampoo bottle without first consulting me. And everybody knows what an intimate relationship a girl has with her hairdresser. So I insist you tell me everything about yourself, Nicholas. I spy an empty table over there, and I'm gasping for a Cuba Libra. Be a dear and get me one from the bar, and we can have a lovely chat.'
We left the other hairdressers bitching about being excluded, and while Leee captured the table, I went to the bar and ordered a large rum and Coca-Cola and a vodka for myself. As I expected, Catherine was there, surrounded by a small fan club. She seemed to be in good hands so I left her to it. Elizabeth was nowhere to be seen.
When the drinks arrived I carried them back to the table and sat next to Leee. He tasted his drink and lit one of my cigarettes.
âRight, Nicholas dear,' he said. âTell me all.'
I decided to stick to the story I'd told Fiona. âThere's not much to tell,' I said. âI'm doing some work on Sir Robert's estate. Nothing special. Just collating a few papers. I'm staying at Curzon Street until I finish, and Miss Pike invited me to dinner and then on here. It's not very interesting, I'm afraid.' I smiled, and the smile was full of modesty and sincerity. I practise it every morning in the mirror when I'm shaving.
âCatherine's boy friends are always interesting,' said Leee. âSuch a fascinating assortment of types.'
âRough trade, I think you said.'
âOh, Nicholas, I told you I was only teasing, but I could tell you some tales.'
âI'll just bet you could.'
âAnd perhaps I will.' He grinned, and I knew he would spill the beans in his own time.
âHow long have you known her?' I asked.
âI met her the first day she was in London. She came in for a shampoo and set.' He grinned again. âI styled her hair. We got talking. We've been talking ever since. I do her hair once or twice a week. She can afford it. Rich people talk to their hairdressers. I read between the lines. I listen between the words.' He tapped his forehead. âYou don't have to be very suss to get the message.'
âSo tell me about her other men.'
He took a long swallow of his drink, and spat ice back into the glass. âI swear you're jealous, Nicholas,' he said.
âI'm just an employee of the family. I don't sleep with her. Why should I be jealous?' But I believe I was, just a bit.
âBut you'd like to,' said Leee. âI know the symptoms. And I bet she's already let you know she's available.'
I shrugged and he cracked up.
âBeware, my dear,' he said. âIf Catherine was a narcotic, she'd be Class A under the Dangerous Drugs Act. Men tend to OD on her. I've seen them wandering, two steps behind her, glassy-eyed and confused. A little of her can go a long way, and she rarely gives only a little at a time, But I warn you, she tends to get bored and withhold privileges, so step carefully or it could end in tears.'
âI'll survive.'
âYou may or you may not, we shall see. There have been a lot who haven't.'
âIs that right?'
âNicholas, you're sounding less and less like, what was it? A collator, and more like, well, I'm not sure what.'
I'd have to watch that. âI'm just interested,' I said. âSo tell me.'
âVery well, if you insist. There have been plenty. When I met her she knew no one in London. We came to be good friends. I took her round the hotspots.' He laughed out loud at the word. âWe did have some fun. All sorts of fun. We painted the town blood red, my dear Nicholas. The hets swarmed around her like the proverbial bees at the honey pot, and what a sweet little pot she's got, or so I've been told.' He flashed his eyes at me through the curls that tumbled around his forehead. âOf course I don't know firsthand, but I did get some of her leftovers.'
I glanced up and saw Catherine at the entrance to the bar looking around the room as if searching for someone, and I guessed it might be me.
âListen,' I said. âI'd like to talk some more sometime. Can I have your phone number?'
âYou rascal, you.'
âStrictly business,' I assured him.
âI bet you say that to all the boys.'
I gave him a sour look and he gave me his telephone number on the back of a card with the name of the salon where he worked on the front. âCall me any time,' he said.
I told him that I would, and excused myself and went to see Catherine. I guessed she'd soaked up another half-bottle of gin since I'd last seen her, but she seemed pretty fit under the circumstances. âI see you've met Leee,' she said.
âI could hardly miss him.'
