Grievous Sin (4 page)

Cindy wiggled her
fingers at the pink bundle with the saucer eyes, thinking the witch had purposely put the baby all the way in back. But it didn’t matter. Baby Girl Decker was so big and alert, she’d be visible wherever she was. The two layettes that abutted hers belonged to Baby Girl Rodriguez and Spencer Dole. BG Rodriguez was a teeny little thing with a head no bigger than a navel orange. She had thick black hair and wrinkled skin. Spencer had a fat, squat face and howled constantly. But BG Decker seemed unbothered by her roommates’ perplexities, preferring to drool on her paper bedsheet while trying to suck her thumb.

The nursery was a full house tonight—layettes filled with whites, blacks, Hispanics, and one Asian named Baby Boy Yamata who never cried. Rows of innocent babies out of Central Casting. Baby Girl Decker was living in a veritable pint-sized UN. A moment passed, then Baby Girl Jackson, representing the African-American contingent, opened a toothless mouth and let out a silent wail.

Nose to the glass, Cindy made silly faces at her sister, wishing she could hold her, hoping that Nurse Marie Bellson would go off shift and let her alone. The woman was intimidating, lean with knobby, rakelike fingers. Bellson was a deciduous tree in the wintertime—thin and barren.
She had a way of making you feel guilty even if you hadn’t done anything.

Cindy’s eyes moved to the wall clock—visiting hours were almost over. She knew she’d have to leave any minute. As if to prove herself correct, she saw Bellson come out of the nursery. The woman was pure no-nonsense. She wore little makeup, and practical jewelry—a class ring, two gold stud earrings and a gold cross above her uniform breast pocket. She had attractive eyes, though—bright green spotted with brown. They’d be even prettier if they didn’t look so angry. Cindy put on her nicest smile.

“One more minute?”

Bellson shook her head. “You’re getting too attached to the baby. You’re her sister, not her mother.” She flicked her wrist. “Visiting hours are officially over. Good night.”

Cindy sighed, looked down the hallway, then broke into a grin. “That’s my father and my stepmother’s family.”

Bellson put her hands on her hips and shook her head again. Cindy jogged down the corridor and gave her father a bear hug.

“Rina’s okay?”

Decker linked arms with his daughter. “She’s out of surgery. Sammy gave her a pint of blood, God bless him.”

“But everything’s okay?”

“Not out of the woods yet, but I feel a lot better than I did an hour ago.”

“You look beat, Dad. You need rest.”

Decker knew she was right, but that was immaterial. He wasn’t going
anywhere
until he saw Rina. “Are you our personal escort?”

“Absolutely, if Bellson doesn’t kick us out. She just told me to leave.” Cindy frowned. “Here comes the Wicked Witch of the West now.”

A thin woman in white approached them. She had surface wrinkles trailing down the corners of her eyes and mouth and a set of wavy lines across her forehead—the kind of wrinkles that usually come from overtanning, except this woman held a
proper Victorian pallor. Her hair was clean, but the color was dingy—pipewater from old plumbing. Her eyes were her saving grace—Kelly green sprinkled with coffee brown. They were clear and perceptive. She wasn’t pretty, but she managed to strike an attractive pose. Decker put her age at around forty. She held out her hand, and Decker took it.

“How is your wife, Mr. Decker?” Bellson asked.

“She’s still in Recovery.”

The RN nodded. “We’ve got the best post-op care in the country. So try not to worry. I’ll let you folks take a quick peek at the baby before I boot you out. Not my idea, but the babies are being transferred from the nurseries to their mothers for the ten o’clock feeding. We don’t like outside people in the wings while we’re wheeling them down the foyers. Who knows what kind of bugs they’re harboring.”

Magda said, “We be quick.”

“Come.” Bellson’s walk was brisk. “You’re the grandma? You look too young.” She stopped at the glass window. “She’s all the way in back. I’ll put her in front for you.”

Cindy watched Bellson disappear behind the nursery doors, amazed by the woman’s transformation. From sneers to smiles, she’d become all-accommodating. It made Cindy feel funny. Why was Bellson so mean to her and nice to everyone else? She shrugged. At least Dad was happy. His smile was genuine—first one she’d seen tonight. She went over and leaned her head against his arm. Together, they watched Bellson—who had donned a blue paper gown, gloves, and a face mask—rearrange the layettes until BG Decker was in front. Then the nurse picked her up and gave them a front view of the bundle. Cindy noticed that her father was holding back tears. He’d always been good at damming his emotions. It was one of the reasons why tonight seemed surreal. She had never seen him scared.

