Girl In Pieces (18 page)

Nothing hidden.

I crouched down in front of her so I could look into her eyes, Oliver finished securing her hands by connecting the two steel rings on each wrist together. The lock slid into place, the ring of metal on metal reminding me of the night I found her in the police station still handcuffed and the most vulnerable I’d ever seen her.

This time, restrained, blushing and smiling and presenting her exposed backside so proudly, there was absolutely
nothing
vulnerable about her. She held our hearts and dicks in her bound hands as if us enslaving her had been her singular intention all along.

This was power.

After several seconds of relishing her restraints, her eyes focused on mine, the haze of pleasure dissipating enough to pay attention.

“Do you understand why I’m going to punish you, my little sub?”

Kat’s smile vanished. Her eyes widened a little. She swallowed and nodded.

“You understand I cannot allow you to think this was ok, after what happened to you only a few days ago? You understand through punishment I am protecting you?”

“Yes, Josh.” She flushed when she realized her mistake and buried her nose into the crook of her elbow. “Master. Master Josh. Sir.”

Kat struggled with these titles, tasting each one and fighting through how unfamiliar they felt. She needed to connect with me, and these strange words made that difficult. I grinned, just a little character break, to ease her worry.

“It’s okay sweetheart.” I stroked the side of her face and leaned forward so our foreheads touched. “We’ll figure all of this out together. I don’t want you to try to be perfect all at once.”

She nodded and pressed her forehead into mine until our noses touched. The pressure was soothing, grounding. I’d have to remember this for later when she was anything but grounded.

Above us I heard Oliver exhale and I glanced up just in time to see him absently run a hand down the length of her spine and disengage at her tailbone. He pressed a hand to his brow and withdrew to the other end of the room, to the doors that overlooked a city where
his
sub,
his
girl, hid amongst the hundreds of thousands of nobodies.

In the moonlight he pulled out his cell phone and hovered a thumb over a name. Her name, I had no doubt. I hoped for his sake he’d give in. No one deserved to be kept from their One.

I knew from experience. I’d learned my lesson the hard way.

Lessons. Speaking of, I’d lingered long enough. Now it was time for Kat’s first lesson.

She lifted when I stood, pouting delicately with disappointment. I put away the smile and the softness and before she could react I wrapped her hair in my fist and eased her head backwards until her throat arced and strained at an unnatural angle.

A little gasp of pleasure escaped her parted lips. In the short time we’d played together, I’d discovered that even the slightest pressure on the back of her head, her hair in particular, brought on an almost euphoric response.

I touched her neck, where the hollow of her throat gave way to her collarbone. I’d never wanted anything so badly as I wanted to collar this girl.
Mine.
And I wanted every damn person in the world to know who’d claimed her.

She whined as I wrapped my hand around her throat and squeezed.

“Do you remember how to make me stop, Kat?”

“
Red
,” she choked against my palm, barely more than a whisper.

“Good girl.” I pushed her face into the bed as I rose to my feet. “Let’s begin.”

There was a moment before every jump, where your toes touch the edge and you look over and for a moment you understand what forever looks like. The edge crumbles and you feel it, the
on and on
of the fall.

Kneeling in the middle of the white bed, nothing to hold onto but leather restraints and delicate white linen, that’s what I felt. The edge, the fall, the on and on
and on
before breaking apart on the rocks below. Gravity upended me and it was all I could do to not go to pieces.

He’d come for me. Josh had come for me. I could still feel his kiss on my mouth, so at odds with the cuffs and threat of punishment. His kiss had whispered,
I love you, trust me.

And I did. I trusted him implicitly.

“I told you once that the submissive has power and now I’m going to prove it to you.” Josh knelt on the bottom of the bed, out of sight, and leaned into me. His hands were smaller than Oliver’s and rougher, calloused from years of bar work.

He palmed my thighs until he had a good hold, then pulled me towards him until my toes touched the edge of the mattress. He forced me off my elbows until my arms were stretched out above my head. In this position I couldn’t see much beyond my elbows and a few inches right in front of my nose, my head cradled between my upper arms. I tried the restraints, pulled this one and then that, but with the two cuffs connected by twin rings of thick steel, there was little more than an inch of give in any direction. Very quickly I felt a low burn in my shoulders and only gained relief when I stopped fighting them and set my forehead to the bed.

“First, your panties.” There was a rumble in his voice that made my heart thrum painfully. He wasn’t a good enough actor to hide his displeasure at my being here in the first place. I’d hurt him by allowing myself to be given to Oliver so easily. It had been careless and stupid, and yet…

…yet if I hadn’t done it we wouldn’t be here now, screwing all the reasons we’d put up to keep us apart. I also didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Oliver’s presence only enhanced the moment, turned me on like a jet engine, and left me feeling shaky and beside myself.

