Good Karma (34 page)

“Oh, okay.”

“You sound disappointed.”

“No, just…” She forced herself to sound more
cheerful. “I’m just tired. But I’m glad you called.”

At least that much was true. She shouldn’t
have been so disappointed that he had left without stopping by
first. After all, he had made it clear right from the beginning
what this was between them and what it wasn’t. And what they
weren’t was boyfriend-girlfriend.

“I’ve got something I want you to work on
next week,” he said.

“An assignment?”

“Something like that.”

“Do I need to write this down?”

He laughed. “Only if you want to, but it’s
pretty simple.”

“Okay, shoot. What would the teacher like his
student to do while he’s out of town?”

“Well, besides the obvious training that he
is very eager for you to complete, he would like for you to start
talking to men. You know, flirting with them. That sort of
thing.”

She stiffened. “I thought you said you didn’t
want me to see other men while we’re together.”

“That’s right.”

“I don’t understand.”

He made a quiet noise like a soft laugh. “I
just want you to talk to them, not go out with them.”

Okay, she could see the difference, but she
was still confused. “Why?”

“Because you need to learn how to talk to
men…and preferably not tell them you’re a model.”

She covered her face with her free hand and
forced herself not to laugh. “You’re never going to let me forget
that, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, so I’m supposed to flirt with men for
the next week. You do know what you’re asking, right?” Of course he
did. Hadn’t Mark proven time and again that he knew her better than
she knew herself?

“I most certainly do.”

“So you know how hard it is for me to talk to
men and not stick my foot in my mouth, the night we met
notwithstanding.”

“Yes, which is precisely why I want you to do
it.”

She sighed, not feeling comfortable with this
assignment. She knew how to talk to men when she was just hanging
out with them, but she hadn’t the first idea how to actually flirt.
In the past, her meager attempts at flirting had been geek-worthy
disasters. She had come off more like Rain Man than an intelligent,
fully functioning adult.

“Karma? You’ve gotten quiet on me.”

“Yes. I’m just…”

“This assignment bothers you, doesn’t
it?”

“Yes.” She bowed her head.

“Why?”

“I’ve just never been good at talking to
men.”

“You talk to me just fine.”

“You’re different.”

“How so?”

“Because I know you.”

“You didn’t know me when we met.”

Mark had her there.

“Look,” he said. “Just talk to them. Be
yourself. Smile and say hi. If you’re at the store, ask a guy if he
can help you get something off the top shelf. Stuff like that.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Because it is.”

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Why is
this so important?”

He paused. It was just a tiny hesitation, but
Karma caught it. “Because when I leave in a few months, I want to
make sure you’ll be okay.”

A tiny knot of sadness broke inside her
heart.

When he left.

In only a few months, Mark would be gone, and
she would be alone. Of course he would want her to find someone
else. This was his way of teaching her how.

“I see,” she said.

Another pause. “But I’m not gone, yet.” He
almost sounded a little sad himself, as well as a touch
possessive.

She had to keep reminding herself not to get
too attached. Mark didn’t plan on staying. He couldn’t have made
himself any clearer on that point than he had.

What would happen to her when he left? Would
she revert to her old ways, or would she remain the woman Mark was
bringing out from her shell? Thinking about the near future made
her sad. She didn’t want to be reminded that he wouldn’t stay in
Clover forever.

Meeting Mark had been the most incredible
wake-up call. He had a way of unraveling her defenses and making
her feel safe with just a glance, with only a word or a touch. He
was whimsical and playful, but overflowed with grace, dignity, and
power. She felt comfortable around him, which wasn’t something she
could say about other men she had been attracted to. She and Mark
clicked. He got her, and she felt like she got him…that they
understood one another. How would she find that connection in
another man after he was gone? She was beginning to think she
wouldn’t be able to.

“Karma? Are you there?” he said quietly.

She hadn’t said anything for several seconds.
“Yes, I’m here.” She settled her head on the back cushion of the
couch.

