God Ain't Through Yet (22 page)

“H
e takes her to dinner at an expensive place like Antonosanti's? I used to have to beg him to take me there!” My battered heart must have skipped three beats. And it felt like it was hanging from an invisible string like a yo-yo, just like that moon outside. Even though I knew that I'd lost my husband to another woman, hearing that the affair had become so public and blatant made my blood boil. I wanted to go back home and get my rolling pin. I hated the woman that I had become. Even though I still didn't condone violence, it had become a frequent visitor to my fractured thoughts. I was glad I didn't have access to a gun or a competent voodoo woman.

“Lizel and Wyrita drive past there every evenin' on the way home.” Lizel and Wyrita were the two busybody young women who worked for Rhoda, helping her run her childcare center. “Pee Wee's car is in Antonosanti's parking lot almost every day around the same time. Yesterday and today, Lizel and Wyrita stopped there to order somethin' to go—or just to be nosy, I should say. Lizel said that both times Pee Wee and Lizzie were sittin' in a booth kissin' and huggin' like they were auditionin' for
The Love Connection
.”

“Oh well,” I said with a shrug. My insides were crumbling like a house of cards. “He's on his own, so he can do whatever the hell he wants to do.” Those words tasted like venom on my tongue. “I plan to do the same thing.” Those words tasted much better. As a matter of fact, they tasted so good I wanted to savor them. “I plan to do the same thing,” I repeated, this time with even more conviction. “By the way, did you know he's been talkin' to a lawyer? Scary Mary told me.”

Rhoda's jaw dropped and she covered her mouth with her hand for a few seconds. “I didn't know that!”

“Well, you know it now. And I want you to be the first to know that I have an appointment to see a lawyer. I plan to serve Pee Wee with divorce papers as soon as I can.”

“I don't blame you, girl. I mean, he's still my boy and he always will be, but you have to do what you have to do. Let him stay with his middle-aged might-or-might-not-be virgin.” Rhoda paused and cackled. “Well, if she was still a virgin, I'm sure she's not a virgin anymore now. Still middle-aged, though.”

“Hmph! She probably hasn't been a virgin for a long time,” I snapped.

“I thought she'd never been married, or even had a real date.”

“So? Half of the prostitutes who work for Scary Mary have never been married or had dates, at least not dates in the traditional sense.” I gave Rhoda a serious look. “Did you know she went to Woodstock?”

“So did Mick Jagger and Jimi Hendrix, I think. What's your point?”

“And a year after we got out of high school, she spent some time in Berkeley doing that hippie thing.”

Rhoda's brow furrowed. “Wasn't that the Summer of Love where everybody was fuckin' everybody while they were on acid or whatever drugs they could get their hands on?”

“From what I know, every summer was the summer of love during the hippie movement. Now, with all of that in mind, just how innocent could Lizzie be if she was there? And Woodstock? What about all of that?”

Rhoda considered my words with a frown. “Of course, if Lizzie really got into what was goin' on, she was well-fucked when she left Berkeley. And another thing, as far as I know, she has never said that she's still a virgin anyway, right? I mean, before Pee Wee gave her a beef injection…”

“She never told me she was. I don't know how Muh'Dear came to that conclusion.” I swallowed hard. “Oh, what the hell. What difference does it make? She's living with my husband now and I know he's fucking the hell out of her.”

“This is some truly crazy shit, girl. How do you think somebody like her got to somebody like him?”

“I don't know who got to who in this case. And to be honest with you, I don't think I really want to know. But I am still ticked off with you for not telling me,” I chided, shaking a finger in Rhoda's face.

“Don't think that I didn't want to tell you as soon as I found out. You have no idea how hard it was for me to keep from callin' you up that time I ran into them at the motel. I had even thought about sendin' you an anonymous note.”

My mouth dropped open. “Well, after what Jade put me through with her cute little anonymous notes, I'm glad you didn't! Something like that would have pushed me closer to the edge faster than a bulldozer. I can't believe you would say something like that, Rhoda!”

“I'm sorry for even thinkin' of doin' somethin' like that, and I'm sorry for tellin' you. I just…I just want us all to be happy. Now, I know that you and Jade still have some issues, but let's try and get through tonight in one piece.”

By the time Rhoda and I returned to our table, our drinks had been delivered. Jacob was squatting down on his knees on the floor facing the booth with a camera. He was snapping pictures of Jade as she leaned over her birthday cake, posing with Otis and Vernie. The way that the three of them were positioned with Jade seated, Vernie leaning forward over her so that his chin rested on top of her head, and with Otis in a similar position above Vernie, they resembled a short totem pole. It was a Kodak moment if ever there was one. “Rhoda, do you and Annette want to get in this picture?” Jacob asked.

