Guardian (31 page)

I hoped she was right, not just for my sake, but for that of Rafael and Colton and Grace and everyone else around me.

Colton, Grace, and I spent a quiet weekend together. On Saturday I dared to use the Hummer that Rafael had left for us and we went to the library for the afternoon, just like old times. Sunday we drove to mass together, but walked to youth group, because I knew it would look odd if I drove up in the Hummer by myself.

By Monday, even though Damian was his usual nice and charming self, I felt lonely and slightly depressed. I hated not having Rafael around. He had become too finely woven into the fabric of my life to be gone so long. Quick, five minute phone calls were not adequate for both lessening how much I missed him and also reassuring me that he actually
was
all right. I was quiet at school, quiet all the way home, and moped around so much that even Colton and Grace asked me what was wrong.

At six, we heard the garage door opening and hustled into our bedroom to stay out of our parents’ way, as they preferred it. They were arguing before they got out of their car. Luckily, Colton and Grace had already had their dinner, and after playing with some of their new toys for a while, they fell asleep on either side of me, heads resting on my shoulders. I wished I could join them, even though it was only about eight o’clock, but was stuck struggling through an endless set of calculus problems.

My phone suddenly rang, startling me in the midst of my peaceful quiet. I pounced on it, knowing who it was even before the caller I.D. confirmed it.

“Rafael?” I asked, practically before I’d put the phone to my ear.

His deep chuckle filled my ear, and I sank ever deeper into my pillows. “Having some trouble with the calculus? That was a pretty deep frown a moment ago.”

“How did you-” I started, and then glanced out my window across the room. My breath caught in my chest, because there he was, standing at the end of my driveway, phone up to his ear. Even though it was dark out, I could see his grin all the way from my bedroom.

With a gasp I flew off my bed and over to the window, throwing it open and climbing over the sill to drop to the ground, not even checking to be sure that Colton and Grace had landed comfortably on the bed. Rafael met me halfway across the yard, his giant strides eating up the distance just as quickly as my run. I threw myself at him, and he caught me as easily as if I was Grace’s size. Even my legs were wrapped around him, and I squeezed tighter, breathing in the scent that was all uniquely Rafael; fresh and clean, the scent of the sky. Rafael squeezed me in return, so hard I was sure my bones would splinter, but I didn’t care.

“I missed you, I missed you,” I said, over and over again. “I was so worried about you.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” he replied, reassuring, rubbing a comforting hand up and down my back. “I’m safe. I was worried about you, too.”

After another minute or so, he gently lowered me down, taking my face into his hands and examining me carefully.

“I’m all right, too,” I tried to reassure him, and now I couldn’t stop smiling because my relief had given way to happiness that Rafael was finally back. He was safe, and he was back here with me, and we could go back to normal, back to being able to see each other every day, back to me not feeling afraid because Rafael wasn’t just a phone call away. “I just missed you. Damian is quite the charmer, but he’s certainly no replacement for you.”

“And Orpah isn’t quite as fascinating a conversationalist as you,” Rafael said with a quiet smile, the one I had missed so much the past week. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear and I shivered a little.

That was when he noticed I was standing outside in the November chill, barefoot, in flannel pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt. “Lyla!” he scolded, before scooping me up in his arms and carrying me easily back to my window and hoisting me through it. I scurried over to the dresser and pulled on a thick pair of socks, and when I turned around, Rafael was already inside my room, quietly pulling the window shut against the cold night air.

I stood watching him for a long moment, smiling stupidly as I studied him. Rafael looked no different: the same dark hair and features, same piercing green-violet eyes, dressed in almost-black jeans and the achingly familiar black t-shirt and leather jacket. He straightened from tucking Colton and Grace into their respective beds, kissing each of them on the forehead.

For just a moment, it expanded into a daydream, a vision of what I had always really wanted, pictured for my ideal life: Rafael coming home to me after a business trip, kissing me, his wife, and then coming in to say goodnight to our kids while I watched from the doorway. Then maybe we would go out to the living room and sit on the couch with his arms around me while I told him everything that had happened while he was gone. Then Rafael turned to face me and reality came crashing down on me.

“Can Fallen have children?” I blurted, not sure from where the idea had even come.

Rafael blinked for a moment in surprise, and then cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Well, uh, Matthias and Rachel have, abstained, in a sense. They don’t want to take any kind of chance on that kind of thing until the matter of Naomi can be resolved. But I have, well, there have been stories…” he trailed off.

“And the children?” I asked, trying not to sound as anxious as I felt. “Are they like you? Are they angels?”

“Are they condemned, you mean?” Rafael asked cynically, harshly. “Born into this life without a choice as to whether they even wanted it? Yes, yes they are. Why anyone would want to bring a life into this world only to make it suffer that way is beyond me.”

I stared at Rafael. I had seen his temper unleashed many times
for
me, whenever I was in danger, but it always shocked and unsettled me when he directed it
at
me.

“I-I’m sorry,” I said quickly, crossing my arms in a protective maneuver. “Rafael, I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just curious-”

Rafael crossed the room and hugged me tightly once more, pressing my head against his chest. “You did nothing wrong, Lyla,” he whispered, sounding regretful. “
I’m
sorry. I shouldn’t have answered you like that.”

“It’s all right,” I whispered, feeling rather pathetic that I didn’t mind the small argument because it had caused Rafael to hug me again.

“Daniel and Matthias return tomorrow afternoon,” Rafael said, finally stepping away once more. “We’ll be meeting to discuss what we found. Do you want to come?”

