Good-bye and Amen (15 page)

I planned the menus for two days. I drove to Union for supplies. I made egg salad and gazpacho and went to a spe
cial store for Norman's favorite kind of beer, and got out the coolers and pillows and linens for the double bunk. I went down to the yacht club to bring the boat to the dock for water and ice and gas, and it was gone.

 

Syl Conary
Mrs. Faithful came up to the manager's shack. She looked a little druv up, but she was perfectly polite. An angel from heaven compared to her mother. She says, “Syl, where is the
Rolling Stone
?” And I say, “Camden by now, I expect.” And she says, “Camden?” And I says, “Charlesie Applegate took her down this morning so Mutt Dodge can race her in the Retired Skippers' tomorrow.” “I see,” she says. And after a while, she says Mutt Dodge was a great friend of her father's and he'd be pleased. I told her I hope it wasn't a problem and she said no, of course not, she was just surprised.

 

Eleanor Applegate
We were playing bridge with Lincoln and Janet Cluett Saturday night when Charlesie, Jeff Pease, and Auggie and Mutt Dodge walked in. They were still in their sailing clothes and Mutt was holding a trophy. Well, I just screamed.

 

Lincoln Cluett
We all crowded around them. I said, “You won? You won the Retired Skippers' Race in a wooden boat?” Mutt looked so lit up I thought he might levitate. “I lay it all to my tactician,” he said, meaning Charlesie.

 

Charlesie Applegate
You should have seen it! The breeze died after we rounded the windward mark. Of course the plastic boats were all way ahead of us and we saw their
chutes go flat one after another—they had sailed right into a hole. Mutt had me up on the bow with glasses scanning for wind. We still had some way on, which the leaders didn't. I could see there was some texture on the water over on the other side of Egg Rock, so we made for that.

 

Eleanor Applegate
Mutt said, “We went spooking past the fleet while they lay becalmed. By the time they finally got some air back, we were around the leeward mark, doing eight knots to windward and we could see the finish line.” That's a lo-o-ong speech for him, but he was grinning to beat the band.

 

Bobby Applegate
There were high fives all around, and El went out to the kitchen to heat up some dinner for them. Mutt and Auggie said they just came to drop Charlesie off, they had to get Jeff home and go tell their wives, but we made them stay for a glass of champagne. What pleased me as much as anything was seeing the new respect Mutt and Auggie had for Charlesie. Big difference from the way the summer started.

 

Eleanor Applegate
All I could think was how thrilled Papa would have been. I know Mutt was thinking it too, but neither of us said a word about it. He tried to give the trophy to me. “Now El,” he said, “it's your boat, I was just the nut holding the tiller.” Bobby said, “Mutt, it's called the Retired
Skippers
' Race.” “Well, if you're sure,” he said, “the wife will be some tickled.” And they went off. How old is Mutt, I wonder? Got to be late eighties…

We gave up cards and sat around the dining room table
while Charlesie ate and told us the whole story again, from starting gun to the look on the faces of the fleet hotshots as the old
Stone
went by them.

Then Charlesie went to shower and get ready to go out and find his friends. We finally finished our rubber, and the Cluetts went home. Charlesie came down and we sent him off into the night to howl, except two minutes later he was back inside, looking as if someone had punched him. All the wind was knocked right out of his sails. You know they say you're only as happy as your unhappiest child? When Charlesie gets knocked down he gets
so
down, and it takes him so long to climb out of it, it tears the heart right out of me.

So that was the end of that happy evening.

 

Bobby Applegate
He'd found a letter in his car. From Monica.

How
could
she? I mean, really.

 

Eleanor Applegate
He wouldn't show it to us. He said it wasn't that bad, it was only she was mad he hadn't told her he had plans for the boat, since she's half owner. Charlesie was upset because he knew he should have told her, but he hadn't thought of it and certainly no one else had either. The boat wouldn't be in the water at all if it weren't for Charlesie, and whose fault was it that it was late? Plus, it had been years since she'd taken that boat anywhere by herself,
none
of us had thought she might want it. I felt terrible for Charlesie, and frankly I was furious at Monica.

