Gone By (31 page)

“I need to know”.

“You’ve got nothing to do with it” I added.

“I just want you be safe” her concerning tone again.

“I’m safe you don’t need to worry about me”.

“I don’t know how far” she said.

“Go..he’s waiting for you......do take care” I bid her adieu for the day.

She looked keenly at me as she walked off. I stood looking at her from that distance. Every time, she walked away I felt the distance between us too short, for I had the ample faith in love. Within a minutes the whole area was left alone. Perhaps I was the last person to finally move from that place. The only rumour that could be heard in everyone’s mouth was the incident story that was narrated in the class. I paid no heap of attention whatever my ears postured into such tale. I scrolled to walk down the subway to catch up a taxi. They were gone by then, else the only thing that struck my mind was, Why Anannya began to think me as an image of convict to something else. I knew she cared about me, it’s not the thing about any irrelevant between us. But, of course where love exist there has to be no minimization of any sort of contradictory things between both. I thought of telling the truth to her. But how, will she believe me if I spoke the real. Perhaps she may fear after that. But I needed to explain it calmly. The next day I thought would tell her in the form of story. I began to ponder it as I sat on a running taxi. Until the next day, my day was not usual. Whereas, the evening I did spent some time in my Dad’s room helping him out in some unknown project as it appeared to me. I was relaxed and chilling the time, no matter what the task was given to me, I could possibly satisfy Dad with the skill of my work. I waited for the next day. I thought about Anannya the whole night. So much in love with her, even though I knew she’s got boyfriend. But, a thing that I learnt, everything thing lies within you and every answers is you. No matter even if she’s got boyfriend, at most I just wanted to tell her all my feelings and emotions about her. And the care that I want to give her.

“How far have you gone with your story” the lady suddenly voiced out, her hand smoothly controlling the steering.

“Just a page completed” I added.

“Would you read me aloud, if you don’t mind” she urged.

“Sure”.

I began to read out the line which I have written, in some lines she smiled whereas in some she laughed briefly. Even she commented on Anannya.

“Oh! So, the main theme lies with Anannya..Isn’t it” she muttered looking for seconds at me.

I nodded my head.

“You loved her very much” she asked softly keeping her conscious alert.

“Yes! I did..but she walked off from my life” I sighed.

“It’s ok there’s always a better..that’s why things happens” she added wisely. I nodded again. “We would be stopping at a motel somewhere on the way....is it fine with you”.

“Surely..I have got no problem with that” I said.

I glanced at my wrist watch. It’s 7:00pm evening. In every turn she took, I thought I could drive like her. She was so much professional in handling a car, wished I could always ride in her car. In any moment she did used to glance at me and passed a brief smile. In return I would just shook my head with shyness glimmering on my face.

“You know..I have a three years old son”.

“That’s wonderful”.

“He’s is the only reason, I have been working hard” she added.

“How about your husband”.

“He’s a crook...I just left him a year ago”.

“That’s really bad” .

”But..I’m doing fine without him. I ‘m an independent working woman”.

“I appreciate that” my lips pressed slightly with short glance at her.

“So, do you know where she is now”.

“Who” I inquired to know in little shock.

“Of course I’m talking about your love, Anannya”.

“I don’t know where she is now. She’s will be happy. She found someone better, I believe. Yes! I do think about her a lot but I’m helpless if she doesn’t love me...it’s fine. Let her have her freedom....but yes I do still love her” I said in depressive tone.

“I know how bad it feels when heart gets broken” she muttered softly.

“I was ready to do anything for her but she never spaced me, neither she let me do anything. Maybe she never loved me from heart”.

“It’s hard to love a women. They are mystery to understand” she said.

“Even after confessing on my knees, she never tended to know me”.

“Was she so cruel at heart”.

“I don’t know....I begged before her, I didn’t bother to care about my self esteem and dignity..just for her I did. But she ignored out me and just left me all alone” my voice deeply sad.

She turned the steering and took left towards a roadside motel. She braked the car and stopped. “Let your destiny be made by you...You’ve loved her truly from heart she knows. Someday if she realizes she may come to you and if not just move on” she said smiling out at me.

She clunk her door and got outside. So, I did. We headed to occupy a chair for the snacks. She slid one and handed me the other. We sat and ordered according to our choice.

“I would look forward at the time of publishing of your book”.

“Surely..I would love to have you” I added.

“What about Anannya..would you let her know” she asked.

“Yeah! Perhaps I may. As this book I’m writing dedicating to her” I said in deep tone of heavy voice.

The waiter served us with our orders. She was really very responsive and communicative.

“I know Man’s heart is very fragile, if they fall in love it’s so deep inside that it can’t be explain in words”.

“So, you still love your husband”.

“Yeah! I do..but he’s nice man. Sometime he does which is not supposed to do...maybe it’s my fault I let him down”.

“Does he comes and visits you”.

“Sometimes in a week” she added softly.

We completed our snacks. And planned to move now. The bill was kept on the table.

“I really want to say something..but I don’t know how will I handle my broken heart” I said as we were walking back to the car.

“You may fill light, if you mutter out the heavy pieces of pain out” she said.

“I just can’t forget Anannya..it’s so much concrete and pasted strongly in my heart” my voice trembled in deep emotions.

“I can feel the chronic pain you’ve been going through” she added as she opened the door of the car.