“Of course I do, but…” I trailed off and looked to Colton and Grace.

Rafael hesitated, and then looking as though it was completely against his better judgment, asked, “What if I picked you up from school at lunchtime?”

Normally, I would never have agreed. I would have put school unerringly first. But I wanted to
see
Rafael again, as soon as possible, and I really did want to hear the news about the Fallen and their hunt.

“Okay,” I said, without any hesitation. “I’ll see you outside school at noon, then?”

Rafael nodded, and headed for the window. I followed, as though I was walking him to the door.

“Goodbye, Lyla,” he said, one hand on the window.

I smiled up at him, again just glad at the simple fact that he was back. “Goodbye, Rafael.”

He leaned forward and placed one large hand on the back of my head, pulling me a little closer to him so he could kiss me on the forehead. And then he was gone, so quickly I missed it. I almost would have believed the whole thing was a dream, except a chilly wind from the window being opened and shut so quickly hit me, and I shivered. I dove into my bed and under the quilt, snuggling up to Grace, who was ablaze with warmth. Even though I had goose bumps and my teeth were chattering a little, I couldn’t help but grin to myself as I turned out the light, homework completely forgotten. Rafael was back. He was
back
.

The next day I couldn’t seem to pay attention to anything. My notes were all incomplete, scrawled illegibly, and I never once raised my hand to answer a question in class. Instead, I kept thinking of the jeans, boots, and long sleeved plaid shirt inside my backpack, safely in my locker. When the lunch bell rang I flew out of my desk and to my locker, pulling out my backpack and sprinting, well, walking quickly, to the girls restroom. I changed quickly, stuffing my jumper unceremoniously into my backpack before leaving the bathroom. I thought I had made a clean escape until I ran into Natalie at the school doors. We stopped and stared at one another, while I scrambled to think of something to say.

“Where are you going?” Natalie asked at last.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Hummer waiting for me at the curb. No way would Natalie miss seeing me jump inside it.

“Out…to lunch,” I said quickly. “With Rafael.” It was partially the truth. Rafael would undoubtedly have food for me, or plans to pick some up on the way.

“Oh,” Natalie said, and then looked me over strangely. “You changed just for lunch?”

“Does
anyone
actually look good in our uniform?” I asked with a small laugh.

A smile finally blossomed on Natalie’s face. “Only you and me, duh,” she said with a laugh. “See you. Have fun.” She hugged me and then walked away to the cafeteria.

I breathed a heavy sigh of relief and ran out to the car. Lying by omission wasn’t much better than actually lying, but I didn’t have any afternoon classes with Natalie and so I was hoping I would simply be back to get Colton and Grace by the time school let out, with no one the wiser.

I opened the door of the car and threw my backpack into the backseat and then hoisted myself up next to Rafael. Predictably, his first words after “Hello” were “What do you want for lunch?” We stopped and got fast food before continuing on to the warehouse. Just as we pulled in to the underground parking lot, I saw two figures high overhead that looked like birds at first glance, but upon a closer look were much too big.

“Daniel and Matthias,” Rafael said, catching my look as we parked next to a sleek black Mercedes coupe. I recognized Damian’s flashy red car and the Saab as well, once I stepped out of the Hummer and headed for the stairs, Rafael at my side.

As soon as I entered the large top room, Naomi shrieked and ran for me, clutching my legs. I laughed and detached her, balancing my food and drink in one hand and taking her small fingers in the other, leading her over to the table so she could sit next to me. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I unwrapped the sandwich Rafael had bought me, since everyone was sitting around the big table with a somber air about them. Rafael stood in front of his chair, but didn’t sit down. Instead he rested his palms on the surface of the elegant cherry wood table and looked to Matthias and Daniel.

“We didn’t find anything,” he said bluntly, and at his other side, Orpah nodded in agreement. “Perhaps more demons than usual. We think they were either passing through to Columbus or just waiting in the wings to see if whatever they think is about to happen will spread. We fought quite of few of them, but we couldn’t find out anything. None of them would speak to us.”

It was Matthias’s turn to stand up, and his face was grim and looked more lined than usual. All of the Fallen looked to be an indeterminate age of between twenty-five to thirty-five, young in body but mature in their mannerisms and especially their eyes. But today Matthias actually looked
old
. I noticed that Rachel had covered one of his hands, resting on the table, with her own.

“We saw Sadie and Abram,” Matthias said quietly.

A collective sort of gasp-hush noise circled round the table like a wave, and Daniel nodded sagely. “It’s true,” he agreed. “We ran into them our very last day there, it’s why we were later than agreed upon to return.”

“Were you able to…
talk
to them?” Sara asked, sounding apprehensive.

Matthias hesitated, and then nodded. “Just for a moment. They wouldn’t tell us anything solid, of course, but Sadie said we should leave Columbus and let everything be. I asked if something was going to happen there, and they said probably not, but some
one
might come out of that city. We’d be doing more good if we went elsewhere, or even better, joined them once and for all.”

Everyone did gasp then, and I was sure I saw Rachel’s mouth move as she closed her eyes, to mutter a prayer of thanks that Matthias had come back, undoubtedly. I looked up at Rafael, now glad that he hadn’t been the one to run into Sadie and Abram. I had every faith that he wouldn’t have joined them. I knew it without a doubt, but I also knew that seeing his old friend trying to recruit other Fallen would have brought on a huge wave of guilt that wasn’t his to carry.