Guardian (42 page)

Rafael still hesitated, and I felt terrible for lying to him. It was my first real lie, the first one I had ever told for my own sake, for selfish purposes. But I refused to back down.

“Please, Rafael,” I whispered brokenly.

A feeling of triumph overwhelmed me as I saw Rafael’s eyes change and accept, even before he spoke. I had won. He would do it.

“All right,” he whispered, and grabbed my arm, leading me out of the house and to the Hummer.

His movements were quick and agitated, and I knew he felt that what he was doing was wrong, and wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. I stayed silent for the whole ride downtown, not daring to speak lest I jinx my good luck. We pulled up to the foster care building, and I followed Rafael out of the car and up the few steps, but he whirled around as we reached the front door and reached out a hand to stop me.

“Stay here. I think it’s best if I go alone. Just wait here for me.”

“All right,” I said, a little too quickly. I didn’t care about being there, whether I saw it happen or not. I just needed to know
where
. I put my hand over Rafael’s and squeezed it gently. “And thank you, Rafael,” I whispered earnestly.

His mouth firmed into a long thin line, but he let go of me and turned to go back into the building. I watched him go with bated breath, feeling frozen to the ground the whole time he was inside, wondering if he would really do it. I knew this kind of thing went against Rafael’s sense of honesty, that he felt it was a misuse of his powers.

Compulsion was only supposed to be used to protect people, to keep the Fallen’s secret, not for personal gain. But he was doing it for me – me, the liar. I didn’t focus on that part of it. I shifted anxiously from foot to foot, keeping my hands deep in the pockets of my coat and hunching my shoulders against the chilly December wind.

“Lyla?”

I didn’t recognize my own name at first, only kept staring obsessively at the door to the building. Then a hand touched my arm and I jumped and whirled, coming face to face with Natalie and Austin.

“Lyla!” Natalie exclaimed, and she leapt forward, throwing her arms around me.

I stiffened at the touch, not wanting to be so close to anyone at that particular moment. But no sooner had Natalie let go of me than Austin stepped forward, hugging me as well. As soon as I was released I took several steps back, wanting to put some distance between myself and these people that I felt I barely knew right now. They were distracting me from waiting for news of Colton and Grace. I didn’t have
time
for anything else!

“Where have you
been
?” Natalie asked. “We’ve been trying and trying to get a hold of you, but you’re never home and you won’t answer your phone. Have you found Colton and Grace?”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat in order to answer her questions, forcing myself too, because saying it out loud hurt every time I had to do it. “They’re in foster care. They got taken away. They’ve already been placed with a family.”

Both their faces fell with genuine sympathy.

“Lyla, I’m so sorry,” Austin said. “Can they really do things so fast? It’s only been what, like a week or so?”

“They can, if the parents sign them away,” I whispered, looking at the ground.

“Oh, Lyla,” Natalie whimpered. There was a long, uncomfortable silence, and then Natalie cleared her throat. “When are you coming back to school, Lyla? I know you missed quite a few days, but I’m sure the teachers will understand. You’ll probably even be able to make up your exams.”

I shook my head vehemently. “I’m not going back,” I said flatly. It was the truth. If I got Colton and Grace, I wouldn’t be able to go to school. I wouldn’t be able to be found, period. Not
if
I got them, but
when
.

Natalie and Austin both looked at me with identical expressions of shock. For the first time, I noticed they were holding hands. When had that happened? What else had I missed in the past two weeks? In the past four months I’d spent mostly with Rafael and the Fallen?

“Lyla, I know this seems like the worst thing in the world right now, and it’s a terrible tragedy, but-”

“It
is
the worst thing in the world,” I cut in sharply, shocking them with my violent tone. “How would you feel if your mom tossed Matt out of the house without a backward glance, Natalie?”

She was stunned into silence, but Austin tried once more, “Lyla, you can’t just give up on school. You need to finish high school, at least. It’s just a few more months, surely you can stick it out that long.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, no. Rafael is inside, getting more information. He’s going to help me. I don’t need any help from anyone else. Thanks for the concern, but I need to do this.” I walked away from them, leaving them standing on the sidewalk as I entered the lobby of the building so they wouldn’t follow. I hid behind a potted tree and watched Natalie and Austin exchange a few words, some worried glances, and then slowly walk away. Once the coast was clear, I went outside again to wait for Rafael.

