Guilty Bastard (Grim Bastards MC #3) (6 page)

A
fter pulling
the cinnamon apple pie out of the oven, my eyes fill with tears. It’s been happening all damn day, ever since I talked to Trix. This will be the last meal I ever make for Round and his son. The family dinners have grown to be a favorite part of my week, seeing the both of them together, laughing so openly. It’s absolutely wonderful. I knew we had to share one more meal before I leave. I need to fill up with as many happy memories as I can before starting my new life alone.

I’m just placing it on the counter to cool, when I hear the door slam. I didn’t expect Round home for hours at least. I mentally run over the past few hours, making sure that all my bags are safely in the trunk of my car, and let out a relieved sigh. Turning toward the living room, I paste on a fake smile and wait for him to walk into the kitchen. A second later, he comes storming into the room with a glare on his handsome face.

“What is this shit I keep hearing about you leaving town?” Round snarls, wrapping his massive hands around the door frame.

“Me leaving town? Where did you hear that from?” I ask, trying to keep the nervousness from my voice.

“Lisa, now’s not the time for your shit,” he growls, walking toward me. “Now, answer my damn question.”

I’m not sure what he’s been told, so I try to keep my answer as vague as possible. “I’m planning on visiting my sister and Wes soon. Tracy’s been bugging me for weeks to come visit. We haven’t seen each other since Christmas.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid, woman.” Round grabs my arm and jerks me toward him. “I hear that you’re training someone else for your job. You don’t train a replacement for a short visit to your sister’s house.”

I have no idea what to say, but he doesn’t give me time to respond. “Were you even gonna tell me, or just let me come home to an empty house?”

Fuck, how am I supposed to answer that? It’s exactly what I had planned, but it didn’t seem so bad in my mind. Now that I hear it coming from his lips, it makes me sound like the biggest bitch in the world. I try to jerk away from him, needing to put some space between us, but he only tightens his hold.

Tears fill my eyes as his fingers dig into my flesh. “Let go of me, Round. You’re hurting my arm.”

He loosens his hold on my arm, but he doesn’t let me go. “I will let go when you talk to me and tell me what the fuck is going on.”

My mind moves at lightning speed, trying to come up with a response. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I want to hear the truth come out of your lips at least once.” He jerks his head toward the hallway.” If I go in our bedroom, am I gonna see all your shit packed up? Are you already packed to leave me?”

For some reason, his words irritate me, and I can’t hold my tongue. “If they are, it wouldn’t be any different than normal. My shit has always been in bags. I have been living out of a suitcase the whole damn time I’ve been here.”

Round finally lets go and takes a step back, running a hand through his hair. “I told you we’d move all of Lauren’s stuff to the attic. You’re the one who said you didn’t want me to do that. You said it wouldn’t be right.”

“Considering I’ve been living here for months, you were a little late on that offer,” I reply, not caring how harsh I sound. “It doesn’t count if you only make the offer when you think I’m heading out the door.”

I can see the affect my words are having on him. A part of me wants to reach up and cup his cheek, tell him that everything is going to be okay. That would be a lie, though, and I’m done lying. It’s time to tell him everything in my heart.

“You’ve kept me on the back burner for years. I understood it when Lauren was alive, but after she died…” My voice goes to a whisper as I go on. “When she died and you brought me home with you, I thought I was gonna get to have all of you. She’s gone. She’s not coming back, but I’m here. I’ve been here. If you want to be with me, I need to feel like I matter. But there’s no way for that to happen, even with her shit gone. I’m a whore. I’ve always been a whore, and that’s all I’ll ever be.”

I can tell my words hit him hard by the look on his face. He takes a step back toward me, shaking his head. “No, you used to be a club whore, but since we’ve been together, you’ve turned down anyone else. A whore doesn’t do that. My biggest regret is saying that shit about you. I didn’t mean it, and I never should’ve said it. I may not have always treated you like you deserved to be treated, but I promise, I’m gonna work on that.”

I want to believe what he’s saying, but I’m scared. My eyes go to his, tears pooling in their depths. “Do you know what it feels like to be forced to compete with a ghost? Can you imagine being in love with someone that you know will never love you back?”

Round reaches for me again, pulling me against his chest. “Did you just say that you loved me?”

“Out of all that, that’s the only thing you heard?” I let out a bitter laugh and bury my head against his cut.

