Good Karma (35 page)

“
During
?”

“Yes. Can you believe that? I’d bought the
tux—because, well, my mom refused to let me rent one—and I’d bought
the corsage, paid for dinner at the nicest restaurant in Chicago,
rented a limousine, paid for the tickets, and when we got to the
prom she spent the entire evening with some other guy. I ended up
riding home in the limo by myself.”

In hindsight, it was like the prom had been a
warm-up for what Carol would do to him later. Was he destined
forever to have such awful luck with the opposite sex? Nothing good
had ever come from any significant relationship he’d been in, which
confirmed his decision never to fall in love or become seriously
entangled again.

Karma remained quiet, her gaze sharp, almost
penetrating, as if she was putting the pieces together about his
inability to commit.

“It took me a while to figure things out when
it came to women.” He looked at her hand on his chest. It felt good
there. Like it belonged.

“What happened? How did you do it?” Hope and
curiosity sparked in her gaze.

“I met a dancer at my parents’ studio. Her
name was Carol. We dated for almost two years. I was her fill-in
dance partner at first, but it became clear she had major talent,
so my parents found her a partner she could grow and compete with
at the international level since I was set to attend business
school.” His mind drifted to Antonio. “Things didn’t work out
between Carol and me after that, and we broke up.” Bitterness edged
his voice, and it was clear from Karma’s expression that she heard
it.

“Was it a bad breakup?” she said softly.

Bad didn’t even begin to describe the
nightmare he had endured at Carol’s hands. “You could say that.” He
looked away. “But it was my own fault. I was young and stupid. I
still didn’t know anything about what women wanted or needed. I was
inexperienced, fumbling my way around, maybe even a little selfish.
I didn’t treat Carol well enough. I chased her away. I didn’t put
her needs before my own. I didn’t talk to her enough. I thought I
knew what she needed, but after she left, it became clear that I
didn’t.” He couldn’t bring himself to tell Karma what had really
happened. If he started down that road, he would end up in the
bathroom with his head over the toilet. Some things were better
left unsaid. “But by leaving me, she made me see I needed to
change. That’s when I began reading…studying, like I mentioned
before.”

“Studying women?”

“Yes. I knew I had to make myself a better
man. I thought I could win her back, but…”

“You didn’t.” Karma met his gaze.

She had to see the pain haunting the depths
of his eyes…memories best forgotten.

“I failed with Carol,” he said. “And, like I
said before, I don’t like to fail.” He took a deep breath as the
shortcomings of his past pushed front and center.

“Is Carol why you’re not a long-term kind of
guy?” she asked tentatively.

Even though he couldn’t tell her exactly what
had happened with Carol, he could at least acknowledge the truth.
“Yes, something like that.” He forced a smile. “But my point is I
never wanted to be that man again. A man who couldn’t please a
woman or be what she wanted or needed.” He caressed her cheek. “I
didn’t want my past to affect my present or my future anymore. But
I had to force myself out of my comfort zone to do it. I had to
learn how to talk to women, and not just talk, but listen. Just
like you need to learn how to talk and listen to men. So that
you’re ready when the right one comes along. So you can talk to him
instead of letting him pass you by.”

He cupped her face and stroked her eyebrow
with his thumb. Once more, the thought of Karma talking to another
man sent ice through his veins, but what could he do? His course
was set. His path was laid out before him. Eventually, he would
leave and Karma would move on, whether he liked it or not.

Karma got it now. And the power of her
understanding was borne of a past not unlike her own. Mark
understood her. Why? Because he had also dealt with childhood
bullying. Who better to understand the torment she had endured and
vice versa? Like attracts like. Isn’t that what he had said a few
minutes ago? But unlike her, he had overcome. Now he wanted to help
her do the same.

She thought of all he’d told her. About the
teasing and Carol. Especially about Carol. He couldn’t commit to
anyone because of how he had failed with her. So, maybe seducing
women and succeeding with them helped him atone for whatever guilt
he still felt over what had happened with his ex. In his way, he
was proving to himself over and over again that he wasn’t a
failure. Only, he never allowed himself to fully reach the pinnacle
of success, because he never allowed a relationship to reach the
level of commitment.