“Every promise I decided I would fulfil to her..but before it began she ended with no final reasons and answers left behind”.

We were inside the car by now, she started the engine and I closed my side door. I slightly lifted the window glass to save myself from rusty winds that blew with high speed.

“C’mon life is meant to live” she rubbed her hand at my back.

She released the clutch and we started to move out of the motel area.

“I do really love her a lot..that’s why I can’t forget her name and face”.

“Just follow your heart what it says..you’ll find the right person someday” she said. I nodded.

She began to accelerate faster. I thought not to wait anymore, as I reach Pune. Some few more hours I have to travel to reach to my final destination. To be honest, my college was outskirts of Pune. In fact, it was in Satara district of Maharashtra. I had to come to Satara. Just  a three hours journey from Pune.

“It feels like I really want to see her. My eyes do cries for her” with my pulsating tone.

“Look...if your love is true it will happen no matter what it takes.. God is there to save your love” she said trying to raise the peak of hope in me.

I stayed silence for some time, so did she. We barely uttered words from mouth. She was completely into the steering, whereas I was lost in the thought of Anannya. For certain time I felt like I was going lunatic. Was that a good sign of behaviour of me. Why am I so down...just a love was all I needed. Yes definitely from the girl I love. Why the name Anannya, I never forget..everything ends in love when such fusion of question aroused. My eyes were filled in deep frozen tears. As the car moved on I could just look outside through the window. So confine in her thoughts that it began to haunt me. Deep inside it burnt me. I don’t know if I’m the only one in this world who is being in journey of love. So , much to say that even the pain of love began to fade away. Soaked into the red blood where all the inner emotions and feelings and the heart now laid empty. I began to feel like a person made of clay, just like a man made model. Felt like I was a victim of innocent love but love never responded me in life. Neither I could say I’m a man with broken heart nor I could mend myself. All my limits began to shatter me down. The broken symptoms of tragic love laid scattered all over me. No more words to say nor I could write anymore. Felt like my heart touched it’s limit of love and feelings for her. Would be enough to justify me, I believe it wouldn’t, yet I hold lots more for her. Perhaps which she would never know now.

My vision of love has now changed before my eyes. I began to realize the true protocol about love. It mattered most when the person we love misses in life. That’s when the love begins to exist but until that it’s nothing more than a two mere person.

“Are you lost somewhere” she spoke out suddenly.

“No..I was thinking how the life cheated me in love”.

“Nothing cheats in life it’s the game of destiny” she answered handling the steering wheel.

“How far yet to reach” I asked.

“Just an hour more” she said.

“I don’t know how I should thank you but I’m really very grateful to you for saving my life”. “That’s no problem...I got a good friend huh!!! And I discovered a writer” she pretended to laugh and ended up smiling.

“I’m yet to be”.

“No...you’re “.

She changed the gear and slowed down the speed behind a truck. I could see the long line of traffic line, mostly those of trucks filled with goods.

“In everyone’s life someone comes and changes you forever” she said looking at me.

My lips were pressed and nodded my head.

“I should thank her that means” I said.

“Of course you should thank Anannya”.

“Well, then this book I write dedicating to her” I said raising my eye brow.

She projected a smile and with a blink of eye she glanced.

“You got to turn it into a book huh!” she said.

“Surely it’s three hundred pages diary and will come out as good Novel” I said enthusiastically. She could overtake few trucks.

“You’re lucky boy” she said.

“Why do you think that” I urged to know.

“You got save, on the other hand very soon you’re going to be popular”.

I jerked my head, lifted my shoulder making myself comfortable in the seat.

“I don’t need popularity..I just want to write it that’s all”.

“That’s quiet humble” she squinted.

I was still having the diary holding in my hand, placed over my lap. I thought of pausing to write till I reach my college. There I shall continue the rest to pen down. She hardly blew horn of the car, so expert in overtaking that even males would fail to do that, as I believed as per the experience, sitting beside her.

“So, do you have anyone in life now” she drew her attention back to me.

“No..I fine being single now. Perhaps, now I’m here to chase my dreams rather than chasing any opposite sex”.

She smiled “That’s so fantastic and ridiculous thought. I’m impressed”.

She flashed out both the head lights. The darkness began to cover in. Even the time hour began to get shortened from the destination. By now we have crossed many number of vehicles behind us. I must really say she was excellent in driving.

“So, as you reach you’d be moving ahead” she asked.

“Yeah!..I need to move else I would late”.

“Better don’t forget me” she said softly.

“Definitely..never. I owe you”.

She glimpsed silently and ruptured out a brief smile on her face. I happened to take a notice of that. Perhaps she thought it was left hidden from my eyes. We were almost into the Pune city. She said she would be dropping me up to the station. She finally changed her direction of the steering wheel towards Swargate bus Depo. She gave me her home address. I’ve been very rare to Koregaon park, that’s where she stays. So, finally we reached the spot. She halted the car for minutes. Perhaps she didn’t feel like coming out of the car. So, I had to do the real stuff of getting out myself. Few seconds before I was out, she happened to exchange words.

“Anytime you come to Pune, do visit me alright”.

I smiled and nodded and opened the door. I gently landed my feet onto the ground. She was peeping me out through the window of my side.

“Take care” she said waving her hand at me.

“Bye” I waved her my hand, my voice lived shortly.