“Are you okay?”

“Just…I don’t know. I guess I just wish you
were here.”

He paused. “Open the door.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Open the door.”

She glanced over her shoulder at the door,
then, suddenly hopeful, sprang off the couch. When she pulled the
door open, Mark stood on the other side, his phone against his
ear.

“You didn’t really think I was going to leave
without saying good-bye, did you?”

A smile crept over her face, and she lowered
her phone as he stepped inside.

He took her phone and set it next to his on
the arm of the couch, then cupped her face in both hands. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she whispered, a split second before
his lips came down over hers.

As he swept her away on a sea of warmth and
bliss, all her worries and fears dissipated. This was what he did
to her. Every time they were together, there wasn’t room for
sadness and worry.

There was just Mark and her. Kissing.

And once more, everything was perfect.

* * *

Mark kissed the crown of Karma’s head as he
wrapped his arms around her shoulders on the couch. She snuggled
into the crook of his body.

He really had planned to leave for Chicago
tonight, but the flight had gotten in late, and he was just too
tired to make the drive. So, he had rescheduled tomorrow’s lunch
meeting with his boss to one o’clock instead of eleven so he could
drive to Chicago in the morning. Tonight, he would spend a little
time with Karma. He’d begun to miss her and really didn’t think he
could go a whole week without seeing her.

There was something about Karma that called
to him. When he was with her, he felt safe. She warmed him in all
the right places, and he found that he smiled more than usual
around her.

Honestly, his suggestion that she start
talking to other men was his way of putting a little distance
between them, because he was growing too close. He couldn’t afford
to fall for her, because he had meant it when he’d told her that
when his assignment at Solar was finished, so was their
relationship. Falling for Karma wasn’t an option, and he couldn’t
let her lose sight of the inevitability of his departure.

Even so, now that he’d told her to talk to
other men, he wanted to take it back. He didn’t like how it felt
when he thought about her flirting with others while he was gone.
Maybe she would find a man more to her liking and end their affair
early.

The idea of that happening should have filled
him with relief, because then he wouldn’t have to be the one to end
it later. Instead, thinking she would break things off with him
first rattled his heart.

He pulled her a little closer and kissed the
top of her head again.

“You’re touchy-feely tonight,” she said,
wrapping her arms more securely around his waist. He liked how she
held him as though she would never let go.

“I…” The words
missed you
caught in
his throat. Thinking them and saying them were two different
things. One was okay, while the other was a path he couldn’t go
down. “I just, uh…I just want you to know that I know how hard it
is to talk to strangers. I know this makes you uncomfortable,
because when I did the same thing, it was uncomfortable for me,
too.” His excuse sounded silly, but it was a decent save from going
down the path of the emotionally involved.

“You?” She sat up and faced him.

“Yes. I know it might seem hard to believe,
but at one time, I was pretty shy, just like you. He tapped her
nose with the tip of his finger. “But trust me, it gets easier to
talk to the opposite sex the more you do it.”

“My dad always taught me to never talk to
strangers.”

“In which case, you and I never would have
met, and I wouldn’t be here now.” He swept his palm over her silky
hair. He couldn’t stop touching her. “And that would be a crying
shame, wouldn’t it?”

She laughed. “Touché.”

He plucked her hand from her lap and twined
his fingers around hers. “Exactly. And I like being here with
you.”

“Me, too, but I simply can’t imagine you
being shy.”

“Why not?” He laid his cheek on the cushion
and gazed into her luminous eyes. Being with her was so damn easy.
He didn’t have to force anything and could just be himself.

She slid down and placed her head on the
cushion beside him, mirroring him. They were like lovers in bed,
staring at each other after making love. “You just don’t strike me
as the shy type.”

“Well, I was.” He tucked his leg between both
of hers as she curled toward him. “I’ve never told you about my
childhood, have I?”

“Not much.” Her gaze filled with curiosity,
as if she knew he was about to invite her in to his secret world.
One not many were privy to.

