Given (Give &Take) (19 page)

I couldn’t even think. In the span of fifteen minutes, Enzo Rocha had once again flipped my world on its head. He’d lied all this time about Gina, about MJ and Nadia, to protect himself. He’d had sex with a minor and gotten her pregnant. When she wouldn’t give it up, he paid off her
family and talked them all into pretending she was dead along with Nadia, then passed MJ off as his grandson.

The deviousness… The insanity… I couldn’t breathe around it. “I have to think,” I said. “I’ll be back.” I rounded the table and hooked an arm around MJ’s neck, pulling him into me. “This changes nothing, brother.” He hugged me back.

I glanced at Rachael before I pushed the patio gate open. She was my strength, but lately she didn’t have strength to give because of Nadia. That situation still sat like a huge rock in the middle of a stream, dividing us. It didn’t have to now, but there was the lingering question of how much she’d sacrifice to be with me. I’d give her the world if she asked. Lay down and die in a second for her. Would she have done the same for me?

Her eyes were wet and she wiped at the corner of one before looking down. We needed to talk, to straighten
us
out.

It would have to wait a little longer. I was suffocating. Time and space, solitude, that was what I needed. The rest would have to settle on the back burner for a while.

M
errick was devastated and so was I. If he thought Enzo’s confession hadn’t affected me, he was wrong and had misjudged all the time we’d spent together. Did he not trust that I loved him? That I loved MJ? That this would shake me up, too?

One problem with being on a small island was finding a place to be alone. I knew where Merrick had most likely gone—the tree house. It killed me that he could be there without me. That he hadn’t come to me when he needed comfort. The relationship between Nadia and me had given him reason to doubt me.

I sat in the orchard under a tree, twisting my engagement ring around my finger.

How had we gotten so lost?

After an hour crying and brooding, it hit me. If I wanted him to know I would stand beside him no matter what, I had to go to him. I couldn’t let him walk away. I knew in my gut—in my heart and soul—that he needed me right now, but here I was, crying in self-pity on the ground.

If the tables were turned, he’d be with me no matter what.

I raced across the lawn and into the trees to the path that led to the tree house. Rain had started to fall, one lazy drop after another. Tears from the sky. They fell on my skin, dripping from the leaves above, and ran down my arms and legs.

The tree house was dark. He hadn’t turned any lights on, but I knew he was inside.

I dashed up the steps to the deck. The door was ajar. I paused with my hand on the knob for a moment to catch my breath before pushing it open and striding inside.

Looking around the cool darkness of the main room, I saw no sign of him. Then my eye caught the thick, round pillar candle sitting on the bottom step of the spiral staircase, lit.

The Nelsons had sent it to us after celebrating their fiftieth anniversary by renewing their vows here. They said we reminded them of themselves at our age. The candle was the unity candle they lit at their wedding. The minister told them to set it out and light it whenever one of them needed to talk with the other.

And here it was, burning on the bottom step. Merrick reaching out. He had faith that I’d come to him after all.

I picked up the candle and carried it up the stairs to the big bedroom at the top. Merrick was lying on his stomach on the bed, head turned away, arms bent underneath the pillow. I set the candle on the dresser and went to him.

The bed lowered as I sat on it. I put a hand on his back. There was so much to say, but at the same time, nothing I could say would be right. “I’m sorry” was useless. He’d
gained a son and daughter and lost them—not gone, but not who he thought they were. He’d lived a lifetime of regret for something that never happened. He’d been victimized by the man who should’ve protected him, but chose to save his own skin instead.

Words were ash in the wind.

I lay beside him and pressed close, stroking his hair and kissing his shoulder. He rolled to his side and looked at me. His eyes ran over my hair and face, down my neck, and over my shoulders. He grasped my hips and pulled me even closer. “I’ve been losing you, too,” he whispered, striking me like lightning to the chest.

“No. Never.” I held his face in my hands and kissed him hard. “Never, Merrick.”

