Get Off on the Pain (14 page)

My heart is pounding so fast in my chest that I can barely breathe now. I don’t want this moment to stop. I want him to keep going. I know I’ve only known him for a little over a week, but I can’t help but to want him inside me, filling me and controlling me. I want this man, all of him.

I don’t even know how or when we made it into the living room, but next thing I know he tosses me onto the oversized couch and rips his shirt off over his head, his eyes wandering up and down my body.

My eyes land on his side as he just stands there, and that’s when I see the beautiful woman’s face. It must have been his mother. He truly did love this woman with everything in him. There’s no way this man can be as bad as he thinks he is.

I swallow and watch his chest quickly rise and fall as he brings his eyes up to my face. He’s hesitating. I can see it in his eyes.

“I want you, Memphis. I’m not scared,” I say, hoping that he’ll give into his desire and just take me already. “It’s okay to touch me. I won’t break.”

He crawls onto the couch and grips my face as he looks down into my eyes. His jaw muscles flex as I reach up and touch his hard chest, but he quickly removes his hand as if he’s suddenly afraid of touching me.

“I don’t know how to be gentle,” he whispers. “I can’t.”

I slide my hands down his chest until I reach his hard cock. I rub both hands up and down his shaft, stroking him through his jeans. It’s so thick that I need both hands. “I don’t want you to.”

He reaches out and quickly rips my shirt open, before arching my back up so that his lips can reach my breasts. He kisses them roughly over the lace before pushing my bra up and taking a nipple in his mouth, nibbling it between his perfect teeth.

I get ready to pull my hands away from his dick so that I can grab his hair, but he grips my hand to hold it in place. “Don’t stop touching me. It feels good.”

We’re both lost in this moment, just staring at each other, until the front door swings open and Memphis quickly sits up from the couch as if he already knows who it must be.

“Fuck.” He looks back down at me and swallows before sitting up and gripping his hair in frustration. “I took this too far,” he growls out. “Fuck me.” He slips his shirt on me to cover my body.

I sit up and look to see who’s here as a guy with dark hair, tall, and full of tattoos walks into the house with a sexy grin. He somewhat reminds me of Memphis, except younger, and a hell of a lot happier.

“Big fucking brother.” He looks Memphis over before nodding his head toward me, and then smiles as he sets down a huge bag. “Nice, bro. I dig her.”

“Where the fuck have you been, Alex?” Memphis growls out almost scaring me. “I’ve been back for over a week looking for your ass. I thought you were fucking dead in a ditch or some shit. Then you just show up like it’s fucking nothing.”

Memphis pulls his brother into his arms and squeezes his head in relief. Alex’s muscles flex as he squeezes Memphis’ shoulder. They stay like that for a moment before they both pull away and Memphis’ eyes land on me. “I should walk you home.” He turns back to Alex and points his finger. “I’ll be right back. Don’t you fucking move. We have some shit to discuss.”

This is who he’s been waiting on. He’s the only reason that Memphis is still here. He said so himself . . . and now he’s back. That could only mean one thing: he is free to leave now. The thought makes my chest ache.

I pull on the end of his t-shirt and take a small breath, looking over at Alex as he smiles at me. “I’m the younger, sexier brother as you can see.” He winks. “Just remember that for later. It was nice meeting you.”

“Sure. Nice to meet you too,” I say, not really knowing how to react right now. If Memphis has been gone for six years, then this is their first reunion and I’m here to ruin it. He’ll probably hate me after this. He’s right. I should be going. “I’ll walk myself home. I’m sure I can find it without you. It is just next door.”

“So you’re the one renting from us. Nice.” Alex says to himself.

I take off walking for the front door, but Memphis grabs my arm, stopping me. “I said I was walking you home and I am. Stop being so damn stubborn and just let me.”

He walks ahead of me, but stops to be sure I’m following before he continues walking. Once we get to my door, he leans against the house and waits for me to unlock the door.

“Sorry for ruining your night.” I get ready to walk inside, but he grips my arm and pulls me back outside, pressing me up against the house.

“I told you to stay away from me, Lyric. You just had to tempt me when you knew I had been drinking.” He leans into my neck and kisses it roughly, before running his lips in a vertical line, stopping under my ear. “I’m leaving soon. I’ve already hurt too many people and I don’t want you to be another one, dammit. So stay away.”

“Don’t blame it on the alcohol, Memphis,” I say, now pissed off. “You know damn well what you’re doing right now. You seem to be a pro at controlling your liquor just like you are with everything else . . . and don’t you fucking tell me to stay away when you’re the one pressing me against a wall.” I push him away from me. “I’m not a little fucking girl. You don’t need to worry about me, I got myself covered, but don’t worry . . . I’ll stay away from now on.”

I walk into the house and slam the door in his face. I’m so fucking angry with him that I could choke him. He wants to accuse me of tempting him while he’s drunk? Well, screw him. You can barely tell he’s had one drink. Maybe it’s best he’ll be leaving soon.

Better for both of us . . .

FUCK ME . . .

