Grasping For Freedom (5 page)

"Hold on. Are you accusing—?"

"
That
means customers are hanging around the bar longer, taking up a table that'd serve someone else. It also means the longer they have to stay in the bar to get their buzz on, the more likelihood that you're getting out of here at three in the morning, instead of two," Brandy said.

Several seconds ticked by, and then Ginger's mouth curved into a smile. "Like an assembly line. The faster we serve, the sooner we get done."

"And the more tips land in your tight little shorts." Brandy grinned. "Win-Win."

Ginger's arms unfolded and her shoulders dropped in relaxation. "I hear you on that, girlfriend. Count me in on doing the dishwasher. I'll talk to Taylor when she comes in, but I know she'll do anything if it means extra money. She and Slade are trying to save up to buy a bigger house for the kids."

"Great. I'll also help with the dishwasher duties. If we all take turns when we have a few moments to spare, it won't seem like such a chore." Brandy stepped back and motioned for her to go back to work. "Thanks for talking with me."

Ginger shrugged. "You're all right. Not a Gladys, but you'll do."

She smiled. Inside she pumped her fist and laughed hysterically in success. Her first obstacle now behind her, she celebrated at getting past Ginger's cold treatment toward her and having her see them as equals working together for a good cause. She wasn't looking for friends, and even though her job was a cover for whatever reason Los Li wanted her inside the hubbub of Bantorus MC, she was going to do the best damn job she could do.

"Nice work," a deep voice said behind her.

Her adrenaline congregated in her lower stomach. Knowing the caressing voice, she turned around more eager to see him than she wanted to let him know. "Hey, Torque."

His gaze studied her face, then lowered and swept the length of her body, cementing her to the spot. She couldn't move if she wanted to, and the last thing she wanted to do is move away and lose what he gave her every time he was near. Her feelings were crazy and unrealistic, but she couldn't tell her body not to want more from him.

He seemed content to look at her, but she had to get back to work. She couldn't expect everyone else to step up and do extra work if she stood around gawking at one of the bikers. "Did you need something?"

He stepped forward until her breasts, already sensitive and aware of him, brushed his chest. His hand slipped into her front pocket of her jeans. She gasped. His touch, so close to her sex, stole her next breath.

His lips softened, letting her know he could see right through her. "Cars fixed."

"W-what was wrong with it?" she asked, not moving away.

His other hand landed on her hip and he pulled her tighter against him. He said on a contented exhale, "Timing belt."

Her chest constricted and her body pulsed. "How much do I owe you?"

"More than you're willing to give me." He held on to her, but his gaze went over her head. "I'll call us even if you stand right there and let me hold you."

"That's all?" She gazed up into his unreadable face.

He had no idea she wanted to pay the price. She'd take a high interest loan out with a bank to finance her way into bed with him.

"Yep," he whispered, dipping his head and inhaling. "You, your body, your smell, your tight jeans, and...damn, those boots."

She leaned against him. "I need to work."

"I know that, sunshine." His chest expanded and he squeezed the slope of her hip. "I also know you only have a couple of hours left and you get off before the dinner crowd arrives."

She shook her head, trying to clear the lustful fog surrounding her and think about what he was telling her. "Yeah, Rain's working tonight and tomorrow's my day off."

She couldn't understand why he'd want to discuss her work schedule. The impassive attitude he had a few hours ago no longer existed, and he almost sounded as if he was interested in what she did in her free time.

"Be outside your cabin after work." He stepped away. "Be there."

He looked away, lifted his chin to Bruce at the bar, and then walked down the hallway. She stared after him long past the time that she lost sight of him. Something about him was different. Not only had his antagonism toward her changed. He seemed more relaxed...open.

T
he girls in the last cabin in the row behind the door opened their door for business. Torque gazed at the hanger pausing on the porch with brown hair and a set of hips made for a man's hands. He contemplated walking over and having her relieve him of the hard-on he sported thanks to Brandy. However, he wasn't in the mood for one of the Bantorus girls or the back and forth dance that was required.

