Grievous Sin (6 page)

“No…” Decker shook his head. “No, it’s not a problem.” He felt his eyes go wet and shut them a moment. When he opened them, the horror hadn’t gone away. “What…what do I say…?”

“I’ll tell her. That’s my job.”

Again Decker shook his head. “I can do it.”

“Peter, I’m sure in your line of work, you have had to deliver a fair share of bad news. Let me be the bad guy.”

“No, I can’t…I can do it.” Decker looked down, then looked up. “When should I tell her?”

Hendricks sighed loudly. “If you insist on doing this, I suggest you mention it to her as soon as she has some of her strength back. I’ll let you know when her blood count stabilizes.”

Decker lowered his head and nodded.

“She’s a strong woman, Peter. She’s going to recover very quickly. The actual operation was…God, how do I say this without sounding like an insensitive jerk?” Hendricks paused. “The operation itself was routine. Rina’s ovaries were left intact, so hormonally, she’ll be as regulated as any other woman her age. And she’ll be able to nurse. Just as soon as she’s stabilized, she’ll recover in a snap.”

“I love her so much,” Decker whispered. “She’s going to be devastated.”

“And you?”

“Truthfully, I’m not feeling too good, Doc.” Again Decker dragged his hand over his face. “But I’ll be fine. It’s Rina…”

“It’s a loss, Peter,” Hendricks said. “Not like a death of a baby, thank God—” He caught himself. “You already went through that with your first wife, didn’t you?”

Decker nodded.

“That must have been hell. This is hell, too. Something you both are going to grieve over. There’s no getting around it. If you’re determined to tell her yourself, I won’t stop you. But if you need anything, pick up the phone, call the exchange, and say it’s an emergency. I’m here for both of you. For Rina and you and for the family—the boys, the grandparents. Just give me a call.”

All Decker could do was nod.

“I’ve ordered a cot for you next to Rina.” Hendricks stood. “Try to get some rest, all right?”

“Thank you.” Slowly, Decker got to his feet. “I’ve got to talk to my daughter.”

“It can wait until the morning.”

“I want to do it now.”

“Peter, it can wait.” Hendricks put his arm around Decker’s shoulder. “Go to sleep. Doctor’s orders.”

“I’ve got to tell Rina’s parents—”

“Don’t tell them anything before you’ve told Rina.”

“No, not this.” Decker was finding it hard to talk, hard to speak without choking. “I promised I’d call them as soon as Rina was out of recovery…tell them she’s okay. They must be worried sick.”

Hendricks turned out the lights. “I’ll call them for you. Give me the number.”

It took Decker a few seconds to remember the order of the digits. “You’ll tell them Rina’s doing okay?”

“Yes, I will. Because Rina
is
recovering well.” Hendricks pulled out keys from his pants and locked the door. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to the ICU.”

Decker didn’t argue. He felt like a child being put to bed. He didn’t want to go, but he was just too exhausted to protest.

Cindy woke up
with a start, her body pinched from sleeping in a chair. Beside her was Hannah’s layette, the baby lying on her stomach, eyes closed, the little pink face molded into the mattress. It had been almost three hours, and Hannah hadn’t uttered a peep. A big kid, her birth weight almost nine pounds, she probably had a bigger stomach than most of the other infants. Good for her and lucky for Rina. Hannah would probably sleep through the night at an early age.

The wall clock said 1:05, and Cindy assumed it was
A.M.
For how brightly lit the nursery was, it could have been
P.M
. Kind of like the Vegas casino she had visited a year ago—a fixed internal environment that scorned the passage of time. She stood and stretched and crossed over the yellow line to the nurses’ station. Through the glass, Cindy could see Darlene talking animatedly to a big-boned black woman, waving her arms as if conducting. Cindy knocked on the door. Darlene looked up and beckoned her in.

“Hi,” Cindy said.

“Take off your mask,” Darlene said. “Can’t understand a darn thing with that on. Everyone sounds like they’re talkin’ with marbles in their mouth. How’s your sister doing? Did you feed her yet?”

“She’s still sleeping,” Cindy said.

“You let her sleep past her twelve o’clock feeding? Uh-oh, Mom’s not going to like
that.
Gotta get her on a schedule. What kind of marine are you, anyway?”

There was a sparkle in Darlene’s eyes, a gentle tease in her smile. Cindy smiled back. “Should I feed her?”

“Well, since you already messed her up, you might as well let her wake up naturally. You first-time big sisters just can’t do a darn thing right.” The head nurse glanced at her watch, then turned back to her heavyset charge. “Lily, start wheelin’ the babies back into the nursery from their twelve o’clock feeding. Do rooms three-fifteen through three-thirty. I’ll do the rest. Be sure to check the chart and see who has rooming in. Don’t take the rooming-in babies back.”

“I won’t,” Lily said solemnly.

Darlene said, “But do check in and see if everything’s okay. Any questions?”

Lily gave a nervous smile. “Not a one!”