 

Bobby Applegate
I said to El, “Don't even think about talking to your sister about this. If either of you says things you
shouldn't, we'll be years getting over it.” Mostly I wanted my wife to calm down enough to sleep or we'd all have hell to pay. I told her to go sit and read a book and I'd build her a fire and bring her some tea, and tomorrow I'd talk to Monica myself.

 

Eleanor Applegate
After a while Charlesie came downstairs again, said he felt better and was going out after all, so I began to settle down. But when someone takes your child's joy away, don't you just want to rip their throats out?

 

Bobby Applegate
Nora told us Monica and Norman had gone hiking on Mount Desert and spent the night at the Asticou. The next day I was waiting for her at Leeway when she came back from driving Norman to the afternoon plane. She puttered in and out for a while, hanging things up, looking for some keys, offering me things to eat and drink. I asked how her weekend had gone, and she said it would have been better if she'd been able to get Norman out of range of where his cell phone worked. I wasn't having any of that.

I waited her out and she finally came and sat down. We sat for a little bit. I wanted her to figure out for herself why I was there, though really I think she knew it the minute she saw me.

I said, “Monica, when you're upset with one of our children, don't you think you should come to us before you light their hair on fire?” She showed me her poker face. She said, “If you had something to say to Edith, I'd expect you to say it to her. It was between me and Charlesie.”

I said, “First thing: What upsets our children upsets all of us, very much, so it wasn't just between the two of you. Second thing: Edith is a young adult, and I still don't believe you'd like it one bit if I ripped her up and down, even if she deserved it. And Charlesie is still a teenager. He's having enough trouble growing up, without the people who are supposed to love him knocking the pins out from under him.”

She asked if he showed us the letter. I said, “No, he wouldn't. I think he was trying to protect
you
, by the way. And he said it wasn't that bad, but we have to go by how much your anger upset him. Which was very much.”

She said, “I wasn't angry! I was very disappointed!”

I said, “And now you're all over it and he feels like hammered shit. Why didn't you
talk
to him instead of leaving him a letter?” She said he was already gone when she went to see him. I asked why she didn't wait till he got back, and she said because she was upset. And I said, “A letter, Monica? Sitting on the seat of his car like a poison toad waiting for him, while you're all over your snit and on to the next thing? From you, of all people?”

She didn't look very happy. Finally she said, “And what do you expect me to do?” I said, “I hope you'll apologize to him.” She said, “I don't know if I can.” So I went home.

 

Eleanor Applegate
By the way—had she told Charlesie that
she
planned to use the boat? I don't remember taking
that
message…

 

Monica Faithful
I had a horrible night. Nora settled in after supper to work on her archive. She told me about Mutt
winning the Retired Skippers', and how excited and proud everyone was of Charlesie, so I got the picture pretty good of what I'd done. I really can't talk about it.

 

Charlesie Applegate
Aunt Nika was waiting for me at the yacht club when I came in from the
Stone
the next afternoon. She said she was very sorry about the letter, and I said, no, like, she was right, I should have told her, and I was embarrassed. She said she was proud of us that we won, and how happy Grandpapa would be if he was watching from his cloud, yada yada. I mean, he would, I know. Then she asked if it would be fun if she and Nora and I planned a surprise birthday party for Mom? Like, would I help her? Mom would be really surprised; since she was turning fifty-eight, she wouldn't think anything special was coming. I said cool with me if Nora's up for it.

 

Monica Faithful
That gave us two and a half weeks. We would do it at Leeway, of course. Bobby looked thoughtful about it, but he said he was in. He'd keep El on the water all day, and tell her he was taking her down to the Gray Goose Inn for dinner. I put Charlesie in charge of finding a band, and Nora on decorations. I hired a caterer. I called Cinder and Marta, her best friends since boarding school, and they promised to come. Marta had to come from France. I even got Rufus Maitland to stay, although he was due to leave for Islamabad that week. Rufus was Eleanor's first love. He's never married, in spite of being approximately the handsomest man you ever saw. He speaks eight languages, that I know of. He's always off for years, living in trouble
spots, where he pretends he sells farm equipment, and we pretend we believe him.