“Well, I was brutally teased.” He sighed.
“You know how you told me about how the kids teased you?”

She nodded, growing more serious.

“I had a similar experience.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “What
happened?”

“Remember when I told you that my parents are
dancers, and that my mom taught me how to sew?”

“Yes.”

“Well, she also made me take dance
lessons.”

Fond adoration shone from Karma’s eyes.
“Dance?”

“Yes. Mostly Latin style, but ballet, too.”
He remembered the endless hours he spent in the studio during
summer vacations and how, when school resumed in the fall, so did
the teasing. “That didn’t go over well at school,” he said.

“Did you have to wear a leotard?” she
joked.

“Yes. The slippers, too.”

She giggled. “I bet you looked adorable.”

“I looked gay.”

Karma laughed.

“I have nothing against gay people,” he said
with a chuckle. “But when you’re not gay and people think you are,
it can be a problem.”

“I can imagine.” Her amused expression was a
fraction short of comical.

“You’re not helping.”

“I’m sorry.” She pursed her lips and snuggled
closer. “Please, go on.”

“By the time I was in junior high,” he said,
“the other kids teased me on a daily basis. And in Chicago, kids
can be rough. I got beat up a lot, but my parents just told me to
tough it out. That they would stop giving me a hard time if I
ignored them. I wanted to take karate classes or something to teach
me how to fight back, but they wouldn’t let me. So, I went to
school, got called a faggot or a fruitcake or worse, got pushed and
shoved in the halls between classes. I was miserable.”

Those had been rough years.

Karma offered a compassionate smile. “I’m
sorry.” She kissed his cheek. His skin warmed where her lips
touched him. If anyone could understand what he had gone through,
it was Karma.

He brushed her hair affectionately off her
face then continued. “When Rob and I became friends, we both got
teased. The other kids called us lovers and taunted us. They called
us all kinds of names. Why Rob put himself through that just to be
friends with me always baffled me. I know now it’s because he got
teased, too. He was a pudgy kid.” Funny how the passage of time
could change so much. Mark was now a successful businessman and Rob
had leaned out and lost his baby fat in high school. “Rob saw how
badly I was teased and could relate. Nobody else wanted to be our
friends, so we became friends with one another. Like attracts like,
right?”

“I never thought of it like that, but that
makes sense.”

“Anyway, except for Rob, I hated everything
about going to school. Every day was hell. I didn’t talk to anyone
before I met Rob, and even after I met him, he was the only person
I talked to. Even when I became a big basketball star in high
school I didn’t talk to anyone. Some of my teammates still thought
I was gay and kept their distance, but they respected my skills on
the court enough not to make fun of me anymore.”

Karma’s fingers squeezed his. This was a side
of him he had never let her see…his vulnerable side with the
painful past. But he wanted her to know she wasn’t alone, and that
she wasn’t the only one who had demons to face.

“Anyway, I couldn’t talk to girls.” He
chuffed. “I remember this one girl, Cassie. God, I had such a crush
on her in seventh grade. I tried asking her to the spring dance
with me. What a disaster.”

“What happened?”

“She laughed. And not just laughed, but told
all her friends so that they could laugh, too. It was pretty
traumatizing. I’d put myself out there to this girl who I was crazy
about, and she turned my life into a living hell. It took until my
junior year to try again.”

“Kids can be mean.”

“For a guy, it can be pretty deflating. So,
yeah, if I hadn’t been scared enough about talking to girls before,
Cassie made it terrifying. I was afraid of the rejection and of
looking stupid…being laughed at.” He met her gaze. The pain of old
memories haunted him. “I was seventeen before I kissed a girl and
eighteen before I had sex. And
that
was a joke. I mentioned
that before. I was awful. Like your Brian, fumbling around like an
idiot. She knew more than I did, and I spent myself in less than
five minutes.” He paused, not wanting to remember the dark times
but unable to avoid them. “I really liked that girl, too, but she
ended up dumping me during prom.”