Grasping For Freedom (14 page)

"Why?" She shook her head. "I don't understand."

He braced. "Why did I kill—?"

"No." She pressed her hand to her chest. "Why are you willing to go against everything you've told me to now deciding to claim me as your woman?"

"Honestly?" He leaned forward until his forehead lay against hers. "I have no fucking clue, except you do something to my soul when I'm with you that makes me believe that I can share your happy, and I have a feeling that's the best damn feeling in the world for a guy like me."

"Oh, babe," she whispered, without a hint of insolence and only sweetness in her voice. "Y-you know I'm going to say okay, but it's not because I'm scared. You...you've given me something I had no idea I needed until I met you, and I can't imagine not having you in my life. Remember that, Torque, okay?"

He nodded. Her reasons didn't play into what was happening. All he understood was he could get used to her calling him babe in that soft voice and the tender way she touched him. "Then, you're my old lady and we'll make it official in the morning. You've got my protection against Bantorus MC. I'll stand beside you."

"Thank you." She kissed him with the same softness he expected to get from her. "Okay, I am a little bit scared, but not because I'm with you."

Her confession pleased him. He couldn't say he was disappointed. In fact, he wanted to take her in the bedroom and show her exactly what he thought about their arrangement. He wasn't into love, but then again love had no place in his life. But there was no denying Brandy was his, and he'd make sure she remained his.

T
orque placed the half helmet on Brandy's head and latched the strap. She moved her head around, surprised by the weight. Though the reasons behind why she was wearing a helmet seemed to be a huge deal to Torque, coupled with the last twenty-four hours with him had left her unbalanced and everything seemed foreign and awkward, including the dull black helmet.

"So, having me ride on the back of your bike is a way for you to tell everyone not to mess with me?" She pushed the hair off her cheek and tucked it inside the contraption.

"Yeah, something like that." He removed the leather bag on the back of his bike, uncovering a slim padded seat no wider than his hand.

"No way," she mumbled. "My ass is way bigger than that."

"You'll fit." He grinned for the first time this morning.

Last night, she'd fallen asleep with him lying beside her, holding her close. This morning, she woke up to find herself alone and Torque sitting out in the living room with the door wide open again. Afraid to question him on why he prefers to freeze, she'd closed the door and opened the window beside his chair a crack, before curling up on his lap. They'd both fell asleep for another hour of much needed sleep.

Torque shut the garage, and returned to the bike. "We need to talk before we head to the bar."

"Okay," she said.

"Rain and the other guys won't go easy on you, and there's a very good reason why." He looked off into the distance. "You'll need to let them have their say and ask their questions. There's a lot of bad blood between Bantorus members and Los Li. We have history with them and the Mexican mafia. Slade almost lost Taylor to Los Li. The scar on her face is a result of fighting for her life and surviving. Slade's not going to take the news well about what you've done by coming into the club and working against us. Raul thought Crystal was dead because of Los Li and mourned her before he discovered she was still alive and got her back. He too, will not like hearing what you've done."

"Oh, my God." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, blocking out the horrendous picture Torque created by telling her everything.

"The scars on my shoulder are from two bullet holes from Los Li over territorial rights. The second one almost put me six feet down. Los Li wants control over Pitnam, and we won't give it to them," he said.

"Shit." She staggered back, but Torque brought her to him again. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry. God, they're going to hate me. You should hate me."

"Give them time to hear and accept the truth," he said. "I'll make Bantorus listen, and I'll talk until they do. Be prepared, because we're going to have a war on our hands. So, if you have anything you've left out or haven't told me, tell me now so we go into this meeting with all the details."

She shook her head. "I've told you everything. I only agreed to come here to save my dad. If I had turned down Radiant's offer to help me, I was under the impression that they'd kill my dad and turn me into a bitch for their gang. I had to do something fast, because I need to take care of him."

"Okay." He removed his gloves from his vest pocket. "Good enough for me."