Was he scared? Was that why Mark insisted on
keeping relationships short term? Because whatever had happened
between him and the women of his past had been so traumatic he
never wanted to risk being hurt again? He had a history of giving
away his heart only to have it crushed. Maybe that was why he
couldn’t commit, because doing so felt like he was setting himself
up for failure.

He said he had changed so his past didn’t
affect his future, anymore, which was all well and good. Karma was
all for finding ways to release what held you back. Wasn’t that why
she had embarked on this journey in the first place? Only, with
Mark she got the impression that whatever had happened in his past
was
affecting his future. If what had happened with Carol
was his reason for maintaining emotional distance, wasn’t it
obvious that he still wasn’t past it and that it was, in fact,
impacting his decisions for now and tomorrow?

What if Mark was so caught up in the past
that he was unable to see what appeared so plainly visible to her?
He was so intent on helping her find the right man, but what if
that was him? What if he was so keen on guarding his heart that he
let happiness pass him by?

She wanted to point that out, but instinct
held her tongue. She didn’t think pushing him would help. It might
even cause him to retreat further into his self-imposed emotional
prison. No, this was something he would have to figure out on his
own, without her interference. He was here to help her, not the
other way around.

They gazed at each other for another long
moment, then Mark said, “I should probably go. I just wanted to
come over and tell you good-bye before I left.”

“Are you still going to drive up
tonight?”

“No. I’ll leave in the morning.”

“Good. I don’t like the idea of you driving
this late. You look tired.”

“Not
too
tired.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just this.” He drew her to him and kissed
her. Passion erupted as he persuaded her mouth open with his tongue
and sought out hers.

This was a good-bye kiss to end all good-bye
kisses…and one to fill her mind with all sorts of ideas to keep her
warm while he was gone.

When he broke away moments later, he breathed
in heavily through his nose as he eyed her mouth. “I’ll definitely
call you.”

“I hope so.”

He began to pull away then stopped. “By the
way, how’s your training coming along?”

She grinned, understanding exactly what he
was asking. “I’m on the third one.”

“Mmm, then by the time I get back, you’ll be
ready?”

“Ready? For…?” Arousal hummed through her
body. She could think of a hundred things she was ready for right
this second, and all of them involved Mark.

“For me.”

“You?” Her heartbeat kicked up a notch.

He pulled her close and drew his mouth around
to her ear. “Yes. Ready for me to make love to you.”

“Oh.”

“Yes.” He kissed her cheek then helped her up
as he stood and tucked his phone inside his pocket. Then he placed
his thumb and forefinger under her chin, tipped her face to his,
and settled a chaste kiss on her lips. His thumb brushed back and
forth on her chin as he pulled away. “Have a good holiday.”

She let him out then locked up. A minute
later, she watched out her window as he drove away.

Nine days. Nine days without him.

It already felt like an eternity…and he’d
only just left.

Chapter 29

The state
of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of
mind.

-Wayne Dyer

“Hey, buddy. Long time no see.” Mark clasped Rob’s
hand as he joined him on the basketball court.

“How’s life in Indy?” Rob dropped his bag on
the pavement. “Getting anywhere with that girl of yours?”

Mark picked up the basketball he’d brought
along. “As a matter of fact, things are going well.”

Rob looked surprised. “Oh really now.”

Mark frowned. “What’s that smirk for?” Mark
shot from the free throw line. The ball bounced off the front of
the rim. That wasn’t normal. Mark and free throws went hand-in-hand
like milk and cookies. He couldn’t remember the last time he missed
a free throw.

Rob chuckled and snagged the ball. “Now I
know there’s something special about this girl. First, the
goofy-assed smile on your face and now you miss a money shot? This
might be my lucky day.”

“What goofy-assed smile?”

“The one you had on your face when I asked
about your girl.” Rob sank a layup then tossed the ball back.

