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“Hmmm.
Did you know all angels are messengers – that is our main purpose and then those of us, like me, who have served man
y years, have additional tasks. I am descended from Uriel.
Have you heard of Uriel?”

“No, I honestly haven’t.”
I suddenly wished my parents had been religious, wondering if Sunday school would have taught me about Uriel, thus preparing me for this moment.

“U
riel was the angel of destiny.
His messengers are meant to bring people to their destiny – hence, I thought yours would be an easy assignment – Ben was clearly the right man for your destiny – he knew your parents, he was in t
he right town, he’s a nice guy.
I’ve been
angel of destiny for centuries.
Yours should h
ave been an open and shut case.
It should have only taken me a matter of
days, and I’d be back up there.
But there isn’t any
where I’d rather be than here.”
He nuzzled my neck.

I didn’t want to ask my next question, but it
was the one I couldn’t avoid.

“Marty, why did y
ou say we’re on borrowed time?
Is it because of you not getting older?” I hated the words coming out of my mouth.

Marty sighed.
“I wish that were the only pro
blem we faced.
Angels are not mea
nt to fall in love with humans.
And no angel should allow a h
uman to fall in love with them.
For a guardian angel, such as myself, to allow the human he is guarding to fall in love with him, as you have – well, it is a complete tab
oo – unheard of, unmentionable.
I’m still angry at myself for allowing it to happen, even though it is the best thing
that has ever happened to me.” He looked deeply into my eyes.
“There was a reason that I asked you not to tell me that you l
ove me.
That would alert all other angels to this and they would immed
iately summon me away from you.
I have no idea what would happen to me
then.
I certainly would never be
allowed to guard anyone again.
And I would never be able to see you again.”

“This is why we had to be s
o careful outside of the house?
If we carry on as we are, will they ever find out?” I was desperate for him to stay with me.

“Claudia, I think they al
ready know something is wrong.
I’d already told a friend that I was struggling
with this assignment.
I’ve been here for so long – at least double the length of time I would normally take to comple
te an operation like this one.
It is only a matter of time until t
hey realise what has happened.”
He looked serious and his eyes glistened.

“What will happen then?” The words were croaky where I was getting upset.

“I’ll be gone forever.”

“How long do we have?”
My tears had now spilled over.

“I don’
t know. I can’t tell anymore.
It’s like being with you blocks the signals I used to be abl
e to get. Like I’m off the radar.
It could be months, it could be just days.”

“Is there anything we can do?”

“We can only continue to avoid being affectionate in public and h
ope that they haven’t realised.
We need to try to avoid drawing attention to ou
rselves.”

“In what way?”

“I have been overprotective of you – my display in the pub, putting the knife right through the table, is a prime example – I was so angry at putting you in danger, I used streng
th a normal man wouldn’t have.
It didn’t seem to register with anybody that night,
but that was a matter of luck.
And I would use anything at
my disposal to keep you safe.”

I wiped my tears
away, and took a deep breath.
I pulled myself together.

“Marty, if we don’t have much time left together, I don’t want to
waste it crying, or worrying.
I want to make the most of every moment.”

He pulled me close and whispered in my ear:

“I love you.”

Marty stayed with
me in my bed again that night.
Even if we were asleep, we wanted to spend every moment we coul
d together.
I woke up several times in the night, fearing he had disappeared, but every time I lo
oked over, he was still there.

I was more than willing to play truant the next day, to suspend all plans in favour of staying at home with Marty, but he insisted that we had
to keep up our usual routines.
The last thing I felt like doing was going to a drama lecture, especially with the annoy
ing Donna, but I had no choice.
Knowing that I was enduring it to keep Marty wit
h me made it far less painful.

I’d been so preoccupied during the last lecture that I had no idea whether I had any preparation that I should h
ave completed for this lecture.
I’d left home at the last minute, trying to savour every moment with Marty before we had to hide away our true feel
ings.
He promised to meet me afte
r my lecture and walk me home.
That moment cou
ldn’t come soon enough for me.

As I walked into the drama studio, I could feel the excited energ
y and anticipation in the room.
I skulked to the back of the raked theatre seating, wishing to be as anonymous as p
ossible for the next few hours.
Pretending to read from my notebook, I listened in to the bubbling
chatter of my fellow students.
After a few minutes of subtle eavesdropping, I became aware that Donna was announcing the cast list for the show she was forcing us to partake in,
at the start of this lecture. I couldn’t care less.

When I’d been younger, being an actress had been a dream of mine and even though I knew it would be hard, I did like the idea of pursuing t
hat line of work.
My parents had advised me to have a backup plan, so I’d settle
d on studying English, as well.
This was not a hardship to me, a
s I adored reading and writing.
I thought about how the old me, the me that hadn’t been an orphan, would have joined in the anticip
ation shared by my classmates.
Yet, I was different to my classmates, different even to the me that had sat here not wa
nting to participate last week.
I now k
new that angels truly existed.
And
an angel was in love with me.
Everything else paled in comparison.