I stand outside for a moment and just stare at her door like an idiot. I knew I should have made her stay home tonight. I knew that if I had a few drinks around her that I would lose my willpower and put my hands on her. I did, and now all I want is more.

The worst part is . . . I don’t want anyone else putting their hands on her either; not now that I’ve had a taste. I just fucked her and myself without even using my fucking dick.

I look over at my house and see Alex leaning over the porch railing, smoking a cigarette. I get an ache in my chest, taking in how grown he is. Last time I saw him he was just a scrawny boy. Now he’s a grown man, built almost to my size and covered with tattoos. I wouldn’t doubt it if most of those tattoos were from his personal artwork. He’s got mad drawing skills; always has.

He looks up with a small smile when he notices me at the bottom of the steps. “Shit, man. It feels so strange being back here with you.” He takes one last drag of his cigarette before tossing it into the grass and standing up straight. “I can’t believe it’s been six years, bro. I missed the shit out of you.”

I walk up onto the porch and lean next to him, against the railing. “Yeah,” I breathe. “I missed you too, Alex.” I swallow back the hurt. “And mom. I miss her the most.”

Alex turns away, running his hands through his hair. “It’s all my fucking fault; why you weren’t here for mom when she passed. I’m the reason you missed her funeral. The guilt eats at me every damn day. I feel like shit. I’m sorry, bro.”

I squeeze the railing in my hand, my knuckles turning white. “Don’t,” I seethe. “We already went through this . . . that day, and I meant every single word of it. I told you that I’d always protect you and mom, and
I
did.
I
did what I had to do. None of that was on you. You were a kid for fuck’s sake.”

“Yeah, but you don’t think it haunts me just the same?” He turns to look at me, his nostrils flared. “If I would’ve known how to protect myself . . . you would’ve been here for mom. You always took care of her. That’s why I’m
fight
ing now. I don’t want to be helpless. Fuck, Memphis!”

I can’t stand seeing him hurt and blaming himself, but I have a feeling that no matter what I say, nothing’s going to change his mind; not right now at least. The best I can do is distract him.

“Tell me what you’re doing with Asher. He’s dangerous and we both know it. Mom taught you better than that . . . I taught you better than that.”

His face turns white and he suddenly looks sick. He didn’t think I’d find out so quickly. “What the fuck?” He whispers, but barely loud enough for me to hear. “I’ve been doing some fights for him. No biggie.” He walks into the house and I follow behind him. “I needed cash to help take care of mom’s expenses. He was at a fight one night and offered me a lot of money because he heard I was your brother.”

“Yeah?” I watch as he reaches into his bag for some shorts and some wraps. “He’s still dangerous, Alex. I don’t want you fighting for him anymore, or at all.”

He looks up from wrapping his hands. “It doesn’t matter what you want, Memphis. I have to for now. I’ll be fine.” He pulls off his jeans and slips into his black shorts.

“What are you doing?”

“Fighting.” He tosses his bag aside and reaches for his keys. “The alley. Ten minutes.”

“Are you fucking serious?” My voice peaks as I punch my fist through the wall, before leaning against it, trying to calm myself. “Is that why you came back? For a fucking fight?”

He walks to stand in front of me and looks me in the eyes. “Fuck no! I’m back for you, but I got screwed into fighting tonight. I need the money, Memphis. I know what I’m doing. Just come with me. It will be quick.”

Shaking my head I grip his shoulder and look back at him. He knows I’ll do anything he asks. I just wish it didn’t involve me watching him fight. It fucking kills me to even think about what he went through as a teenager. All the hits I saw him take over and over again. All the hits I took. I never wanted him to go through that.

“I didn’t want this life for you. I couldn’t control my anger. That’s why I got into fighting in the first place. It’s different for you. You’re better than I am.”

“Says who?” He shakes his shoulder free and walks outside.

“FUCK, ALEX!”

I lock the door handle and slam it shut behind me as I trail after him. Alex is already waiting in his truck with the engine running, so I jog over to the passenger side and hop in. “You’re lucky I care about you so damn much, and that you already have this fight set up. I know you can’t just cancel that shit, but after this we’ll talk about money and what you need. Okay?”

He looks in my direction and nods, but doesn’t say a word. There’s more. He just doesn’t want to say it. I could always read him and he knows that.

THE ALLEY IS PACKED WITH
eager people, partying it up and waiting for a good fight. As I stand behind the white line with Alex, it brings me back to six years ago when I used to live for this moment, fighting inside that stupid, spray painted makeshift ring. It was the best idea we could come up with, without having to put up a ring each night and take it back down. Plus, it’s kind of hard to hide a real ring from the cops. This works for us, keeps us out of trouble . . . most of the time. It’s simple: whenever the huge white square fades, it gets repainted.

Alex is jumping back and forth while cracking his neck, getting himself pumped. He’s up first tonight, taking on one of the bigger fighters: Layne Ridge.

I’ve never seen either of them fight, so to be honest, I’m a little nervous for Alex. I’ll just stand back and see what the kid has. I never wanted people jumping in on my shit when I was ready for a fight. I’ve been absent. At this point, that’s all I can do.