Mark scowled. “Screw you.”

“Screw
you
!” Rob made a face as if he
was imitating Mark then laughed. “You like this one. And not just a
little. You like her a lot. I can tell.”

“Fuck you, Rob.” He pulled up, shot a
jumper…and missed…again. Shit. What was wrong with his game
today?

Rob smirked and grabbed the rebound. “So,
what gives? You getting soft in your old age?” He dribbled around
the court, and Mark followed, falling into guard.

“Hell no. You know I don’t want a
relationship.”

Rob shot a jumper that bounced off the front
of the rim. Mark caught the rebound and made an easy layup.
Finally! A basket.

“I didn’t say anything about you wanting a
relationship,” Rob said. “I just suggested you’re getting soft.”
Rob gave him a don’t-shit-me look. “But since you brought it
up…”

Mark’s face tightened, and he pressed his
lips together as he waved Rob off. “It’s nothing. I’m not going
soft. Now shoot the damn ball.”

Rob squinted at him, and Mark knew he wasn’t
buying the brush-off. And rightfully so. Mark was conflicted about
Karma. Ever since their last conversation, he had been thinking
about her a lot. Not an hour went by when his mind didn’t drift to
thoughts of her at least once, and every time, fond warmth wrapped
around his heart.

Something had clicked between them Friday
night. Revealing his childhood had built a bridge from his soul to
hers. They understood each other. He’d never had that before—a
woman who could relate and knew firsthand what it was like to be
bullied as a child, as well as the mental and emotional scars that
carried over into adulthood.

It had felt nice being able to talk to her
about his past. Karma didn’t judge him. She listened and related.
That wasn’t something Mark took lightly. But he didn’t want to
discuss it with Rob.

Thankfully, Rob dropped the subject and,
after a few more practice shots, they played two games of
one-on-one before taking a break.

Out of breath, Rob carried the ball to the
bench and sat down. He plopped the ball on the pavement beside him.
“Okay, level with me.” He shot Mark a look while wiping the sleeve
of his shirt across his forehead.

Mark glanced into his bag. “What are you
talking about?” But he had a feeling. The tension between them on
the court had been thick.

“I know your ass too well.” Rob cracked open
a bottle of water. “You sucked out there.” He gestured toward the
court. “It was hardly a contest. I never beat you, and I
kicked
your ass
.”

Mark started to protest, but Rob cut him off.

“No, Mark. Something’s up. You only play like
that when something’s bugging you, and even then, you don’t play
that
bad. You only play like that when you’ve been…” Rob
trailed off, but Mark knew what was coming. “When you’ve been
thinking about
her
, okay? I hate bringing her up, but it’s
true. You only play like shit when you’ve been thinking about
Carol. And today’s the worst. And now you’re smiling like a
lovesick kid when you talk about Karma.” Rob shook his head and
waved his arms. Water sloshed out of his bottle and onto the
ground, but he didn’t seem to notice. “So, level with me. What’s
going on?”

This was why he both loved and hated Rob. He
saw everything and never held back.

During the Carol fallout, Rob had been the
one to pick Mark up and put him back together. He had seen Mark at
his best and his worst, and he was still around. The guy was like
Velcro. He’d attached himself to Mark and would never leave him. He
was the one person Mark would always be able to trust and count
on.

Then Mark thought of Karma. He was beginning
to think he could trust and count on her, too. Especially after
their last conversation.

He cleared his throat and took a drink of
water. “I told Karma about Carol.”

“You what?” Rob’s eyes shot open.

“Just cool it.” Mark scowled and held up his
hand. “I didn’t tell her
everything
. Just enough.” He
swallowed a drink of water. “She’s different, okay? She’s not like
the others.”

Rob grumbled and bent over, elbows on knees.
“You’re fucking up a good thing, man.”

“Fucking up a good thing?”

“Yeah.” Rob shot him a foul look. “Unless
you’re falling for her.”

Mark only stared.

“Are you?” Rob’s gaze burned into Mark’s.