Guardian of My Soul (8 page)

“What you are suggesting is just as dangerous as what I put
on the table,” Sally insisted stubbornly. Kyle ran an agitated hand through his
hair.

“Not in the least, sweetheart,” he rebuffed. “You’re
suggesting you crawl back into a mental state that still wakes you up in a cold
sweat more nights than not even now, more than ten years later. You’re talking
about going back into the heart of your worst time and possibly losing your
soul. All to bait some stupid fucking traitor when I can just as easily
pretend
to turn dark and reach the same endgame.”

“No,” Sally argued forcefully. “Not the same endgame. You’ll
come back with some uselessly weak ritual and we’ll attempt to beef it up.
Chances are we’ll still end up with it blowing up in our faces and spoiling any
hope we have of getting the Tribunal member’s attention. And that is only if
you aren’t killed outright when some revved up dabbler decides to show his
balls to the more powerful ones and kill you because you move funny or don’t
show him what he thinks is enough respect. I won’t have you risk yourself like
that.”

“And I won’t have you risk your soul just to save me a bit
of trouble,” Kyle replied back angrily.

Sally squeezed his hand in hers a gentle smile tilting at
the corner of her mouth.

“Don’t you call yourself the Guardian of my soul?” she asked
quietly. All the heat of their mutual anger evaporated. Kyle felt himself
deflate at her gentle question. His shoulders sagged slightly.

“Of course I do,” he replied back, his voice calm and low. “You’ve
heard me state that any number of times when we’ve shared a private, tender
moment.”

“Well then,” she finished as if they had both agreed. “I won’t
be risking my soul at all, will I? Not when I have a Guardian to hold and keep
it safe.”

Kyle shook his head, the frustration faint but still
present. He felt impotent. A tiny part of him which he refused to acknowledge
knew her idea had merit. The darkness was always close to hand inside Sally.
She could tap into it, write the ritual and be back a hundred times faster than
he ever could.

But the danger to Sally’s mind, spirit and soul was incalculable.
Just the thought made Kyle sweat in fear. He had almost lost her once. He didn’t
think he could survive if it happened for real this time, especially not when
he could have stopped her.

“I still don’t like it,” he insisted. “Can’t we just try my
way first? Let me see if I can find some punk willing to sell me a two-bit
ritual.”

“You know very well that would just be wasting time,” Sally
insisted calmly. She stood and collected their dishes, crossing over to the
sink and adding them with the skillet.

“The sooner I get this started, the quicker we can lure the
rogue to our trap,” she continued as she washed the dishes. Kyle sighed and stood,
grabbed a tea towel and dried the items she placed in his rack.

“I still say this plan bites,” he grumbled. “Why don’t I tap
into my darkness, write the ritual myself?”

Sally rinsed the suds from her hands as he dried the last of
the plates. She chuckled and reached out to touch his jaw. With only the
slightest of pressure she tilted his face down to hers, lifted herself and
kissed him tenderly on the lips. Kyle watched her as they tasted each other,
his heart in his eyes.

He honestly didn’t know what he’d do if harm came to her. It
would drive him mad.

“I can do it much faster than you,” she replied with a grin.
“And you know that very well. We’ll need to go to my place. I have some
protective herbs, incense and I still have some of my old candles locked away
in a box in my basement.”

Kyle nodded but still thought hard. He had the brief drive
over to try to think up a different plan good enough to convince Sally not to
go through with this. He didn’t like his chances, but he was determined to try.

Despite this he packed a small duffel with a change of
clothes—uncertain where their next move might lead them—but also a few of his
arsenal of things. Some protective herbs, a few charms and the dried remains of
the incense he had used when he sought Sally out of the darkness all those many
years ago.

It was only as he added the last item to his duffel and
grabbed his battered leather jacket from its hanger that he realized a part of
him knew any further arguing was futile. Kyle was far from happy with this turn
of events, but he had always been a realist.

