Good (31 page)

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Authors: S. Walden

BOOK: Good
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I walked to the girls’ bathroom and pulled out my cell phone. I opened my text messaging.

 

Me: I need to leave. Now.

Avery: What’s wrong?

Me: Really bad day.

Avery: Can you hang on until after fourth? I’ve got a test.

Me: Yes.

Avery: K.

 

I wiped the tears off my cell phone screen and placed my phone back in my bag. Then I cried for the rest of first period until the bell sounded.

 

 

“I have to tell you something,” I said, sitting beside Avery on a bench outside the auto shop where Gavin worked. He was getting off in fifteen minutes, and we planned to hang out at his place.

“Is this about Mystery Man?” she asked, licking her chocolate ice cream cone.

“Yes.”

“All right. Spill it, even though we’re totally breaking the rules. I still can’t believe I brought you here,” Avery said.

I couldn’t believe it either. Avery had kept me completely separate from her world with Gavin until today. I guess she felt sorry for me when she approached me at my locker after fourth period. I tried to hold it in, but I burst into tears immediately when I saw her. She grabbed my book bag and purse and led me out the side entrance of the building. I was surprised when she took me to the auto shop.

“Avery, you have to swear to God you won’t say a thing,” I said.

“Cadence. How long have we been doing this little arrangement?”

“A while.”

“And what have you learned about me in all that time?” she asked.

“Pretty much nothing,” I confessed.

“Exactly. If I don’t want people to know my business, then they don’t know it. And if I have a friend who shares her business with me and doesn’t want others to know it, then they’ll never know it,” Avery said. “Look at my boyfriend, for Pete’s sake. You think my parents know anything about him?”

I shook my head.

“Then relax. Your secrets are safe with me,” Avery said, biting into the rim of her cone.

“I’m seeing Mr. Connelly,” I blurted.

Avery dropped her ice cream cone. “Damnit, Cadence! A little warning!”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

She scowled at me and then looked at the ground. “Man, I don’t even know what to address first! I can’t . . . you’ve gotta . . . what the . . .? Look at my ice cream!”

I looked down at her feet.

“I really wanted to eat that!” She kicked the dirt-crusted cone.

“I’m sorry about your ice cream. I’ll buy you another.”

She looked at me again. “Cadence, I cannot
believe
you’re sleeping with your teacher!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “First, I like how the ice cream won out. Second, we’re not having sex.”

“Yet.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not just a physical thing. I really like him. I . . . I think I might love him.”

“What about him?” Avery asked.

“I think he feels the same about me, but we got into an argument yesterday, and today he made fun of me in front of the class,” I said, feeling my eyes water again. “That’s why I needed to leave.”

“What a jerk,” Avery said.

I nodded.

“How did he make fun of you?” she asked.

I wiped under my eyes. “He made me go to the board to work a math problem he knew I didn’t understand.”

“Freaking ass! Why would he do that to you?”

“Because I told him we were over. Well sort of. I mean, I kind of left it hanging.”

“Ohh. So you made him angry,” Avery said.

“I guess,” I whispered.

“And if he had that kind of reaction, it means he really likes you and wants to be with you.”

“He humiliated me, Avery! How does that show me he likes me?”

“Cadence, men have pride. It’s like one of their main characteristics or something. And you hurt his. I’m not saying what he did was right, but at least it shows the amount of power you have over him. That’s got to make you feel slightly better, huh?”

I was confused. I didn’t think I had any power over Mark. And I certainly didn’t want our relationship to devolve into a power struggle. I didn’t know much about it, but I was certain a relationship like that wasn’t healthy.

“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore,” I said.

“Too bad. You’re in a relationship with your teacher. It needs to be discussed,” Avery replied.

I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off.

“Now, who initiated it?”

“For someone who doesn’t want me to know about her secret life, you sure are nosy about mine,” I said. “And he did.”

“How?”

“He gave me his handkerchief.”

Avery looked at me flatly. “His handkerchief? This guy sounds like a dork.”

I laughed again. “He’s not a dork,” I began, and then I spilled my guts to her. She listened the entire time, interjecting here and there with questions as I explained his handkerchief, and the lunch he bought me, and the time he wiped my hands and face clean.

“Okay, that’s hot,” Avery said. “And I never thought anything involving a wet wipe could be hot. That man loves you, Cadence.”

My heart gave a jolt. “He does?”

“You cannot be that blind,” Avery said.

“If he loves me, then why did he treat me so badly in class this morning?”

Avery huffed. “Get a clue, girl! Love doesn’t mean you’re not gonna get mad sometimes. Or say hurtful things. Or do really stupid things. We’re human, hello? We’re not perfect.”

I looked down at my lap.

“Look at me,” Avery demanded, and I obeyed. “Cadence, you cannot be so naïve as to think that love is never gonna hurt or that relationships are always good all the time.”

“Of course I’m not!” I cried, offended. “But he humiliated me in front of the entire class!”

Avery nodded. “And I can guarantee you he feels like shit about it. He felt like shit as soon as he did it.”

I grunted.

“Just wait for the apology. It’s coming,” Avery said.

“It better be a good one,” I muttered.