He chuckles, rubbing his hands up and down my back. “I love you, too, Lisa. Never have I ever loved anyone the way I love you.”

My head snaps back, and I look into his coffee colored eyes. “What did you say?”

He doesn’t repeat himself. Instead, he says, “I wouldn’t know what to do without you. You mean everything to me, and I should’ve let you know that a long time ago. You started out as my friend and were there when I needed someone the most. I tried to keep you away because I felt guilty about loving you more than I did Lauri. It felt so wrong to love you and not love the mother of my children, but I couldn’t help it. You crept into my heart, and that’s where you will always stay. I fucked up with Lauren, didn’t give her what she needed. I was afraid I’d fuck up with you, too.”

His words shock me to the core. How could Round think that? He wasn’t the one that fucked up; he wasn’t the one sleeping around with someone else. Well, at least not until long after his wife did.

“You’re wrong about that, honey,” I reply with a shake of my head. “You didn’t fuck up. She did.”

He leans down and places a kiss on the top of my head. “You don’t know everything, baby. I wasn’t the perfect husband.”

I can’t hold back my snort. “No shit. You’re not exactly the perfect boyfriend either.”

My heart skips a beat when I realize what I said. Never before have I called him my boyfriend or my man. I’ve never laid a claim to him in any way, and other than telling me that I’m his, he’s never claimed me either. That just isn’t how our relationship works. Plus, it seems odd to call a forty-seven-year-old man a boyfriend.

He lets out another chuckle. “Considering I’m a man, I think you should pick your words more carefully.”

“Well, then, what should I call you?” I ask, letting my anger and all my plans of running off fade away.

He stays still for a long time, not moving a damn muscle. Finally, he pulls back and looks into my eyes again. Still, he doesn’t say anything, just stares at me as if he is looking at me for the very first time.

Finally, a smile crosses his face, and he says, “How about we try old man, and I can call you old lady?”

M
y son shoves
another bite of lasagna into his mouth. “This shit is so fucking good. You’re gonna have to make it more often.”

I know what’s coming next, and know what Smoke’s reaction is gonna be, so I just look over at Lisa and wait for her reply. She doesn’t disappoint me, never does, and I’m starting to doubt she ever will.

“I make it at least once a month. It’s your dad’s favorite,” she replies, reaching across the table for a piece of garlic bread. “He just doesn’t like to share.”

“Once a month?” Smoke asks, his eyes cutting to me. “You’ve been holding out on me, Dad?”

A laugh slips past my lips as I look at Lisa. “If I told you everything she cooked, I’d never get any time alone with my old lady.”

Her beautiful brown eyes light up, just as they always do when I lay claim to her. It’s only been two weeks since she officially became mine, but already my life has changed. Lisa doesn’t hold back anymore; she’s all in. Her all in is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Damn, it’s a fucking beautiful life.

She slings her dark hair over her shoulder and gives him a sweet smile. “I’ll make sure I let you know next time I make it.”

“Don’t tell me in front of the brothers,” he says, serious as hell. “They’ll beat me over here to get some.”

She laughs, shaking her head at him. “Now, you’re the one that’s holding out on your brothers.”

“Damn right, I am. Those fuckers don’t deserve to eat your cooking. I earned that right by putting up with my father for the last thirty years,” he says with a smile, as his phone dings with a text.

He pulls it out and reads it quickly, then looks over to me. “Gotta head to the clubhouse. Boz wants me to ride out with him.”

By the look on his face, I can tell that something’s off. My eyes go to Lisa, and I motion for her to give us a little space. Proving she was born to be an old lady, she simply smiles and stands up. She sends me a wink before walking over to Smoke and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Ride safe, Smoke,” she says as she walks out of the room.

“Always do,” he replies, still smiling at her, then adds, “Thanks for dinner, Lisa. It was damn good.”

“Any time,” she shouts from the hallway.

I wait until I hear her go into the bedroom and shut the door before asking, “What’s going on?”

“Boz wants all of the officers to ride with him tonight,” he says, not giving me any more information.

Sometimes, it’s hard as hell to remember I gave up my VP patch, knowing my son was a better fit to sit at Boz’s side, so I’m no longer in on everything that goes on in the club. More often than not, it pisses me way the fuck off. Still, I keep my mouth shut.

Lifting my chin, I say the same thing I said the day he put on his officer’s cut. “Watch the Pres’ back.”

“Until the day I die,” he promises, standing up and heading to the door.