He swore nothing would happen to his love, but his fingers
still shook as he zipped his bag up.

* * * * *

Water sluiced down her body. Sally breathed deeply of the
steam and tried to clear her mind of all the nerves, fear and crowded thoughts.
She needed to concentrate. A part of the ritual when cleansing her body was
supposed to help narrow her thoughts, bring her purpose into clearer focus and
assist her.

This morning, she might as well have skipped this part.

A part of her mind still appeared to be wrapped around Kyle,
lazing decadently on his enormous bed. Sally could happily have still lain
there, touching and tasting the wizard and never moved a muscle away from him
again. She knew had she asked for some more time he would have given it to her.
Sally hated to appear weak though and didn’t want Kyle to pamper her because he
felt sorry for her.

Despite her ferocious arguing, her concerns about the plan
she’d suggested actually ran deep. She knew how tempting the power of black
magic was, how addictive and how slippery the slope downward was. Few people
went as far down that slide as she had and returned to tell the tale.

Sometimes when she thought too hard about the constant day
in day out struggle she lived and breathed she wondered if perhaps she was as
strong as Kyle blindly believed. But then the demons would whisper in her ear
once again and she knew someone as inherently good as Kyle thought she was
would not struggle as she did.

The preparatory incense tingled her senses and Sally took in
a deep breath then released it slowly. She imagined all her doubts and worries
being purged from her body with it. As usual, when she mentally visualized
this, the vapor being exhaled was a smoky gray-black.

She never purposely imagined it thus, but anything she tried
to purge from her body she subconsciously believed was contaminated, something
poisonous that needed to be expelled.

Sally continued to wash her body with the violet-scented
soap. Now she knew she was deferring the moment of truth and a part of her
stubbornly wanted to get out and get it over with. Realistically, however, she
knew she had to prepare further. The hot water helped her, but Sally wasn’t
sure this was the right way for her to do this anymore.

She needed Kyle, his calming presence and rocklike
steadfastness.

Though, now she thought about it, on the drive over he had
appeared even more on edge than she. Maybe they could comfort each other for
once, and not have her rely so fully upon him.

Sally took another deep, cleansing breath. She’d gathered
little use she could from the cleansing. Mentally holding her courage she
rinsed her body and long hair thoroughly then turned off the faucets. Drying
herself, she wrung her hair out and toweled it as much as possible.

She dressed carefully and with significant purpose.

White cotton panties and a simple white lace bra started her
off. Usually she preferred more colorful lingerie, but where she was going
Sally knew anything that reminded her of the light and goodness would be
needed. Sexy panties or frilly, lacy items could be used as a temptation, a
seduction or even a reminder. The plan was for white, simple and plain. No need
to feed her demons or give the darkness an opportunity.

Picking up her hairbrush, Sally rummaged in her closet as
she idly stroked the tangles from her long hair. Eventually she placed the
brush on the smooth wooden top of her dresser.

She picked out a large white t-shirt with a small logo on
the front in blue and purple. After another moment’s thought she coupled the
shirt with an ankle length white skirt with a colorful floral pattern printed
over it. Sally did own a pair of tight white jeans, but she wanted to be
comfortable and the memories associated with the skirt were good. Happy and
innocent.

Almost a year ago she and Kyle had been Guarding a young
boy. They’d spent the whole day on the mission while his parents were
interstate and their regular Guardian protected the adults. She and Kyle had
passed the day in a large inner city parkland with the child. The parents had
insisted they wear plain clothes and blend in, hence her use of the skirt.

While both she and Kyle had been continuously watchful and
protective of the energetic, eager young boy, the sun had shone brightly and
birds had sung from the trees. The park was a large green area, a hidden gem in
amongst the city limits.

She and Kyle had frolicked with the boy, playing catch and
tag, burning endless energy and having a wonderful time together. The special
time with her partner had left a lot of good energy and memories within the
skirt. Sally knew she could use all the help she could for what she wanted to
do this morning.