“All that with Nadia. So much wasted time arguing and she was never mine to begin with.” He shook his head and took my hands from his face. “You couldn’t deal with it, though. What happens when something else comes crashing into our lives? What if you can’t take it?”

“I could take it. You
need
to listen to me and believe what I tell you. She knew all along, Merrick. She and Gina were playing their part in Enzo’s plan. She wanted you to build Rocha back up, marry Gina, and the two of them would have access to everything.”

His face was so somber, it killed me. “How did you know?” he said. “You doubted me and what I believed to be one hundred percent true. You saw them playing me for a fool.”

I sat up and looked down at him. “Merrick Enzo Rocha. If you ever thought I was the type of woman to go along blindly with whatever crazy idea popped into your head, I’m not sure how you ever came to that conclusion. I will fight you every step of the way,” I said, poking him in the chest, “if I think you’re doing something stupid. It doesn’t mean I don’t believe in you. It means I will look out for you. You’re part of me. I won’t go along with something that I believe will hurt you.”

He grabbed my finger. “What if Nadia had been mine? How would you have accepted it?”

“I tried with her, Merrick. She was on a mission. Eventually, the truth would’ve come out. In the meantime, I would’ve kept trying. For you. Because I love you and I’ll do anything for you. You believe that, don’t you?”

He cupped my cheek. “I doubted it, Rachael. I can’t lie to you about that.”

I squeezed his wrist. “
Never
doubt that. It was hard—almost impossible—to watch you trust her over me.”

“I—”

“No. You did. You took her side and believed I was the bad guy, Merrick. I get it. You thought she was your daughter, a daughter who spent twenty years without you. You felt guilty and would’ve spent the rest of your life trying to make it up to her if the truth hadn’t come out.”

He clamped his lips, frowning. I ran my hands up his chest. “We were tested,” I said. “Hard. We nearly failed. Now we learn from it and move forward. We believe in
each other no matter what, even if what the other thinks seems impossible to believe. We do it. It’s the only way.”

He nodded, reached for me, and pulled me down on his chest. “We’ll never be one mind,” I said, snuggling in, “but we need to compromise and understand each other.”

Merrick ran his fingers through my hair. “I promised you when we got engaged to be better about communicating. I haven’t been.”

“You had a long way to come. It’s not like you had a family to show you how it’s done.” I lifted my head and propped my chin on his chest. “Don’t worry. I’ll show you. Even if I have to beat it into your thick skull.”

He smiled and I touched my lips to his lightly, a grin of my own matching his. “There’s only one more question then,” he said, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. “Do you still want to marry me the Saturday after Thanksgiving?”

I knocked on his head. “Sometimes you can be so dense. I never
didn’t
want to marry you the Saturday after Thanksgiving.”

He chuckled, then gave me a sorrowful expression. “I’m sorry about your grandma’s dress.”

I traced my finger along his jawline. “I haven’t heard if Mom was able to find someone who could get the stain out. There’s still hope.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed.” He rolled me over to my back and ran his hand up my sundress. “When they’re not in use, that is.” He lowered his head and kissed me, soft
and slow, gliding his tongue along my bottom lip. “Are we good?” he whispered.

“We’ve been good since the day I woke up on this island in your bed.”

Merrick’s black eyes went dark and sexy. “Best thing I ever did was keep you in my bed.”

“Hmm. I believe the determination was mine. I kept you in
my
bed, Mr. Rocha.”

He grabbed my wrists and pinned them above me. “Now you’ll spend the rest of your nights in
our
bed, soon-to-be Mrs. Rocha.”

The sound of his deep voice saying “Mrs. Rocha” sent a thrill through my body. God, I could not wait.

His mouth skimmed my neck as his hands pushed my dress up. “I want this off. Now.” I sat up and he yanked it over my head and threw it across the room. “I suck at explaining myself with words, so I’m going to tell you how much I love and want you the best way I know how.”