For a moment, when Oliver reprimanded Josh for not collaring me sooner, I’d kind of fallen in love with them both at the same time, all at once.

“I hate that you wore these for him.” He dug his fingers into the tops of their elastic ribbon and dragged them off, over my hips and down my thighs, releasing one leg, then the other. “You’ll never wear them again. Not ever. I won’t allow it.”

“Yes, Sir. I won’t, Sir. I promise.” In this position, I was unable to see him and badly wishing I could. Somewhere behind us, the balcony doors creaked open, letting in a blast of cold air that broke across my exposed backside.

My skin prickled with goosebumps from the cold and from my arousal. Josh had put me in this position, but somewhere on the other side of the room Oliver witnessed my punishment. Had been the catalyst for it, and I had no doubt he was quite proud of himself for doing his part to put me here.

“Here’s the game,” Josh continued, coming back around to the front of the bed. “And as always, you have a choice whether to play or not.”

I could just tilt my chin enough to see him come to stand in front of me, legs shoulder width apart. He was shirtless, his hard, scarred body hot and a little scary all at the same time. My thoughts swam with paradoxes and contradictions. Was it always like this? Wanting and being terrified of that want?

Then Josh put his hands on his belt buckle and started unfastening it deliberately, one loop at a time and I died inside.

Yes. God. Finally.

“I’m going to spank you, Kat. As many times as I like, as hard as I like.” He pulled his belt through the loops, a hush noise that was both threatening and satisfying. “Then I will touch you, however I like, which I promise you’ll love. You have a choice in these moments. If you want me to touch you again, you’ll have to ask for more and you’ll get it.”

Josh unbuttoned his jeans next, let his zipper down half an inch to expose the band of his briefs and the familiar, engorged shape of his cock straining for release.

“Both the pain and the pleasure. If you want me to stop, just say the word and I will, but you don’t get the pleasure until you’ve suffered the pain.”

“Oh, God,” I moaned despite myself, fear and excitement warring between my legs. Josh made a sound of pleasure as he stepped closer, looping his belt between his hands.

“Do you understand what this means, my little sub?” He reached out and stroked his hand in my hair, a gesture I was quickly beginning to realize I loved best. It soothed me, grounded me. There was a lot of power in his hands when he dug them into my hair. “What I’m telling you is, your punishment will be your own doing. Your own fault. You’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”

My breath caught.

“Do you trust me, sweetheart?”

“Yes, Josh. Sir.” I shuddered. “I trust you. Completely.”

“Good girl.” He pushed my face into the sheets gently, lining me up perfectly with the stretch of my arms, the arch and bend of my spine, all the way to where I tucked my bottom to my heels. In this position, there was nothing he couldn’t do.

And it would be my own fault if he did it.

So that was power.

The first touch of leather to my ass was gentle, a
tap tap tap
along the top swell and down each side. The tap continued along the backs of my thighs as I rose my tailbone up like a cat. The sensation was playful and easy to reach for. I sighed and lifted my hips to meet his strap.

And then—

Then.

Then.

Josh cracked the loop of belt over my left cheek, a shotgun blast I felt across my whole body. At first the noise overwhelmed the sensation, and then the heat swelled into the mark, flushing white hot. I had no voice to scream with, just a choking gasp as I dug my hands into the chain between my wrists and held on for dear life.

Josh stilled, touched the spot with his free hand and waited for many seconds, minutes, years.

“Sweetheart.”

“Wait,” I gasped. “Wait please just a second.”

He said nothing, but he waited, patiently stroking my mark with his full hand. I had no concept of time as I caught my breath, but when the swell of pain diminished, I nodded into my arms.

“Ok. Ok. I’m ok. Mmm, more please.”

And he obliged. The second one mirrored the first on the other cheek, the explosion of sound almost worse than the pain he inflicted.

Almost.

Then again.

He struck the left, right, left, left again, concentrating four blows over a wide section of my buttocks. Some were little more than a swat, but the ones that impacted, the ones meant to
hurt
, they absolutely stole my breath away. I jerked and pulled and screamed when I found my voice, too shocked by the scorch of each blow.

I balled myself between my arms and shook uncontrollably. This was what I thought –
you don’t want this, Kat. You couldn’t possibly want this. How could you possibly want this?

I don’t know how long I spent swirling through my thoughts, because Josh, wherever he was, froze his assault. My thoughts spun away and back wildly.

I don’t want this.

I want so much more of this.

It hurts so much.

Yes,
it hurts
. Let it.

Fingers brushed my tightly pressed thighs. One slid up the Y, parting lips and stroking to just below my anus. Josh pet me slowly and gently and I realized with horror and fascination that he was spreading the evidence of my pleasure with his fingers.

