Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-Being (38 page)

The best way to make sure you’ve got enough good flora is to eat plenty of cruciferous vegetables, such as broccoli, cauliflower, kale, and collard greens, because the fiber in them serves as a breeding ground for the good bacteria in your gut. You also want probiotics—the good bacteria—to enter your GI system and flourish there. A good probiotic supplement should be packed with beneficial microorganisms that support digestion. If you have frequent yeast infections in your vagina or your mouth or both, there are probiotic supplements with bacteria that are especially good for clearing them up. Getting the sugar out of your diet will help too. A recent study showed that a cup a day of Activia yogurt, which has a relatively small number of beneficial bacteria in it and far too much sugar in my opinion, can boost a woman’s mood because of the relationship between gut health and the brain. If a little bit of sugary yogurt can do so much, imagine what high-quality probiotic sources can do. And you can support all those beneficial microorganisms (also known collectively as the microbiome) by eating your cabbage, greens, broccoli, and so on. It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the idea of changing your entire diet, but you can significantly change your gut flora balance through changing what you eat in as little as 24 hours.
¹²

Eating too many grains and sugars throws off the balance in your gut flora as yeast grows and good bacteria die off. You develop leaky gut syndrome and inflammation and oxidative stress, as I explained, and serotonin levels drop. You start craving sugars, and once you give in to those cravings, you make the situation worse. So while taking the probiotics is good, it’s not a panacea. You have to cut out the sugars too.

If you’ve cut the sugars and the grain but your GI system is still off, it could simply be that you’re not drinking enough water or you’re eating too little fiber, or you ate something that doesn’t agree with you. The problem could also be emotional. Remember, the gut makes more neurotransmitters than the brain does, so it’s constantly talking to us! Pay attention to the subtle signs from your gut, because it responds to both food and feelings.
If you’re anxious, angry, or depressed, you might have bowel movements that are too loose or too firm, or your intestines will cramp. Energetically, your digestive system is associated with your third chakra and issues related to personal power, self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, and feelings of responsibility. When you’re nervous or insecure, afraid of being shamed for being yourself, feeling overly responsible for everything and everybody, your gut may respond by becoming agitated.

We say “listen to your gut instincts” and “I just can’t stomach that situation” because on some level we sense the brain-gut connection—and scientists are now realizing it is stronger than we ever knew. Don’t neglect your gut! Take your probiotics, and if you’re having some digestive troubles, take an enzyme with your meal. For example, if you’re going to enjoy an organic rice-and-beans dish, an enzyme supplement will help prevent excess gas.

HAPPY BELLY AND HAPPY BODY

If you’re unhappy with the shape of your belly, know that cutting out the wheat will reduce it, but whatever your belly looks like, you can make it happy. Balance your gut flora. Nourish yourself with good foods and clear out the junk, including the shame, perfectionism, and emotional stress that are affecting you.

Let’s make it a happy belly, one you’re comfortable with, one that isn’t holding on to toxins buried in fat and creating a body shape that makes you prone to diseases like diabetes. Show love to your belly as you heal your gut. You might even take a belly-dancing class and get back in touch with this part of your body. Belly dancing, like any sensual dancing, makes it easier to reconnect with your beautiful, divine, ageless inner goddess.

Give up the goal of achieving what our culture calls a “perfect” or “ideal” body shape. Only about 1 percent of women have that shape at any age. Besides, what is culturally idealized varies from decade to decade. It’s time to simply accept that and get on with it. Embrace the changes that arise in your body, and think about what they’re alerting you to. Do you need to make changes in your life? Have you learned to love yourself fully and embrace the physical manifestations that are your belly, your breasts, your
face, your arms, your bottom, head, and feet? Pay loving attention to your body and nourish it. Trust your appetite and your body’s desire to settle into a particular weight and shape when you’re eating healthfully.

Delight is a crucial ingredient in agelessness. Ignore the food police. Be a laughing Buddha with happiness in your belly. And indulge your appetite for the pleasures of food shared with good company or eaten alone, in peaceful contemplation of the fruits of the earth.

CHAPTER NINE

GODDESSES MOVE JOYOUSLY

You move and you live, you stop moving and you die. Simple.

— B
OB
C
OOLEY, AUTHOR OF
T
HE
G
ENIUS OF
F
LEXIBILITY

I
have a habit of mindfully noticing moments in my life that represent the fulfillment of long-cherished dreams that took some real effort to manifest. One of those golden moments was dancing tango in Buenos Aires with an Argentine native while listening to Color Tango, a live tango orchestra playing at Salón Canning, a well-known venue. Dancing there marked a completion of epic proportions because it represented that I had, for the first time ever, found a form of movement that truly spoke to my soul. Movement that is in tune with our core being is movement that is sustainable—and it’s the type of “exercise” we all need to do.

I’d wanted to dance for my entire life, but I grew up in a family of sports enthusiasts who skied, hiked, and played golf and
tennis. Dance wasn’t on the agenda. At seven, I gleefully watched my father walk up the driveway with a special package that contained tap shoes I had ordered by mail, but the one dance teacher in town moved away shortly after my cherished dance shoes arrived. I made a few attempts to try ballroom dancing over the next several decades, always with an unwilling and sports-oriented partner. Finally, I realized that if I were ever going to fulfill my desire to dance, I would have to make it happen myself. I would simply sign up for ballroom dance lessons again. But then, while standing in front of the huge storefront window of Maine Ballroom Dance Studio one snowy and cold January night, I watched a couple dancing Argentine tango in close embrace. The dance was so sensual, so moving, that it called to me. My heart said, “That’s what I want to do.”

