GRIT (The Silver Nitrate Series Book 2) (3 page)

“Taking a four or five year old to a Broadway play, but he did it… said he wanted me to experience culture. He told his father, my Paw… to take me to some of the council meetings and parties, ’cause he knew Paw was a drummer, naturally. My father was one of the few dads up at the school for PTA meetings and events, Silver. He was heavily involved in my life from day one. Paw told me he was so happy to have a child, a son, that I meant everything to him. I felt loved by him and my mother… and I remember that feeling. I remember that love. I just… I just couldn’t believe in retrospect, after it was all said and done, that this could happen… to
us
.

“This was supposed to happen to scummy people, to criminals, liars, and whores. I never told you, but as soon as I realized I was in love with you, I panicked for a minute. I didn’t panic because I was in love, I freaked out because of what love can do… I panicked because I wondered if once you realized I loved you, if you’d leave or try to hurt me, play games, mess with my head. I couldn’t tell you that though, that’s not being strong… that’s not being fearless. So, I kept it in. And it all comes from this, from what happened to me, Silver. The perfect marriage had been destroyed. Was I next? Was it some curse? That’s crazy, right?”

Silver’s brows bunched and an uneasiness he couldn’t erase came into the room like some invisible phantom. The door of vulnerability had been swung wide open, and out rolled a punishment, dressed in Truth’s Sunday best.

“But then, I thought about my mother.” He shrugged. “And I thought about Mawmaw, and a lot of my teachers. I tried to believe that all women were inherently created to destroy a man, and this is why this happened to my family… ’cause if Dad hadn’t fucked a slut, our family would still be intact. It was juvenile thinking; I was very young when I was going through all of this, so I know it wasn’t right…worked through. Like, the fact that… that she wasn’t a slut ’cause she had AIDS. That don’t make someone a ho. You can get HIV from your first time fuckin’. Or maybe you shared a needle after trying heroin for the first time, too. It only takes one time, you know? No, I never really thought about it like that, ’cause I know people who have it, people I care about, and many of them weren’t out sleeping with everybody. Nah, see, she was a slut to me, a whore, because she
knew
my father was married and he had a kid. But, she didn’t care. She wanted him anyway and didn’t bother about the consequences.

“That’s what made me hate her, Silver. That’s what changed everything. How could she smile in my mother’s face and sleep with my father, knowing she had a life-threatening disease? I felt like, if she could do that, what
else
were women capable of? I hate telling you this… I know how fucked up it sounds. You think I’m fucked up now, don’t you?” He felt ashamed… so very ashamed. But it was a part of his honesty, the underbelly of his reality.

“Yeah, but I understand how you could get to the conclusions you arrived at. That’s messed up; the whole story is. It’s terrible, and I can’t even think of the right words really, to describe what I think right now. I’m not judging you, Zenith. It wasn’t me who went through this.
You
did.”

“A part of me never forgot that…the mistrust. It’s a little warped, it is. A little crazy… but I couldn’t help it.” He suddenly felt a chill again, and soon realized that frigidness seemed to be embodied
inside
of him… a part of his very being.

“Zenith,” Silver said his name on a deep sigh. “You were a young child and traumatized. You lost both parents; you were told one thing but it was another and then the details of the mess made it all the worse. The people you thought you knew, you didn’t know at all. You were overthinking things probably, trying to make sense of craziness and the dark side of human behavior. Basically, your first introduction to how relationships work was that nothing is as it seems, men cheat, women lie, and people die if they fall in love. That’s what you saw. Who would be okay after that?” He nodded, catching her drift.

She understands me like no other. This is why she can’t go anywhere.

“But no matter how much I tried to think about it, to figure it all out, it still didn’t make much sense. I wanted to blame my father, right? I still do… yeah, I do.” He closed his eyes, and his father’s face flashed before him. He shivered ever so slightly, trying to shake the dark eyes and even darker haired image free from his mind. “But that comes and goes, too, because I couldn’t let the great memories go. But he had to pay… somebody had to pay for this. I decided to try and punish him, Silver.”

“How so?”