I couldn’t form any regret over what I had said to them. I really didn’t believe I would ever return to high school. How could I? What was the point without Colton and Grace? In order to be complete, to feel like I had a place in the world, I needed them at my side. I was too obsessed with my plan to have room for rational thought about anything else.

Rafael finally emerged from the building, walking quickly, and I rushed to meet him. “Did you-” I began, but he put a hand against the small of my back and ushered me down the steps.

“I don’t want to linger here too long,” he said quietly.

Though I was about to explode, I hurried to the Hummer. Once Rafael helped me inside, he took my hand and pressed something into it. I looked down and saw a folded piece of paper. My heart nearly burst from my chest in excitement.

“Oh, Rafael,
thank you
!” I said, genuinely smiling for the first time in what felt like years.

He didn’t smile back at me, only looked deep in my eyes and said, “You’ve barely slept the last week, Lyla. I think you should get some rest.”

With a sinking feeling I realized what was happening, as my eyes got heavy and Rafael glowed a little bit around the edges. “Promised…” I muttered, trying so hard to resist the compulsion. I
had
to get to Colton and Grace,
now
, right away! But I was helpless to stop it, and the next thing I knew, my eyes had closed.

When I woke up, it was dark outside. I slowly sat up, wincing at the kinks I had developed from sleeping on the hard floor of the warehouse. It took me a moment to gather my bearings and realize how I had ended up here. At last I remembered, and threw the blanket off as I jumped to my feet, storming over to Rafael, who was talking to Rachel and Matthias.

I shoved Rafael when I reached him, and when he didn’t move an inch, I shoved him again. “You had no right!” I shouted. “You promised to never do that to me again! Now I’ve wasted a whole day!”

“Actually, Lyla, honey,” Rachel said gently, “you’ve been asleep for two days. It’s Thursday evening.”

My eyes nearly bulged from their sockets and I rounded on Rafael with renewed vigor. “You compelled me to sleep for two whole days?!”

“No!” Rafael shot back. “I just wanted you to get some rest before doing something about Colton and Grace! Which you clearly needed since you stayed asleep for so long!”

“You were exhausted,” Matthias interjected.

“I can’t believe you!” I franticly scrambled around in my coat and jeans pockets, until I found the precious piece of paper. In neat handwriting it said,

Susan and John Anderson

1329 Aspen Hallow Court

Westerville, Ohio 43234

I mentally pulled a map of Columbus from my head. Westerville was a large suburb a fair distance away. I doubted Rafael would drive me or let me use his car. I would have to map out a bus route, and it would take me awhile to get there. I turned on my heel and headed for the warehouse exit.

Rafael followed and grabbed my arm. “Lyla, where are you going?”

I jerked away from him. “I’m going to get Colton and Grace.”

“Get… them?” Rafael repeated slowly.

“Yes!” I snapped, aware that all the Fallen, even Daniel and Damian, were staring at us, watching. “I’m taking them back. Are you going to help me or not?”

“It would be
kidnapping
, Lyla!” Rafael was the one to explode now. “Where are you going to take them, assuming you can even steal them away? If you go home, they will just be taken again. Do you plan to live on the streets?”

“If that’s what it takes!”

“Lyla.” Rafael was clearly battling his temper, trying to rein himself in. I could hear it in the tight control of his voice, see it in his clenched fists and flexed neck muscles. “Can’t you look at this objectively? You have always prayed for safety, and Colton and Grace are
safe
. With another family, they are no longer at risk, they won’t be in danger every day! Maybe you shouldn’t fight this!”

“I
have
to save them!” I shot back. “They are my
family
, Rafael! The only family I have!” I felt my eyes burn and blur, tears tickle the sensitive hairs on my cheeks. “Who do I have without them, Rafael? Without Colton and Grace, I am all alone. I have no one else.” My voice had faded into a broken whisper.

