Gumshoe Gorilla (27 page)

"A pleasure as always, Lucien."

"The pleasure is mine, Lady Rose. Do see us again, soon."

Rose walked out and I scrambled to my feet to follow. When we were out in the hall I pressed her for some answers.

"OK. What did all that stuff mean? Who is this Elias guy, and what was all that about 'the Master's Revels?'".

She smiled, and I grimaced in response. Her teeth were stained red.

"What?" she said, then realized what I was staring at. She ran her tongue over her teeth, and smiled again, pearly white. "Better?"

"Yeah. Sorry to be..."

"Squeamish?"

"Yeah. So what about Elias?"

"Elias is what we call a 'hound'. He's in the service of a master vampire, who for one reason or another doesn't come out in public. Elias goes out to the clubs for him, and finds suitable guests for the master's private parties. If what Lucien said is correct, then your friends managed to convince Elias that they were worthy of an invitation. I won't speculate on their methods of persuasion."

"Never mind, I can probably guess. So who is Elias working for?"

"Alas, that I don't know. The whole point of having a hound is to protect the master vampire's identity. The master is probably some sort of celebrity, or business man who needs to keep his reputation clean. The president of Coca-Cola or some such. Anyway, only the people who go to the parties get to see him, and they're sworn to secrecy."

"And you haven't been to one of his parties?"

"Regretfully, no. I've been to other private revels, but I don't seem to be quite the sort of guest that Elias has been instructed to acquire. Judging by the people that I've seen him interviewing, I would guess that his master -- or mistress-- has a taste for young blond men."

"That would explain the interest in Daniel. So where can I find Elias?"

She shrugged.

"I haven't seen him here tonight. But I suppose that we could have a look through the club for him. Think your weak digestive system can handle it?"

I agreed, before my imagination could get too creative with the possibilities.

It took us forever to wind our way through all the dimly lit rooms and dark corners of that maze, but afterwards I could say with some confidence, "Now, I've seen it all."

Except for Elias, that is. He was nowhere to be found.

Eventually, we were forced to give up the search for him. I looked at my watch. It was four-thirty in the morning.

"Ugh," I groaned. "I have got to leave. I need to get at least a little sleep before I go to work."

I took off the rose pin and handed it back to her, but she shook her head.

"Keep it. As a souvenir of our night together."

"Oh. OK."

I put it in my pocket.

"Well, I really appreciate your help tonight," I said. "If there's anything I can do to say thanks. Um, anything, that doesn't involve razors, that is..."

She put a finger to my lips.

"Don't worry about it. Having a cute guy like you in my herd boosts my standing in this place. And besides, I was happy to repay an old debt."

I looked her over again. But I still had no idea who she was.

"Will you at least tell me where we met before?" I asked.

"Oh, we haven't."

"Then where am I supposed to know you from?"

"You don't," she said. "But I know you. Or rather, I know what you did, back when you were with the First Precinct. And I know what it cost you."

I tried not to register my surprise, and failed. Not many people know the details of
that
particular story.

"That incident never made the newsites," I said. "At least not my involvement in it."

"No," she said. "But some of us on the force know anyway. And we appreciate it."

"You're a cop?" I couldn't keep the shock out of my voice.

She smiled and kissed me softly on the forehead.

"Take care of yourself, Drew Parker. And do try to stay away from windmills."

And then she turned and walked back into the maze.

It took me a few minutes to find my way back to the front entrance, but eventually I managed it. I pushed my way past the curtain and emerged into the room with the cash register and the glass box.

Oh yeah, the box. I took another look in it. The kitten was still moving, covered with centipedes, its paws batting ineffectually at the air. I forced myself to stop looking at it and turn away.

I made it all of three steps towards the door.

Don't you hate it when you know that you're about to do something stupid?

I turned back and studied the room. Trying to figure out how I could pull this off without getting my skull beaten in. The fat guy behind the register watched me think. I shrugged and said,

"There's someone's number I want to get before I go."