When I hear the door click closed, I stand up and head toward the back of the house. As soon as I walk into the bedroom, the sound of the shower running hits my ear. A smile spreads across my lips as thoughts of my naked woman fill my head. I strip off my clothes, grab a condom from the dresser, and head into the bathroom. When I step inside, I hear Lisa’s beautiful voice singing, and my smile grows.

I lay the condom on the shelf beside the bathtub as I push open the shower curtain. The sound gets Lisa’s attention; she stops singing as she jerks around to look at me. A big smile reaches her face when she sees my naked body, and I step in the shower with her. I barely have time to shut the curtain before she grabs me and slams her lips against mine.

I kiss her back, and while our tongues are at war with each other, I reach up and grab a handful of her long wet hair. I wrap it around my fist and give it a firm yank until she is forced to pull her mouth away. “You didn’t ask me if I wanted to shower with you. That wasn’t very nice, and I think you deserve some sort of punishment.”

I give her head just enough of a push so that she knows what I want. My woman knows exactly what’s on my mind, and as I loosen my grip on her hair, she immediately goes to her knees.

“I thought you said punishment. I wouldn’t by any means call this punishment,” she purrs before she wraps her silky hand around my hardened length while leaning forward to lick the head of my cock.

As she wraps those wonderful lips around me, it takes me a minute to put words together to form a response. “We are just getting started. There’s plenty of time for punishment.”

I lean back against the shower wall when she takes me deep into her mouth. I can feel the head of my cock brushing the back of her throat, and the intense pleasure is almost more than I can take.

“Fuck yes, baby, that feels so good,” I groan out as she tightens her grip.

She knows how to use her mouth to bring me right to the edge. I’m not sure what it is she does with her tongue around the head of my dick, but it curls my toes every time with a mixture of pleasure and torture. All I know is it feels great.

I take her hair in my hand once again and pull her lips off of me. She has water running down the sides of her face from the spray of the shower, and it looks hot as hell. I’m one lucky motherfucker.

She pouts at me as I help her to stand up. She runs her hand over my beard-covered jaw and asks, “Why did you make me stop? It was just getting good.”

I chuckle at her as I wipe the water from her face. “There’s only so much hot water, and I have other plans for this shower.”

I reach out and give her hardened nipple a swift tug before kissing her with enough intensity that there’s no way she can question that her efforts went unnoticed.

She moans against my mouth as I turn us and press her against the back of the shower. I run my hands down the sides of her body until I reach the soft curve of her ass. I caress it for a minute, amazed by the perfect combination of firmness and softness that it entails.

With one hand, I lift the back of her leg enough so she can prop it on the edge of the tub. I remove my other hand from her long enough to reach around and cup her soaking wet pussy. As I run my fingers through her wet folds, her moans of pleasure and her nails digging into my back let me know she’s just as ready as I am.

I reach outside of the shower and grab the condom off the shelf, and before I can get it opened, she’s yanking it out of my hand. “You don’t need that anymore.”

“Huh?” I mumble, my cock aching with need.

“You’re mine now, Round. I trust you. I know there is no way you would be with anyone else,” she says, tossing the condom in the trash and grabbing my cock. “There’s no reason for anything to come between you and me anymore.”

A groan of pleasure works its way up my throat. “This is gonna be quick, babe, but I promise you it’ll be good.”

“I have no doubt about that. You have never not pleased me,” she admits, moving her hand to my chest.

I rub my thumb against her swollen clit, while sliding my cock through her slick juices, then thrust into her. The intense pleasure causes both of us to groan, and I only take a second to enjoy it before I’m pounding into her. I put my other hand behind her head to keep her from banging it against the shower wall.

I continue my assault on her pussy, while still rubbing a circular rhythm on her clit. I can feel her walls tightening around me and know that she is close.

“Baby, your pussy makes me weak. I could be inside of it all day, every day, and it still wouldn’t be enough,” I say before slamming my mouth down to hers. The kiss is short; our panting and moans won’t allow for anything longer.

“Please, don’t stop,” she begs, nibbling on my bottom lip.

I’m not gonna last much longer, so I give her clit a hard pinch and feel her pussy convulse around me. After a couple more thrusts, I join her over the edge. A satisfied expression crosses her face, making a smile cross mine.

“I love you, Round,” she mumbles, burying her face in my neck.

“You too, baby.” My arms wrap around her, holding her close. “Always.”