Good Fortune (9781416998631) (53 page)

“Don't explain to me, Anna. I'd let you in here even in the early hours of the morning—you know that. I'm up, the baby's awake. We haven't seen you in a while, and Little Sue's been asking about you.”

I stepped into the house behind Mrs. Rosa. I had errands Mama Bessie needed me to run, but I had news for Mrs. Rosa and wanted to share it all before I began my day.

Mrs. Rosa returned to her desk and to the plate of food that sat there. I saw Little Sue tumbling around on the floor, amusing herself. I laughed at the spectacle.

“Auntie numba two!” the little girl said, running over to me and throwing her arms around my legs. I twirled her around, then let her continue playing.

“Mrs. Rosa, I wanted to tell you about the school building that's being built, but I'm sure Anita's already shared that.”

Mrs. Rosa nodded.

“Have you gone by to see the plot of land? They haven't done much with it, but oh, I feel so good inside, like … like I know for sure this is the right thing to do for Hadson!”

Mrs. Rosa returned my smile. “I haven't seen it yet, Anna, but I will. And I can't tell you how proud I am of you—you and Anita. I know if Caldwell were here, he'd feel the same. Actually, speaking of your school, and of Caldwell, I have something for you.” She hopped up and left the room. When she came back, she was grasping something.

“He didn't make it to give this to you, but he wanted you to have it.” She held out a glass jar filled with coins.

“Mrs. Rosa, I can't take this. You need it!” I said, without moving to take it.

“No. We have what we need, Anna, all we need. Caldwell started saving this for the school. You should have seen the man when I told him of your idea. He talked of what you've done for this community with a pride he hardly even attached to his own work. So use it for the school.”

I shook my head.

“Mrs. Rosa, this school has already received so many blessings. I don't need this to keep it moving forward! You keep it, if not for yourself, then as my gift to Little Sue.”

Mrs. Rosa smiled at me and shook her head. “You know, you've grown so much in such a short time.”

“Well, thank you, Mrs. Rosa.”

“It's the truth. But please”—she extended the jar toward me—“accept Caldwell's gift. He left us with money, Anna—he knew he had to.” I took it from her, and let it rest in the crook of my arm.

“How did you earn your money before, Mrs. Rosa?”

She sat back down.

“You were paid for tutoring?” I asked, perplexed.

“Of course I was! That was my job.”

“But I didn't pay you anything.”

Her smile was broad and warm. A sight I hadn't seen in a long time.

“You were different. You paid me with your will to learn and your success. Peggy's folks paid, and the old man took care of Anita. I believe they're related some way, but I've never found out her story. Perhaps if someone hadn't pushed either of those girls to get educated, they would not have.”

“What about Peggy?” I asked.

“When I stopped for a while, her mother put her in the school in Dayton—the same one Caldwell told me he first saw you at. After that, she didn't want to come back.”

“Well, Mrs. Rosa, I actually came here to ask you something about working. You think, maybe, you'd enjoy teaching? Anita and I spoke about it. We thought, with Mr. Caldwell not being here and all, you might enjoy sitting in a classroom with plenty of students.” Mrs. Rosa averted her eyes at the mention of her husband.

“You'd like me to teach?”

I nodded. Her hands, which had been busy, now sat motionless before her.

“But you don't need me, do you?”

“Word has spread about the school, Mrs. Rosa, especially with the building being under way and all. I have almost every
child in town coming to learn. Not only that, but the church funds dedicated to this school are split so that Anita and I receive a certain portion of that money. And some parents sacrifice some of their hard-earned money every month to pay me for doing this. But now, see, some of the grown folks in Hadson want to learn, and they offered to pay me, but I can't do all of that on my own, Mrs. Rosa. I wanted to know if you wouldn't mind coming to teach them.”

Mrs. Rosa absorbed my request before stepping over to me and throwing her arms around my neck. Little Sue laughed with delight, seeing her mother's sudden excitement.

“Anna, Anna! This is perfect!” She, too, laughed. “My heart has always been in teaching, tutoring. But without Caldwell as my connection to the world, it seemed unlikely that I could continue. I thought I would have to work in a house in the city to provide us with income. Anna, you don't know what this means to me. Thank you!”

I let my thoughts drift into their own patterns. The tension that I had felt locked up in my chest for weeks had been alleviated.

Walking back down the road that morning, I thought about how there seemed to be a place for Mrs. Rosa in my heart right next to Mathee and Mary. I thought of my brother and of Florence, who would lay down their lives for me. That was love: There was a freedom in that.

I let the tears fall as I thought of Mr. Caldwell and John, who died for causes they believed in. That was determination against all odds: There was freedom in that.

I held my hands to the sky, remembering that, a few short years ago, I couldn't even pick up a pen to write the letter
a
. That was education: There was freedom in that.

And my feet, they carried me where I wanted to go, bound to no chains of bondage: There was freedom in that.

I smiled to the skies as I made my way back home, thanking God.

That moment gave me peace inside my soul: In that, too, there was freedom.

CHAPTER
 
50 

T
HE OLD MAN DIED BEFORE HE COULD SEE THE FINISHED PRODUCT
of his investment. It took a little longer than expected to actually purchase the land and, then, to actually build the school. But by the middle of July, the stacked wood and cleared land had been transformed into a small but beautiful school building. God was answering my prayers.

