Guided Love (Prick #1) (43 page)

“Wow, she seriously did take care of everything. She’s still telling me what to do,” he says with humor in his voice, but I can tell that everything is finalizing. He places the envelope on the table and takes out five white envelopes, each envelope is personalized to the pricks. One for Allen, Paul, Carrie, Jay, and Camaron.

“Babe, can you put these in the kitchen? I want to make sure that we give them their envelope tomorrow at the barbeque.”

Axel decided that, after the service, he is going to have everyone back here and we are going to do what Ellie loved most: a barbeque. I take the envelopes and put them in the kitchen so that Axel doesn't forget to give them to everyone.

I walk back in and the box is now empty and on the floor. Axel is sitting on the couch with tears in his eyes. I walk over, grab his hand, and see that he is looking at a wooden box. I don't say anything, I just sit and place my head on his shoulder and squeeze his hand. I hear him clear his throat and when I look up, he takes my face into his hands and gives me the sweetest, most gentlest kiss. I pull back and can't help but smile.

“You okay, Axel?”

He bites his lower lip and nods at me.

“Yeah, baby, I’m fine.”

He reaches for the box and hands it to me.

“This is for you.”

I look into his eyes as he smirks.

I take the box and look at it—it’s gorgeous. It's definitely old and has a faded picture of the ocean on the front. I slowly and carefully open the top and a ballerina pops up. There is a small mirror on the back and I look and see there is a small knob. I twist it and the ballerina twirls to a nice, soft melody. I squeeze the box in my hands and close my eyes. I can't hold it in right now, I can't be strong, and I lower my head and cry.

I feel his arm around me, his chin on top of my head. The smell of his cologne and the feel of his touch eases my tears.

“Samantha, no tears, baby. Shhh, everything is going to be alright, remember.”

Picking up my head and wiping my eyes, I bite my lip and nod.

“Here.”

Axel hands me a piece of paper and I am so nervous to read it. I look down and once again start to cry.

To Samantha, the love of my son’s life,

This music box was given to me by my mother when I was 12. I know it’s not much but I always hoped that one day I would be able to give it to my daughter. Samantha, you are the love of my son's life and you, honey, are my daughter. So please, take this box and fill it with memories. Hopefully, one day, you too can pass it on to your daughter. Thank you so much, Sam, for loving my son and making him happy. Seeing Axel in love is one of the best memories I will take with me.

I love you, Sam. Remember you are a strong, beautiful woman. Don't ever doubt that. If you do, just look into his eyes because, baby girl, you are the perfect ingredient for my Axel.

Xoxoxo

Ellie

It's Saturday morning and we are getting ready to head to the graveyard. The service will start at 11, and Axel is having everyone back here for a barbeque afterward. Carrie and Gabby have been so helpful, they went with me to get the food and prep it for today. I hear Axel coming down the stairs and I can't help but stop in my tracks. He walks toward me, wearing a black suit with a crisp white shirt. I know I must look like a goof with my mouth hanging open. This man is truly the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. He stops in front of me and I see that he is also wearing a red tie. I run my hand down the tie and he smiles and winks.

“Ma liked red.”

“Well, you look amazing, Axel.”

He grabs my hand, twirls me, and brings me against his body. His right hand is holding mine and his left is firmly against my lower back. He starts to dance around the kitchen just like Ellie and Tony did. With one more twirl and then a dip, he brings my hands up to his mouth and kisses both.

“Thank you, Samantha, for being strong all this week. Thank you for everything, baby, I know that I would not be able to get through this without you.”

I kiss his lips one last time. “No problem, baby. It's you and me, okay? Always.” I turn and grab my clutch, Axel grabs his keys and my hand and we head to the service.

The service went beautifully. I made sure to have tissues, as the pastor spoke such beautiful words, and then opened the floor for anyone who wanted to share a memory of Ellie. To my surprise, the first person to the podium is Camaron. This is a shocker. Camaron is usually too nervous to speak in front of large groups and he is bad at dealing with loss; for him to walk to the podium, that alone, had me in tears. He stands there, looking out at the crowd and he sees me in the first row between Axel and Paul. He gives me a small nod and looks down at what I assume is a piece of paper, he clears his throat and begins.

“Good afternoon, everyone. For those of you who don't know me, I am Camaron Willis. I am a friend of Ellie's son, Axel; that is how I came to know her. What can I say about such an amazing woman? When I moved here, I was alone. I flew across country, started a business with Axel, and knew absolutely no one. The first night here, Ellie brought me a bag of groceries and at least seven containers of frozen food. She said that any friend of Axel's was family and she took care of family. She accepted me for who I am and never expected anything in return. She would constantly worry—not only about Axel, but about all of us at the shop. She would call, check in, and make sure that we were eating.”

I can see that he is starting to struggle, as he is now pulling at his collar. He looks up and he has a look of fear in his eyes. He again looks down and continues.