Hell, most of the hangers had their own apartment or rental house in Pitnam, but used the cabin to hang out in hopes he or a few of the other guys would pay them a visit. If the girls could raise their head in the morning and get outside at a decent time, Rain would often hand out jobs at the hotel in housekeeping or deliveries for the garage. But a job was a bonus to them. They stayed close to Cactus Cove for the attention and knowing someone was watching out for them.

Excess energy made his steps lighter as he made his way to his bike. He only had a couple of hours to wait until Brandy was off work. The anticipation of having Brandy underneath him was worth the agonizing sweetness of being ready to have sex with her tonight.

Forgoing the helmet strapped to the bitch seat on his Harley, he straddled the bike. He'd check in at the garage, figure out his schedule for tomorrow, and work around spending time with Brandy. One of the guys would change shifts with him if needed.

A night and half of a day would be enough to get Brandy out of his head.

A loud whistle brought his head up. Slade jogged toward him. He swung his leg off the bike and waited for his Bantorus brother.

Slade didn't stop as he approached and slammed Torque against the brick wall of the bar with his vest crumpled in Slade's fists. Slade got in his face. "What the hell are you doing?"

Torque shoved Slade off him. He'd like nothing more than fight. "Go ahead, hit me."

"You asshole," Slade muttered, slinging his arm around Torque's neck in a familiar camaraderie. "Take a ride and even out before you step too far over the line"

"I know what I'm doing." He tensed, rejecting the reminder about club rules.

"Stay away from her." Slade shook his head. "Don't use her, or you'll put yourself up against Rain."

"Rain's good, man," Torque said. "Nothing's going to happen that can't happen."

His good mood stayed despite Slade's advice meant to tap him down. He had everything under control. Nothing was going to stop him. Brandy was there for the taking, and he wanted her. Hell, he could've had her on the floor of the bar, while she was working. She was that into him.

"Hey, why don't you come on over tonight. Taylor's fixing dinner. We'll have a few beers, shoot some pool in the garage," Slade said.

"Got things to do, man." Torque play punched Slade in the stomach.

"Torque..." Slade's arm fell away from him and his jaw twitched. "Talk to me."

He laughed. Sometimes the guys were a bunch of oversensitive babies.

"Nothing to say. I'm not scheduled to work today, and—hey, do you know if I'm on the books to work tomorrow?" he said.

"Yeah. Pete's got you and me down to work," Slade said.

"Damn." He shook his head. "Can't do it. I'll call Remmy and have him come in."

Slade widened his stance. "You need to work and to stay away from the new manager. Rules, brother."

Torque hopped on his Harley. "Don't worry about what I do...and lighten up. Go grab Taylor and work off some of that stress you're carrying around, or I will have to punch you."

He rode off, leaving Slade in the parking lot. He needed Brandy worse than he needed the money he'd get for working. The way she reacted in the bar, he'd have no problems keeping her satisfied.

After flagging down Remmy at the garage, promising him a case of beer and two weekend exchanges, he'd cleared everything from his schedule tomorrow. His night and day were free. To waste time before going back to the bar to meet Brandy, he headed out of town.

Opening his throttle, he sailed past the cars on I-5. Nothing could catch him with the wind in his face and his responsibilities behind him.

Fuck his dad.

Fuck his life.

Fuck the time wasted, the darkness, the caged feeling that he could never quite shake.

He stretched his legs, sliding his boots off the pegs. He'd outran his past long ago, but when he least expected it, the panic of all those years wasted crippled him.

Turning off the exit, he remembered the promised stop to talk with Tori. He calculated the distance he'd already covered, and how long it'd normally take him to make it back to Cactus Cove, and forced a quick turn on in the middle of the road to go to his president's house. If he kept Tori from talking his ear off, he'd make good time and be back at Brandy's cabin to meet her after work.

When he approached the street where he had to slow down and turn, he passed Rain heading toward town on his motorcycle. He held out his arm, two fingers spread wide, and got the same sign from Rain. He arrived at the house and hopped off the bike.