It’s one thing to be inspired by watching a couple dance skillfully. It’s quite another to show up as a clumsy beginner at a dance class or practice session, especially when you’ve already mastered your own career and inhabit the comfortable realm of being an authority in your own sphere. How many of us have held back from trying something our hearts called us to do, fearing that we would be laughed at or shamed? There is always a reason to stay home and not take the risk of embarrassing yourself, but this is an obsolete voice you need to resist. That’s what I decided to do, and that choice changed my life.

Despite my nervousness, I showed up at a tango class as a total beginner and slowly and self-consciously began to learn the art form. There were far more women than men at the dances and practice sessions, and my fellow female dancers were all waiting to be asked to dance. I thought,
Oh, good. Just what the world needs—another single, middle-aged woman who wants to learn how to dance. There aren’t enough men to go around. And now I show up and make the ratio even worse!

But I had a burning desire to feel this romantic dance in my body, mind, and spirit. I wanted to feel the thrill of surrendering to the lead of a skillful man. I wanted my body to know how to express the way the music felt inside me. To do all that, I had to create new pathways in my brain and body and completely redo my wiring diagram. I had to work at making my body bring sacred pleasure into every nerve and muscle while I was connecting
with the heart of my partner. Doing this was, quite frankly, much harder than medical school and residency had ever been. Why? Because learning to dance tango as a single woman over 40 with no dance background whatsoever uncovered all of my insecurities about my desirability as a woman. Argentine tango—that dance of connection and passion that was born out of the pain of so many displaced Africans and Europeans coming together in Argentina more than a century ago—became the crucible in which all my own pain and insecurity were forged into a new, more vibrant, ageless body and, indeed, a whole new life.

Do you have a secret desire when it comes to how you want to feel in your body? If you’re not feeling exquisite in your body now, when will you allow yourself that experience? Each of us is designed with a unique approach to movement that feels satisfying. To remain ageless, you need to remember how you moved as a child, before you internalized other people’s ideas about when you should move and sit still, and how you should express yourself and feel joy in your own skin. Back then, you were moved by enthusiasm, not a relentless drive to push your body through something called “exercise” that was “good for you.”

In your ageless years, you don’t need to go back to those junior high school days when you had to compete against your friends, do specific movements the way your teacher told you to, wear an ugly and uncomfortable uniform, or allow people more skilled than you were to have all the fun. Instead, you can bring pleasure into your movements as you embrace a sense of adventure, stretching yourself in new ways. Ask yourself: What is possible with my body today? How can I move differently than I did yesterday and have more fun doing it? How can I keep moving more joyfully, more freely, and more fully?

Rx FOR AGELESSNESS: MOVEMENT AND FUN

I dislike the word
exercise.
It has become synonymous with
all
movement. We get injured because we’ve been taught “no pain, no gain,” “push yourself,” and “pain is weakness leaving the body.” Injuries can plague us for the rest of our lives if we don’t know how to change the connective tissue in our bodies—the fascia that
connects everything to everything else, which I described earlier in the book. The energetic impact of physical injuries is usually stored in this connective tissue, but what’s stored can be released, as you’ll learn. Bringing a sense of dread and obligation to moving your body is simply unsustainable. Over time, you will find that you can’t force yourself to do something you really don’t want to do.

Can you remember the first time you did a somersault? Rode a bike? Swam in a pool? Ran along a beach? Jumped rope? We’re designed to move. When you were a young child, no one had to push you to exercise. In fact, it was just the opposite. You moved joyously in your body and had energy to burn. If you’ve forgotten what that was like, make a point of watching some kids under age five. There are plenty of videos online of adorable children who can’t stop moving. Watch what they do when they’re supposed to be sitting or standing still or following the careful choreography of their tap dancing teacher. When they’re excited, they’re like whirling dervishes, those Sufi mystics who spin with the sheer delight of being connected to Spirit while in their bodies. Like every child, you were taught to stop squirming and sit still to fit in at school or church, or in a car seat. And now, of course, the authority figures are telling you to stop sitting still and start moving!

How important is movement? Here’s an example. I was on a family trip with my siblings and my mother a couple of years ago, and we ended up having to use a moving walkway in the Istanbul airport to get to our flight on time. My mother, who was 87 then, was looking back when the moving walkway suddenly ended. She stumbled onto the floor in front of it and instinctively reached out to try to catch herself, but there was no railing. She started to fall off the side, and there was a two-foot drop down to the sidewalk. Realizing she was falling, she sprang off the end of the walkway and landed two feet below, then ran forward to work off the momentum resulting from losing her balance. Very impressive. Very athletic. I swear, if she had been less fit and agile, we’d have spent the next month in a Turkish hospital standing by while she recovered from a hip fracture. Her instinctive self-preserving physical motions were the result of a lifetime of physical prowess and movement—which in my mother’s case
had involved hiking and skiing. Being present in your body, having good balance, and being aware of your movements can save your life—and joyful movement can certainly make your life worth living. Remember—muscle strength and balance do not deteriorate with age. They deteriorate with lack of use resulting from a sedentary lifestyle.