“Not only would she worry about our stomachs, she worried about us: about our lives and our hearts. I remember, not too long ago, I screwed up. Man, when I tell you I screwed up, I mean big time. I lost the woman that held my heart. I treated her badly and she left me. The days and nights started to look the same as I was surrounded by darkness. I had no light shining through and it seemed no matter what anyone said, I couldn't forgive myself for what I did. Then, one day, I hear a soft knock on my door; a door that had been closed to everyone who came to it. Of course, being stubborn, I didn't move from the couch. I just sat there. Then, I look up to see Ellie walking through what would have been my doorway. She had two men remove my door from the hinges. I remember sitting there looking at her like she was crazy. She was far from crazy, she was a concerned Ma making sure that I was okay. Well, I wish I could say we laughed, but, no, Ma, she lectured me and then we had coffee. She taught me a few lessons about being a friend and being a man of his word. She taught me that you don't let go of people who matter and you never let go of yourself. When you want things in this world, you fight for them. She told me that love will come and when it does, the rough waters and the battles will all be worth it, because love is worth fighting for. Ma truly was the wisest woman I have ever met and I am so glad that she loved me like I was one of her own.”

I grab a tissue and wipe my eyes, I see Camaron look right at me. We lock eyes and I smile even though the tears are streaming down my face, but his smile falls when he notices Axel’s hand on my knee. He shakes his head and walks back into the crowd. My stomach is now in knots because he never should have found out about me and Axel this way. I feel like crying, but now for an entirely different reason. I feel Axel stare and I turn to look at him. He studies my eyes, and then takes his hand from my knee, but I grab it and hold his hand. I may be feeling bad, but it’s not because I am in love with him, I just think that, as his friends, we should have talked to him, but really should it matter? No, it shouldn't. I squeeze his hand, rest my head on his shoulder, and continue to listen to the wonderful stories everyone is sharing.

I’m in the kitchen getting all of the food ready. With what we already prepared and the food that people have dropped off, we can feed a small country. Axel is outside starting the grill and talking to a few neighbors that just stopped to give their condolences. Gabby is gathering all the bowls I put on the counter and taking them outside. I hear the door close and I look up over the refrigerator door and see Camaron standing there with his arms crossed.

“Camaron, that was a beautiful speech.”

He has this blank stare on his face and he walks closer to me.

“We need to talk.”

“About?”

He shuts the refrigerator door, grabs my hand, and walks us to the living room. I gently pull my hand from his, and start to fiddle with the magazines on the coffee table.

“What's wrong, Camaron?”

He rubs his hand through his hair and brings his eyes up to mine.

“Did I lose you?”

I must have made a confused look as he continues on, “Did I lose you?”

“Camaron, I’m right here. We worked through everything and I’m standing right here. I’m one of your best friends, Cam, and I always will be. Nothing and no one will ever change that.”

I know he is analyzing each and every word I say.

“You didn't answer my question. Did I lose your heart, Sam? Did I lose you?”

I take a deep breath and before I can respond, he reads it all over my face and his face drops. He starts to pace back and forth and he is shaking his head.

“No! NO! You can't say that. Don't tell me this, Sam. I’m sorry, baby, I really am. I am so sorry that I did what I did, but I’m different now. I need you, Sam, you are my anchor. Please, don't do this to me. Please.”

He stands in front of me, inches from each other. He takes his hand and tries to touch my face when I step back. The look on his face breaks my heart.

“Camaron, I am here for you. Seriously, you need to know I am always here as your best friend, but you don’t love me. You never loved me like that. You’re just confused.”

“No, Sam, I’m not confused. I know that you have had my heart since we were kids. You have always been there for me. I love you, Sam, I do. Please just tell me you love me. Tell me that I still have a chance to win your heart.”

He steps towards me again, but there is no place for me to move, as I am up against the wall and he has his arms against the wall trapping me in. He starts to lower his head when I hear it.

“Camaron, man, you are my friend, and because of that I am going to tell you this, rather than kick your ass. Get your ass away from my woman now.”

Camaron turns his head towards Axel who is standing in the archway from the kitchen. Camaron, being the prick he is, starts to chuckle. He lowers his arms and I make my way out of the way and walk over toward Axel.

“Seriously, Axel, your woman? What the fuck?”

“Yeah, Cam, my woman. I’m sorry, man, I should have told you.”

Camaron is now in Axel's face—nose to nose. I don't know what to do. I try to interfere but Axel grabs my hand and puts himself in front of me.

“What the fuck do you mean you should have told me, Axel? Told me what? That you are a fucking piece of shit friend. That you went after the one girl that has my heart. Is that what the fuck you should have told me?”

“No, Camaron, I should have told you that I fell in love with her. I should have kicked your ass back when you fucked her over, because I have been in love with this woman since the day I met her. I had to stand back and watch you, the one person she was loyal to, fuck her with every fucking choice you made. Like I said, I’m sorry but I can't help it, man, she is the fucking world to me and there’s no chance of me letting that go.”

Camaron looks up at him and sees there is nothing but pure hatred staring back; then his eyes find me and they fill with tears.

“Sam, please.”

I walk around Axel and I stand right in front of him; all I see is sadness—he looks broken.