"You just missed Rain." Tori stood on the porch and planted her hands on her hips. "Where's your helmet?"

"Bike." He hitched his thumb over his shoulder and walked up the steps. "Don't lecture."

"Then don't be stupid with your life." She swatted his arm before patting his chest in friendship. "Did you come to see me?"

He grinned, unable to stop, because he'd never met a woman who always seemed surprised that others enjoyed spending time with her. "Yeah."

"Good. Come on in, but be quiet. I just put Lilly down for a nap. She's thinks she's too old to sleep and threw the biggest fit until Rain laid down with her. Then she collapsed," Tori hooked her long blonde hair behind her ear and opened the door.

Lilly, Rain and Tori's only child, had both her parents' undivided attention at almost two years old. She was also a splitting image of her mom, which had Rain bullshitting nonsense when anyone mentioned his daughter's name. He was happy for Rain and Tori, though he couldn't understand giving up his freedom and settling down with one woman, despite how highly he respected Tori.

He sat down on the couch in the large living room overlooking the Lewis River. "Rain said you wanted to see me."

"Of course, I do. You haven't been by, and I haven't had time to try to find you." Tori pulled her legs up underneath her in the chair across from him. "How're you doing?"

"Working most days. Bike's running. Bills are paid, so I can say life's pretty damn good," Torque said.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about," Tori said, and it was the concern he heard in her voice that had him looking away.

"I'm good." He shrugged. "The muscles are a little tight in the morning, but after a couple of hours working at the garage, my shoulder loosens up."

He was lucky to be alive. That's what everyone kept telling him. He still wasn't sure the scars were worth worrying about. His recovery had taken time, but he could still ride a bike and that's all that mattered to him.

"No more flashbacks?" Tori asked, not pulling any punches.

He stood and walked to the sliding door. Only one woman came around when he was recovering, and Tori made sure he was comfortable and well cared for. Taylor, who was admitted to the hospital at the same time, never mentioned the shooting after making sure he was okay upon her release. Not because she didn't care, she cared too much. He tried to keep his distance, because he'd seen the haunted look in her eyes whenever they were around each other. He respected both women probably more than he respected any man.

He accepted and understood Taylor's choice to move on and not discuss what'd happened. Things could've turned out differently for everyone, and he accepted what happened. Better him than Rain or Slade, who both had families to look after.

Tori and Rain spent many nights with him after he got home from the hospital, supporting and taking care of him. He couldn't hide his panic and unease when the doctors had him drugged up and riding high. He'd used the closest thing he had available to cover up the truth and blamed his behavior on the shootings.

He was good at making excuses. They had no idea his conduct ran back to his time in prison, or that his anger wasn't over what Los Li did to him. He was born into the wrong family. He had a rap sheet longer than his arm and although he was forty-three years old, he'd only spent the last twenty years a free man.

Keeping his freedom was important, and his biggest fear.

"Nope. It's in the past. My days are good, like I was telling you; nothing bothers me except a little stiffness in my shoulder in the morning." He turned around and grinned. "I need to get out of here. There's someone waiting for me. Give Lilly a kiss from her Uncle Torque and make sure Rain brings you around to the club."

Tori got to her feet and walked him to the door. "One of the girls for the club or someone new?"

He half turned, and kissed her forehead. "I don't slap jack. Go pester one of the other guys about their sex life, huh?"

"You're no fun." Tori laughed. "You're just afraid I'll end up putting your life in my column in the newspaper."

Torque shook his head and walked out the door. He waved over his shoulder as he continued down the steps to his bike. Rain was a lucky bastard, but he had his hands full with his old lady. They'd gone through hell and despite the shit Tori went through as a child, she came out balanced. It was Tori's balancing act and ability to move on with life that continued to escape him with his own life. She'd never understand how he had no control, but then again, he wouldn't give her a chance to take on his problems too.

The sun slipped behind the hills. He flipped on his headlight and cruised the back road to Pitnam. More sedate than he was earlier, he pushed the speed limit to get to Brandy before he wound down.