“By not remembering him, not talking about him, and not allowing others around me to talk about him, either. You asked me to break my promise to myself, and I didn’t want to. I don’t like promises because people lie, don’t tell the truth, but that was one I planned to keep. After I learned the truth, I didn’t want his memory to be preserved—not by me, not by anyone. He deserved no legacy. He deserved no son. He deserved
nothing
.”

Silver took a deep breath and wrapped her arm around his waist. He drew closer to her, and they simply stared at one another.

“…And you still haven’t said his name.”

Damn. She’s right.

“Degan. His name was Degan Taylor, Silver. I might go to a meeting with you one day, okay?”

“Okay.” She smiled sadly, then laid a soft kiss upon his lips.

He briefly hung his head, before seeking her face again.

“I love you so much…”

“I know you do. I love you too, Zenith.”

“I never really thought about settling down too much until recently. I figured, if the time comes, it comes. And then I felt resentful, because I wanted to be in love sometimes, but other times I didn’t. It’s like I was purposefully picking the wrong women, and then, I just didn’t care. I pushed it out of my mind, and just lived my life. I still would have not thought about it as much though, had it not been for you. You made me want you, Silver. You made me learn to trust again. Like you said, you’ve been nothing but honest with me, loved me, been there for me. So yeah, I wanna settle down, now. But not just with anyone. I want that with
you.
” He caressed the side of her face, then turned away, withdrew inside of his thoughts once more.

“I’ve never been able to sit by someone and just,” he covered his knee with his hand, rubbing it hard and bunching his jeans as his nerves caused his temperature to rise. “Just… do this, you know? Just talk about shit from the heart. I feel like I fell in love with a best friend.” He caressed the side of her face. “Like we’d known each other for years and decided to get together, just like my parents had. Nothing about this feels new…none of it. Maybe I knew you in a past life or somethin’?” He frowned in thought while craving this woman sitting next to him.

“It doesn’t, does it? It doesn’t feel new to me, either.” She rested her forehead against his as she stroked his right jawbone in a feathery motion. “I can mess around with you, argue and tease you like a best friend… and then we get together and vibe. We kiss, we talk, we walk around, fall asleep next to one another, and make fun of one another like ain’t a damn thing changed… and it feels so natural.”

“That’s
exactly
what I’m talking about. This is going to sound mad corny, but…” He hesitated, biting his lip, then flashing a goofy grin.

“What?” Her eyes glistened with mischief as she urged him to go on.

“I knew the first time I saw you, I wanted you.”

“I know. Who doesn’t?” She burst out laughing, causing him to do the same.

“Not just sex, but there was just something about you. You’re different; you stood out in the crowd. Even before you ever said a word to me, I was so into you. My attraction to you was so damn strong. You didn’t even notice but a hell of a lot of guys were lookin’ at you that night… That made me uneasy, ’cause it meant they saw what I saw, too… and if they saw what I saw, then they were going to make their move. I couldn’t have that; I wanted to be first…and last.”

“Maybe I
did
notice them…” She smirked. “I was just in my zone.” He laughed softly as he ran his hand against the side of her neck. Her skin felt smoother than freshly blown glass. She kept her dark gaze on him, and in that second, he could see her opening like a black rose, petal after petal, exposing her vulnerability.

…They could be messed up together…

“We are so much alike, yet we’ve got some differences too. It’s nice, you know?” He stated on a hitched breath.

She smiled up at him and rubbed her nose against his before placing a quick kiss on his smiling mouth.

“It’s…” He placed one hand on her shoulder and the other around her waist. Trailing the side of her face with a downy touch of his lips, he then explored up and down her temple, planting wet kisses along her skin. And as he did, the ice within him started to melt, her sighs putting the final nail in the coffin of his anger. “…So nice.” He lay her down across her red and cream striped sheets, resting a palm against her plump breast. Massaging the soft globe, he went for the other as he looked into her eyes on occasion, his engine revving from deep within. And from the way she was breathing, her motor purred, too. Oh yes, he was ready to take her on a ride of a lifetime…

Silver’s legs hung over the full-sized bed, and he wasted not another second getting between her hot thighs. Reaching for her t-shirt, he lifted the thing while she assisted, until it was up and over her head. Her perfectly coiffed afro puff, lined with soft baby hair around her temples, was now in disarray, just as he liked it…

Scooting her further up with a strong two-fisted grip, he positioned her just so and she moaned into his ear. He rose up onto his knees, went for his belt buckle, and quickly removed the thing, slinging it to the ground and causing a loud thud. Rising onto her elbows, she watched the strip show commence. His slightly baggy jeans fell to the ground. He reached for the top button of her pants, making quick work of undoing them and the zipper, and jerking them down her long, shapely legs. He paused to trail a slow hand up and down her calves, savoring the softness of her body once more.