She grabbed the front of his vest, stopping him from getting on the bike. "Did Los Li shooting you have anything to do with why you were in prison?"

"No. The shootings happened less than a year ago. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time." He rubbed his hand over his mouth. "Prison was a long time ago, sunshine. I was put away at sixteen years old, and then transferred to the state pen at eighteen years old to serve the rest of my time. I walked away a felon guilty of murder at the age of twenty three."

She held on to his vest. His nonchalant ease at stating the facts wasn't working for her. His actions belied everything he shrugged off. She didn't believe what he was telling her.

"You didn't murder anyone," she whispered.

His gaze snapped from her hand on him to her eyes. "You don't know me or what I'd do."

"I do." She tugged on his vest when he tried to step away. "I know we haven't known each other very long, but you're not guilty of killing someone."

"You'd lose that bet, sunshine," he murmured. "I'm guilty of many things, including taking someone's life."

It wasn't true. He was lying. He wouldn't meet her gaze.

She held on to him. "I'm talking about your time in prison. You were innocent."

He stepped closer and got in her face. Their helmets clashed. "What makes you so sure?"

"I just do," she whispered. "You might've killed someone before, but it was in self-defense or you had a very good reason. I don't believe you would never outright murder someone. A man that holds me and is giving up his whole life to take care of me when my world has turned upside down would not be guilty of murdering someone unless he was saving someone else. You warned me away, when you could've taken me without a second thought. You claimed me, to save me. I know it's not for love, but what kind of man does such a thing? I'll tell you. A man who believes in protecting the innocent. You know what it feels like to have nowhere to turn."

He kissed her hard. She accepted the tongue in her mouth, the crushing pressure on her lips, the heaving panting. There was no gentleness in the kiss. She fisted his vest in her hands and held on, while he shut her up and acknowledged she spoke the truth.

He didn't have to utter a word.

She believed in him.

She also lost her heart to him.

He pulled away, not letting her go. His voice broke when he finally said, "Nobody knows."

"What do you mean?" Her heart raced. "Nobody knows the truth?"

"No, not the club, and not even Rain knows the reason why I spent time in prison or who put me there. Seven fucking years, and that was only because the crime was done when I was a minor and they knocked eight years off my sentence." He held her tightly, and tilted his head back, gazing into the sky. "My father—he practically spit the word out—killed his business partner, placed the pistol under my seat in my Charger, and when the police questioned him, he led them straight toward me. I was ratted by my old man. My prints were all over the gun, because a week before, he'd taken me to the shooting range for some
good ol' boys
bonding time."

"Oh, my God. Did you tell them it was your dad?" she asked, her heart breaking for the young man who had so many years wasted and had to grow up before his time.

He scoffed and brought his eyes back to her. "No, because unlike my father, I don't rat. You have to realize my life was shit anyways before all this happened. I'd lost respect for my father long before he framed me."

"But you went to prison," she said. "He needs to pay."

"After the first year inside, I lived day to day plotting vengeance on my old man. It wasn't until I got out that I learned he died from bone cancer while I was behind bars. I can never get my years back or erase my past or make him pay. And, sunshine, what I've done since walking out of prison isn't going to get me citizen of the year. I've done things that would sicken you, and I'm leaving it at that. All you have to know is I'm Bantorus, heart and soul, and you will be protected."

She nodded, unable to think of anything to say. He kissed her once more, got on the motorcycle, tipped the bike up, and started the engine. She took his hand, climbed onto the skinny seat over the back wheel, and held on as he slowly cruised down his street.

In a matter of minutes, Torque pulled into the parking lot of Cactus Cove. Whether it was because he'd missed work this morning or she rode on the back of his Harley, a crowd grew around them before they came to a complete stop. She hopped off and scanned the horde. Every man wore a vest and a solemn expression. Many of them wouldn't meet her gaze, and she stepped over and slipped her fingers into Torque's hand.