Sally pulled a hair elastic around her wrist. She worked
better on her spells with her hair loose but she planned to remain in her spare
room no matter what the distraction once she settled there. She had long ago
converted the secondary bedroom into a mini office area and working area for
her castings. All her regular tools were there.

Before her shower she’d gone down into the basement. In
amongst her personal things was a sealed shoebox. Years ago she’d put the few
items she had not been able to get rid of from her darker days into it, stashed
away as far out of mind and sight as possible.

Sally drew in a quick breath and decided to get this over
with, like ripping off a bandage. She grabbed a small pair of scissors from one
of her vanity drawers and broke the cellophane seal. Lifting the lid from the
box she struggled hard to keep her hands from shaking.

Much like regular magic, dark magic came from within
oneself. Just as any casting or powerful spell required the user to impart some
of their essence into it, so too did performing any more menacing magic. It was
because of this despite turning her back completely on that part of her life
Sally couldn’t part with a few unused items from her dark years.

Memories assailed her as she glanced at the black candles
she had personally imbibed with herbs, specific incense and a portion of her
magic. There were a handful of talisman that had never been activated and the
last few incense cones she had created for various purposes.

Each of these items and the cloth she had used to cast upon
on her small wooden altar had all been carefully packed. Years later and they
still looked pristine, despite their time in storage.

Infused with her essence and magic, the items could be used
powerfully against her, to cause harm her should they fall into the wrong
hands. Similarly, destroying them without using them could temporarily weaken
her as her essence dispersed into the atmosphere and ran wild before
dissipating.

Sally had not wanted to necessarily keep these items and
reminders of her past, especially considering the power they held and
temptation they had initially proven to be. Just as an opened bottle of scotch
sitting in the pantry tempted an alcoholic, so too had the knowledge her old tools
lay just at her fingertips almost taken her to the brink. Those first few
months had been unbearable at times. But with Kyle by her side, frequently not
leaving her at all, she had found strength to carry on.

Over time the desire had decreased but never fully gone
away. The sheer eagerness she felt to once again hold her old tools of the
trade made Sally shake with mingled fear and excitement. Knowing how dangerous
these items were did not temper her desire to use them to their fullest
potential. She knew Kyle was still not sold on her performing this ritual, and
in her heart she was everlastingly grateful he would be by her side should the
worst come to pass.

Tired of procrastinating, Sally gathered up a few of the
black wax candles, the small, charmed compass to help lead her where she needed
to go and the incense. She lay them out on her dresser and carefully resealed
the shoebox before gathering her items and heading out into the living room.

Kyle paced out front of her window like a caged beast. Her heart
melted at his evident worry and she wished she could reassure him further. She
knew, however, that were their positions reversed nothing he could say would
calm her fears, and so she decided the sooner they began the sooner she would
return to him.

“I’m ready,” she spoke softly. “Do you want to wait in the
room with me? Or remain here?”

“I’ll wait inside where I can watch you, sweetheart,” Kyle
replied firmly. “I’m not letting you out of my sight, even if I can’t follow
you initially.”

Sally smiled and nodded to the hallway, indicated Kyle to go
first. She walked a pace behind him as he opened the door to the spare room.
The fact he glanced around the room, checking it as if they were on duty and
clearing it for safety, didn’t go unnoticed to her. She remained silent, not
wanting to divert either of them.

He pushed the door fully open and stepped aside to let her
enter first. The room smelled of sage, rosemary and sea salt. She always
cleaned the altar and casting area obsessively to obscure any stain her magic
may have unwittingly caused, or if her work had allowed something to catch a
ride back.

Today, she knew, it would take more than a thorough cleaning
after what she planned. It would take time and a passing of the different
phases of the moon to thoroughly cleanse what she hoped to achieve. Sally
pushed aside that knowledge and focused instead upon the task she needed to
concentrate on.