Just then my cell phone rang. I pulled it out of my purse and looked at the screen. Mark. I ignored the call.

Avery eyed me curiously as I slid the phone back in my bag.

“What?” I asked.

“Just like a girl,” she said.

“Yeah, and guess what? You’re one, too,” I snapped.

“Oh, I don’t disagree. I ignore Gavin’s calls all the time. Even when I’m
not
mad at him,” she said, nudging me. I giggled.

“Okay, so why are you letting me meet Gavin?” I asked.

“Killing two birds with one stone,” she replied.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m being there for you emotionally and getting to see my man at the same time,” she said. “Plus, I thought it was high time you met him anyway. I figured eventually we’d have to start sharing a little bit about our secret lives.”

I nodded.

“Just to make sure this great big web of lies we’ve created stays intact,” she explained.

I nodded again.

“Thanks for sharing about Mr. Connelly. You know you can trust me, right?”

I knew I could trust Avery. She’d let them burn her at the stake before she told. She was just that kind of person. Loyal. Trustworthy. A friend, perhaps?

I nodded for a third time.

“Use your words, Cadence.”

I grinned. “Yes, Avery. I trust you.”

Gavin emerged from the garage, and Avery jumped up to greet him.

“Hey, baby,” she said, leaning in for a good, long tongue-tied kiss. I averted my eyes. “I’d jump on you but you’re greasy.”

“Mmm. Jump on me. I’ll wash your clothes,” Gavin said. “I’ll strip you down naked and wash your clothes.”

Oh God. Maybe I should have gone to the record store.

“Stop, Gavin!” Avery squealed. “I want you to meet someone.”

I finally looked up at Gavin and smiled. He looked exactly as I expected: grease-stained white T-shirt stretched taut over formidable muscles. Ripped jeans. Messy blond hair with bangs that fell over his eyes. He looked like he belonged in an auto shop. And I have to admit that he was pretty hot. Just not my type.

“Hey, I know you!” Gavin said. “What’s up, Cay-Cay?”

Cay-Cay? What the hell was that?

As though Avery could read my mind, she said, “Oh, I call you Cay-Cay sometimes when I talk about you to Gavin.”

“Why are you talking about me?” I asked. And then I shook my head. “No no. Why the hell do you call me ‘Cay-Cay’? I freaking hate that.”

“I know. And that’s why,” Avery said, grinning.

“Fine. I’ll give you a stupid name,” I said. I looked up at the clouds and squinted. “How about ‘Avers’?”

“Totally love it,” Avery replied.

“Whatever. It’s stupid and you know it,” I snapped.

“I’ll be Gavvy,” Gavin suggested.

We laughed. It was probably the dumbest conversation I’d ever had. And it’s exactly what I needed to feel better. I laughed so hard I didn’t hear my phone buzz again. And I didn’t hear it buzz when the three of us—Gavvy, Avers, and me, Cay-Cay—went for pizza. Only when I got home did I see the dozens of missed calls. From Mark. He left no messages, and I was glad. If he apologized via voicemail, I’d lose it.

 

***

 

I averted my eyes when Mr. Connelly walked through the classroom door. The room fell silent immediately. Students seemed scared of him, I guess because of his little power performance the previous day. I had managed to forget all about it for several hours yesterday while I hung out with Avery and Gavin, who were the cutest and most annoying couple I’d ever seen.

“Good morning,” Mr. Connelly said, addressing the class.

A few murmured “good mornings” back, but mostly everyone stayed quiet. Absolute fear.

Mr. Connelly sighed and pulled a stool close to the front row. Students leaned as far away from him as they could. Mr. Connelly sat down and scanned the room.

“I’m a freaking jerk,” he said. “I mean, I was a jerk yesterday. And I owe you all an apology for the way I treated Cadence.” He looked at me, and I froze. “And I especially owe you an apology, Cadence. I like to think I’m a pretty nice, fair teacher, and yesterday I wasn’t any of those things. I treated you unfairly, I abused my power as a teacher to humiliate you, and I was unkind.”

Everyone seemed to be holding their breath.

“I will never treat you like that again,” he said, eyes locked on mine before he addressed the entire class once more. “And I will never treat any of you like that. I don’t want you to be scared of me. I don’t want you to fear my class. I want you to feel like you can come to me and ask for help.”

And then everyone expelled the breath they were holding at the same time. Students relaxed, and the tension vanished.

“Please forgive me, Cadence,” Mr. Connelly said, looking at me once more.

I nodded even though I was still hurt. But I was also impressed that a grown man and teacher had the balls to admit his wrong in front of an entire group of students and ask for forgiveness. It might have been a terrible mistake—showing vulnerability in front of seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds—but something told me that the class would respect him more because of his apology.

 

***

 

I stood in his doorway unable or unwilling to walk inside. He stared at me shamefaced.

“I’m so sorry,” he said softly.

I walked in then and closed the door.

“Cadence, I am so sorry for the way I treated you. It was disgusting. Just disgusting.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

He looked shocked.

“I . . . I was manipulative on the phone. I said those things to make you angry—those things about not being able to touch me anymore and how we probably shouldn’t be together. I didn’t mean any of them. I said them to be hurtful.”

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