“Then either I’m doing something very right or something very wrong,” Darlene said. “And relax, Lily. Try to have some fun. As long as you’re doin’ some work.”

“Thanks a lot, ma’am.” Lily laughed anxiously and turned to Cindy. “She’s a real slave driver.”

“Is that nice, Nurse Booker?” Darlene pouted. “After all I’ve done for you?”

“But a real nice slave driver,” Lily said. “Watch out for her when you’re a trainee.”

“A trainee?” Cindy asked.

“Darlene has big plans for you.”

Cindy laughed but was confused.

“Nurse Booker, kindly remove yourself and go do some work,” Darlene said.

“Yes sir, ma’am.” Lily saluted, waved at Cindy, then left.

Cindy waved back, watching a big rear fill out the backside of her uniform. Despite Lily’s girth and size, she looked young—early twenties, maybe. Probably a recent graduate of nursing school, and this was her first real job.

“She seems really nice,” Cindy said to Darlene.

“She’s going to be a darn good nurse,” Darlene said. “Know why? ’Cause she’s conscientious and
caring.
She worked herself up from
nothing
, ’cause her dream was to help people. Shows what you can do when the motivation is there. Have you ever thought of nursing as a career, Cindy? You seem pretty darn caring yourself.”

Cindy felt heat in her cheeks. Seemed like Lily and Darlene had been doing some talking. “I haven’t made up my mind yet, but I’m leaning toward criminal sciences.”

Darlene made a face. “The nursing profession could use caring people. Think about it.” She straightened her spine and did a few arm circles. “You calling it quits tonight, you slacker?”

Again Cindy smiled. “I thought I’d just wait until Hannah wakes up so I could feed her. Then I thought I’d go home. Maybe come back later in the morning. Is that okay?”

“Okay by me, kid. Just don’t get in Marie’s way.”

Cindy frowned. “Marie’s going to be on shift again?”

“Doing the three-to-eleven, plus all night here with me—double duty. The other night charge nurse is taking the night off.” Darlene furrowed her brows. “Marie’s a
good
nurse, Cindy. Very dedicated and patient with the moms and the babies. She just doesn’t have a lot of leftover patience for anyone else, especially young kids like yourself who’re self-confident and able-bodied. You’re gonna have to learn to deal with all sorts of people in your life.”

“I don’t say a word to her,” Cindy said. “I try to mind my own business. She just doesn’t like me hanging around Hannah.”

“You know how to bake?” Darlene asked.

“Yes.”

“Tell you what, Cindy. When you come back, bring her some home-baked chocolate-chip cookies. Marie’ll appreciate the gesture. That’s all she wants. A little appreciation.”

“Hey, if that’s all it takes, I’ll even wrap them up in a basket with ribbon.”

Darlene said, “I gotta go fetch some babies, start doing my blood work.”

Cindy drew her paper-covered foot across the ground. “Was my dad around here at all?”

“’Bout an hour ago. I told him you were with Hannah and both of you were asleep.”

“I should go let him know I’m alive.” She looked at the clock. “I think I could make it back and forth before Hannah wakes up.”

“Probably,” Darlene said. “Hon, do me a favor. Before you go, check and make sure Angela or Chris is in the back room. Nursery C and D called them away ’bout an hour ago ’cause we’re so short-staffed. Budget cuts. Seems the whole nursing staff is a few old-timers and a bunch of temps who don’t know a darn thing. I told them they could float for a while, but sometimes when you get busy, people forget to look at the clock. Someone should be in the nursery at all times.”

“And if they’re not?”

“Wait for me, and I’ll call someone in.”

“I can visit my father later. Do you want me to wait here until you’re done wheeling back the babies?”

Darlene wrinkled her nose as she thought. “If you wouldn’t mind, that would be convenient. All these budget cuts…make you wonder if hospitals are really for patients anymore.” She clucked her tongue and handed Cindy her beeper. “Just push the red button if you think you got an emergency. I’ll be right on the floor.”

“No problem,” Cindy said. “Do you want me to check in on the other babies?”

“Only if you want to visit,” Darlene said. “Thanks for your help, Cindy. And think about nursing, missy. You’re a natural.”

Cindy’s eyes went to the ceiling. “Uh, I’ll be with Hannah. See if she’s awake and ready to eat.”

As Cindy started to leave, Darlene called out her name. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“What?” Cindy asked.

Darlene pointed to her face mask.

“Sorry.” Cindy slipped the mask over her mouth and nose and tied the strings. “Better?”

Darlene frowned, then broke into a big grin. “You either said ‘better’ or ‘butter.’ Yes, it is better—or, no we don’t have any butter.”

Bottle in hand, Cindy heard the knock and looked around. Darlene and Lily were still out fetching the babies. Cindy looked down at the bundle in her arms. Hannah had closed her eyes, a small line of drool creasing a perfect chin. She needed to be burped, and Cindy wanted to do it before her sister was deep asleep. But someone kept hammering away at the nursery door. The noise was no doubt disturbing the other babies. Carefully, Cindy lay Hannah in her layette and went to the front part of the nursery. Through the glass windows, she saw her father. His face was ravaged with exhaustion, his eyes lolling in their sockets. Quickly, she opened the door.