The studio we
nt silent when Donna walked in.
I looked up from my notebook and began
wishing for time to go faster.
Every minute spent here was a minute away from Mar
ty.
Time stolen from our love.

“Right, I know you’re all dying to hear what parts you have been assigned for our little project, so here we go
.” Donna sounded bored already.
In a m
onotone, she listed the chorus.
I was surprised not to hear my name yet, but didn’t dare put
my hand up to ask her about it.
With any luck, she’d forgotten to put me on the list and I could end up doing
backstage management.
She continued on with her list, interrupted occasionally, by gasps of excitement by those who were happy with their assigned roles and softly muttered groans by
those who were disappointed.
I started to tune out, wishing I could float up, o
ut of the room, and find Marty.
The sound of my name and the creak of the seats as people turned around to face me, snapped me back into the present moment.

“Claudia.
You coul
d at least pretend to be happy.
I’m sure there are a dozen girls in here that would h
appily kill you for that role.”
Donna stared at me and after a heartbeat, I understood why everyone was looking at me, most of them thoroughly unimpressed
.
I’d been chosen to play Lydia Mills
, the lead character.
I could feel my chee
ks flushing with embarrassment.
I cleared my throat.

“Er, Donna, I don’t think that…
I’m not sure I’m right for
Lydia
.
I’m not bold enough; I’m sure someone like…” I struggled to remember the names of any of my female classmates and trailed off.

“Karen Whitestone?” one of the other students suggested.

“Yes,” I continued, gratefully. “Wouldn’t she be amazing in the role?”

“Are you questioning my choice
s?” Donna’s voice was like ice.
All the students’ heads turned simultaneously, as though they w
ere watching a game of tennis.
I had a feeli
ng I was about to be aced.

“Of course not, I just wondered…” I didn’t know how to continue, it was clear I wasn’t going to win.

“Lydia Mills
is an emotionally brittle, egocentric and damaged character who puts
on a façade to cover her pain. You’re perfect for the role.” Donna stared straight at me.
Somehow, she managed to make her co
mpliment sting with criticism.
I had to try one more time.

“But
Lydia
is supposed to be sexy an
d provocative – that isn’t me!”
Some of my classmates sniggered and I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn.

“That’s the acting part.” Donna was deadpan, and I knew it was useless to t
ry to convince her any further.
I put my head down, resigned to the embarrassment, feeling waves of disapproval rolling off some of the other students. “Right, if Claudia has finally finished telling me how to do my
job, can we begin for the day?
I’d like all of you to collect the scripts at the front and we shall begin our read through.”

I managed to survive the rest of the lecture without getting a
ny further comments from Donna.
I did receive the occasional glare from some of the female cast members, who were probably as shocked as me that I had b
een given the lead role.
As we read through the play, I did start to identify wit
h the character of
Lydia
– her ‘head in the sand’ attitude to the impending end of her relati
onship struck a chord with me.
At the end of the session, Donna thrust a CD into my hands.

“Learn the songs as quickly as you can.  We don’t have time to mess around.” She walked away from me. 

I threw the CD into my bag, and left the room as quickly as possible, desperate to see Marty, who was wa
iting just outside of the door.
My heartbeat
was rising with anticipation.
I had to remind myself to calm down, slow down, and avoi
d displaying my true emotions.
Act
ing had never been so critical.

Marty stood with his back leaning against a wall, achingly beautiful, wearing a leather jacket, l
ooking the opposite of angelic.
I had to remind myself that I shouldn’t let my imagination run away – he’d spelled out, clearly, the bo
undaries we had to comply with.
He smiled broadly when he saw me, and my imagination went off for a sprint without my permission, flashing pictures in my head that would certainly ha
ve crossed Marty’s boundaries. I blushed at my thoughts.

“Hello, Claudia.” He moved towards me.

“Marty.” I almost breathed his name and reminded myself to keep the appearance of one fr
iend greeting another.
“How was your day?”

“I couldn’t be more glad to be heading home.” His smile had a secret in it, just for me.

“Me too.” I returned his smile.
I paused. “I got the lead in the show.”

“You don’t seem happy about it.” He glanced down at me, as we started walking back home.

“I’m not. I can’t do it.
I’m not right for the role.” I sighed, heavily, despite my pleasure at walking by his side.

“Of course you can, I have so much faith in you.” He smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile ba
ck.
We walked along, in comfortable silence, storing up our conversation for behind
the closed doors of our home.

Out of nowhere, a heavy weight pressed on both my shoulders for a moment and then I saw Marty whirl around, so fast he was practically a bl
ur; and the weight was gone.
I turned around and saw Marty pinning Ben up against a wall.