Now that I looked so much better, I wasn't as camera shy as I used to be. But before I could respond and announce that I wanted to pose with the birthday girl, Rhoda spoke, “No thanks. I'm too bloated tonight,” she said with a frown as she rubbed her belly. “I would come out lookin' like Moby Dick's mama.” She, as well as everybody else present, looked at me.

“I feel the same way,” I muttered.

The minute everybody returned to their seats, Jade's scowl returned to her face. And it was aimed in my direction. I couldn't raise my wineglass to my lips fast enough. I was glad that I had ordered some of the strongest Chardonnay in the house. I got an immediate buzz. It hit me so hard I didn't have time to stop the loud, long burp that popped out of my mouth as soon as I set the glass back on the table.

“Excuse me,” I yelled, leaning toward Jacob. I beckoned for our waiter to bring me another drink.

The band—one plump, bald-headed brother tickling a red piano, another man strumming a square-shaped guitar, and two others tooting horns—was well known for the soft jazz instrumentals they played. The club was fairly crowded, and the atmosphere was so soothing it was easy for me to relax a little bit more. Even though Jade was present, with Jacob by my side now, I was actually glad that I had come back in. This was the first festive mood I'd felt since Pee Wee left me.

“So, Annette, I'm glad to see you didn't waste any time hooking up with a new man,” Jade said with a grimace on her face that looked like it belonged on a crocodile. “And such a handsome man.” She winked at Jacob. “Jacob, don't be blushing! You know you look good for a man your age. That wig store on State Street sells hairpieces that would cover up your receding hairline real good!” that crude heifer said. “But you could still use a few props.” She took a drink from her glass and looked me in the eye. “Annette, I always thought you'd end up with just another mummy like Pee Wee, or some other dried-up old fossil. Ow! You surprised me!”

Rhoda cleared her throat and tried to divert the attention in another direction, but she didn't have to bother. Jade was two steps ahead of her.

“Groom?” Jade cooed, looking at Vernie like he was something good to eat. As soon as he whirled around to face her, she kissed the tip of his nose. Then she tapped his lips with the tip of her finger.

Vernie looked at her like she was the Queen of Sheba. “Yes, baby?”

“Dance with me, baby,” Jade ordered. Jade grabbed Vernie by the hand before I could offer an appropriate response to her comments. And the fact that he didn't protest surprised me. He seemed more like her well-trained puppy than her husband.

I was glad when Otis and Rhoda got up to dance, too. It gave me the chance to investigate Jacob a little. Father Time had been good to him. He was still reasonably good looking and fit. As a matter of fact, he had the same dark brown skin and features that were similar to Pee Wee's. I was anxious to determine where he was coming from, and where he was going, as far as resuming a relationship with me.

“So, how do you spend your time these days?” I asked. I knew that if I was going to hold on to my sanity, it was going to take a lot of hard work. Now that I knew Pee Wee was parading his woman all over town, I knew that I had to at least make it look like I was having just as good a time as he was. I wasn't looking for another man to fall in love with. What I needed right now was a crutch, and Jacob was a good candidate to fill that role for the time being.

“I still like to go to parties and movies, and whatnot. The same things I liked to do when you and I were together,” he told me, patting one of my hands for a few seconds, then the other. “I'm looking for the right woman to do that with. I'll be her fool,” he said in a low voice, still patting my hands.

I didn't exactly want a fool in my life. And as soon as Jacob said that, he gave me a look that I didn't know how to interpret. He was staring at me like I was the only woman in the room. On one hand, it made me feel special; but on the other hand, it made me uncomfortable.

“I have a real busy social life,” I reported, hoping that that statement would make him ease back a little.

“I'm sure you do. A fine sister like you. I should be so lucky to get you to go out with me again. But if I do, it'd be a blessing. Especially after all of the grief I've had to deal with lately.”

“You mean your mama's passing?”

He nodded. “That's part of it.” He paused and blinked a few times. When he spoke again, his voice was so low I had to lean closer toward him to hear. “My son by my high-school sweetheart passed, too. Suicide.”

“Oh? I didn't know you had a son.”

He nodded again. “When I got back from 'Nam, me and his mama had him. My son's mother is a sister named Lois Dench. She didn't want to get married, but she wanted that baby. His name was Michael. Me and Lois broke up right after he was born, and they moved to Cleveland. The boy stayed in trouble up there, so they moved back down here. He took a shine to one of his uncles, who happened to be a straight-up thug, so he kept backsliding. He got into one mess after another down here.”