“Are you all right?” She started toward him, then moved back. “I can’t hug you, ’cause I’m all suited up.”

“S’right.” Decker was having trouble focusing. “I just woke up and realized I hadn’t seen you yet. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine, Daddy. Go back to sleep.”

“What’re you doing?”

“I just finished feeding Hannah. She needs to be burped. If you want to do it, you’ll have to put on a gown. You can’t cross that yellow line unless you have a gown on.”

Decker took a step away from the walless barrier. “I’d love to burp her, except I’m so tired I’m afraid I’d drop her. How’s she doing?”

“Great.”

Decker felt himself smiling. It must have been a reflex, because every muscle in his face was too numb to move voluntarily. “Thanks for taking care of her. As soon as Mrs. Elias comes here, I want you to go home and get some rest. I know you teens think you’re immortal, but you need sleep.”

Cindy stared at her father. “It’s not because you think I’m too attached to Hannah, is it?”

Decker paused. “Who gave you that idea?”

“Nurse Bellson,” Cindy said. “She thinks I am. She’s worried I’m going to feel jealous when Rina’s well enough to take care of Hannah. It’s not true. I’m only trying to help.”

“I know you are.”

“So you’re not upset with me?”

“No, sweetheart. I love you very much. Just if you could try to avoid butting heads with the staff—”

“You mean Nurse Bellson?”

“If that’s who you’re butting heads with, then yes, get along with Nurse Bellson. Even if it’s her problem.”

“Daddy, you’re dropping on your feet. You look real sick. I think you should sit down.”

“No, I’m okay.” Decker stifled a yawn. “I have to get back to Rina.”

“How is she?”

“Still sleeping.” Decker forced his eyes open. “Cynthia, I really do appreciate all your help. But you
do
need your rest.”

“Look, if you want me to go home now—”

“No.” Decker was surprised by the sudden strength of his voice. “No, you can wait until Mrs. Elias gets here. If you don’t mind.”

Cindy looked quizzically at her father. “Where did that come from?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why do you want me to wait for Mrs. Elias?” Cindy widened her eyes. “You don’t trust Nurse Bellson either, do you, Daddy? Do you have something on her?”

Despite his fatigue, Decker laughed. “You’ve been watching too many bad movies, sweetheart.”

“You’re not being honest with me, Daddy. Why don’t you trust her?”

Decker sighed. “It’s not Marie Bellson. It’s the night nurse, Darlene—”

“
Darlene?
She’s a living angel.”

“Cindy, she left the babies alone to walk me to the elevator.”

“Are you sure, Daddy? Maybe there was someone in back, and you didn’t notice.”

“Oh.” Decker hesitated. “Shows you what I know. Is there someone in back now?”

It was Cindy’s turn to hesitate. “Well, Darlene kind of told me to wait for her
specifically
because she didn’t want the babies left alone. She and Lily—that’s her newest trainee—they were collecting the babies from the moms after the twelve o’clock feeding. It’s taking a little longer because Darlene volunteered to help out in the adjoining nursery. They’ve been shorthanded lately ’cause of budget cuts.”

“So Darlene left
you
in charge?”

Cindy’s eyes went to the ceiling. “She’s right here on the floor, Daddy. I have her beeper, but it isn’t even necessary. She comes back every few minutes. Says she’ll finish up real soon. She’s doing the best she can.”

“Cindy, you’re a peach, but Darlene doesn’t know that. You could be
anybody.
Did you ever see Marie leave the babies alone?”

Cindy shook her head. “I guess Darlene is very trusting.”

“It’s dumb. She’s asking for a tragedy and a lawsuit.” Decker put his hands in his pockets. “I’m very grateful that you’re watching Hannah. And truthfully, yes, Marie does tweak my nose. If Rina weren’t so…so laid-up, I’d check my whole family out of here. But as of now, I’m stuck. So if Mrs. Elias wants to take over for you for a while,
let
her. Marie’ll probably be more tolerant of her than you.”

“I ask you, Daddy, is that right?”

“No, it isn’t right, but frankly I don’t care. I’m looking for what’ll work. So help me out. You can come back when Mrs. Elias has to go home to tend to the boys. Okay?”

Cindy nodded.

“And please don’t make
problems.
I want you here in the nursery, Cindy, because I
do
trust you.”

“Thanks, Dad. It’s nice to hear that.”

“You’re welcome.” Decker rubbed his eyes. “Go burp your sister. Give her a kiss for me. Tell her I love her and hope to burp her very soon.”

“She’ll be waiting for you, Dad. Sorry if I’m being a bit of a pain.”

“Nah, you’re never a pain. You’re a great kid, Cynthia. The best. God knows, your mother and I have had differences, but she did a fabulous job.”

“You had a little to do with it.”

“Not as much as I should have.” Decker raised his brow. “Probably why you turned out so good.”