In an instant, I was naked and he was settling my legs over his shoulders. “When I’m not with you every night, I miss your taste on my tongue.” His mouth dove between my legs, his tongue wet and warm, spreading me open.

“When my hands aren’t on you,” he said, his breath hot against my sensitive flesh, his finger pushing inside me, “or in you, I miss how you feel.” His other hand slid up my body and cupped my breast, squeezing and toying with my nipple.

He stayed quiet, his mouth too busy to speak, so
I did the talking. “I love grabbing on to your hair when you’re between my legs.” I threaded my fingers in his thick locks and tugged gently as he sucked and licked, guiding him where I needed him and pressing his mouth harder against me.

I squirmed and rotated my hips, the hot, tingling sensation growing to a prickling ache for release. I dug my heels into his back and bucked my pelvis. So close. “I’m going to—oh God—yes, yes—”

He pulled his lips away and looked up at me. “What I miss most is feeling you let go. In my mouth, around my fingers, clenching my cock.” Then his mouth was back on me and I was pulling his hair and crying out, riding his mouth. I didn’t think it would end. Didn’t want it to end.

My eyes stayed closed. I felt him get up. When I opened them, he was stripping off his jeans; his chest was bare. He licked his lips and smiled. “Now comes what I love the most.” He climbed back onto the bed, stopping on his knees between my legs. “Being inside you. Making love to you.”

I clasped my ankles around his waist. “What if I want to be the one making love to you?”

He took my hands and brought them to his lips, kissing my knuckles as he pushed forward and eased inside me. “We’ll make love to each other.”

“Then come down here.” I pulled his chest down against mine. “I want to feel your whole body.” I ran my hands down his strong back and squeezed his perfect butt. My nipples grazed against his chest as he moved inside me.

“Keep your eyes on mine,” he said. “I love seeing them haze over when you let go.”

“Yours get even darker somehow,” I told him. “And they flicker like fire.”

He dropped his chin and flicked my nipple with his tongue. “Flicker, huh?”

I flicked my tongue across his earlobe. “Yeah,” I whispered, before taking it between my lips.

His hands slid under my butt, lifting it, and his pace increased. I could feel every blessed inch of him, thick and hard, claiming me. If this wasn’t Heaven, I didn’t ever want to go there. “It’s so good,” I said, locking eyes with him again. “Every time. So good.”

“I was made to fit inside you.” He thrust and rolled his hips.

I moaned. “I was made to hold you inside me.”

He rose up on his elbows and held my hands, our fingers entwined. “I won’t ever lose this, Rachael. This is essential for me to keep breathing. You’re my air. You keep me alive.”

He thrust and I met each one. “You’re my blood,” I said, rising up to meet him. “My bones.” I swiveled my hips in time with his, my breath coming faster, my muscles clenching around him. “My soul.”

I squeezed his hands tight, the rush taking me again. “My heart,” he groaned as I throbbed and contracted. “Merrick,” I panted.

“My love.” He dropped his forehead to my chest, stilled his body, and pulsed inside me.

We lay together for a long time, still connected, inhaling and exhaling at the same time, our heartbeats in sync. The sun went down and the candle on the dresser glowed, sending a halo of warm light across the wall.

We’d been through so much together in such a short time. It felt like years had passed between us, but it was only the beginning. There was a lifetime left to be lived.

A giddiness passed through me. Having Merrick was a gift. A dream come true.

I couldn’t wait to be his wife.

E
nzo’s ashes came a week later in a plastic container, delivered by the same pilot who’d dropped off the copy of the will, and we got them settled in their final resting place that same afternoon.

Mr. Simcoe captained the boat. Maddie and Rachael stood to the side as MJ and I took turns dumping his ashes into the murky Everglades swamp water.

“Our Father, who art in Heaven,” Mr. Simcoe began to recite. The rest of us joined in.

The honor and irony of disposing of my father’s remains settled heavily in my bones. I’d wanted him out of my life for as long as I could remember.