He was silent as he touched me, not quite entering but only just to his first knuckle. It took him several patient minutes to relax me enough to spread my knees and open my thighs to get at me and it was then that I felt the cool night air against my slick, damp thighs.

“Shit,” Josh swore softly. He moaned. “You’re so fucking wet.”

My thoughts stilled. I leaned into my shoulders, closed my eyes, concentrated on the place where his fingers stroked me. My whole body betrayed my thoughts. I was his contradiction, a little war between my legs.

More. Stop. More. Stop.

When Josh pulled his fingers away, leaving me cold and shaking, I knew my answer.

“Please, Sir,” I gulped against my inner elbow. “Again.”

Josh
mmm
ed softly, a proud rumble of approval. He stepped back.

I wrapped my hands around the chain, tensed.

When the belt came down, lightning and thunder crashed across my body, shaking screams from my mouth. I pulled on my restraints, all my muscles tightening for the next blow.

The second one crossed both cheeks, stinging the crevice between. I sobbed into the sheets, though no tears came.

“Sweetheart.” Then, more demanding, “
Kat
.” He caressed the curve of my lower back, thumbing the little dimples that marked the top swell of my ass. “You have to relax. It’ll hurt worse if you don’t. You have to relax your body.”

“I’m trying, Sir. I swear.”

Josh ran his hand adoringly across my waist and hips, always returning to trace his marks. I could hear him breathing, worry seeping into our moment. He seemed to know my thoughts, as he always had, and leaned closer to me. He set his hand between my legs, resting his thumb on my anus and his fingers at the entrance to my sex. He didn’t invade either one, just touched and stroked until my hips were purring for him.

“Some nights, long before Halloween, I dreamed of little else than you on your knees. I remember watching you on the dance floor, arms above your head, hips grinding with someone I hated. Every night I’d go home and wish I could bring you with me. I thought I should be ashamed for wanting you this way, but the truth is I couldn’t be more proud of you right now. My little sub. Safeword and I’ll stop and we’ll go home. You won’t disappoint me.”

The warmth in my belly, all those butterflies coming to life, broke loose and I felt the tingling sensation of pleasure all over my body. Goosebumps chased up my arms and down my thighs and it was all I could do not to push harder into his hand. He’d wanted me. Before Halloween. My Josh had wanted me.

And I wanted him, exactly like this.

“No,” I told him, pulling myself onto my knees, presenting myself to him. I took a deep breath and embraced the butterflies and the bruises. “I want more.”

His fingers, caressing my clit, hesitated. He pressed his thumb gently, never breaking the tight ring, before pulling away.

“I’d give you anything you asked for, my little sub.”

This time, when the belt came down, I raised my hips to meet it. It still stung like hell, but I kept my shoulders and back boneless, resting all my weight into them. This time, when the fire-bright pain seared across my skin, I didn’t pull away.

Josh swatted and struck in a pattern. Back and forth across the thickest parts of my bottom, hips, thighs. No place the same twice. No two painful blows in a row. Tap, tap, tap, WHAM.

When I stopped fighting him and trusted him not to take me further than I could handle, the sensations became extraordinary.

Somewhere in the fog of my body, I felt the falling. Lights exploded with each blow, and with each blow a building in my belly I couldn’t name or deny. I rocked to meet his punishments, moaned with the caress of his fingers. He growled once, animalistic and ferocious, then plunged two fingers roughly into my pussy. He fucked me with his hand, spreading my lips and sliding two, then three, then two inside.

He kept this rhythm as I lost my head again, this time from overwhelming pleasure and not just from the bite of pain. The paradox of the two made my fingers tingle, reaching and reaching and reaching above me for something to hold onto as I fell into the sky.

“More.” I moaned. “Please Josh, more.”

He hissed, didn’t correct me, and lifted his belt one more time.

When it came down, harder than any that had come before it, I howled into the mattress, half sobbing and half screaming. My pussy squeezed, an unbearable pressure tightening my insides. I didn’t know if this was pleasure or pain any more, they felt like the same thing, had always been the same thing, indistinguishable from one another. I begged his name incoherently into the sheets, no longer sure what I was begging him for.

I was going to come. Sonofabitch, he was going to make me come. Was that even possible? I mouthed my cries into the sheets, digging my fingers in and writhing violently. Everything pulsed, every inch of my body bright white hot and slicked with sweat and sex. It dripped down my thighs obscenely, musky and wicked.

“Safeword, Kat,” Josh begged as he plunged his fingers into me again. I could feel him shaking, panting, could smell his arousal. He pressed the belt into the small of my back, leaned in, and pumped his fingers inside me. I bucked and writhed and moaned, growing wilder with each touch. I didn’t even know where we were at in the game, pleasure or punishment? Had they become the same thing somewhere between the beginning and my very near and very loud end?