He lifted his chin and motioned for them all to follow. As if marching in a parade and she was the only person in a chicken suit, she trailed behind Torque. It was one thing to confess all to Torque in the privacy of his own home, and another to come clean around a group of bikers who looked scary and possibly dangerous. The feelings were not much different from when she'd walked into Los Li's club and dealt with Radiant. Scarier than shit.

Torque poked his head inside Rain's office door. "Meeting."

Rain stood and followed Torque inside the room across the hallway. Then Torque stood beside the table, behind the chairs, while everyone filed in and took a seat around the table. She leaned against Torque, needing to know he was physically beside her. He squeezed her hand, and she held on tighter.

The door closed.

"Before Torque speaks, remember there's a lady in the room." Rain leaned back in his chair. "What's up?"

Torque looked around the table and returned his gaze to Rain. "I ask that you hear Brandy out, and know that I've claimed her as my woman. She's Bantorus. If anyone has a problem with that or me, I'll tear off my patches."

Rain's expression never changed. "All agree?"

The men voted unanimously in agreement. Brandy, lightheaded and sick to her stomach, stared at the middle of the table. Torque never told her he'd leave the club.

If word leaked out and the worst happened, Radiant would come for her. Her dad would be worse off, and now Torque would lose his family.

She turned into Torque and whispered, "I've changed my mind."

"Can't do it, sunshine." He kissed her forehead, turned her, and pressed his hand against her back. "I'm right here. Ain't going anywhere."

With Torque beside her and his hand claiming her, she started from the beginning and spilled every ugly detail about how she found herself working for Rain, under the Bantorus MC's protection. Her cheeks remained dry throughout her recalling of the events, but her throat burned and her head pounded. Halfway through, Bruce stood from the table, poured her a drink from the mini bar in the corner of the room and placed it in her hand. She lifted the glass and finished the rest. Afraid she was going to throw up, she put her arm around Torque and hung on to his vest.

"Proud of you, sunshine." Torque turned back to the members and said, "Since she claims Radiant's pressure on her eases when she mentions my name, I'm assuming he's after me. I want to know why he's after me. I was the lone vote to go after him months ago after I recovered...twice. Yet, we sat on it, and let Los Li win."

"We kept our territory," Rain said.

Jedman leaned forward. "Lagsturns MC updates have assured us that Los Li has stepped back. They're going through Idaho and around Pitnam to reach Seattle. From all evidence, it never appeared as if Torque was the target months ago when the bullshit went down with Taylor."

"Fuck this. What's this say about us when one of Los Li walks into our club, a woman, and jerks us all off," Slade said, standing to his feet.

Torque shifted and put Brandy at his hip, his body between her and Slade. "I understand where you're coming from, but remember, the woman you're talking about
is mine
. If you have a problem you can't get past, then I'll take off my colors."

Slade sat back down and looked toward their president. Brandy looked at Torque.

"I have a big fucking problem with this, amigo," Raul said. "Crystal went through hell running for her life."

"Damn right, and Taylor still doesn't sleep through the night. That's on my back. I'd kill each one of the sons of bitches," Slade said.

Remmy thumped the table with his fist. "Slow down. Is there an association between Torque and Los Li? The Los Li boys run the penal system from the inside. Torque's a felon."

"H-he's not a felon," Brandy said, frustrated over everyone talking over her head and not understanding what they were discussing.

The room grew quiet, all eyes on Brandy. She held on to Torque. "It's not true," she said softly. "It's not."

Torque's body had gone hard and she tugged on his arm. She whispered, even though everyone in the room was all ears, "Tell them the truth."

"They know the truth," he said.

Rain shook his head. "
I
know the truth, but the club doesn't know. It's not my business to talk."

"Well, fuck." Remmy pushed back in his chair, his eyes hard. "I think we need to know what the hell is going on."

Jedman adjusted his bandana. "Most of us have women, kids, that need to remain save. If Los Li's gunning for Torque, us, I'd like the whole story."

Rain said, "We've never held a member responsible for his past. Not one of you has had to share what brought you here. I won't require Torque to tell us what happened while he was up state."