One afternoon, walking back to the house from the place in the yard where school had been held, I stopped when I saw a figure sitting on a bench. It was Daniel.

I collapsed next to him, tired from the day's work.

“The school's done,” I said to him, wiping away the raindrops that fell on my eyelids.

“Sho' is. Lookin' nice, too.”

I turned toward him.

“What's wrong, Daniel? And don't say ‘nothing,' brother, I know you better than that.”

“It's 'bout time fo' me to get married,” he said simply, but I could tell he wanted to hear what I had to say.

“I think that time was a few months ago.”

His mouth laughed, but the rest of him didn't. “Ya,” he
said, nodding. “Woulda married her a long time ago, but she tell me, ‘wait till September.'”

I laughed. “What's so special about September that makes it any different from March or May?”

He shrugged, then grinned. “She's jus' like that. You know her!”

“Sure I do.” I smiled back.

“It's a different thing, Anna, likin' somebody like that. Things I used to think an' say, I don't really think an' say no more. Lots a things I wouldn't do fo' no one 'cept you an' Mama, now it's the same wit her. An' it's a different kinda feelin'.”

I felt starved for that feeling, too. But this was not my time to talk, it was his.

“Then you gets to thinkin' 'bout a family, an' makin' money to buy Flo things she needs, an' then …” He laughed at himself. “
Then
you gets to thinkin' 'bout how a chile gonna come round. You think 'bout him growin' inside, an' bein' born, an' him bein' set in your hands fo' the first time. You look down at a little face, thinkin' you starin' at your own self in a mirror! Changes you, Anna. Cain't think like I used to. Gonna be callin' myself a husband fo' my Flo, an' gonna be a pappy fo' a little boy or girl gonna grow up an' ask, ‘Auntie Anna, my daddy, was he a bad chile when he was my age?'”

I laughed with my brother, but then settled into seriousness.

“And then it gots me thinkin' 'bout my pappy, what he was like, how he treat womenfolk, if he felt like I did when
he seen Mama. Got me thinkin', what would he be like if he was still livin'? What would he say to my children? What would he say to me? You think he be proud've me, the man I am?” Daniel asked me solemnly.

“Of course he would, Daniel. Of course.”

He sighed and stared at the mud running between our feet. After a while, he took his shirt, which lay across his lap, and threw it in my face. I laughed, pulled it away, and hit him with it. We could've been little children again, running around barefoot back on the plantation in Tennessee.

“It's for the rain,” he said.

“Well, then, don't throw it in my face like that!” I laughed some more, and held his shirt over my head as he continued.

“Then, Anna, I think about you.”

“Me? For what, Daniel?”

He glanced at me quickly, then away again. “Jus' a little worried 'bout you, that's all.” I would have laughed at his comment, but his face was stonelike.

“Worried? Daniel—”

“I can hear you, Anna, sayin' ‘I'll be fine.' An' I know you will.”

“So, what you so worried about?”

“Anna, same's you know me like nobody else do, I know you jus' like that, too. I can tell something's wrong deep down, an' I know what it is too. It's that way you carry yo'self when a male is wit you that makes me understand what it is.”

“And so, what is it?” I asked him, interested to know.

“It's John. Don't know if he's still in your thoughts. Think you always keep him in your prayers. But I know, with no doubt, he's still rushin' through your blood.” I listened to the rain and knew that what Daniel was saying to me was true. The thoughts of John weren't so painful anymore, but somewhere, there was that longing, still burning, that I never had the heart to let go of. Daniel saw straight past everything else and right to that place inside me.

“Daniel, if it's running through my blood like you say, I don't think I will ever be able to wash it away. But that doesn't mean I can't make a decent life for myself. I have folks who love me and care for me. I have my school, and that's what really holds my heart—that place where my happiness lies. Seeing the joy on the children's faces is what keeps me alive. That's all I need right now. Of course it's been hard knowing that I'll never … I'll never see John again. But I think God has given me this path to walk on in order to change things for the better, and I am grateful for that.”

Daniel looked at me, and I could see he was convinced. I even felt, for the moment, that I had convinced myself.

“You know, Anna, I wonder sometimes why freedom can't just be real freedom. Why can't we live like white folks, if we just as free as them? I don't understand. They snatch my pride there in the city, and it hurts … it hurts bad, Anna. But you know what? It hurts even more to know that I cain't do nothin' about it. I cain't even be a man, sometimes, fo' the people I love. It's like we walked from one kinda bondage, Anna, to another, an' I don't like it at all. But there's little I can do.”

I smiled softly, thinking of the different way Mrs. Rosa, taught me to look at freedom.

“Daniel, what is freedom, really? It seems like freedom means having the ability to call yourself master, and to live just as any other person does. But don't you remember? Can't you hear Mary, sometimes, explaining what true freedom is, how true freedom comes about? Our real freedom is in the heart and the mind.”

I put my hand on his shoulder. I understood that whether Mary's words were there for our inspiration or not, the restlessness and anger that Daniel felt mirrored what I felt sometimes and what most of us in this black community thought. But we both knew that no matter what was done, the love that existed between us as family and as friends could not be taken away.