“I didn't know you were related to the Dench family,” I mumbled. “I knew Michael, and I had no idea he was your son. He used to work for the same company I work for.”

The room suddenly seemed dark and more like a long black tunnel or some kind of cave. It was nowhere I wanted to be. I really wanted to flee the scene now. How in the world was I going to tell Jacob that some people held
me
responsible for his son's death?

“Y
our son…he was a sweet boy and a hard worker,” I stammered. “And Michael is my favorite name for a boy.”

“He was my only child.” I could tell that Jacob was in pain, but he managed a weak smile. “He was smart, too. I bet he could have ended up working in a high-level management position some day. Yep, he was the only child that the good Lord saw fit to bless me with.”

“Hmmm,” I said, rubbing my chin.

“Hmmm what?” Jacob gave me a confused look.

“I am surprised to hear that you have only one child. Now, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you got around in the bedroom, brother. And you got around in a lot of different bedrooms.”

“Well, that's true. But he was the only one I had that I know about. And he will be the only one I ever do have. My baby-making days are over.”

“Oh. I can understand that. With all the diseases we have to be concerned about these days, a lot of folks, just as many men as women, are choosing to abstain.”

Jacob threw his head back and laughed long and loud. Now I was the one with a confused look on my face. “That's not what I meant! I don't plan on giving up my fun for at least another twenty or thirty years. And even then, if my motor needs a tune-up, I will make a beeline to a doctor and get myself a big supply of Viagra. Maybe by then they will have something even more potent.”

“I'm sorry. But when you said you were through making babies, I thought…”

“You thought I was through having sex? You're not the first woman to think that when I mention my situation. But the truth of the matter is, I'd love to have more kids! It's just that I can't. See, a few years ago, I got some strange virus, and that ruined my chance of ever having any more biological children. That was why I really wanted to have a relationship with Michael.”

“I always knew that you wanted kids, and I knew you'd make a good father, Jacob. At least we have one unique thing in common.”

Jacob's eyes searched mine. Apparently he had no idea what I was talking about. “You had just the one child, I have just one child, and we both would like to have more,” I stated. “I had my daughter late in life, and for a long time I was happy with just one child. But my daughter was not happy about that, and she was the one who told me, ‘An only child is a lonely child.'”

“Is your equipment still working? You don't have to answer my question if you don't want to. It's just that the last woman I was involved with, she'd had a hysterectomy. And the one I was with before her, she'd had her tubes tied. I know that when a woman reaches middle age, her baby batter is usually a little stale by then. Having babies that late in life, there's no telling what kind of crossed-eyed gnome you might give birth to.”

“Jacob, if my daughter was a crossed-eyed gnome, I wouldn't love her any less. But I am thankful that she is healthy and attractive. Your son was, too.”

“Yeah, he was. Thanks for saying that, Annette.”

“The females in my office couldn't take their eyes off of him,” I said with a giggle.

“I guess he got his good looks from me,” Jacob said with a straight face. I didn't comment on his comment, but it wasn't true. Jacob was no baboon, but he was no Mr. America either. The exceptionally good looks that his son had possessed had come from his mother.

“You'll be happy to know that I thought your son was one of the sweetest young men in Richland. And I'm sure he loved you.”

“I appreciate you saying that, too. Too bad his mama didn't feel that way. She made it hard for me to see him. Every time I tracked her down, she moved.”

“Didn't you have to pay child support?”

“Oh, I did that. I didn't miss a payment. But since I couldn't keep up with her, I paid her for his upkeep through the system. And the situation stayed that way until he reached legal age and I didn't have to support him anymore. But since he was grown by then and could make his own decisions, he let me know where he was staying at all times. We had just started to get close a few months ago. He got a job, but that didn't work out. They say that's what pushed him over the edge. I don't know all of the details, and nobody wants to discuss it with me.” Jacob choked back a sob and I had to hold my breath to keep from doing the same thing myself. “Anyway,” he continued, “I was visiting some of my mama's folks in DC when he hanged himself. It just broke my heart. I would have done anything in this world to help save my boy, and that's what I was trying to do. But I was too late.”

“I got to know your son fairly well. Actually, I was his supervisor when he died,” I admitted.

Jacob's eyes got so wide so fast he looked like an owl for a few seconds. “You? You were the one who fired my boy? I was told that it was some mean-ass bitch that had ice water in her veins! That doesn't sound like you!”

For a moment, I thought that Jacob was going to strike me. But he just stared into my face, like he was searching for an explanation as to what my role was in his son's death.

“I didn't know people saw me that way. I was just doing my job,” I whined, knowing that that was the last thing that a grieving father wanted to hear.