“Hold up,” she whispered. “I have a surprise for you.” With a wink, she crawled across the bed, her light blue boy short panties riding up her sexy thighs, tickling his curiosity. She pushed a few buttons on her small bedroom stereo system as he sat back and watched her make a musical selection.

Kongos’ ‘Come With Me Now’ played through her Bose speakers.

Zenith burst out laughing as he toyed a bit with the chain around his neck, twisting it between his thumb and forefinger. “You remembered, huh? Yeah, the crowds seem to like when we do this song. You like Kongos, now?”

“They’re pretty good, yeah… I bought some of their stuff off iTunes.” She crawled back towards him on all fours.

“That’s a good look…” Snatching her ankle, eyes narrowed on her, he forced her to him fast, making her scream and squirm in a sexy, abandoned sort of way. “Mmmm…” He kissed her, hard and demanding, then pulled her bra straps down over her shoulders until the thing became no more than a lacey memory. She writhed against him, bucking his authority as he took control, made her bend and move just as he wanted her to. Tossing her halfhearted resistance aside, he immediately enveloped her hard, dark nipple into his mouth, falling in love with the sensation of the fleshy bud pushing against his rolling tongue. Her fingers dug into his hair, exploring, occasionally going deeper, massaging his scalp as he enjoyed her, took her apart, piece by piece, adoring and possessing her completely. He switched to the other breast, providing similar handling while he lightly played with the wet nipple that had just left his mouth.

“I love your tits… damn,” he said in a semi-muffled voice as he sucked a bit harder, loving how her fingers felt in his hair when she applied a bit more pressure. She got a tad bit rougher, undoubtedly making a tangled mess of his tresses.

“I love how you suck them.”

Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pulled him closer to her as if wanting to fuse their bodies. His dick thickened at the sensation of her taut stomach against his. Reluctantly bringing the sucking session to a close, he jumped to his feet, removed his gray and white-checkered boxer briefs, and cast them onto the floor. His dick stood straight out, pointing to her pussy just in case he’d lost the map and forgotten his way. The woman’s eyes roamed until her sight landed right there. In a quick blur, she was reaching for her damn panties, and practically tore them off. John Newman’s ‘Losing Sleep’ began to play for them.

“Damn, you’ve been paying good attention, haven’t you?”

“Of course I have.”

Pure Grit had played the cover of the famous song a few times, and apparently he had a new fan. He’d been certain these small details had gone over her head, but he was wrong. Silver couldn’t possibly have an inclination, a half of a clue as to how much harder it made him fall in love with her.

You’re mine now… just try and escape… you can’t, baby…

He looked at her up and down like some damn buffet until he came to a decision on what to devour first. Climbing closer above her, he lay on his side opposite to her, with his face directly at her feet. Casting a peek up her way, their gaze intertwined. He took notice of her curious expression. There she was at the headboard, on her side, and there he was in the opposite direction… but their souls were on the same page, interwoven like braided wire cables to amplify an intense beat. With light touches up and down her soft limbs, he felt the buttery soft, dark skin he nicknamed, ‘Desire’—all his for the taking. He took his sweet time, climbing higher and higher until he’d arrived at the valley of life.

Sliding his hand between her warm, closed thighs, he widened the gap, exposing her bare pussy. On a swallow, he calmed his nerves as his excitement grew to fever pitch. He curled his body around her, and soon, she understood, for she did the same. Silver took hold of his cock with a gentle squeeze as he delivered light licks up and down her pussy slit, the slick wetness calling him by name. Grinding against each other’s mouth, they began to mirror each other, becoming one as they sucked, licked, and devoured each other’s love. He glided his hand over her hip, eating her upside down until he crisscrossed his wrists against the small of her back and cupped her ass, pulling her closer to his mouth.