“You have all of us.” The voice was Rachel’s, and both Rafael and I looked over to her. She stood tall and proud next to Matthias, Naomi between them. “We’re your family too,” she continued, sweeping an arm around to the rest of the Fallen. “We won’t leave you, Lyla. You’ll always have a place with us.”

I looked to Rafael. “Is that true?” I whispered to him. “Do I have a place with all of you?”

The color was high in Rafael’s cheeks and a muscle ticked in his jaw. “You know I would
never
leave you alone and helpless,” he said, not completely meeting my eyes.

I nodded slowly. “I see. I have a place
with
all of you, but not
as
one of you. I won’t settle for that, Rafael.” I turned again to leave.

“Just remember, Lyla!” Rafael called after me, ill-concealed anger and maybe even hurt in his voice. “You were the one who left, not me!”

It took a few hard, furious yanks, but I pulled the necklace off and tossed it to the floor behind me. And I left the warehouse.

It took me a full day of COTA bus transfers and walking to reach the address, all day Friday. Just as planned, I had arrived at night, and it was bitterly cold. I didn’t allow myself to think about the fact that the nice thick coat and fuzzy sweater and, of course, the Ugg boots I wore had all been bought by Rafael. No. His name? I made sure it didn’t cross my mind, not once.

Instead I focused on the little elementary school we passed on the bus, with its neat brick walls and “Happy Holidays!” greeting on the signboard. I stared at the large snow-covered park, which was clean and free of graffiti, placed right in the middle of the neighborhood. I reflected how the streetlamps looked like a real, picturesque Christmas village, glowing in the dark against the stark white of the snow. They were even decorated with giant red velvet bows. During all of this, not once did I let my attention wander to
him
.

And then, finally, I was standing before 1329 Aspen Hallow Court. It was a gorgeous house, all gray stone with a cheery red front door, with icicle lights hanging from all the eaves. A candle lamp burned in each of the five front windows, giving the house a surreal feel, the way houses always seemed magical at Christmastime, with lights giving a golden aura. A quick glance around the neighborhood assured me that I was well and truly alone. This wasn’t the sort of neighborhood where people worried about nighttime visitors.

I hurried around to the back door and quietly tested the knob. Finding it locked, I circled back to the front of the house, looking around speculatively. There was no key under the mat or on top of the sill, but I lucked out with the hollow rock in the flowerbed. It didn’t work in the front door, so I walked once more to the back door. This one opened silently; no squeaky door hinges here. Without allowing myself time to think, I darted inside. Shivering as the wonderful warmth hit me, I took stock of my surroundings. There was a large living room to my left, with a giant Christmas tree in the corner, glowing gently. It was already crammed with wrapped presents. My throat tightened when I realized many of them had to be for Colton and Grace.

I jerked my gaze away, refusing to dwell on the tree. To my right was a kitchen with a large island, surfaced with granite countertops and a stainless steel fridge; directly before me, a round dining table accompanied by four chairs. I quickly skirted the table, headed for the small hallway behind it, which led to a flight of stairs. As I went up, I glanced over the banister and saw a piano and fancier dining table, set with china dishes and several more chairs. Quiet as a cat, remembering all the nights I had crept around my dozing parents, I ascended the stairs.

There was one doorway to my left, and I immediately assumed it to be the master bedroom, and was faced with four other doors off to the right. A peek into the first showed an office with cherry wood furniture and computers humming in their hibernation. The second door was a bathroom, and on the third, I struck gold.

It was a large room, with a bizarre decorating scheme where two walls were painted lime green and two were an almost metallic shade of blue. The effect was very strange and somewhat hideous. In the opposite corner where the two colors met, two single beds were pushed up against each wall, corners touching and creating an empty square against the wall corner that had been filled with a nightstand. This arrangement allowed the two children sleeping in the beds to have their heads close together, excellent for sharing late night secrets.

But I hardly noticed the ugly walls or clever sleeping arrangement. Because there, sound asleep in those beds, were my babies. My brother and sister, my whole world. My knees went weak and tears welled in my eyes as I rushed over and fell to my knees next to their beds. I watched my fingers tremble violently as I closed Colton’s snoring mouth and pushed a curl off Gracie’s forehead. They were safe. They were unharmed. And now, they would be gone.