“I see,” Jacob said with a sniff. He suddenly looked so sad I thought he was going to burst into tears and weep like an old woman. I was glad he didn't, because the look on his face made me want to crawl under the table.

“And I didn't fire your boy. I got attached to him right away. I want you to know that if I had a son, I would have wanted him to be as polite and as ambitious as Michael was.” I paused and swallowed one of the lumps in my throat. I was glad to see that Jacob didn't look as sad now. “The last day that he worked for me, I was prepared to offer him the job on a full-time basis, but he didn't give me a chance to talk to him about it.”

Another unbelievable look of sadness crossed Jacob's face. This time I was the one patting his hand.

“He was a fine young man, and I am so sorry about what happened to him. I would give anything in this world if I could go back to that day. I would have met him at the door that morning and told him he had a permanent job. I wanted to help him, but I guess I was too late, too.”

“Don't beat yourself up over something you can't change, Annette.”

I still felt some guilt over Michael Dench's suicide, and the sooner I got over that, the better. I knew that if I could do anything to make Michael's family get over their tragedy faster, I had to do it.

If spending time with me meant so much to Jacob, it was the least I could do. In a way, it was like we were doing one another a favor, so to speak.

“Jacob, I hope you still like good home-cooked meals. Because if you do, I'd really like it if you'd come by the house some time soon to have dinner with my daughter and me.”

“I'd love that,” Jacob said, almost drooling.

“Jacob, what are you grinning about?” Jade asked as she stumbled off the dance floor and back to her seat, with Vernie, Rhoda, and Otis close behind. They all sat down at the same time. “Annette must be putting some real funny bugs in your ear for you to be showing so much of your gums.”

“I hate to leave, but Jacob and I are going to go home and finish off a mess of collard greens and some hush puppies that I had left over from yesterday's dinner,” I lied. Jacob didn't bat an eye, and he didn't even seem surprised by what I'd just said.

“Aw, shuck it! That's a damn shame. I wish you didn't have to leave so soon. I'd love to hear more about…uh…whatever it is you're doing these days to keep your mind off the fact that your husband left you for another woman, Annette,” Jade babbled. As soon as she stopped speaking, a loud, viper-like breath hissed from her pouting lips. A veil of indifference covered her face.

“I am really sorry that I can't stay longer, too, Jade.” Now I was the one being nasty and sarcastic, and I knew she knew that. I could tell by the glare on her evil face. Jade was an extremely beautiful young woman. Like Rhoda, she seemed to look more and more like supermodel Naomi Campbell with each passing day. But Jade's personality and demeanor were so ugly—at least as far as I was concerned—that I could only acknowledge her beauty through a pig's eye. You would have thought that I was Miss Piggy by the way I was looking at her now.

“Annette, why in the world are you staring at me like that with that stupid look on your face?” she asked, fidgeting sideways in her seat. If Vernie had not secured her in place by wrapping his arm around her shoulder, she would have slid to the floor. She was slurring her words and the whites of her eyes had begun to turn red.

“I was just thinking about how sweet you were when you were a little girl,” I replied in a heavy voice.

She released a loud hiccup before she stammered, “I'm…I'm still sweet!” She looked from me to her parents and then to her confused-looking husband for confirmation. “Aren't I, Mama? Daddy? Vernie, you told me to my face one time that if God made a sweeter woman than me, He kept her for Himself. Didn't you?”

“I sure did,” Vernie answered, his words fumbling over his lips like clumsy feet. “And that's still true today.”

“Seeeeee,” Jade sang. Her eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets as she shot dagger looks at me.

I gave her a pitiful look and shook my head. That made her look even more indignant. “Good night, everybody,” I said gently, not taking my eyes off of Jade. “Jade, happy birthday again. If I had known that you were going to be here tonight, I'd have brought you a present.”

“And I wonder what that might have been?” Otis yelled. He was beginning to look and act drunk, too.

“Oh, there is just no telling!” Jade shouted, almost leaping out of her seat. “After all, Annette is the dollar-store queen.”

Rhoda was obviously annoyed, and I had a feeling that she was as uncomfortable as I was. Somehow, she managed to keep a smile on her face.

“Annette, you don't want a piece of cake?” Otis asked. “Or are you still counting dem calories. You can still take a tiny sliver with you!”

“Don't force her, Daddy. Can't you see she's gained back some of that weight—and in all of the wrong places.” Jade snickered, shaking her head as she lifted a knife and positioned it above her birthday cake. “Vernie, scoot over to the bar and see if they've got some milk—and make sure it's low fat!”

Vernie rose at the same time that Jacob and I did. He went one way and we went the other.