She said, “She looks like you, Daddy.”

“No, no, no,” Magda said, rapping gently on the glass. “She look like Ginny, but she has Akiva’s coloring—the red hair and fair skin.”

“Poor kid,” Decker said. “Another lobster in the sun.”

“Suntanning isn’t good for you anyway, Daddy,” Cindy said. “And if that’s not a cheap rationalization…”

“Grandma’s right,” Marge said. “She does look like Rina.”

“Of course she does,” Magda announced. “I’m good at faces. Nu, Stefan, tell them.”

“She’s good at the faces,” her husband stated.

Decker turned to his sons. “What do you think?”

“I think she’s funny-looking,” Jake said. “She’s all red.”

Magda gently hit his arm. “You were red when you were born.”

“No, no, no,” Stefan said. “Yonkie was never red. Shmuli was red.”

Decker regarded his elder stepson, still pale but steady on his feet. He seemed lost, his eyes unfocused. “Are you okay, Sam?”

“Huh?”

Decker put his arm around the boy. “What are you thinking about?”

“I wish I could see
Eema.
You know…just
see
her.”

“Boy, I know how you feel.”

“She’ll be okay, won’t she?”

“Doc assures me she’ll be fine. I believe him, Sammy.”

“When do you think you’ll see her?”

“I don’t know, Sammy. Soon, I hope.”

“Will you call us after you see her?”

“Depends on the time.” Decker hugged his shoulder gently. “I’m not going to call you at three in the morning.”

“No, you
call
us, Akiva,” his mother-in-law said. “I don’t sleep much tonight anyway. You call us as soon as you see Ginny. I want to know.” She wiped her eyes. “Please, you call.”

“I’ll call.”

“Maybe you call Rav Schulman in the morning,” Stefan suggested. “Ginny would want you to call him.”

Decker nodded, thinking it was a good idea. Over the years, the old rabbi had become more than Decker’s teacher,
had become even more than a spiritual adviser. More than anything, Rav Schulman had become a wise and treasured friend. Decker could certainly use a little wisdom now. He watched Marie Bellson resettle his daughter back in the layette. To Cindy, he said, “The nurse seems okay.”

“To
you.
” Cindy shrugged. “Maybe I just rubbed her the wrong way. I didn’t mean anything. But sometimes I guess I get a little overexuberant.”

“Thanks for your help, Cindy.”

“You like your daughter?”

“I like both my daughters.”

Cindy stepped on her tiptoes and kissed her father’s cheek.

Nurse Bellson came back and placed her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you all to leave. I’ve
got
to get these babies to their mothers. We don’t want any hungry infants.”

“Who’s going to feed our baby?” Cindy asked.

Decker noticed an immediate narrowing of Bellson’s eyes. The expression was subtle and fleeting, but it was strong enough to set his antennae quivering.

“I’m going to feed her
personally
just as soon as I finish wheeling the babies to their mothers,” Bellson said.

“Can I feed her?” Cindy asked. “I’ll gown up. Please?”

Decker cut in before Bellson could speak. “I think it would be a good idea if Cindy…I know my wife would like it. If you wouldn’t mind, Marie. I don’t want to upset any rules, but…”

Decker watched Bellson rock on her feet.

“It’s unusual,” she said.

“I promise I won’t get in your way,” Cindy said.

“That’d be a first,” Bellson muttered under her breath. Then she smiled. “I suppose I could allow it this one time. Go inside the nursery, but don’t go past the yellow line. I’ll suit you up in a minute.”

“Thank you very much, Marie,” Decker said. “I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” Marie checked her watch again.

Decker said, “We’re leaving. Thanks.”

Marge hugged Decker. “Baby is just beautiful, Pete. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Thanks for coming down, Margie. Get some sleep. Some people have to work in the morning.”

“Three weeks to go, then it’s big time.” Marge gave him a quick salute. “See you in Homicide, big guy.”

“You
call
us, Akiva, when you see Ginny,” Magda reminded him. “I just want you to tell me she’s okay.”

“I promise, Magda.”

