Authors: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
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Fist pumps for Snooki!
“Draw[s] our attention like a berserk windup toyâ¦. The breakout member of the cast.”
â
The New York Times
“Incomparable.”
â
New York
magazine
“Our favorite diminutive reality star.”
â
People.com
“America has gone nuts for Snooki.”
â
FoxNews.com
“A nationwide sensation.”
â
New York Daily News
When you're this smokin', winning is a shore thingâ¦.
Jersey's sexiest guidettes are back for another scandalous summer at the Shore, and this time, Giovanna “Gia” Spumanti and Isabella “Bella” Rizzoli are raising the stakes to find thrills and hot gorillasâunemployment, douchebag exes, family drama, and dingy apartment be damned!
But when the girls unknowingly cross an overprotective mafiosa mama, all bets are off. Booted from Seaside Heights for good, the spunky, sequined meatball and her sensitive, quiet cousin are forced to flee to Atlantic City. Their escort out of hell is Fredo, a weird and scrawny but hooked-up club manager from a prominent family, whose master plan is to pimp out Gia's psychic gifts at the roulette tables.
Suddenly, it's raining benjamins for the coiffed and tanned threesome. Top-shelf tequila and seafood dinners are not all they're scoring. Bella snags a pale but talented boardwalk artist, Gia hooks up with a high-stakes poker hottie, and with Gia's coaching, Fredo just might have a chance at becoming a certified juicehead. Or, at least, a gorilla-in-training.
But when the casino suspects cheating, the trio is hounded by haters and tricksters determined to sabotage their endless summer. With hearts and loot on the line, losing is not a chance the crew can take.
This
time, the house isn't going to winâ¦.
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
is the
New York Times
bestselling author of
A Shore Thing
and
Confessions of a Guidette.
Famous for her trendsetting pouf hairstyle, her small stature, and her acrobatic moves on the dance floor, she is the breakout star of MTV's
Jersey Shore,
one of the highest-rated shows in the network's history. She has been parodied on
Saturday Night Live,
appeared on almost every major talk show, and been featured in
The New York Times.
Visit her online at
snookinicole.com
.
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JACKET PHOTOGRAPH BY SCOTT MCDERMOTT
COPYRIGHT © 2012 SIMON & SCHUSTER
Gorilla Beach
Nicole
Snooki
Polizzi
Â
Gallery Books
A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2012 by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Gallery Books hardcover edition May 2012
GALLERY BOOKS and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at
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.
Designed by Joy O'Meara
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Polizzi, Nicole
Gorilla beach / by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. â 1st Gallery Books hardcover ed.
      p. cm.
1. Seaside resortsâFiction. 2. Seaside Heights (N.J.)âFiction. I. Title.
   PS3616.O56775G67 2012
   813âº.6âdc232011052765
ISBN 978â1â4516â5708â1
ISBN 978â1â4516â5710â4 (eBook)
Chapter One: Like a Slutty Virgin
Chapter Two: That Sicko Freak Happens to Be My Son
Chapter Three: Home Sweat Home
Chapter Four: Follow the Bouncing Meatball
Chapter Five: Girls Just Wanna Have Rum
Chapter Six: May I Cut the Cheese for You?
Chapter Seven: Guidar on the Fritz
Chapter Eight: No Badge, No Beach
Chapter Nine: B-I-M-B-O, and Bimbo Was Her Name-O
Chapter Ten: A Six-Piece Set of Emotional Douche Baggage
Chapter Eleven: The Short Good-Bye
Chapter Twelve: Too Pretty for Sin City
Chapter Thirteen: Gorilla Ground Zero
Chapter Fourteen: Always Bet on Tan
Chapter Fifteen: The Right Way to Hug a Guido
Chapter Sixteen: Is That a Sharpie in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?
Chapter Eighteen: On Your Mark
Chapter Twenty: Living in the Pits
Chapter Twenty-One: Dance, Dance Evolution
Chapter Twenty-Two: Won and Done
Chapter Twenty-Three: The Brazillionaires
Chapter Twenty-Four: Red Alert
Chapter Twenty-Five: Batshit Being the Technical Term
Chapter Twenty-Six: I See Tequila in Your Future
Chapter Twenty-Seven: A Good Hard Whiff of Gorilla
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Hell Isn't This Hot
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Venus on the Oyster Shell
Chapter Thirty: Wound Up Like Spaghetti on a Friggin' Fork
Chapter Thirty-One: How to Grow a Pair in One Fell Sploosh
Chapter Thirty-Two: Lucky in Lurve
Chapter Thirty-Three: Scumbags Are My Weakness
Chapter Thirty-Five: No Crocadillies Were Harmed During the Writing of This Book
Chapter Thirty-Six: The Atlantic City Dump
Chapter Thirty-Seven: Just Got Out of Open-Heart Surgery
Chapter Thirty-Eight: America's Most Wanted Dickhead