I stepped through the curtain and back into the maze. I found a quiet spot and started counting. When I got to ninety, I burst back through the curtain and started screaming.

"OH MY GOD, I THINK THEY'VE HIT AN ARTERY!"

That got the fat guy's attention real fast.

"What? Who? What are you talking about?"

"THIS WOMAN! IN THE ROOM WITH ALL THE DEAD PLANTS! SHE'S GUSHING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! THREE GUYS ARE TRYING TO STOP IT, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING!"

"Jesus!"

He grabbed a first aid kit from under the counter and ran into the maze as fast as his bulk would allow. I followed him for a few steps, then let him outdistance me.

I went back to the counter. I couldn't figure out how to open the box, so I broke the glass top with the blunt end of my Swiss army knife. I took the kitten out. It was so tiny that it fit in one hand. It's eyes hadn't opened yet, and it only had a thin covering of fur. It was almost certainly going to die, no matter what I did. I held the pitiful thing under my jacket while I walked out the door, then quickly crossed the parking lot and jogged down the street towards my car. I didn't want to be around when the cashier got on the radio and told the spike twins what I'd just done.

I don't remember setting the alarm when I staggered in to bed at three in the morning. But it didn't matter, since Cassandra already had my schedule. She woke me up at five-thirty sharp with a perky little medley of bells and chimes and one of her more inscrutable poems.

I groaned and barked out a poem in response.

The chimes stopped.

Somehow, I convinced my tired body to get out of bed. It was not an easy sell. My legs felt like ground hamburger meat, my head like a lead weight, and the only thing that I could promise either of them was another day of running up and down stairs. Oh, and the chance to tell Skye that her boyfriend had spent last night having group sex with a fake blond in a ten thousand dollar dress.

Ugh. I decided to make the pitch to my stomach instead.

"Come on, tummy. You remember how good the food was on set? Hot tea, and pastries, and that lunch... oh, yeah. You know you want to go back."

By a narrow margin, my digestive tract managed to out vote the rest of my anatomy and get my body moving towards the bathroom.

A shower, a banana, and a cup of wintergreen tea later, I was beginning to feel vaguely human. I dug around in my collection of crystals and managed to find a piece of translucent quartz. I put it in my charm pouch, hoping it would bring some much needed clarity to my groggy head. And then I stepped outside, and took my first breath of the morning air. The sky was pink with the impending sunrise, and the birds were greeting it with song.

"Good morning," I whispered, letting my words float away on the breeze. "And thank you for another day."

I drove into work with the windows down and the sunroof open, trying to let myself enjoy the morning without worrying about the day to come. On the way, I stopped in at the office to pick up some more bugs. I found Drew at his desk, looking like he hadn't slept a wink. He was holding something wrapped up in a towel that he was feeding with an eye dropper.

He glanced up as I walked in.

"Oh, hey," he said, looking a little embarrassed.

I walked over to see what he was holding. It was a kitten, only a week or two old, and really thin. Frankly, I've seen road kill that looked healthier.

"Drew, where in the seven secret names of the Goddess did you find that thing?"

He shrugged.

"It was in a glass box at a vampire sex club," he said. As if that explained anything.

I pulled back the towel to get a better look at it. Well, at least the little fella had an appetite. I watched as he licked greedily from Drew's eye dropper. And then I wondered what Drew was feeding him.

"Uh... Drew? You're not feeding it that stuff from our refrigerator, are you?"

Drew shot me a tired look.

"You mean the non-dairy creamer? No, I figured that would be a bad idea, Jen."

"OK. Just checking. ' Cause you're not exactly... well, an animal person, Drew. No offense."

"None taken. I knew that we didn't have any real milk around the office, so I stopped by the diner on 14th street and grabbed a handful of those little plastic containers of half and half."

I looked at him in shock.

"What?" he said. "Kittens are supposed to like cream? Right?"

Drew is a reasonably bright guy, but he has some serious gaps in his education.

"Drew, that stuff is made from
cow's
milk. You can't feed it to a kitten that age. It'll make his immune system go all haywire."

Drew put down the eye dropper.