Decker knelt and drew his sons near him. “I want you guys to get some sleep. It’s been a long, torturous day, and we all need our rest.”

They nodded weakly. It was late, and anxiety had sapped their strength.

“Where you go now, Akiva?” Stefan asked.

“Back to the OB lobby. They promised they’d tell me as soon as Rina was out of Recovery. Come on, I’ll walk you to the elevators. Cindy, you’re staying here, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me when you’re done feeding the baby. Don’t you dare walk to your car by yourself.”

“I know, I know—”

“Don’t shine me on, Cynthia. I’m serious.”

“I promise I’ll check in with you.”

“Good.”

“Daddy?”

“What?”

“Does the baby have a name?”

“I think Rina wanted to wait until we named her in synagogue.”

Cindy hesitated. “It just might be nice to call her something. But I don’t want to ruin your tradition.”

Decker thought a moment. “I think Rina mentioned something about naming her Channa Shoshana—Hannah Rose in English.”

Magda erupted into tears. “That was my
mother
’s name.
My mother, Channa, and Stefan’s mother, Shoshana,
aleichem hashalom.
Gottenu, I hadn’t thought about…” Again, the flood of tears. “Our other granddaughter was named after
their
side, so this be the first name for my mother.” She hugged her husband. “They’d be so
proud
, nu, Stefan.”

“Very proud.”

Decker spotted Nurse Bellson’s impatient eyes. They had narrowed, and only part of the green irises were visible.

Panther eyes.

“We’re holding up the show,” he said. “Thank you, Marie. Let’s go.” He kissed Cindy’s cheek. “Bye, princess.”

“Bye, Daddy.”

Cindy watched them go, her father holding the boys’ hands while Magda sobbed on her husband’s shoulder. As soon as the group was out of sight, she felt the heat of Bellson’s glare. The nurse had her twiggy arms twisted across her chest.

“Well, you engineered that one nicely.”

“Can we please be friends?” Cindy asked.

“You don’t trust me to feed the baby?”

“Of course, I trust you, Ms. Bellson. I just feel so
sorry
for her, her mom being operated on and everything. My father was a basket case about a half hour ago. She’s my sister…my first actual sibling. I’m just trying to help.”

“You’re getting in my way.”

“It’s unintentional. Honestly.”

“Unintentional.” Bellson snorted. “Haven’t you something better to do with your life than hang around here?”

“I’ll be back in school in a week. How’s that?”

“Where?”

“In New York. Columbia University, specifically.”

“UC system isn’t good enough for you?”

“Who can get into UCLA?” Cindy forced herself to smile. “Besides, I’m trying to give my poor mom a break after all these years putting up with me.”

“You don’t get along with your mom?”

Cindy waited a beat before speaking. She sensed that the nurse was hoping she didn’t get along. “Actually, I’m close to
both my parents. They lead very different lives, but they’re both good people. I do the best I can.”

Bellson hesitated, then shook her head once again. Her eyes suddenly softened. “I suppose it’s nice what you’re doing for your father. Just don’t step on my toes, all right? I’ve been charge nurse of this unit for ten years. I don’t appreciate people barging in, demanding that I cater to them.”

“I didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry.”

“S’okay.” Bellson uncrossed her arms, letting them slowly drop to her sides. “I do get testy, especially when I’m overworked and understaffed.” She played with a gold class ring on her left hand. “My profession means a lot to me. I put my heart and soul into my babies—all of them. You notice that little Rodriguez baby?”

Cindy nodded.

“Mama’s only fifteen years old—a child with a child. I’ve spent hours with her just teaching her the basics. How to hold her baby, how to feed her, how to change a diaper. Letting her know that what she’s got is a
baby
and not a
doll.
”

“That’s very nice of you.”

“It’s because I care. I care about that skinny little thing.” Bellson furrowed her brow. “She was low birth weight because her mother smoked during pregnancy.” She dropped her voice a notch. “And I bet she smoked more than tobacco.”

The nurse smoothed her paper gown.

“Anyway, it’s not my position to judge. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. But it is my position to
help.
I don’t want that poor little thing going home with an untrained mother. They’re the ones who do damage. One of the things I always tell the mamas: If they don’t want what the good Lord blessed them with, there are hundreds of nice families who’d gladly take the baby off their hands. They should quit their eternal griping and thank Jesus they have a healthy baby.”