 

Josslyn Moss
Nika
did
call us in California and ask if she could give this birthday party in August at Leeway, and Jimmy was all for it. Why shouldn't he be?
He
wasn't going to have to change the sheets or bake the cake. But I pictured maybe a dinner party, not a fucking bar mitzvah. Also, I assumed Monica would move to the back of the house when we got there, since she'd had the front for a month. But no. She seemed totally surprised at the thought. She was settled in the best guest room, and Norman was coming, and he preferred the front rooms because the ceilings were higher and he's tall. Please.

I said we'd take Sydney and Laurus's room, and she said, Fine, but Jimmy didn't want to be out of earshot of the kids. I said they could all sleep in the room across the hall, and he said, No, we'd just gotten Boedie to sleep in her own bed, if we put her in with her brothers she'd end up back in bed with us. So we took the rooms in the back. Again.

 

Monica Faithful
Boedie had an earache when the young Mosses got here, and was very whiny. I offered to move to the back rooms but Jimmy said there was no need, that Boedie would sleep better in rooms that didn't get morning sun and they wanted to be close to her in case she needed them at night. Adam and Alison were coming back to surprise Eleanor, hiding out with me until the night of the party, so that was just as well, they could have their same rooms back.

 

The Leeway Cottage Guestbook
August 2, 1999. Arrived after a long trip, tired but happy to be here. Shirley had left chicken pie and blueberry muffins for supper and the children roasted marshmallows in the fireplace for dessert. Everyone had hot baths except Boedie; Virgil had convinced her that the bathtubs were alive, because of their claw feet. Joss bathed her in the kitchen sink. Nika and I sat out on the porch watching the stars until all hours (still on California time). There are so many here, compared to L.A. J. Moss

 

Jimmy Moss
Frankly I'd forgotten about the party. The great drama in our lives was a puppy we had promised the children. They wanted a Dalmatian, because of that movie, and I said no. They're not good with children and they need much too much exercise. They wanted to get it last Christmas but I said no, because Josslyn has never had a dog, and I didn't have time to housetrain it right then. So for six months, we've been planning for our August puppy. Off we went to Orono where a lady we found on the Internet had a litter of yellow Labs ready to go. The minute I saw them I knew the father was no Lab. Their paws were enormous. I hoped the other half wasn't Newfy or wolf. By the time your children have puppies in their arms, though, the ship has sailed. At that point, the battle was limiting them to one. Regis chose him, Boedie named him Toto, and Virgil is the one he threw up on on the way home.

 

Virgil Applegate
It was green with lumps. Mom and Boedie were grossed out. Daddy said all puppies get carsick and he'd grow out of it.

 

Monica Faithful
I'm pretty sure Jimmy told me about the puppy. He says he e-mailed me. It must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Puppies are like childbirth, you can't remember how awful it is until it's too late. And it always lasts about a month longer than you can stand it. Oh well—not my problem.

 

Marta Rowland
It's a nightmare, getting to Dundee. I decided to fly to Portland and rent a car. You still have a three-hour drive after that, and I was on Paris time, but the last time I flew to Bangor, Charlesie picked me up and drove me out to the coast at nine hundred miles an hour. I was in fear for my life.

Monica had e-mailed directions to me but no one ever thought I'd missed a career as a pathfinder. I saw a good deal of scenic Vacationland before I got to Janet Cluett's house. Cinder and her husband were already there when I finally found them, and we had quite a house party. We had to stay away from any place we might run into Eleanor, so if we went downtown or out on the water, we wore huge hats and sunglasses. It was rather fun. We felt like Mata Hari.