âWatch him, Nick, you're just his type.'
âThanks, I've already gathered that.'
She giggled and put her hand in front of her mouth to stifle it. âYou are scoring tonight, aren't you? That little tart Fiona what's-her-name, Leee, and I'm left all alone to fend for myself.'
âYou seem to be doing all right.'
âI always do. Now I must go to the loo. Will you excuse me?'
âOf course.' I said, and off she went.
I lassoed a waiter and helped myself to another sherbet. I perched on the corner of a handy sofa and thought about all the bits of stories I'd heard that night. I squinted at my watch. It was midnight. Various Cinderellas were shedding their glass slippers and heading off to pastures new but there were still new people arriving and the party showed no signs of slowing down.
Suddenly the crowd in front of me parted and Fiona tumbled through. âBudge up, Nick, and let me sit down, for Christ's sake, my bloody feet are killing me.'
I concurred with her request and she hitched herself up on the sofa next to me and eased her shoes off. âThat feels good.' She stretched her toes. âHold on, I'll be right back.' She walked off barefooted and snagged two glasses of champagne from a waiter, then padded back and rejoined me on the sofa. I accepted one of the drinks from her.
âCheers,' she said and knocked back a mouthful. âBy fuck, I'm grafting tonight, thank God the other girl's turned up and I can take a break.'
âWhat are you doing?' I asked.
âJust the usual. Pushing the dumb product on people who only want to get pissed for free. Being nice to silly cunts who only want to look down the front of my dress, letting silly cunts have their picture taken with me, and fighting off their wandering hands.'
âNot interested, huh?'
âFuck 'em. Like I told you, I'm famous â well, nearly. But I'm a pro now, and I mean pro model.'
âGood,' I said. âAnother rugged individualist, I like that.'
âSo do I,' she said. âIt feels so good. Got any fags?'
I fished out a Silk Cut for each of us and she lit them with a Zippo lighter she rescued from the depths of her bag. The lighter was brass and was decorated with an SAS regimental badge in coloured enamel.
âIs he your mate?' she asked.
âWho?'
âLeee, hairdresser to the stars. You two looked pretty tight.'
âNo,' I replied.
âYou're not gay, are you?'
I knew the colour of the shirt had been a mistake. âDo I look gay?'
âWhat does gay look like?' she shot back. âYou'd be amazed. Or would you?'
âProbably,' I said. âAnd no, I'm not gay. I just like talking to hairdressers.'
She looked me straight in the eye and said, âYou're a funny cunt, Nick, but I quite like you. Do you fancy getting weird?'
âHow weird?'
âVery weird.'
âWith what?'
âNepaleses temple balls.'
I tapped the badge on the lighter. âHusband?'
âNo, dad and brother,'
âJesus Christ.'
âWell, do you?' she asked again.
âNothing I'd like more.'
âCome on then.'
âI don't think so.'
âWhy not?'
âWe might have to get married.'
âI wouldn't mind,' she said. âOn a temporary basis, that is.'
âBut would you still respect me in the morning?' I asked.
She giggled. âWant to find out?'
âLove to, but I think I'd better stay on the straight and narrow tonight. I'm out with the bosses. You know what I mean.' I gave her one of those sincere and modest smiles I'd been practising.
âI do, but it was worth a try, wasn't it?'
âIt was worth more than that.'
âDo you want my number?' she asked, and went on, â'course I might not fancy you another night?'
âWant to find out?' I asked, and she grinned and put the lighter back into her bag and felt around inside until she came up with another pasteboard card for my rapidly expanding collection.
âThis is my agent,' she said. âRing there and leave a number I can get you on. They'll give it to me. If I haven't changed my mind, I'll be in touch. Meanwhile, here's something to be going on with.' She leant over and kissed me on the lips. Her slippery little tongue forced its way into my mouth and touched my teeth. She smelt of White Linen and hot woman, mixed. I reached out for her but she was gone. âEat your heart out,' she said, winked, picked up her shoes and made for the ladies' room.
I did just that for a minute. I ate my heart out, then picked myself up and brushed myself down and made for the bar.