Now he was.

Watching the white-gray ash blow on the wind and float on the water was freeing, but at the same time, unsettling. I’d never know why he did it. I mean, he’d done it to save his own ass. That I got. But how could a man do that to his son? I’d already lost my mother.

This wasn’t the closure I’d expected it to be.

Rachael took my hand. “It’ll take time to say good-bye, but you will. Eventually, the hurt will stop.”

She knew my heart and mind so well. “I hope so.”

She nodded and kissed my cheek. “You’ll let it all go.”

I had a plan. My brother, MJ, was in on it. Rachael would get the wedding she wanted whether she knew it or not. There wasn’t much time to pull it off, only a couple months. In the meantime, Rachael, Maddie, and Joan put together a guest list.

Joan was a huge help. I had to admit, I never thought I’d see the day she and Rachael were friends, but seeing them sitting at the big farmhouse table in the kitchen at the Weston Plantation, there was no denying it.

Mr. Simcoe sat across the table with Maddie, flipping through an old book of plants and flowers. Rachael wanted to carry something native to the area down the aisle to complement her calla lilies, and my old-fashioned girl would get to wear her grandmother’s dress after all.

My soon-to-be mother-in-law was a genius. She hired a seamstress to sew a layer of lace over the bodice to hide the stain. I wouldn’t get to see it before the ceremony, but I heard all about it after Rachael was done squealing with delight on the phone the day before.

MJ and I, with Beck’s help, had some heroic feats to pull off before the big day. Rachael’s plan to go home for a bridal shower the weekend before would help. There were
a lot of people to contact while she was gone and a lot of unplanning all of her hard work.

In the end, she’d be so surprised and happy. I couldn’t wait to see her face.

There was a second surprise I had in mind for her, but it took calling Paul Renault. I’d been reluctant, unsure what he knew about our family situation and if he still spoke with Nadia. It turned out they weren’t in touch and he’d started seeing another woman.

I congratulated him before getting down to business. The details had to be finalized, but my wedding gift to Rachael was going to be a dream for her.

Having her in my life was a dream to me.

MJ came into the kitchen, where I was leaning against the counter drinking coffee and watching the plans come together. He handed me a check.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“I got an inheritance from Enzo. I’m paying you back for this place.” He leaned beside me.

I tore up the check. “Not going to happen.”

“You’re not my father, Merrick. I have the money. I want you to take it.”

“Not the point.” I took a sip of coffee. Its heat settled in my stomach. “I thought you were my son. I bought you this place. I don’t care if you’re my brother or my cousin or my uncle. You’re family. I gave it to you as a gift and don’t want your money.”

He was nearly thirteen years younger than me and had never had someone to look out for him. I’d be that guy. I’d taken that on and I wasn’t planning on quitting. “Call it a graduation present from your big brother if you have to,” I said.

“Quite a gift,” he said, grabbing a coffee mug out of the cupboard.

His finals were a week after the wedding. I knew the stress he’d be under trying to pull off my scheme and getting ready to pass his exams for graduation. “I owe you.”

His eyes roamed across the room to the table, where the planning and chatter were endless. “Yeah, you do.” He chuckled.

Beck came in and stood behind Joan, his hands on her shoulders. He bent and kissed the top of her head. I didn’t care what he said. His actions spoke for him.

The kitchen was warm. Not the warm you get from a hot autumn day, but the warmth that only comes from family. I was surrounded by family. These people would be in my life for a long time to come. They’d fill my home, my holidays, and be there when our family grew. We’d be parents and grandparents together. We’d see each other through the hard times and celebrate the good ones.

It was amazing how one year could change your life. Where I’d once had nothing, nobody, I now had a home
and a family. All it took was one woman and one crazy night when I whisked her away to Turtle Tear.

The night I took my Rachael, I gave my heart to her completely.

There was something al
m
ost poetic about that.

Something I’d vow to cherish for the rest of our lives.